Torn (The McKerricks Book 1) (22 page)

“
Then tell me,” I plead gently taking a slow steady step closer.

Her eyes go past me, and a grimace covers her face. I turn to look and the commotion between Henley and I has drawn a crowd of nurses. All of them are dabbing their eyes.
“Come on Henley trust him. Entrust your heart and your body to him Henley.”

When I turn my gaze back to Henley I realize one very important detail, I need to get Henley alone. I need her to have to rely on me. I need her to only have me for input. Because her face says these woman just dug my grave and were currently burying me in it.

“Bullshit,” she growls out angrily. “Who would?”

I ignore the barb, and pull out my phone as she storms past me and into the hall, everyone scattering as she stomps her way out. Micky answers on the first ring.

“Finally lost your shit huh? Knew you’d end up at a mental hospital one day.”

“
Tell me you brought the Bentley or the limo? I’m here picking up Henley.”

“
I’m in the Bentley… Is everything okay.”

“
Yeah. Sure. It’s fine. Bring the car out front, and call the hangar and make sure the Gulfstream is ready to go. And get Henley’s things out of the Maserati.” I end the call and work my way into the hall after Henley. As I pass Nora, I hand her the Maserati keys. “I’ll send someone for those. Take care of the dog.”

Henley is halfway down the hall, and headed for the elevator. My legs are long, definitely longer than hers, and I catch up as the elevator doors open. Before she can move, I snatch her arm up and shove her into the open elevator. She panics, as she should being stuck in a small space with me right now, but she can
’t get out unless she goes through me and there is no way in hell I’d let her get that far. I’ve already told her I’d apologize for whatever I did that upset her, but she still wont give in so my mind is rapidly forming drastic measures.

“
Are you trying to break up with me lover?” I ask sweetly, once again trying to do this the easy way.

“
Tsk. Like we were even dating. We were just fucking, plain and simple. You know that.”

Her words hurt. I know they shouldn
’t, I know she is just spouting off because she is angry, because shes scared, because she hurts. But they fucking
hurt
. My hands wrap tightly around her shoulders, and I slam her up against the elevator wall, getting all kinds of up in her personal space.

“
Look me in the fucking eyes and say that all I am to you is an easy fuck
lover
.” She cant. Her eyes are looking everywhere but directly at me. “I fucking thought so.”

The elevator door opens, so I lace my fingers with hers and drag her, protesting, out of the elevator after me. Her protests gain momentum as she realizes I
’m headed toward the front door. Eventually its too hard to just drag her along, so I scoop her up and carry her over my shoulder. That really sets her off.

“
What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“
Henley,” I reply calmly, not missing the chance to grope her ass while she is slung over my shoulder. “I didn’t get on Forbes list of richest men playing by the rules. I’ll break every single one if it will bring you home.”

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I sling her into the back of the Bentley. Micky who is holding the door open casts me a sideways glance like he thinks this is a horrible idea, but otherwise he keeps his mouth shut. I really owe him a raise, or at least a bonus. I slide in after Henley, and Micky closes the door. Henley is wrenching the handle on the opposite door, trying her best to make an escape, but the doors are all locked and the only one who can open them is Micky at this point.

Eventually her frantic attempts at escape slow down, and she turns and casts me a scared look. “Why are you doing this? You don’t even know me…”

“
Then tell me. Fuck show me if you have too, but I am. Not. Letting. You. Go.”

“
Why? Why are you doing this?”

“
Think about it a little bit stupid,” I reply with an aggravated sigh. How could she not know? How could she have no clue that I’m in love with her? Do I really have to fucking say it? That I love it when she shows me a real smile. I love the way she is with her niece and nephew. I love her sense of humor. I love how she eats what she wants. I love how she does what she wants. I love the way she watches me when she thinks I’m not looking. I love the way it feels when she touches me, when she screams my name, I love the indestructible way
I
feel when I touch her.

With a huff, she leans as far away as possible and watches outside the window. Each puff of her breath leaves a fog on the window as she stares at the cold Washington  scenery go by. Which is fine, I
’ve got plans to make. Thank God for smart phones that can do all the shit I need to do online, because if Henley heard what I was doing she would probably throw herself through the glass window to get out.

It takes about thirty minutes before she realizes I
’m not taking her to her house.

“
Where are we going?” Her eyes weren’t curious or playful, they were angry.

“
Talking to me again? How nice. We aren’t going to your house.”

“
Going to your house then where you take all your tramps? Lucky me.”

I know I shouldn
’t respond to it. I
know
I shouldn’t. But the feeling is so new, and the verbal bitchslap she threw is so harsh that I can’t help myself.

“
Henley. In the seven years that I have lived there, three women have been in that house. My mother, my sister, and
you
. I have
a lot
to say on this topic, but I’m not doing it while your throwing your little tantrum.” She makes a face that honestly, freaks me the fuck out. It says I’m going to
kill
you as soon as you go to sleep, before she turns her face back to the window, and I turn myself back to making plans.

Its about another twenty minutes before we turn into our destination, and the moment she realizes what is going on she becomes extremely agitated, pressing her face against the window to get a better look outside. It
’s and ingenious plan if I do say so myself.

When the car rolls to a stop, I step out in one fluid motion, and turn back to offer Henley my hand. She looks at it like a snake, so with a sight I reach in and snatch her up, dragging her out of the car. She squirms against me and fights, but compared to earlier its half hearted, it really only serves to make my dick hard. Which is not what I need right now. In fact I feel pretty guilty being able to get it up from being this close to Henley when she is so distraught, so I ignore it as best as I can, as I climb the stairs and step into the Gulfstream.

