True Blue Cowboy (The Cash Brothers) (15 page)

“Sally, Amber, Crystal, Cassy and Jennifer. They’re older than me and they’re not very nice.”

“Good job,” Beth said, after Katy finished with the eggs. She didn’t like hearing that Katy might be bullied at the home. She held out a measuring cup. “Six cups of sugar.”

“The other girls don’t like me.” Katy dumped the sugar into the bowl.

Before she realized her actions, Beth tucked a strand of hair behind Katy’s ear.

“Jennifer calls me an ugly duckling.”

Beth’s heart tumbled. Katy wasn’t a beautiful little girl, but she had big brown eyes and a nice smile. “Maybe they’re jealous of you and don’t want you to know it.” She pushed the flour bag closer. “Eight cups of flour.” When Katy grew quiet, Beth asked, “What happened to your family?”

“I don’t know. Mrs. Beanker says I was—”

“Who is Mrs. Beanker?”

“She’s the lady trying to find me a family.” Mrs. Beanker must be the social worker assigned to Katy’s case.

“She said my mom died when I was a baby, and she doesn’t know who my dad is.”

“I guess your mother didn’t have any family,” Beth said.

Katy shrugged.

“Have you ever lived with another family?”

“Mrs. Beanker says I had lots of families when I was a baby.” Katy set the measuring cup on the counter. “Now what?”

Beth handed her the measuring spoons. “Three tablespoons of vanilla.”

“Which one is the tablespoon?”

“The biggest one.”

After Katy added the vanilla flavoring into the mix, she set down the bottle of vanilla and hugged Beth. “Thank you.”

Beth couldn’t halt the tender feeling spreading through her and hugged Katy back. “They’re just cookies.”

“Not for the cookies,” Katy mumbled against the front of Beth’s blouse. “Thank you for being nice to me.”

Tears burned Beth’s eyes but she held them at bay. A little girl shouldn’t have to thank an adult for being nice.

“I hope Mrs. Beanker finds me a mom just like you.”

Beth extricated herself from Katy’s hug. “Honey, I’m not a mom. I don’t have any children.”

“Don’t you like kids?”

Beth didn’t answer the question. Instead, she hooked up an electric mixer, then flipped it to low and combined the ingredients. When she finished she handed a beater to Katy and kept one for herself. “This is the best part of making cookies.”

After Katy licked the beater clean, she asked, “Can I dump the bags of chocolate into the bowl?”

“Sure.”

“This is hard,” Katy said, trying to stir the chips.

“Want me to help?”

“I can do it.” When chocolate morsels flew across the counter, Katy quit stirring.

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m making a mess.”

“So?”

“Aren’t you gonna get mad at me?”

“Of course not.”

Katy’s mouth widened into a huge smile that made her eyes sparkle, and Beth saw the true beauty in the child.

“I wish you were my mom.”

A sharp pain stabbed Beth in the chest. “Someday Mrs. Beanker is going to find you a very nice mom and dad.”

“No, she’s not.”

“Why do you say that?”

“She said I cost too much money.”

“That’s absurd,” Beth said. “How can a little girl like you cost too much money?”

Katy set aside the spoon and lifted her T-shirt, exposing her bony chest—a chest with a thick, pink scar running down the center of it. “I have a sick heart.”

The blood drained from Beth’s head. “How sick?”

“Mrs. Beanker said I got a brand-new heart from a little boy who died in a car accident.”

“When did you get your new heart?”

She held up two fingers.

“Two years ago?”

“When I was two years old. I don’t remember it.”

“And your heart has worked well ever since?” Beth asked.

“Yeah, but I can’t do the stuff other kids do.”

“Like what?”

“I can’t run, and I’m not supposed to play sports or games on the playground ’cause I could get bumped in the chest.” Katy stuck her finger into the dough then licked it. “I have to watch the other kids play.”

“How often do you see a doctor to have your heart checked?”

“A lot. And I have to take a lot of pills to keep my heart healthy.”

