TRAPPED (22 page)

‘Saucers, please, stop for God’s sake, you’re going to knock me bollocks off. Jesus darlin’ I ain’t one of your romantic heroes.’

Saucers took a quick look out of the corner of her eye and saw Johnny’s phone had come to pieces. She stopped writhing around. However embarrassed she felt, it was a whole sight better than being caught hiding Nicky. She braved a glance at Johnny who looked shell-shocked. She smiled weakly at him and spoke, slightly out of breath from all the exertion.

‘Bleeding hell, Johnny, I don’t know what came over me. All them books must have gone to me head.’

Johnny scratched his head and knew he needed to be tactful; he didn’t want to upset her. She already looked mortified with embarrassment.

‘I never knew you felt like that about me sweetheart. I don’t want to lead you on and tell you any porkies about how I feel the same. No offence babe, but I ain’t seeing you in that light. For a start you’d have me cream-crackered with passion like that girl. I don’t think me dick would last longer than a week.’

Saucers cringed inside. She hadn’t banked on Johnny wanting to discuss it and felt humiliation in his every word.

‘Forget it, Johnny, had myself a few lines of coke before you arrived. It’s the reason why I didn’t want you to come in; always takes me like that, especially if I’m up to me eyes in swashbuckling tales.’

Saucers straddled Johnny to get off him and went across to his phone, picking up all the pieces.

‘Sorry about your phone, I don’t think it’s broken. I just got a bit carried away.’

Johnny sat up, rubbing his stomach which was now tender from the weight of Saucers’ body and still slightly in a state of shock.

‘Like I say girl, no worries. I better go.’

Saucers could sense the awkwardness in Johnny as she handed the phone pieces back to him, leading him to the front door. As she let him out, Johnny turned to her and leaned in to give her a kiss on the forehead.

‘You know if it wasn’t for Maggie, you’d be my girl. There wouldn’t be any holding me back then darling.’

Saucers blushed and Johnny grinned. Both knowing but neither caring what he’d just said wasn’t the truth. It felt good to both of them; cementing their friendship once more.

‘And Saucers, do me a favour will you babe? Lay off the stuff a bit. Next time you have that level of passion you may end up killing some poor geezer.’

The door closed and Johnny let out a gigantic sigh of relief, not quite knowing what had happened in there.

Back inside the flat, Nicky stood up and greeted Saucers with a massive smile.

‘Nice one girl, I thought we were goners then but you turned it around. I would’ve liked to see his face when you jumped on him.’

‘I need you to get out.’

Nicky’s face dropped and a look of panic spread across it.

‘What?’

‘I said get out, Nicky. I knew I was taking a risk letting you stay and I was true to my word I’d help you but it’s time for you to go.’

‘We got away with it though.’

‘This time. What about the next? I can’t afford to piss Johnny off; I ain’t going back to where I came from. I can’t be turning the streets. I’m sorry, Nicky.’

Saucers went into her bedroom and picked up Nicky’s bag and brought it to him. He was still standing in the same place. She passed the bag, unable to look him in the eye.

‘If it could be any other way Nicky.’

Nicky walked past her and a moment passed before Saucers heard the front door open and close. She felt empty, and not for the first time that week, she wondered if she’d just made another big mistake.

Johnny bounded down the busy streets of the West End. The summer always brought the crowds but today he didn’t mind. Walking along Tottenham Court Road and then turning into Charlotte Street, he chuckled to himself at the image of Saucers bouncing on top of him, the way she’d leapt on him like a tigress on heat.

He felt happy. Saucers had thought it was a good idea about the flat even if she couldn’t look after Harley herself. He’d sorted out Gina and put her in her place. The only other thing now he needed to do was convince Maggie it was a good idea. He wasn’t sure if he could persuade her on just his own abilities though, so like all faces in Soho he’d needed to recruit the best – and he reckoned he’d managed to do just that. Johnny smiled as he looked down and gave a wink to Harley.

‘What’s this about, Johnny? I haven’t got anything to say.’

Johnny sighed, exasperated at Maggie’s stubbornness on the other end of the phone. He understood why she was behaving like that and, even though he was sure he’d be the same, it didn’t help him in trying to persuade her to listen to him.

