Tower of Glass (15 page)

The poetess, lean and intense, with an elegant reedy voice, said, “Fileclerk held a press conference last night at AEP headquarters. He insisted that the killing of Alpha Nucleus was a politically motivated act carried out at the instigation of——” She could barely say it. “—Krug.”

“Slime of the Vat,” Watchman muttered. “I begged him not to do that! Fileclerk and I stood talking in the snow half an hour, and I told him—I told him—” He knotted his fingers. “Was there a statement from Krug?”

“A denial,” said Mazda Constructor, who for four years had with Watchman’s surreptitious aid been secretly compiling the annals of the androids from Krug’s dead-storage date file. “An immediate response. The killing was called accidental.”

“Who spoke for Krug?” Watchman asked.

“A lawyer. Fearon, the Senator’s brother.”

“Not Spaulding, eh? Still in shock, I guess. Well, so Fileclerk’s been spewing filth. What of it?”

Softly Pontifex Dispatcher said, “At this moment, chapels everywhere are crowded as your brothers and sisters gather to discuss the implications of the killing, Thor. The theological resonances are so terribly complex. If Krug indeed did give the order for the ending of Cassandra Nucleus’ life, did he do so in order to show His displeasure over the activities of the Android Equality Party? That is, does He prefer our way to theirs? Or, on the other hand, did He take her life to register His disapproval of the ultimate goals of the AEP—which of course are roughly the same as our own? If the former, our faith is justified. But if the latter, you see, then possibly we have been given a sign that Krug totally rejects the concept of android equality. And then there is no hope for us.”

“A bleak prospect,” croaked Krishna Guardsman, whose teachings on the relationship of Krug to android were revered by all. “However, I take comfort in the thought that if Krug struck Alpha Nucleus down to show His dislike of the equality movement, He did so merely to oppose political agitation for equality
now,
and was in effect reminding us to be more patient and await His grace. But—”

“We should also consider a much darker possibility,” said Mazda Constructor. “Is Krug capable of evil? Was His role in the killing a wicked one? If so, then perhaps the entire foundation of our creed must be reexamined and even rebuilt, for if Krug can act arbitrarily and immorally, then it follows—”

“Wait! Wait!” called an uneasy voice from the rear of the group. “No such talk as this in a chapel!”

“I speak only figuratively,” Mazda Constructor said, “with no blasphemies intended. We are trying to show Alpha Watchman the range of reactions now being demonstrated around the world. Certainly many of us fear that Fileclerk’s charges are correct—that Alpha Nucleus was put to death for her political views—and that has led to a consideration of the possibility that Krug has acted improperly. It is being discussed in many chapels at this very moment.”

“I think we have to believe,” said Krishna Guardsman, “that all acts of Krug are by definition good acts, leading us toward our ultimate redemption. Our problem here is not to justify Krug’s deeds but simply to quiet the unhappy suspicions of Krug’s motives that this Fileclerk, who is not even a member of our communion, has stirred up in those that are. We—”

“It was a sign from Krug! It was a sign!”

“The Vat giveth, and the Vat taketh away!”

“Fileclerk said that Krug showed no remorse whatever. He—”

“—sent for the lawyers. A civil action—”

“—property damage. A tort—”

“—another test of our faith——”

“—she was our enemy, in any case—”

“—killing one of His children to warn the rest of us? That makes Him a monster!”

“—in the fire of His crucible are we smelted—”

“—revealing an unsuspected capacity for murderous—”

“—sanctity—”

“—redemption—”

“—blood—”

“Listen to me,” Thor Watchman cried, amazed and impatient. “Please. Please listen!”

“Let him speak,” Mazda Constructor said. “Of all of us, he
is
closest to Krug. His words have weight.”

“I was there,” said Watchman. “I saw the whole thing. Before you destroy yourselves with conflicting theologies,
listen.
Krug bears no responsibility for the killing. Spaulding, the secretary, the ectogene, acted on his own. There is no other truth but this.” In a cataract of words he told of Spaulding’s blustering attempt to force his way into the construction-site chapel, of the ectogene’s rising tension in the face of the resistance of the chapel’s guards, of his own ruse to draw Spaulding away from the chapel, of the unhappy result when Spaulding-discovered Krug beset by the AEP agents.

