Torn (3 page)

It would do her good to get out, and if she was to be here a while it would help to make some friends.

Her phone was already ringing as she went into her office, and the morning became hectic with a multitude of things to get organised.

Daniel appeared suddenly at her door.
“Can you get me a reservation for 8pm tonight, at my usual place? You know where that is.”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Why was it that everything he said seemed to her to hold a nuance, an underlying implication? His presence, his tone, the way in which he spoke slowly pronouncing every word correctly and fully, as though the most ordinary of words held a secret power that became apparent to those hearing it when he had uttered them.

At lunchtime she left to go for a walk, clear her head, get away from the oppressive atmosphere that imbued her. In her undertaking she had not expected her memories to become so pervading, encroaching on her day, reminding her of her purpose but upsetting her at the same time. Envy bit at her as she watched the carefree people she passed, imagining their happy lives, as tears formed in her eyes.

She took a longer than usual lunch, kept walking, tried to clear the things from her mind, seeking distraction.

Back at the office, she was glad for the demands of her role. She felt isolated in the room alone and welcomed the evening ahead.

At six thirty Linda poked her head in the door.
“We’re going in five.”

“Great. I’m coming.”

Daniel appeared just as she was coming out.

“The car will collect you at seven forty five.”
“What?”

“Did you not hear me?”

“What for?”

“Dinner. I asked you to make a reservation.”
“I know, but you didn’t say it was for me. I can’t, I have made other arrangements now.”
“Is that so?” He raised his eyebrows at her.

“Yes.”

“Well, next time I will be sure to fully explain to you.”

With that he left.

Madeline found Linda at her desk, applying lipstick.

“Nice colour. It suits you.”

“Oh thanks. You ready?”

“Sure.” Maddy smiled, eager to make a good impression on the group that she really didn’t know.

“Who else is coming?”

“The boys.”

She meant the dealers, Daniel’s team of brokers.

“Oh and Sahira.” Sahira was an administrator for the team.

They went over to the dealing section, as the guys got up, grabbing their jackets to go. They were in a boisterous mood, joking around and getting physical with each other before they had even left the office.

They all walked together down to the bar a block away. Gabe, the head broker bought the first round for everyone, Linda recommending a particular cocktail to Maddy. She didn’t want to drink much but she also didn’t want to give the impression of being a bore. It was important that she got on with them all; she might need their help, not that they would know why, but they could provide valuable information to her. Besides which, they all seemed really nice and she needed friends, needed to let her hair down and have some fun. It crossed her mind that Daniel was displeased with her for saying she could not go to dinner with him, but he had given her no notice and whilst she needed to get close to him, she was unsure what his agenda was and the intensity of his presence when he was with her intimidated her to the extreme.

The Bar was full of professionals still in their office clothes, large groups enjoying themselves. The conversation, what she could hear of it over the music, was light-hearted. No-one mentioned Daniel. The Djay played some rnb and as the evening wore on the group joined others on the small dance floor letting go of the stress of the day; the guys busting some moves, often comically so. She hadn’t laughed so much in a long time, and as the drinks flowed she became lost in the moment, pure relaxation and fun, so happy to have come along feeling at ease with them all and their impromptu revelry.
“Glad you came?” Chris leant down to ask her.

“This is just what I needed, thanks!”
“Same here!”

Chris was a bit of a geek in appearance, but highly educated and a genius at fixing IT issues. He kept all the systems working smoothly.  With his overgrown dirty blonde hair and thick glasses he surprised her with his extroverted dance moves. Maybe it was the cocktails and shots he had had. He was usually fairly quiet in the office. He spinned her around the floor until she could hardly keep her balance, laughing at the sight of each other.
The sound of Motown came on over the speakers, and the group carried on dancing. She realised that when these guys partied, they partied hard. It was gone two am now and no-one had left yet. She dreaded getting up for work in just a few hours, but the memories they would have of the night made it worth it. 

About an hour later, they called it a day. Escaping outside, they shared taxis as it dropped them off, those who lived closest first, and Maddy was first out of the taxi.

“Thanks so much for a great night.” She told Linda, Sahira, Chris and Gabe, as they all kissed her goodbye.

She looked at her bedside alarm when she got indoors. It was three twenty five am. Oh my God, she had to be up in three hours! But she’d had one hell of a good night; she smiled to herself as she lay down fully dressed on top of the bed.

Chapter Six

As the sunrise woke her, two hours later, she cursed not having black out curtains. She had an hour before she needed to get up and quickly grabbing a drink of water, she returned to bed.

Stepping into the office, she felt more camaraderie now with the team as they all greeted her, some looking exhausted, but mostly looking completely refreshed, and she wondered at how they had managed it. She was shattered and again definitely hung over. It had been an enormous effort to get showered and dressed.

Opening up her door she prayed for an easy day. Daniel stood there looking ominously imposing in his pristine tailored pinstripe suit, fitted immaculately to his shape. He obviously worked out significantly to maintain such physical perfection.

“Late night?” His tone sardonic.
Did she look that bad?

“Yes.”

“So I heard from the others. Well, let’s hope you can keep your mind on the job today.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem.”

“Glad to hear it. Now, I need the report I requested you to prepare by end of play yesterday. Where is it?”
“I emailed it to you yesterday.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes. I did.” God, his damn attitude. He was so cold.

