Toxic (19 page)

Before I floated back down to earth, Jeremy stood. “Wrap your arms and legs around me,” he panted into my ear.

As I shifted position, he braced a hand on the partition behind me and then he was inside of me, moving with such primal need I wanted to scream out.

I think I started to yell.

He stopped me with his mouth.

That mouth.

His cock was thrusting inside me.

And I was feeling something I hadn’t felt in so long—utter bliss.

As the rapture started to take root, I felt lost to him. No, maybe not lost, maybe I was finding myself in him.

I didn’t know.

I didn’t care.

Because at that moment, we were both taking in the complete pleasure we were creating as one unit.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he growled over and over.

My body tingled and another orgasm hit me harder than before. He swallowed up my cries of pleasure but soon his own pleasure echoed in the space.

“Phoebe, oh fuck, Phoebe,” he groaned as his cock pulsed inside me and he found his release.

My hold around him tightened as the world stopped for the both of us. He buried his face in my neck and I allowed myself to be absorbed by him. It felt so good. I was soaring. I was flying. I was free.

Sex was sex.

Sex was good.

But sex with someone you have an explosive reaction with takes you to a whole new level of good. My body was shaking, I was breathless, and I was really happy. But at the same time, the warmth that filled me made me apprehensive.

A few moments later Jeremy pulled back. “How is it that when I’m with you, you’re all I see?”

I couldn’t answer him, but I knew exactly what he meant. I felt the same.

“Whatever this is between us, I want to take it as far as we can. I want to take it all the way.”

I ran one hand down his chest. “I want that too.”

Wherever that meant.

My body cartwheeled with a surge of emotion that I knew better than to acknowledge this early into our reunion.

“Promise me, no matter what, you won’t give up. You’ll see us through.”

Was he sensing my apprehension?

I bit my lip. “I promise.”

His mouth captured mine in a frantic kiss, one that felt like he longed to seal the deal.

Breathless, I leaned back. “Is everything okay?”

He set me down. “It is now.”

I looked at him with concern. “What is it?”

Jeremy shook his head. “Nothing.”

It didn’t seem like nothing.

He kissed my concern away. “Come on, let’s get dressed before someone walks in.”

I tugged my dress back up and fixed myself as best as I could. The hole in my hose was irreparable but it was dark and hopefully no one would notice.

Jeremy zipped up his pants. “Spend the night with me,” he said.

Old memories surfaced. How I felt after he’d disappeared. And I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should say no, or if we should go to my apartment instead. After all, five years ago he said the exact same thing to me and once I got to his apartment, I never left.

I couldn’t let that happen. My life was different now. I had responsibilities.

He squeezed my waist. “What is it?”

That unwelcome warmth flooded my chest and I had to push the words out. “I can’t get lost in you again.”

He yanked me to him. “What if I want you to?” he growled.

I knew then—I already was.

Every. Single. Morning.

Soft, luscious lips were licking at me. And I had a sudden awareness that I was wet.

Really wet.

I thrust my hips up and moaned in pleasure.

It felt so good.

The dark fringe of his lashes brushed against my skin just before his eyes lifted to mine as Jeremy rose from beneath the covers. They were bluer than blue. With a wicked grin he said, “Morning.”

“Good morning.” A smile slowly spread across my face as I took him in. I couldn’t help licking my lips at the delicious sight of him. My fingers were itching to touch him and I ran them over his chest and down his flat stomach, both of which were soft and smooth but ripped with strength. His thigh muscles bunched as he knelt above me. He was beautifully erect. Ready for me. And I was more than ready for him. I couldn’t get enough. I felt like I was never going to get enough.

“What do you want to do today,” he said with a smug grin.

I slid my hands around to his ass and purred, “Everything. Nothing. I don’t know.” I was still in a lustful haze.

Last night we’d left the video launch immediately after our tryst in the gaming cubicle. I’d lost Logan long before and texted him in the car that I was leaving. Jeremy had driven there himself and once I conceded to go back to his place, he drove here as fast as he could. I didn’t want to wait to have him again. To taste him. I couldn’t. I was hungry for him. So hungry that I unzipped his jeans and sucked him until the screams of my name echoed in the small interior of the Porsche. I had never felt so powerful as I did then. I’d watched him stiffen under my touch, heard the increased sound of his breathing, and brought him to orgasm at my own speed.

So powerful.

When we arrived at his loft, he’d hoisted me over his shoulder and took me right up to his room. The rest of the night was filled with frenzied fucking. At around midnight we had ordered pizza and ate in his bed.

I’d loved the feeling of being with him, boneless and sated.

It was early now. I could tell because the sun was just rising. He leaned down and kissed me tenderly. His lips felt good against my swollen ones. It wasn’t long though before he gently parted my lips with his tongue and met mine in a deep kiss. “That isn’t very decisive,” he said.

Desire coursed through me.

“Do you taste how sweet you are?” he breathed into my mouth.

I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t speak. I was caught in his web of seduction.

