Torn (Torn Heart) (2 page)

H
er flirty smile is the shit dreams are made of, if you like a girl with a shit-ton of makeup plastered to her face. I prefer a girl who’s confident with herself and doesn’t need all that shit. She rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, you’ve got self-control. I have faith in you.” I smile back and kiss her briefly, tucking a stray piece of her blonde hair behind her ear. “Besides, I had to come here and tell you how hot you looked on that field today.” I hug her tightly to my body.

She’s very voluptuous
, I’ll give her that. I smirk at her. “You look hot every day.” I briefly kiss her, and then lick my lips, tasting her cherry lip-gloss.

She gets off me and fixes her shirt.
“Let’s get out of here.” I don’t argue, just nod, draping my stinky clothes over my shoulder.

We get up and walk to the door. I open it
for her and we step out into the hall, holding hands. As we round the corner, I don’t pay attention running smack into Skylar. Shit! So much for
not
thinking about her.

I send her crashing to the ground, knocking all of her stuff out of her hands.

Amber grunts an irritated, “watch it, nerd” and kicks her stuff around. I hide my irritation.

Skylar’s
face turns red with embarrassment. She mutters curses under her breath, quickly grabbing her belongings off the floor.

I bend down to
help her, when she looks up at me, I whisper, “Sorry.”

She
looks back in surprise, probably wondering why I’m being nice. It’s not that I’m mean to her, per se. But when Amber’s around, I try to keep distance so she doesn’t get the wrong idea and start getting in her face. She loves to start drama. Amber that is.

“Ugh
, come on, Jackson. We need to go.” Amber’s high pitched shriek makes me wish I was somewhere else. Or
she
was.

After her stuff’s been picked up,
Randa steers Skylar away from us. I scowl at Amber. “I’m gonna go home today. I’ll call you later.”

She pouts her bottom lip, and that’s always been a total buzz kill. She’s not a fucking child, yet she acts like it when I don’t do what she wants. It’s aggravating.
So in this moment, when I don’t relent or bow down to her, she huffs and storms off. I just roll my eyes and walk to the parking lot. Something’s gotta give. I can’t keep living this same nightmare.

Somewhere along the way, things have changed between Amber and
I. She used to be a better girlfriend, or so I thought. Well, really I don’t label us boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m not sure what we are. We’ve always been more physical than anything. We don’t have as much in common as I used to believe. Besides wanting to be popular, I guess. But the important things, I don’t know so much about. Does that make me an ass? It’s not that I’m not attentive, but she’s the closed book. She doesn’t share her secrets with me or her deepest fears or her childhood. I finally quit asking about her life, because if she won’t open up to me, fuck her.

I’m pushed from behind, and almost throw my fists up, bracing for a fight. But then I see Jake cower down, holding his hands up in surrender. “Sorry dude, I thought you saw me coming.”

I relax and pop the tension from my neck, flexing my fingers. “It’s okay. I’m just tense right now.”

He follows me.
“Where are you going?”

I reach my car and throw open the door.
“Home.” I pull out a cigarette and light it. I let my head fall back against the headrest. “You?” I ask, and then my gaze drops to somewhere across the lot. I watch Skylar walk with Randa, laughing. Their back’s turned to me.

Jake leans against the open door, peering at me with curious eyes.
When he sees what caught my attention, he smirks. “You’re such a lovesick puppy.” I look back at him and feign nonchalance, blowing smoke away from him. But thinking it would be funny to blow it
in
his face. “Where’s Amber?”

I toss him a lazy shrug,
“Somewhere pouting, I guess. You know, I don’t give into her every fucking whim; she acts like a two year old. She’ll get over it.” I glance back to where Skylar was moments ago but don’t see her anymore. Ignoring the disappointment, I take another drag.

Nick stalks up behind Jake and they start wrestling. I watch, amused.