‘Just hear me out babe and then if you don’t like what I’m saying you can tell me to do one. I know about Harley. I know you were thinking of giving her up.’

Maggie was stunned. She had no idea he knew and she certainly didn’t have any wish to talk about it. The situation was hard enough as it was. She didn’t need anyone trying to persuade her otherwise – because then she’d be thinking about herself and not what was best for Harley. And to Maggie, Harley was all that mattered.

‘I’m sorry Johnny, I’m not discussing it. Whatever you’ve got to say, I don’t want to hear it. It ain’t going to work with me this time. Goodbye.’

‘No! Maggie please, hold on. I’ve got someone here to talk to you.’

Johnny quickly passed the phone to Harley, giving the little girl a big smile and a wink. He could still hear Maggie on the other end of the phone.

‘Johnny? Johnny?’

‘Hello Mummy.’

Maggie’s legs nearly gave way under her as she stood in the open-all-hours shop on Berwick Street. She hadn’t been going to answer the phone when she’d seen the I.D. of the caller. But each time she’d pressed it to voicemail, Johnny had rung back. In the end, annoyed and unable to ignore the ringing or the vibration of the phone when she’d put it on silent, she’d answered, snapping harshly down the phone and securing a curious look from the shelf stacker.

Just as she was about to put the phone down she heard her daughter’s voice, making her lean against the stacked-up boxes of cereal.

‘Harley! Hello sweetheart. What are you doing?’

‘Daddy says he’s got a surprise for you.’

Maggie could hardly catch her breath. She was talking to Harley who was with Johnny and for the first time ever, she had referred to Johnny as Daddy.

She knew Harley didn’t know Johnny really, though in truth Maggie didn’t really know her either. The awful thought was the person Harley knew the most was probably Gina Daniels.

Maggie had seen her every day before she went inside, even if it was just for the odd hour. Any time she had spare, she’d give it to Harley. Johnny came and went as he pleased but because she’d been there, as well as Sheila and her auntie, Maggie hadn’t cared that Johnny was a loving but fleeting figure.

But that’d been a year ago and one year in a life of a child of Harley’s age was an eternity. Thinking back, she’d even been surprised that Harley had recognised her the day she’d got out of prison but she’d run up with a beatific smile, with so much love for her. Maggie would remember that moment for ever.

‘Daddy’s got a surprise for you. I’m going to be there too.’

‘Are you? Well can you put him back on the phone for me please, sweetie?’

After a pause, Johnny came back on the phone.

‘What are you playing at, Johnny?’

‘Maggie, don’t be pissed, it’s the only way I could think to get you to listen to me.’

‘And what makes you think I still will? You’ve sunk a long way to get our daughter involved.’

‘I thought that’s what you wanted? For us to be both involved in Harley’s life?’

‘It’s a bit late now, Johnny.’

‘But that’s the point, Maggie. It’s not too late. I promise you.’

‘What is wrong with you to think you can pull a stunt like this and click your fingers and everything will be alright?’

Johnny raised his eyes upwards as he listened to Maggie. She was stubborn. Perhaps it was the Irish blood in her, but whatever it was it infuriated him and captivated him in equal measures.

‘I know, I know, I’ve been an idiot when it comes to you and Harley, but I’m trying to make it up to you. To
both
of you.
All I’m asking is that you come and meet Harley and I – will you do that Maggie?’

‘What is it?’

‘Just come, it’s a surprise.’

‘Please.’

‘I dunno …’

‘If not for me, for Harley.’

‘Okay, Johnny. Tell me where.’

Putting her phone back in her coat jacket and leaving the basket of groceries complete with shopping list on the floor, Maggie walked out of the store empty-handed, unable to concentrate anymore. She didn’t know if she should be angry with herself or not at how quickly her resolve to have nothing to do with Johnny had disappeared. How readily she’d agreed to go and meet him. Even though it was Harley she was going for, she could feel a buzz of excitement to see Johnny.

Maggie walked up Berwick Street, feeling the sun on her back. She smiled at the regular market stall holders who she’d known a lifetime, sensing the old feelings come rushing back. Once more Johnny Taylor was beginning to get under her skin. Even more importantly though, for a fleeting moment, her, Johnny and Harley had felt like a family. A normal family. And normality was all Maggie Donaldson had craved her entire life.

