Tragic Desires (24 page)

He gives me a firm squeeze back. “Then we keep going forward until we do find something.”

We get inside and sitting on the floor in the middle of the unit is another metal box, just like the one we found at my house.
As I examine the box, I notice a fine arrow that has been crudely gouged into it. If you didn’t look closely, you’d miss it altogether.

“
Hey, check this out,” I say.

“Interesting,” Drex says.

“This is weird.” I walk to the wall and stand there, hoping something will jump out.

Drex is on one side of me and Huff is on the other. “Huff, what do you think the
layout of this building is?” Drex asks.

“More units on the back of this
one. Why?”

“My thoughts too. You think maybe she has the unit behind this one in a different name?”

“I’ll go check.”

Huff leaves
and Drex starts tapping on the wall. “This sounds hollow but the walls in these places are ultra thin.”

My head tilts as I follow the wall
to the ceiling, opened to metal rafters. “Hey, how’s your back feel?”

“Still sore. Why
?”

“I want to look up there, but let’s wait until Huff gets back.”

“I can do it.”

“No. That’s unnecessary stress. Besides, I’d rather you save your strength for other things.”

He barks out a laugh. “Oh, you would, would you?”

“
Mmm, yeah.”

Then he
gives me a burning look and desire uncoils within me as I feel myself become damp with it.

“Stop it now.”

“Stop what?” He feigns innocence.

“You know damn well what.”

“If we’re fast …”

“No! And we’re
never fast. Jeez, Drex.”

“Okay. So should we open the box?”

“We don’t have a key here.” Now it’s difficult for me to concentrate. I’m too sexed up.

Thankfully,
Huff walks back in then and says, “The unit behind this one has been vacant for almost a year.”

“Huff, put me on your shoulders.”

“Huh?”

“We think there may be something
hidden up there. I don’t want Drex to do it with his healing injury.”

Huff bends down. Drex watches us with narrowed eyes. Jealous much
?

Once I’m up there, I see
only the aluminum ceiling rafters and tons of dust.

“I don’t think there’s anything up here.”

“Babe, don’t look for the obvious. Run your hand along those rafters. Remember, your mom was clever. She wouldn’t want anything to jump out at you.”

I move my hands as far as I can
. “Can you walk over a little to the right?”

We move in a pattern, covering the back wall. I’m sure if she put anything up there,
that’s where it’ll be since the arrow was pointing there. Just as I’m about to give up, my finger hits something. “Here. I feel something taped here.” I loosen the tape with my fingernails and find another key. When I free it, I hand it to Drex. Now I’m more frustrated than ever.

Huff puts me down
. “Now what? What the hell do we do with this? Why did she have to be so damn secretive?”

Drex grabs my hand
. “We’ve been here too long. Let’s go.”

Huff grabs the box. We jump in the car and on the way out, I ask Drex about the check.

“You don’t want a check from them. That was just to scare that dude. If you cash it, they’ll be all over this place. Once we don’t pick it up, he’ll destroy it and be on pins and needles for a few days, waiting to see if we call the cops. When we don’t, his lips will be sealed.”

“
Nice plan,” I say.

“You don’t need that money anyway.”

“I guess not. I don’t have access to any money right now as it is.”

“And that’s
fine.” Drex has told me that before. Many times. But it doesn’t make me feel good. I want to repay him.

“I’ll pay you back.
For all this. I’m good for it.”

“It’s cool, Gem.”

He calls the other teams and tells them to head to the airport. Then he lets the pilot know we’re on the way. Now I’m eager to see what’s inside the box. Twenty-five minutes later, we pull onto the tarmac and the pilot is waiting for us. Another man greets us and tells us he’s there to return our car. A couple of minutes after that, the other guys show up. We board the Gulfstream 550 and in no time, we’re in the air.

“You okay?” Drex asks.

“Yeah,” I say as I pull my hand out of his and rub it on my jeans. “Sorry for the clammy palm. I want to get back and see what’s in the box.”

His look morphs instantly from
concerned to heated. “Kiss me, Gem.”

Whoa. What brought this on? And who am I to ignore this request? Leaning in, I touch my lips to his. He pulls the lower one in his mouth and sucks on it.
His way of playing with me unleashes a sexual need I can’t ignore.

“You’re one
big, bad tease, you know.”

“Yep.”

“I’ll get you back when you least expect it.”

He shocks me when he
says, “I hated watching you on Huff’s shoulders.” His eyes turn dark again.

“It wasn’t anything. I needed to get up there.”

“Logic tells me that. But I don’t want anyone other than me touching you.”

“Possessive much?”

He hits me with those blue-grays again. “Never before you.”

Now I’m speechless. Why does he throw these comments out
so nonchalantly? When we’re in a place where they can’t be addressed? Then I get it. That’s exactly why he does it. Because he doesn’t want to address them. I glance around the plane and check to see what the others are doing, either reading or listening to music. That makes this fair game.

“So, you think by tossing out a comment like that, I’m going to what? Ignore it?”

“Uh …”

“And you think because of where we are that I’m not going to respond?”

“I don’t know what I think.”

“Um, yeah
, you do. You’re telling me these things because you think I won’t say or do anything since we’re not alone. Not this time, Drex.”

“What does that mean?”

“I want to know what’s in that head of yours. Now. And don’t distract me.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s in
your
head first?”

I want to smack him. But I have a better idea.
The back of this plane has sleeping quarters that will afford us privacy, so I unbuckle my belt and stand. Then I grab his hand and say, “Let’s go. We have to talk.”