That’s when she appears, watching the guys with a look of disdain. “Seriously, y’all are so immature sometimes.” Nick flips her off, my lip tugs upward a tiny bit. Yeah, they don’t like her. No one but Daniel gets along with her. The rest just tolerate her.

I look at Ambe
r, narrowing my eyes. “Don’t be such a bitch to my friends.” I tell her with the right amount of annoyance.

She crosses her arms, frowning.
“Sorry. Now, can you please come over tonight?”

My head drops to the steering wheel as I let out a harsh breath. When I
lift my head to look at her, I say, “No. I’m not having sex with you tonight. Sorry.” I swear she’s such a nympho, which is usually a good thing for guys, in some cases. But she wants it when she wants it and it has to be her way. Screw what I want. I’m sick of this one-sided shit. It’s getting old and fast.

She stands with her hands on her hips and a grimace. “My parents are gone for the night. I just wanted us to have some fun.”

“You always want it your way, Amber. When are you gonna wake the fuck up and know that you’re not the only one with needs? Jesus Christ!”

Jake stops wrestling with Nick and says, “Yeah and he’s got plans with me tonight.”
He throws a wink my way, jokingly.

Nick wrinkles his nose in distaste
. “You’re so gay, Jake.” Then he pretends to throw him down on the ground. They’re throwing curses at each other in macho-guy fashion.

I shake my head, almost forgetting Amber’s still glaring at me. “Look, I’m going home. Think about what I just said. Maybe I’ll come over tomorrow.” That’s a big maybe, knowing she doesn’t change her ways
very easily. I get up to close my door, rolling my windows down. I yell at them, “I’m leaving. Go fight somewhere else, before I run your asses over.” Jake and Nick both move out of the way. I back out of the space and peer at them, “Sorry Jake, we’ll have to take a rain check on our “date”.” I laugh as I leave the parking lot.

Finally feeling a little better, I crank up the music and cruise on home. Tomorrow’s a new day, it better be a fucking better one too. I smoke another cigarette before I reach the driveway.

Amber has always been jealous of Sky. In some ways I can see why. First off, she lives two streets down from me. We’ve been best friends since we were babies, practically. Skylar was always the trusting kind, the one I could count on in every way. I didn’t confide in Amber because she’s so judgmental and insensitive. But since I don’t know much about her life, maybe she has a reason. Still, if she feels she can’t trust me enough to talk to me, then obviously she’s not the one I should be with. However, on that note, I’m not ready to confront my emotions. I’m afraid to let Skylar in and hurting her, or vise versa.

However, in the physical sense,
Amber is everything a guy could want in a girl, besides being a cheerleader. She’s hot and good at everything she does. And I mean everything. But again, so is Skylar. Okay, so I don’t know that she’s good at
everything
. I imagine she’d be good at
that
too, though
.
But where it counts the most, she’s pretty amazing. How do you fall in love with your best friend?

S
he gets all of her amazing qualities from her mother. Rose dated my dad in high school and once in college. Then something happened there and he met and married my mom, but she left him, my brother and me for one of her young college professors. Skylar’s dad passed away and my dad and Rose became closer. We were both left parentless. I guess that’s why Amber freaks out when Skylar’s around. We were inseparable most of our life. And in many ways, I wish we still were. I need someone I can trust to talk to.

It’s better this way, though.
I have to believe that. What if I let her in and she ends up leaving me, the same way my mom left my dad? I couldn’t handle the pain of abandonment, again. I know Skylar’s not like that, but that doubt is still there in the back of my mind like a fucking parasite and I can’t get rid of it. With Amber, it’s not that serious. I don’t see a future with her. It’s easier for me to let myself be with someone when I know it won’t really go anywhere. Then I can’t get hurt if I don’t expect too much.

When I get out of the car, I see Skylar and Jared on the porch. I contemplate joining them. But something in her eyes tells me I should leave. So I do.

I hear Jared’s voice call to me as I open the door. “Hey bro how was school today?”