Walking into Nicky’s bedroom, Sheila stopped abruptly. Something was different. It was a mess, though that wasn’t anything new. Hygiene had never been high on her son’s list of priorities, not since he’d been involved in drugs, which was as far back as she could remember. But what was different was that the plate of sandwiches which she always left for him lay untouched, still covered in cling film on the window sill. Her heart did a double beat as a deep but familiar fear hit her; the dread of being told her son was dead, overdosed with the drugs he’d been encouraged to take by Max when he was barely more than a child.

The sandwiches had always been an unspoken code between them. A code for Sheila to let her know he was alright. A code for her son to let him know that however much she didn’t or hadn’t shown it, she still cared. Sheila would leave the white double buttered bread sandwiches, only ever consisting of cheese and ham, for Nicky on the window. He’d either eat them or if not, he’d put them in the fridge, an indication he’d slunk back in the small hours of the morning. Sometimes it was the only indication she had for days to know her youngest child was still alive.

Sheila looked around the room but couldn’t decipher through all the mess if anything else was different. Turning quickly, she ran to the only person she had to go to; Max.

Eyes closed and mouth open, Max Donaldson lay in a contented sleep. Seeing her husband’s bloated body spread across the large red winged chair made Sheila have her doubts at disturbing him. But it was too late; five seconds later his left eye opened, revealing a bloodshot gaze.

‘This better be good.’

‘I’m … I’m not looking to disturb you Max, go back to sleep.’

Max shot up in his chair, rubbing his tired eyes and snorting phlegm into the back of his throat.

‘You’ve fair got some cheek woman, telling me what to do. First you come in here sounding like a heard of charging nellies and then you tell me to go back to sleep.’

‘I never meant anything by it, Max.’

‘Now you’ve woken me up, you may as well tell me what you wanted and don’t try giving me the bullshit about not wanting anything, I know you better than that Sheila. You wouldn’t have put one foot inside this room if you didn’t have to.’

Sheila had never been great at lying and no more so than when Max stared at her with unflinching hostility. She was uncomfortable from the summer heat and her anxiety was only making it worse.

‘I’m waiting, Sheila.’

‘I was wondering if you wanted any tea?’

‘Bullshit.’

‘I … I wanted you to lend me some money; I’m a bit short this week.’

‘Bullshit.’

‘I … I …’

‘The smell of bullshit is hurting me nose Sheila, it’s hanging in the air. So I’ll ask you again and I’d think very carefully about serving me up porkies. Look at me Sheila. Do not tell me any lies.’

Max got up and walked towards Sheila. He raised his fist and Sheila cowered, closing her eyes. She kept them closed for a few moments, but nothing happened. Cautiously she opened them to see Max standing with his fist lowered, a sinister grin on his face.

‘Boo.’ The roar of laughter from Max was loud and cruel, making Sheila well up in tears.

‘Behave, Sheila; I haven’t got time for you. Just tell me what I want to know then I’ll let you go.’

Max caressed Sheila’s cheek before pinching it hard. Bringing up a red welt. Sheila Donaldson’s fear of her husband strangled the truth out of her and she spoke quickly and quietly, playing with the tissue she had in her hand.

‘It’s Nicky. I think something’s happened to him.’

She looked up when there wasn’t a reply. Sheila saw h
er husb
and’s expression and she knew she needed to carry on.

‘I’m worried something’s happened to him. He hasn’t been back to the house.’

‘And what’s so unusual about our waste of a space son not coming back home?’

‘Nothing, it’s probably just me. Forget I said anything.’

Max clenched his fist and placed it on Sheila’s temple, turning one of his knuckles gently into it as he spoke.

‘Sheila, I’m running out of patience.’

‘I … I … I usually leave some sandwiches for him …’

Before Sheila had managed to finish her sentence, Max slapped his hand under her chin, clamping her mouth closed and banging her teeth together. It wasn’t a hard slap but it caught Sheila’s tongue. She tasted the blood in her mouth.

‘And how long has this bum-wiping been going on? You’ve been going behind me back and feeding him up like a stuffed goose. No wonder we have useless kids, with you treating them like royalty.’