Touch Slowly (Red Light: Silver Girls series) (26 page)

The cords on her neck constricted and she worked her lips in worry. He brought his gaze up to her eyes and forgot what he planned to say. She carried a world of emotions in those hazel eyes, and she could no longer hide behind attitude, lies, and anger.

Nothing mattered, except she was within reach of him. He could touch her if he raised his hand. He could grab her if she walked away.

He pushed his ball cap higher on his forehead. "I thought maybe you'd go for a ride with me. I'd like for you to hear what I have to say and I thought it'd be nice to get away from the park where you can listen without everyone staring at us."

"I don't think we have anything more to discuss."

He inhaled swiftly. "Yeah, we do."

She rocked back on the heels of her bare feet. "Let me get my shoes on."

He walked off the landing and down the steps. The sweat dried on his forehead as he waited. Finally, she came outside. He stepped out of the way, put his hand on her lower back, and led her to the 'Cuda.

"Hey, where are you two going?" shouted Kirkland.

Emmett ignored the question and opened Nova's door. One touch, one slow fucking touch, and he knew without a doubt he made the right decision.

He got in the car and drove out of the park. Two miles away, he stopped in the gravel spot where the Silver Express van made stops during the day. He shut off the engine. The security light for the area provided enough light to view the fear in her.

Her fingers fiddled with the strings at the edge of the hole in the knee of her jeans. Her gaze stayed down in her lap. He couldn’t be sure, but either she breathed heavy inside the car, or he had his own problems catching his breath through his tight chest.

"Thanks for coming with me." He let his hands fall to his lap. The space. The time. Even the night settled over him and made him uncomfortable. "This feels wrong."

She clasped her hands together. "What is it?"

"Come outside with me." He opened the door.

She met him in the front of the car. He grabbed her hand and walked her through the gravel to the first large boulder lining the miners' memorial statue. Without asking, he lifted her by the waist and sat her down on top of the rock.

The lighting on the statue gave him a view of her face. He calmed.

"That's better." He brushed her hair back off of her cheeks. "Missed seeing those eyes on me."

"Emmett..." She looked away.

"I need to talk to you." He brought her face back to him. "The night you told me the truth, about everything, I left you because all I could think about was killing every single man who had ever put his hands on you and I was angry that you'd shut me out of that part of your life and kept me from loving you completely. I did
not
walk away from you because of you being a prostitute. I want to make that clear. I needed space because I didn't trust myself around you with all the anger I was feeling."

"It doesn't matter, Emmett. I can't take back the truth." She gazed up at the darkened sky, exhaling a large breath before focusing on him. "I've thought and thought about how I can fix everything, and the truth is I can't take away your anger. No matter how hard I try or how good I act or how much I love you, you will always have the knowledge that I was a prostitute. There's nothing I can do to help you forget. It's there. It'll never go away."

He dipped his knees putting his gaze level with her eyes. "Three bottles of whiskey and a bitch of a round with three transmissions at the store, plus wishing you were with me every fucking second of the day took care of my anger, Nova-girl. I can't tell you that I don't think about it when I try my damnedest to come up with a way to change the past for your sake. But I had no right to judge you for what you did before meeting me. I don't like that you continued working after we'd met and you had already told me you'd fallen in love with me."

"I lied to you."

He planted his hands on the rock, keeping her there, needing her to not only listen but to believe what he was telling her. "You did, and I'll be honest with you. I don't think I've ever hurt as much as I have this last week, but that's on my conscious. The whole time we spent together, I failed to show you that you can trust me. That no matter what you tell me, I can handle it for the both of us. That's my job, not yours."

She closed her eyes. "You're not real."

"Look at me, Nova."

She blinked, and her eyes swam with unshed tears. He held her face with both of his hands. "What's real is I love you. I'm never going to leave you. We're both going to fuck up from time to time. You're going to irritate the shit out of me. I know there will be days where you wish you never met me. But, each night, I'm going to take you by the hand and take you to bed and hold you all night, because you know what scares me?"

"What?" she said, her voice breaking.

"Not having you in my life," he whispered. "I'm not letting you get away. We will work through our problems together and if you can't handle that, then tell me now because I can't take another day away from you and I can't see you every day knowing you're not mine."

She stared into his eyes without saying a word. His gut, already tight, hardened more the longer she remained silent. He'd laid everything out in the open.

"I need to..." She pulled against his hold, and he refused to let her move away. "I need to talk to you about a few things, and then I'll be glad to never bring up the subject again."

"Tell me."

"There's a difference between sex and love." She moistened her lips. "What I had with you was love. It
is
love, and love was never something I even wanted after my mom left. I never came here expecting to meet you or rearrange my whole life for one person. Shayla and Nick are my family and yet I don't have the need to be with them every single day the way I do you."

"Do you still love me?" He dipped his knees again and held her gaze. Everything relied on her still loving him, because there was no doubt that she owned him. Regardless of what they'd go through in the future and how both of their lives panned out, she was part of him.

"Of course, I do." She laid her hand over his hand on her face. "I feel like I'm killing you by loving you, and I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm okay." He leaned in and pressed his lips against her forehead. "That's all I needed to know, Nova-girl, cause if love hurts, I want to keep feeling everything you give me. I want you. I want us."

"No one has ever said that to me before," she whispered.

"I'm going to be saying lots of things to you until you understand I'm not leaving." He lowered his voice. "I'm not leaving."

She closed her eyes a few seconds and opened them. "Do you know why I signed up with the Network?"

He shook his head. It took everything in him to stand there and hear her out, knowing what she told him was important and hating what she'd gone through.

"They promised me traveling, Emmett. I could go all over the United States," she whispered. "I knew my mom was out there, somewhere."