I turn to him and say, “Fine.” A quick glance in her direction, I say, “Hi Skylar.” She tries to smile and gives
me a small wave.

I
head upstairs and walk into my room, shutting the door. I plop down onto my bed and flip the TV on. A knock on the door startles me. Before I can answer it, it slowly opens and a head pops in.

Brunette h
air flowing over a petite girl I’d know anywhere has me staring like an idiot. “Hey Jackson. I’m sorry for running into you today. I’m such a klutz and wasn’t paying attention.” I just stare at her, uncertain what to say. Her hair is such a distraction, long and beautiful and silky and...I look away.

I lean
my head against the headboard, my attention on the screen, my mind somewhere else. “It wasn’t your fault. I had a rough day during practice. I was a little irritable.” I look at her, out of one corner of my eye, I say, “I’m sorry for Amber’s attitude.”

She leans against my desk, looking so fragile. “Well, it shouldn’t surprise me. She’s never liked me.”

I nod, “So true. It’s more that she feels threatened by you.”

Her eyes widen in shock, “Me? Why?”

Well shit, I shouldn’t have opened that door. I casually flip through the channels, my palm sweating, though having nothing to do with the temperature in the room. “She just knows of our history and she’s jealous of us living so close.”
And the fact that I’d rather be with you than her because she’s doesn’t make me happy anymore,
I don’t say, which of course Amber doesn’t know that part either. I think she uses me too, for popularity.

“Well, tell her she’s got nothing to worry about. You’re secure and happy in your relationship with her. So she can stop torturing me.” I watch her; her eyes filled with something like sadness, her mouth tugged down in a frown. If she only knew the truth, would she feel the same way? She straightens and reaches for the door, “Bye Jackson.” She quietly shuts my door and I’m left feeling alone and confused.

Chapter 3

Skylar

I walk back outside and sit on the porch swing beside Jared. I needed to get out of there, out of Jackson’s room. It hurts to see how Amber treats him and yet, he lets her. It’s almost as if he doesn’t believe he deserves better. Does he really like being treated like crap?

Jared notices my change in demeanor and looks at me in concern. “Is everything okay?”

I shake my head. “Why does Jackson put up with Amber? She’s so mean to him. She treats him like a dog. Is that what guys like? I don’t remember him enjoying that kind of treatment before.” And I remember everything about him, everything that counts.

He looks at me with a raised brow. “I’m not sure why he takes her crap
. And no, guys with self-respect don’t put up with their girlfriends treating them like a doormat. They’ll kick them to the curb in a quick flash.” I snort and look down at my nails like I have a hang nail or something, just to avoid Jared’s gaze. He hasn’t always been that way, that’s what bothers me. I know Jackson, inside and out. What’s changed?

He chuckles and I look up at him. “What? What could possibly be funny? Please enlighten me, oh so wise Jared.” I try to glare at him
, but I suck at being mad.

“You’re just adorable
when you’re brooding.”

I shrug
, crossing my arms. “I’m not brooding, I’m just confused. She’s got him on a tight leash.”

He stops the swing and puts his hand on my knee. I look over at him, into his dark brown eyes. “Sky,
why does it bother you so much? Wait-” His brows go up and his face changes as if he’s just thought of something insane. “You’ve got a crush on my brother, don’t you? Is that what this is about?” My cheeks flame and it’s impossible to hide it at this point. But if Jared hadn’t seen this coming all along, he’s obviously been blind. I’ve always loved Jackson. He was my best friend. We had everything in common. We shared everything. We loved the same things, and what the other didn’t like, we compromised. That’s how our friendship worked.

But somewhere along the way, our friendship changed. I was aware of the attraction we had, and I started to get nervous around him. I had these crazy butterfly sensations going on
in my chest when he’d look at me a certain way. But I never voiced my feelings. I didn’t want it to change us and our easygoing connection.