“This is deeply reassuring,” said Mazda Constructor when Watchman was done. “We have been misled by Fileclerk’s accusations. This is not an issue of Krug’s actions at all.”

“Except in the deeper sense that Krug must have constructed the entire sequence of events,” Krishna Guardsman suggested.

“Can you seriously maintain that His will underlies even the secular events of—” Pontifex Dispatcher began.

Mazda Constructor cut him off. “We can debate the intricacies of His will another time. At present our task is to communicate with all other chapels, to transmit Thor’s account of the events. Our people everywhere are in unrest; we must calm them. Thor, will you dictate your statement so that it can be coded and transmitted?”

“Certainly.”

Andromeda Quark handed him a message cube. Watchman repeated the story, after first identifying himself, explaining his relation to Krug, and swearing to the authenticity of his version of the events. A terrible fatigue hammered at him from within. How eager these brilliant alphas were, he thought, to engulf everything in a mist of theological disquisition! And how quick to accept Fileclerk’s lies. In thousands of chapels just now, hundreds of thousands of devout androids were agonizing over the question of why Krug had allowed an alpha to be shot to death in His arms, whereas if they had merely waited to learn the truth from someone who had been present—

Well, it was not too late to undo the harm. No one’s faith in Krug need be shaken by what had occurred.

Andromeda Quark and another female, both members of the Projector caste, were already at work coding the beginning of Watchman’s statement for transmission over the broad-band network that linked every chapel to every other one. Watchman remained long enough to hear the first few phrases of his coded statement go forth:

UAA GCG UCG UAA GGG. GGC GGU AAG AAU UAA UAA CUG. CAA CAU AGG CGG GGC GAC ACA ACC ACC CUC—

“May I go?” he said.

Pontifex Dispatcher gave him the sign of the Blessing of the Vat. Watchman returned it, and, aching, departed.

17

 
I am Nick Ssu-ma Lloyd Tennyson Cadge Foster Will Mishima Jed Guilbert and maybe Manuel Krug, maybe. Maybe. A week in the shunt room. You come out, you don’t even know who you are. Manuel Mishima? Cadge Krug? Anyway you can’t be sure. Walk like Lloyd, laugh like Nick, shrug like Will. So on and so on. Everything a blur, a lovely golden haze, sunrise on the desert, like that. Their heads inside your head. Yours inside theirs. Only a week. Maybe that’s why I like it so much. To stop being only me for a while. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Open the box. Jump out. Into them.

Full of funny ideas, now.

Bouncing in the stasis net for 168 hours.
Twang
and they split you open and you jump out and look for a place to land, and you land
blong
and you’re Nick Ssu-ma, eating roast dog on Taiwan. At dawn in the fog with your aunt. Both naked. She says, touch me here, you do, she laughs, you shiver. Touch me again. Now you laugh, she shivers. Tiny breasts, like Clissa’s. This is our wedding night. With this ring I you do wed, Mrs. Ermine Tennyson, silken thighs, mole in small of back. He sleeps with an android, did you know that? Imagine Manuel doing that. He loves her, so he says. Look. Look here, he loves her, it’s right here. You find your love where you can find it. An
android?
Well, at least he’s not ashamed, or he wouldn’t be in here shunting with us. An android. I almost had one once, but I couldn’t. At the last moment. What does it feel going into one? Just like anyone else. They aren’t plastic, you know. Even though there isn’t any hair on it. Sort of incest, though. How? Well, Manuel’s father makes the androids, doesn’t he, so in a way she’s his sister. Very clever. Very
very
clever. Cruel bastard. But you
like
doing it? Of course I do. I’ll show you. Here. Here. Shunt and see.

And he jumps across the net and slides into the slot. Who is he? Jed Ssu-ma? Will Tennyson? We are all one. Prowling my memories of Lilith. I don’t mind. How can I want to keep secrets? My friends. My true friends.