“I think we’re ready to put the cookie dough on the baking sheets.” With a smaller spoon Beth showed Katy the amount of dough to use for each cookie. They worked in silence and once they finished, Beth slid the cookies into the oven. “Now we wait twelve minutes.”

“I’m bored,” Katy said.

Beth laughed, making light of the moment, but also acknowledging how often a little girl with a severe heart condition must suffer from boredom when her activities were restricted. “Do you like to read?”

“I’m not very good.”

“Are there books to read at the home where you live?”

“Yeah, but I don’t read them.”

“Why not?”

“It hurts my eyes.”

“Did you tell Mrs. Beanker it hurts your eyes?”

Katy nodded. “She said I can’t get new glasses until next year, ’cause there’s not enough money. My heart medicine costs too much.”

Beth wondered about the kind of health care Katy received living in a group home. Her medical bills must be astronomical. Then Beth considered the comfortable income she made and she was ashamed that she’d chosen to wallow in self-pity rather than embrace the opportunity to fulfill her dream of motherhood in a different way. Ashamed that she’d let her fears keep her from reaching out for her own happiness.

And it took a ten-year-old girl with a heart condition to make her see the light. “I hope you know how special you are, Katy.”

“I’m not special.”

“Oh, yes, you are.” Beth hugged her. “You’re more special than you’ll ever know.”

So special I want to keep you for myself
.

Chapter Fourteen

“Do you think Ricky will stay on?” Beth stood next to Mack outside the round pen where the kids had gathered to watch the teen ride.

“We’ll see. He’s nervous.” Mack breathed in Beth’s scent—a subtle combination of warm woman and faded perfume. After Hoss gave Ricky last-minute instructions, Mack asked, “How did things go with Katy?”

“She’s a sweet girl.”

Mack heard the strain in her voice and tried to read between the lines. He assumed it had been difficult for Beth to be with the little girl, knowing she’d never be able to—make that never allow herself to—have a daughter of her own. Mack wished with all his heart that he could fix Beth’s body so she could have a baby, but even more he wished he could make her understand that her sterility wouldn’t stop him from loving her.

Damn her cheating ex—Mack sympathized with Beth’s fear of a man leaving her again and wished he knew how to make her believe that he wasn’t the lovin’ and leavin’ kind and that his love for her was unconditional. “What did you ladies chat about?”

“Katy’s been in foster care most of her life.”

“Too bad they can’t find these kids permanent homes.”

“In Katy’s case I think it might be because of her heart condition,” Beth said.

“What heart condition?”

“She had a heart transplant when she was two.”

Wow.
“Where are her biological parents?”

“Her mother died after Katy was born and according to Katy, the case worker doesn’t know the identity of her father.” A heartfelt sigh escaped Beth, and Mack sensed the little girl’s situation touched her deeply.

“Because of her heart condition I’m sure her medical bills are steep. That’s got to be the reason they can’t find her a home,” Beth said.

“Why do you say that?”

“She such a sweet girl. She’d be easy to love.”

Beth had already fallen under Katy’s spell.

“The older girls at the home make fun of her. Kids can be so cruel.”

Beth was acting like a mama bear toward a child she’d met only a few hours ago. How could she deny herself the experience of being a mother when she was obviously cut out to be one?

“A lot of kids are cruel when they’re young.” Hell, even adults were cruel—grown men taunted Mack about his name.

“Looks like Ricky’s ready to ride. I’m going to watch from the stands.” Beth took two steps then stopped. “Mack?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m leaving on Monday for San José.”

His heart plunged into his stomach. “When does the new job start?”

“In three weeks.” She walked off as if dropping bombshells was an everyday habit of hers.

Beth might be leaving the ranch but that didn’t mean Mack was giving up on her. Or them. He moved closer to the chute where Hoss had loaded the steer. “You ready, kid?”

Ricky’s voice shook. “I can do this.”

“Yes, you can. Scoot forward a bit. That’s it. Lean back. Not too much. Right there. Now, as soon as Hoss hits the steer’s rump and scares him out of the chute, he’s gonna kick with his back legs and that will push you forward, so hang on tight.”

“How do I get off when I’m done?”