He’s so tall that he can’t stand to full height but he follows me. When I close the door behind us, I don’t take time to marvel at the luxury. I simply turn to him and say, “Sit down.” I
sit next to him on the large bed.

“What happened to you? I’m not trying to be accusatory here
, but ever since the bombing, you’re different. More reticent. And sometimes I’m uncomfortable around you. You run hot and cold with me. I feel like you want to push me out one minute and then suffocate me the next. I’m in Yo-Yo-Ville with you right now and you won’t talk to me, other than to drop little comments and innuendos every now and then. I’m tired of being confused, Drex.”

H
e blows out his breath with a groan. I don’t break the silence but give him time to collect his thoughts. “I’m confused too, Gem.” Then he’s silent again.

“My mom used to call me that all the time. Gem.
Her little Gem. ‘Precious as a diamond,’ she’d say.”

“I can see why she
’d say that. But to me, you’re my precious Onyx.”

“See, there you go again. Saying things like that and then
… nothing.”

“I don’t mean to do that. It’s just
… I think we’re on the cusp of something here. I need to stay away from you because my head’s not in the game as it should be when I’m around you. You fuck with my head, Gemini. I know you don’t mean to. And I don’t blame you. It’s just that you’ve gotten to me and I can’t pull myself away. And I’m fucking scared as hell that I’m going to blow it, like I did in Iraq. If I do that, and something happens to you, I won’t be able to live with that. But the other side of me doesn’t trust anyone else to take care of you like I can. Like today when Huff had you on his shoulders, I wanted to knock the shit out of him. I’m an ass. I’m sorry.”

“Drex. Let’s just quit this whole thing. I’m to blame for all of this and I don’t want you to feel that way. I’m the one
who’s sorry. You didn’t sign up for this. This isn’t your problem. It’s mine.”

“
Stop being obtuse. Do you think I can let you walk away now? That’s a fucking joke. Why do you think I’m a mess? I’m so wrapped up in
you
, I can’t think straight. And you don’t have a choice. You’re in danger with or without me. And I’d rather be part of it, crazy as it may sound. So enough of that talk.”

“Then can we at least agree on some things here?”

“Go on.”

“Before you start weirding out on me, will you at least talk to me first?”

He gives me a soul-digging stare. “That’s a pretty tall order. Sometimes I react before I think, you know. I assess situations quickly and sometimes the status of them makes me overthink things. I always … always have that shitstorm experience hanging over me. I’ll try to discuss them, but I make judgment calls fast, and as I see fit, Gem.”

“No, I get that part. What I’m talking about is how you withdraw from me. And then go all
alpha and I never know what you’re thinking. And like last night. You went to bed with your shirt on. We never sleep with clothes on and while it may seem like a small thing to you, it wasn’t to me. It was like you put up a barrier between us.” The corners of his mouth slowly turn up, but then his mouth breaks into a huge grin.

“Well, damn, babe, if I’d have known you were gonna get so upset by a little bit of cotton, I would never have done such a rude thing to you.”

“It wasn’t just a little piece of cotton, and you know it. And you’re making fun of me.”

“Yeah, I am.”

He picks up my hand and turns it around so my palm is facing up. Then he traces the creases with his index finger.

I want to pull it out of his grasp, but I don’t. “Now you
’re deflecting.”

“I suppose I am. Maybe this topic is just a difficult one for me because I
don’t understand my feelings for you yet. I know I don’t want to lose you. Not having you in my life is a thought I can’t stand. And the thing is, I don’t just want you. I want to own you … all of you, every single bit. I want you as mine. I don’t want anyone else to look at or touch you. And quite frankly, I’m not sure how to deal with that. We haven’t known each other long enough for all of this. I suppose the fact that we’ve spent almost every waking hour together changes things. And then that damn bombing. When I thought we might not get out of there, I can’t even tell you how that made me feel. It pushed my feelings for you up several thousand notches. I think what would’ve taken months actually was hastened by that incident. But I don’t even know where you stand. When I told you about Nick, and my thoughts about him, the way you reacted made my confidence in us bottom out.”

Whoa. He really is opening up. Much more than I expected.

“Okay, forget about Nick. He shouldn’t even enter this conversation. But you want to
own
me? You don’t want anyone else to
look
at or
touch
me?”

His head swings back and forth. That’s a big no, Gemini. And there is no humor in
him. The man is serious. Oh fuck.

“You asked. I’m telling.”

I take a cleansing breath and try to clear my thoughts. “Wow. Just wow.”

“You said you wanted honesty between us, so here I am, laying myself open to you.”

After a few moments of quiet, I ask, “You told me you loved me when you were in the hospital. Are you in love with me?”

He snorts. “Now that’s the
million-dollar question, isn’t it?” He drops his head and rubs it with his free hand. My hand is still cocooned in his other one. “My brain wants to say no, but my heart disagrees. How’s that for a concrete answer?”

“It’s about the same way I feel.
In a way, I’m glad. At least we’re both on the same plane, no pun intended.”

He moves so fa
st I’m stunned when his mouth crashes into mine. His urgency leaves me breathless as his arms clutch me tightly to his chest. I get the feeling that he wants to invade every part of me. My lips are bruised and his tongue isn’t playing at all. It’s demanding, possessing, branding me. His mouth is marking me and I know this is exactly what he wants … what he needs. It’s what I need too. When our mouths break apart, my fingers touch his lips and I see a drop of blood.