When I was nine years old I Cadge Foster took a toad and cooked it and ate it

When I was thirteen years old I Will Mishima pissed on the transmat floor because I was scared I wouldn’t get there

I Lloyd Tennyson put my finger in my sister’s thing she eleven I eight

Jed Guilbert fourteen years old pushed a gamma off a loading rack fell eighty meters died squashed I told my father he slipped

I was ten Nick Ssu-ma saw a male beta at the back window said to mother he watched you and father in bed my father just smiled my mother had them kill him

I Manuel Krug almost thirty years old deceive my wife Clissa with Alpha Lilith Meson whom I love whom I love whom I love of Stockholm she lives on Birger Jarlsgaten Alpha Lilith Meson with breasts and thighs and teeth and elbows with rosy skin whom I love whom I love whom I love no hair on it at all Lilith

And we shunt and shunt and shunt we hang dangling in the stasis net looping easily from mind to mind, floating, changing skulls as often as we please even though it runs up the charges, and I taste Cadge’s toad and I wet Will’s transmat and I smell Lloyd’s sister on my finger and I kill Jed’s gamma and I lie about Nick’s beta and all of them go to bed with Lilith and they tell me afterward, yes, yes, we really ought to investigate these alpha women, you’re a lucky bastard, Manuel, a lucky lucky lucky bastard

And I love her

Whom I love

And I see all the little hates and dirtinesses in their souls, my friends, but I see the strengths too, the good things, for it would be awful if we shunted and saw only the cooked toads and the puddles on the transmat floor. I see secret favors and modesties and loyalties and charities. I see how good my friends really are and I worry and I wonder, what do they see in me, maybe they’ll hate me when we come out of this.

We shunt some more. We see what they see in us what we see in us in them.

A week is used up so fast!

Poor Manuel, they say, I never knew it was so bad for him. With all that money and he still feels guilty because he’s got nothing to do with his life. Find a cause, Manuel. Find a cause. Find a cause. I tell them I’m trying. I’m looking.

They say what about the androids?

Should I? What would my father say? If he doesn’t approve.

Don’t worry about him. Do what you think is right. Clissa is in favor of equal rights for androids. If he blows up, let Clissa talk to him before you do. Why should he blow up? He’s made his pile out of androids, now he can afford to let them vote. I bet they’d vote for him. You know all the androids are in love with your father? Yes. Sometimes I think it must be almost like a religion with them. The religion of Krug. Well it makes a sort of sense to worship your creator. Don’t laugh. But I have to laugh. It’s crazy androids bowing down to my father. To idols of him, I bet?

You’re getting off the track, Manuel. If it worries you that you aren’t doing anything important, become a crusader. Equal rights for androids. Up the androids! You bet, up the androids! That’s unworthy of you. You’re probably right

We hear the gongs and we know our time is up.

We drop out of the net. We slide into our own heads. I’m told they do this part very, very, very carefully, getting everybody into his own head.

As far as I know I am Manuel Krug.

They ease us out. There is a re-adaptation chamber on the far side of the net. We sit around for three, four hours, getting used to being individuals again. We look at each other strangely. Mostly we don’t look at each other at all. Someone has been laughing too much with my mouth.

In the re-adaptation chamber, they have more of those new toys, the blunt-edged cubes. Mine sends me a series of messages.

THE TIME IS NOW 0900 HOURS IN KARACHI

IS THIS THE FIRST TIME YOU’VE MET YOURSELF?

YOUR FATHER PROBABLY WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU

ONLY THE TRUE ANSWERS ARE FALSE

THEY HAVE SETTLED THE CASE OUT OF COURT

ONCE WE WERE ALL A GREAT DEAL WISER

The machine bores and frightens me. I hurl it aside. I am almost certain that I am neither Cadge Foster nor Lloyd Tennyson, but I worry about the toad. I will go to Lilith as soon as I leave here. Perhaps I should speak to Clissa first. My father must be at his tower. How is that great erection coming along? Will he soon have messages from the stars to read on the winter nights?