Mack ignored Hoss’s grin. “Don’t worry about the dismount, the steer will take care of that for you. When you’re ready, you nod once and that’s the signal for Hoss to open the gate.”

Ricky sat for a few seconds, clasping and unclasping his fingers around the rope. Sweat broke out across his brow, and Mack hoped the kid didn’t back down. Whether the teen believed it or not, he needed to prove to himself that he had the courage to see this ride through to the end.

Ricky nodded, and Hoss opened the gate then smacked the steer’s rump, and the animal bolted into the corral. The steer spun and kicked out in an attempt to unload the weight on its back, but Ricky hung on—his body jerking with the steer’s wild gyrations. Mack studied Ricky’s face—his narrow-eyed squint showed focus and determination. With a few lessons and a lot of practice, he’d be a great candidate for a junior rodeo career.

And who’s going to help him practice when he’s stuck in a group home?

Mack didn’t have time to contemplate the question when Hoss clanged the cowbell, signaling that Ricky had ridden eight seconds. Mack hopped into the corral ready to intervene once Ricky launched himself off the steer. “Jump into the spin!”

The teen dove off, hit the ground and rolled. “Nice ride,” Mack said. He guided the steer to the opposite side of the corral and removed the flank strap.

Ricky approached Mack. “When are we gonna go to that rodeo you promised me?” The kid grinned and Mack swore he saw the chip fall off the boy’s shoulder.

“There’s a rodeo in Sierra Vista next month. We’ll go to that one.”

“Isn’t there one sooner?” The teen was clearly worried Mack would forget.

“It’s only a few weekends away.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Ricky walked off and joined the rest of the kids who high-fived him.

Beth and Katy sat together, the little girl chatting nonstop with her hand resting on Beth’s leg. Then Beth laughed at something Katy said and he smiled at the sweet picture the pair made. No one would guess that the two weren’t mother and daughter. He switched his focus to Ricky. There was so much potential in the teen. With the right guidance and a little attention he’d grow into a fine young man.

Ricky and Katy need a family
.

Hoss shouted orders to prepare the sheep for the mutton-bustin’ competition, but Mack blocked out the commotion, his mind churning with an idea that scared the hell out of him and excited him all at once. It might possibly be the most important decision he made in his life, but as he watched Beth, he came to the conclusion that it was a decision he couldn’t afford not to make.

* * *

“W
E
’
RE
ALL
HERE
,” Johnny said, taking a seat at the table in the bunkhouse.

Mack had requested the family meeting, and the entire Cash clan had crowded into the bunkhouse Wednesday night—even Buck and Destiny had made the drive from Lizard Gulch with their two-week-old son, Cody. Mack’s heart swelled with love and gratitude for his expanding family.

Conway’s twin daughters, Emma and Molly, fussed in their parents’ arms. Javi and Mig were sprawled on the carpet, wrestling with Bandit. Dixie held a sleeping Nate in her lap. Shannon bounced a bright-eyed Addy on her knee and the tyke squealed.

Mack grinned. “If there was ever a girl born to ride bulls, it’s Addy.”

“Tell me about it,” Johnny grumbled.

Shannon nodded to Will and Marsha’s son. “That’s why I’ve given Ryan the task of improving protective gear for women roughstock riders.”

“Aunt Shannon says the Kevlar vest she had to wear was too heavy for her,” Ryan said. “I’m researching different materials to use in the future.”

Shannon beamed at her nephew. “When Addy is old enough to ride, Ryan will have figured it out.”

“Where’s Beth?” Johnny asked. “Why isn’t she here?”

“She’s in California.” Not for long—Mack hoped. “I asked everybody here today because I’ve made a big decision in my life and I need your help.” Especially if Beth declined his marriage proposal.

“This sounds serious,” Dixie said.

Suspecting his siblings would believe he’d lost his mind, Mack took a deep breath and said, “I’m going to adopt two kids. A fourteen-year-old boy and a ten-year-old girl.”

Dead silence echoed through the bunkhouse. “I met the kids last week when they came to the dude ranch. They live in a group home in Yuma and both of them have been in foster care most of their lives.”