“Do you?” he asked again.

I nodded as his warm breath tantalized my neck and his lips glided down it.

“I didn’t hear you,” he said as he closed his mouth around my nipple.

“Yes,” I called out both answering his question and succumbing to the moment.

He bit down on my breast and the slight pain brought a jolt of desire so deep, so wanton, all I could do was moan in ecstasy. “Do you like it when you taste yourself on me?”

I nodded.

“That’s not an answer,” he taunted. “Tell me you want me to do that again?”

“I do,” I moaned.

“You do, what?”

I looked at him breathlessly.

“Tell me,” he demanded.

Years ago, Jeremy had liked to talk dirty during sex and he really liked it when he got me to do the same. That was one thing that hadn’t changed. In fact, everything felt the same between us, just deeper, stronger, and more intense. The twenty-one-year-olds had aged. For him, that meant an even greater confidence. He always knew what he was doing—now he was even more skilled. But for me, the change was greater. Time had made me aware of what I wanted and I wasn’t shy about asking him for it.

“I want your face between my legs and your tongue on my clit and in my pussy.”

I knew my words excited him when I felt his smile as his tongue dipped into my navel. “Good, because that’s what you’re going to get.”

A thrill ran through me. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more, other than having him inside me.

But then he moved back up my body and collapsed beside me where he proceeded to draw me to his chest. He drew hearts on my back with his fingertips. “As soon as we make a plan for the day that is.”

“You’re evil, pure evil.”

His grin told me he knew he was.

“So what do you want to do? Where should we go?”

For some reason the thought of doing something as normal as planning a fun day out terrified me. I was suddenly feeling more frightened than thrilled. This was real. This was his way of trying to make us about more than just sex. I pushed myself up to look at him. “I’m scared,” I finally admitted.

He raised a brow. “Scared to make plans for the day?”

I shook my head no.

His arms drew me in closer. “Then what?”

I kissed him softly so as to lessen the blow. Then I motioned between us. “This is too much, too fast. We have to slow it down.”

He propped his head on an elbow and stared at me. “Phoebe, talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

There was so much—the fact that he knew me so well. That he spoke to me like he always had. It scared me even more. I sucked in a breath. “It’s just—” I stopped, unable to say what I wanted to say,

Somehow he picked up on my feelings and sat up, taking me with him. Both on our knees, he took my face in his hands. “I know exactly what you’re thinking and I want you to put it out of your head.”

I stared at him.

He stared back and his eyes glittered with honesty as he said, “This time I won’t leave.”

Unable to bear his reaction to what I was about to say, I looked down. “But you did once.”

He lifted my chin. “Never again.”

My body started to tremble. How was it he knew exactly what scared me the most—that he would just up and leave me again.

“I promise. I’m not going anywhere. With you is the only place I want to be,” he reassured me.

I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes. “What if something happens that you don’t like?”

He pulled back. “I’m not the same guy I was then. I was young and immature and didn’t understand the world. I’m different now.”

And he was. I could see it. But for some reason that wasn’t entirely reassuring. I had an uneasiness in me I couldn’t calm. I didn’t know why or what it was. It was just there.

The ringing of my phone jolted my thoughts. “Oh no, Jamie,” I remembered. “What time is it?”

Jeremy reached over to his nightstand. He looked at my screen. “It’s eight fifteen and it’s Jamie,” he said, handing it to me.

“Hello,” I answered.

“Don’t kill me but I have to cancel.” Jamie’s voice was scratchy, uneven.

Jeremy pulled me down to the bed and I rested on his chest. “It’s fine, but is everything okay? You don’t sound well.”

“Let’s just say I did something completely unlike me and I’m trying to figure out what to do about it.”

I circled the dark skin of Jeremy’s nipple as I talked. “Okay, you have my mind working overtime. Care to elaborate?”

He drew in a sharp breath and it sounded like he was inhaling.

“Are you smoking?” I asked incredulously.

“Just a joint or two. I needed to take the edge off.”

I bolted upright. “Okay Jamie, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

Jeremy sat up too.

I covered the phone. “Jamie’s in some kind of trouble.”

Jamie had been clean for five years. There was a time when he lived off blow and a long string of women. But then he almost overdosed that summer we all rented a house together and it was his wake-up call. He still drank, but he hadn’t done drugs, of any kind, since.

I heard a door closing. “Phoebs, I don’t want a lecture.”

“I’m not going to give you one. I’m just worried about you.”

Finally Jamie spoke. “It’s just a joint.”

“Tell me what’s going on,” I insisted.

He heaved a heavy sigh. “Friday night after the benefit, Avery and Theo were going to Provocateur, so I went along with them. Oh, by the way, she wants to get back together with that man of yours in the worst way.”

Back together?

I narrowed my eyes at Jeremy but swallowed back my ire and focused on Jamie. “Go on.”

“Yeah, so I met this Victoria’s Secret model there, and you know how I have a thing for models.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” I said in a clipped tone.