“Have you looked in you inbox?”

“What an incredibly good idea! Yes. I have. “

“Let me log on and I’ll show you I sent it. In fact, I’ll just send it to you again, given that you say you don’t have it.”

“How kind of you.” He left.

She logged on, huffing at his overbearing tone. She re-sent the report, and then checked her sent box to prove to herself that she had indeed sent it to him. It wasn’t there. She couldn’t find it. Damn it, she knew she had sent it. It was the last thing she had done before, and then she remembered, she had been just about to do it when Linda had appeared around the door, saying they were ready to go to the Bar. She must have thought she had sent it in her hurry to leave. Oh well. She was really in no mood to apologise to him. She got her head down and got on with her work.

That afternoon, she knew Daniel was attending a meeting. She didn’t really expect to find anything she could use, but it was an opportunity to look again. She went into his office and started by looking for the key to the filing cabinet. She searched his desk drawers again, then went to the bookshelf, running her hands along the ledge to feel if it was there. She found it about half way along. As her hands trembled she unlocked the cabinet. She didn’t know where he had gone or how long he would be. Hurriedly she looked through the files. The problem was, she was not a forensic accountant and had no real head for figures. It was quite like a foreign language to her but she quickly took some of the files to her office and photocopied them, stuffing them into her handbag and returning to his office.  She couldn’t risk doing too many, but she took one more pile, nausea hitting her stomach as she thought of the consequences of being caught. Replacing the files she locked the cabinet and returned the key, only not quite sure of the exact spot it had been in, she tried to remember. Placing her hand along the shelf she lay it down, her fingers brushing against something as she did so. Pulling it down she saw that it was a book, lying face down on the shelf, opposed to the others resting upright. It was a small black plain book, or rather what looked like a journal or diary, plain black leather, no writing on either side. Opening it up she saw lines of handwritten notes, in fine italicised ink. It was lines of verse; poetry. She began to read it and the words came to life, filling her with a wretched heartbreak from the sentiments expressed in the passages. It was an anguished cry of despair, isolation and loneliness; visceral in its haunting description, rendering a soul in turmoil and devastation.

It could only have been written by Daniel; she recognised his handwriting. When had he written this? She read on to the next page, lost in the misery it portrayed, finding it hard to read yet the eloquence of it was astonishing.

The door opened sharply and she turned her head toward it. Daniel stood on the threshold looking at her. The expression on his face one of thunder, fury in his eyes as he looked at what she held in her hands.

“Would you like to tell me what you are doing Madeline?”

She had absolutely no idea what to say.

“I was just looking at your book collection.”

“And how is that relevant to your job here?”

“I just have a love for books. I was intrigued.”

She refused to apologise.

“So it would appear. That particular one was written by my late Father. One would probably consider it private, but it seems you are not one for boundaries Madeline. Do you just think anything goes?”

She was frozen with nerves.

He came toward her and didn’t stop until he was backing her against the bookshelf. His body pressed up against hers as his hand reached to take the book from her, his eyes searing her, his firm chest pressed against hers, and lower down, she could clearly feel the shape of him as it pressed into her against her skirt.

“Nothing is off limits for you Madeline. Do you think you can just take what you want?”

He left his arm up on the bookshelf, closing her in. “Because two can play at that game my dear. And I need to be clear, that of the two of us we know who would win.”

She felt his growing hardness as his other hand ran up her leg in a slow seduction.

“What am I to do with you to teach you the meaning of respect and loyalty?”

Despite everything, regardless of it all, she couldn’t stop her body’s natural response to him, the growing aching deep between her legs, a craving so primal. She wanted him, his body, his strength of purpose, his essence.

He spoke into her ear.

“Turn around Madeline.”

She did as he told her; unsure of what was happening but willingly accepting his control. She could not see him now as he stood behind her. She felt his hand touch the bottom of her skirt and slowly lift it up until it was raised over her buttocks.

“Do you realise it was only a few years ago that caning was stopped in private schools. The teachers would spank the pupils with canes, rulers, hands. There are some people who will only respond to physical discipline, too strong mentally to accept the error of their ways. I think you may be someone like that Madeline.”
Without further comment, he swiftly raised his arm and brought it down on her buttocks. He followed with a succession of smacks, rubbing his hand on the cheeks of her bottom after each one, watching the reddening, speaking seductively into her ear as he dealt the blows.

“Is this what you needed Madeline? Is this what it takes to bring you under control?”

His hand strayed between her legs.

“I need to see how you are responding. Are you wet Madeline?”

His hand rubbed against her panties, feeling the dampness that she had not known was there.

“You have soaked your panties. A clear indication to me that you needed this.”

He wanted to take her there and then, bend her over, pull down her panties and pound her hard. But, despite his intense arousal, he was also aware that his office door was not locked, that he had a client due at any moment and more than that this was not something that he wished to rush. He wanted to take his time with her.

He stepped back from her, looking at her for a moment or two, exposed to him, before pushing down her dress and covering her back up.

“Go and do some work. I have a meeting now.”

She stood for a few seconds, embarrassed by her acquiescence, unwilling to turn around to face him. She moved but kept her face turned straight ahead avoiding him, walking quickly out of the room.