The base of his skull pounded. "You went looking for her?"

"I think I did." She inhaled deeply. "At the time, I only wanted a new life that promised better things. But, I found myself looking for her in every city. I remember spending hours looking out a window searching the street for a familiar face."

"You never found her," he said, finishing for her.

"No." She shrugged, and sadness filled her eyes. "I realized after a year of losing faith that she'd somehow stumble in front of me at an airport, or I'd see her on the sidewalk that I no longer had a reason to find her. I couldn't go up to her and show her how I'd beat the odds or how successful I'd become or even how much money I had, which is what I really wanted to do. I wanted to show her that even without her in my life, I kept living and moved on without her help. But, the truth is I'm a prostitute. That's not exactly something to be proud of, and when I realized I no longer wanted to find her, I let her go. I no longer hold her to her promise to come back to me."

"You
were
a prostitute."

"Yeah." She smiled softly. "It's in my past."

"I don't want to start over. We're going to pick up right where we left off." He cupped her face. "I want you."

"I want you, too." She sniffed, holding on to his wrist, determined and making sure he went nowhere. "You need to know there's a doctor's report on my health in my purse, and I want you to have it. I also want you to know that when we do have sex—and I want that more than you can even imagine—it would never, ever, be the same as what I've done in the past. I need you to believe me, and I know with all the lies, you might not—"

"I believe you." He leaned in and kissed her trembling lips. "You wanted slow. I gave you slow. You want me now? I'll give you me."

"I do." Her hands came up to cradle his face. "Is this really happening?"

"Believe it, Nova-girl." He brought her closer and ran his lips softly over hers. "I'll prove it once we get back to the trailer, yeah?"

"Yes," she whispered.

E
mmett lifted Nova's face, and she kissed him. Soft, hesitant, warm.

He slanted his head and took the kiss deeper. She had no time to think about stopping or that all the way back to Emmett's trailer, he'd told her that anything was possible because they loved each other. What she'd heard meant something completely different to her.

Emmett led, and she willingly followed. He'd taken her fear and stomped it into the ground and stayed. He never left her. He came back, bigger, better, and loving her more. The way she always dreamed.

He ended the kiss on her lips and moved down to her neck.

She trailed her hand up his solid sides, luxuriating in the heat rolling off him. The moment they stepped into the bedroom, Emmett had taken off both their clothes before she could think. The sight of his hard, sculpted body, bare and sexy, gave her something to concentrate on and take her mind off her past.

The situation totally controlled by Emmett, she submitted believing he would take care of her.

He was different than other men.

Most of all, she was naked, and he was naked.

Maybe she wouldn't even allow him to get dressed when they were together. He could walk around naked. For her. With her.

At his mercy, the excitement of not knowing what he was going to do or say kept her focused and anticipating his next move.

Emmett kissed his way from her throat, down her chest, between her breasts, and hovered before lifting her off his feet. She landed on the bed softly and looked down her body to latch on to his gaze, which was locked on her. His arousal gave him a sleepy look, full of warmth and desire.

"Don't move," he said with a growl.

He kissed her stomach once more before rolling off her and stepping toward the dresser. His firm ass a delight to watch, her nipples constricted sending a chill over her naked flesh. The exhilaration she received came to her like an old friend. One she'd lost contact with over the years. One she thought about calling and never had. One she missed more than she could admit.

Emmett came back to the bed. Her gaze went down his broad chest to his hands opening a condom and flashed back to his face. He'd ducked his chin and rolled the latex over his hardness. The force of his concentration pulsed in the vein running down the side of his forehead.

Then he was looking at her with that same intensity as he came forward and put his knee on the mattress, his weight between her legs, his elbows planted on each side of her, and his mouth captured hers.

She opened her lips, and his tongue thrust inside.

If she died from pleasure, she'd miss his kisses the most.

She only had time for that one thought when his mouth left a scorching path down to her breast and encased her nipple with his lips.

She'd miss that, too.

Emmett rolled his tongue around her nipple, drawing a buck through her body when he nipped the hardened nub with his teeth and lightly pulled.

Her soft breath sped up, and she squirmed on the bed. He wasn't even inside her yet, and warmth gathered low in her stomach and between her legs from his hard cock pulsating against her inner thigh.

He scooted down her body again, hooking his hand under her knee and placing it on his broad shoulder and repeating the action with her other leg until her legs were up in the air and her thighs were hugging his ears. She raised her head and gasped at the wet, heat of his tongue swiped her pussy.

Her head fell back on the mattress, and she stared up at the ceiling. God, she couldn't die, because what he was doing to her broke all the rules ever created and she wanted to rebel for the rest of her life.

Her eyes closed and she dug her heels into his back. The muscles in her thighs quivered with each stroke of his tongue. She undulated her hips against his mouth and panted through the heightened arousal. Oh my God, what Emmett could do with his tongue.

Then, his arm wrapped around the top of her thigh and his big, rough hand landed flat on her belly, holding her in place. He sucked, circled, nibbled, and groaned. The added vibration sent ripples straight to her breasts.

She reached down her body, slid her fingers along his rough cheek, and said, "Emmett." Just because she wanted to say his name. He was here with her. He'd stayed.

Emmett raised his head, wiped his face on his bicep, and scooted back up her body with his elbows planted on each side of her. He held her head with his hands. "Nova?"

"Yes?" she whispered, hooking her leg around the back of his knee.

"I want you to look at me." He caressed her cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. "I'm going to slide my cock inside you, and I want you to know it's me fucking you."

"Emmett..." Her chest squeezed.

Everything about tonight was different for her. He would never know that he was the only man she wanted and the only man who could make her feel wonderful.

"Love you, Nova-girl."

She lifted her head and kissed his lips. "Love you, too."