As far as private jets go its pretty good, in fact fucking amazing might be one way to describe it, which is why I bought it in the first place. I stride with Henley’s struggling body straight to the back of the plane, and dump her on the bed.

“
Get some sleep.” I tell her softly before turning and taking one of the cream leather seats in the front of the plane to finish prep work. I need Henley absolutely isolated. If she has a chance to escape she will take it. I’ve got to get back several months worth of work at this point, all because I wanted my dick in her mouth. Fuck me.

My hands fly over the keys of my phone as the plane takes off. I
’ve still got to make the reservations, I’ve got to order clothes because we didn’t have time to stop and a multitude of other odds and ends to arrange, and it’s going to be a long flight.

Chapter 17

We were nearing the ten hour mark when Henley finally made her way out of the back room. She walks straight from the room into the bathroom, and when she finally comes out, she looks so much better. The bags under her eyes aren’t quite as stark, her skin not as gray, but the bandages are messy, and the blood easily shows through. She sits as far as she can from me, and I have to work to keep myself from rolling my eyes.

I get up and grab the first aid kit, before sitting down directly in front of Henley. She eyes me up wearily, and I can
’t blame her. I pretty much stuck my dick in her mouth, scared her witless, then kidnapped her. Pretty much I’m headed for a world record of most fuck ups in a relationship, but it’ll be worth it. It has to be.

“
Tell me,” I say softly with a gesture toward her arms as I pull the gauze out of the kit.

“
No.” She pulls her arms up so that I can’t change the bandages.

“
Henley, you can give me your arms, and tell me what the fuck is going on and get it over with. Or you can draw it the fuck out. But you
will
tell me, and we will get through it.”

I can see the flicker of anger in her eyes as her hands wrap around the soiled bandages and begin tearing them off.
“This is what I am Connor, pain and anguish. Suffering. This is all I have been since I was nine.”

The bloodied stitched cuts nearly make my heart stop, but what really pulls my gaze are the scars. The cuts that were there before. Some are jagged and pale, and some are just thin pale lines. But they are all old. The only new ones are the ones she did in my bathroom. I keep my face as straight as possible, trying not to let my worry show, as I take her arms gently in my hands.

It starts as a hiccup, and when I look at her out of the corner of my eye, she is crying. As I slowly wrap a fresh bandage around her arms, she finally gives in, and her head slumps forward to rest against my shoulder. I wrap her arms in silence. I don’t know what could be painful enough to cause that. I just don’t know enough about Henley or her situation, and I know if I ask her right now she still wont tell me.

I move my hand slowly, not wanting to startle her, and begin stroking her hair. Its a wild mess of curls and tangles. I work my way past her hair until my fingertips are stroking gently against her cheek and jaw. Her green eyes flick up to meet my gaze, and there is a depth of pain there that hits me like a punch to the gut. Her guardedness is gone in that moment, but I can see her fighting to pull on that smirk that she always hides behind.

“Don’t. Don’t fake it. Just… be you Henley. Be how you feel in this moment. That’s all I want. Don’t bluff with me.”

The tip of her mouth which she had managed to pull into an almost smirk falls instantly, as she lets out a long sigh. She leans into me, resting her head against the crook of my neck, and I can feel her body trembling as my hand continues to stroke against her.

“I used to be… really bad… for myself and for others. That’s why I decided to get my first tattoo.” Her hand runs up to her hairline behind her ear, and I remember that’s where the bio hazard tattoo is. “It was a little bit later that I met Nora. She wasn’t a therapist yet… but we really clicked… it was the first time I spoke in two years, and not just about my problems, it was the first time I spoke about anything. I remember momma cryin’ and cryin’ she didn’t think I could speak anymore.” As her tale goes further, her southern accent starts to show itself little by little. It’s a shame she hides it. I continue stroking against her shoulder, every now and then twisting some of her around my fingers.

“
I was really depressin’. Depressin’ myself, and depressin’ everyone else,” she said with a bitter laugh. “Nora she looked at me one day and she said ‘you know what they say! Fake it ‘till you make it.’ So I did. I put on a smile even when I wasn’t happy. I chatted with people, when I really wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves. And you know what?” she said as she leaned back looking at me curiously.

“
Nope no clue,” I reply with a smile, watching her too green eyes light up for a small flicker of time, as a very tiny, very honest smile tugged at the corner of her lips. It was honest, and not just an attempted bluff, which meant more to me than she could ever know, so I pulled her closer toward me, and of her own volition she crawled into my lap leaning against me. I felt like king of the fucking mountain. I wanted to hoot and holler, but instead I simply kept that selfsame smile on hoping she would open up even more.

“
After that, they let me out of the hospital. That’s when I got my second tattoo.”

“
Fake it ‘till you make it?”

“
Yep.” She replied softly against my chest. “And I did. I faked it. I bluffed my way through everything. Pretended I had the confidence. Then I realized I was really strong enough to do this. I was strong enough. That’s when I got the lion. I hadn’t cut in years. Things were looking up. That’s when Nora came up with another one of her stupid schemes. She’s always doing that. Things to get me out of my shell she says. A book signing this time. It went really well.”

Somehow I knew she was talking about the day she met me. The day Gwen brought her back to our table. It made me nervous, to finally figure out what kind of exchange that was to Henley.

“Then Gwen came up and asked me to sit with her. I wanted to say no… I was exhausted, and my nerves were beginning to fray on the edges. But her eyes were so earnest, so bright. So I followed her over and there you were…”