“Well, sometime that night we all got on a chartered flight to Vegas and when I came back last night, I was married to Lindsay, the model.”

“Married!” I almost screamed it. “Are you out of your mind?”

“Not so loud,” he whimpered into the phone.

“You have to go back and get it annulled,” I demanded.

“I know that, Phoebs. The problem is Lindsay doesn’t want to.”

“Is she insane? You just met.”

“She wants to give it a try.” I could hear the smile in his tone and it irked me.

“Did you tell her no? Go find her and tell her no. Do you know where she is?”

Silence.

“Jamie?” I drew out his name.

“Yeah, I know where she is. She’s in my bed right now.”

“Then go wake her up and get yourselves back to Vegas.”

“That’s the thing. I’m not sure I want to either. I’m getting sick of all the parties. All the women. Maybe settling down isn’t a bad thing.”

“Jamie, settling down is great. But with someone you love. Not someone you just met.” I tried to sound logical.

“Have dinner with us this week. Meet her and you’ll see. She’s perfect for me.”

I flopped myself on the bed and noticed Jeremy was intently watching me. “Sure, I’ll have dinner with you both. But you really need to think this through.”

“Yeah, well, my mother rescheduled the family picture for today. Guess she’ll be surprised at the new addition to the family.”

I gasped. “Your mother is going to blow her lid, Jamie. You can’t do that to her. You have to warn her.”

“Nah, I can’t deal with her right now and we have to be there at noon. Speaking of, I really need to get some sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you, Phoebs,” he said.

“Love you too,” I said back and hung up.

Jeremy was sitting on the side of the bed. “What was that about?” he asked, sounding slightly agitated.

I reiterated the entire conversation except for the Avery part.

When I finished he said, “So why are you trying to talk him out of staying married?”

“Because he just met her.”

He shrugged. “Sometimes you just know.”

His back was still to me. Something had created distance between us. He must have sensed my animosity toward him but I wasn’t sure he knew why. I couldn’t hold my jealousy back any longer. “Did you and Avery sleep together?”

Jeremy turned to look at me. His eyes were no longer bright blue. They were dark and cold.

I pulled the sheet up farther as I shivered.

His answer was clipped. “Once.”

I gaped at him as fury blasted through my entire body. “And you didn’t think to tell me that any of the times her name came up?”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why would I tell you that?”

“Because you still see her. Because she still wants you and she’s not shy about telling anyone either.”

He shrugged. “She knew what it was. I made it clear I wasn’t interested in anything further.”

I didn’t know what to say. He sounded so cold. “And it doesn’t bother you that she still has hope for the two of you?”

“No. There was never anything between us.”

“Well, you slept with her.”

“Once,” he reiterated. “Look, she just wants someone on her arm to be photographed with for Page Six. Our relationship started as a business one and as far as I’m concerned that’s the way it will remain. She knows that. She’s not under any illusions. Trust me.”

I stood up, dragging the sheet with me as I picked up my clothes that were strewn across the floor.

He pulled on his boxers. “It isn’t any different than you still seeing Dawson. And I didn’t ask you if you fucked him.”

“I was engaged to him! Of course we slept together.”

He grabbed his jeans and headed toward his bedroom door. “Yeah, I’m well aware.”

“Jeremy, let’s talk about this.”

He put a hand up. “Not right now. I’m still trying to get over you telling some other guy you love him while I’m in the fucking room.”

He didn’t give me a chance to explain. He walked out the door and slammed it behind him.

I couldn’t help but stare at the closed door. Jealousy was going to tear us apart. I knew it in that moment. I just didn’t know how either of us could stop feeling the way we did long enough to keep it from happening.

His T-shirt was at my feet and I picked it up and pulled it over my head. It smelled like him. My gut twisted. I wanted this to work.

I stood there trying to figure how it ever could when the door opened.

His long strides had him standing before me so quickly that I could barely blink. “Look, I don’t want to argue with you. I didn’t tell you about Avery and me because I knew once I did, you’d think there was something between us. Even before last Saturday night, she and I were nothing more than business associates. What happened between us took place during one of her and her brother’s excursions. There were at least a dozen of us squeezed into one limo from here to the Hamptons and things got a little wild.”

This time I put a hand up. I didn’t want to hear the details. The thought of Jeremy with anyone else, doing the things he did to me last night was hard enough to bear. But the thought of him with her sickened me.

Avery Lake was one of those women you knew better than to ever trust. Years ago she went after Jamie with a vengeance. He wasn’t interested in her though. She was also Dawson’s girlfriend before I was and when Dawson and I started dating, she didn’t take it very well. She continued to have lunch with his mother, show up at his apartment whenever she wanted, and just as she was doing with Jeremy now, trying to be photographed with him at whatever event we were attending—stirring up rumors of a breakup.

I didn’t want to go through that again.

Jeremy took my hands and laced his fingers with mine.

I looked up at him. The tenderness was back in his features.