“But you’re not married,” Dixie said.

Mack intended to propose to Beth, but he didn’t want to risk her believing that he’d only asked her to marry him because he needed a mother for the kids—that’s why he’d already begun the adoption process. Whether Beth agreed to marry him or not, he intended to become Ricky and Katy’s father.

“I’m asking for your help in raising these kids. I don’t know anything about being a father—” he made eye contact with each of his married brothers “—but I’ve watched all of you with your own kids and I see how happy you are and how fulfilling your lives have become.... I want that, too.”

“You could get married and have your own children,” Will said.

Mack met Johnny’s gaze. His brother knew the woman Mack loved couldn’t have children, and he refused to marry someone else just so he could father his own kids. “Ricky and Katy need me and I want us to be a family.”

“What about your job?” Porter asked. “And the band?”

“As far as the band goes, we’ll get together once in a while for a gig, but I’m ready to move on from that part of my life. I’ve decided to search for a townhouse in Yuma so the kids are close to their schools.”

“That’s over an hour commute to the dude ranch,” Johnny said.

“I realize that, but I want Ricky and Katy to be able to participate in after-school activities.”

“Since Gavin and I live in Yuma,” Dixie said, “I can pick up the kids after school and bring them to my shop. They’re welcome to eat dinner with us if you have to work late.”

Mack’s chest tightened. He didn’t think he could love his baby sister any more than he did right at that moment.

“When I get my driver’s license, Uncle Mack,” Ryan said, “I can help out on weekends when you’re at the ranch.”

“They can always ride the bus home with Ryan to Stagecoach and do their schoolwork at our house until you pick them up,” Will said.

Mack grinned. “I knew I could count on you all.”

“So when do we get to meet the kids?” Johnny asked.

“Their case worker wants to talk with you first, Johnny.”

The eldest Cash brother nodded. “I’ll meet him or her anytime anywhere.”

“I appreciate that. The paperwork takes a while, so I’ll be their foster parent for several months until the judge sets a court date for the adoption hearing. Once I find a place with separate bedrooms for the kids, we can all live together while we wait for the adoption to be finalized.”

Conway’s wife, Isi, cleared her throat. “I’d like to know when Porter is going to settle down.”

Porter’s eyes widened. “Why me?”

“Because you’re too much fun. Javi and Mig would rather play with you than do their chores or homework.”

“Hey, there’s no such thing as too much fun. Besides—” Porter pointed at Mack “—now that he won’t be living in the bunkhouse, Javi and Mig can move in with me.”

“Yeah!” Mig shouted.

“I like Uncle Porter,” Javi said. “He lets us eat all the Skittles after his poker game.”

Porter cleared his throat loudly and the twins stopped talking.

“I think kicking my brothers out and making them move into the bunkhouse has been the best thing ever,” Dixie said.

“Why’s that?” Shannon asked.

“It’s forced them all to grow up.”

The brothers groaned, and Isi waggled her finger at Porter. “Five brothers down, one to go.”

Right then little Cody woke and began wailing, which startled Emma and Molly, and they joined in the crying. Then Nate whined—so much for peace and quiet. Mack grinned at each of his brothers. He was a lucky guy. He had six awesome siblings, and he was about to get his own family. All he had to do was make Beth see that she didn’t want to miss out on all the happiness that awaited her if she chose to spend the rest of her life with him.

* * *

“M
R
. H
ANSEN
, I
don’t know if you remember me—”

“Sure, I do.” The supervisor of the Yuma group home for children greeted Beth. “You can call me Greg if I can call you Beth.” He waved at a chair in front of his desk, and Beth sat down. “Katy hasn’t stopped talking about you since she visited the dude ranch.”

“I hope you don’t mind me dropping by without an appointment.”

“Now is the best time to chat since the kids are in school.” He glanced at the wall clock. “In a few hours they’ll get off the bus and this place will be chaos until lights out.” He leaned back in his chair. “What can I do for you?”

Beth’s pulse raced. She was so sure she’d thought through her idea, but now that she was here she worried if she was doing the right thing. Her heart said yes, but she feared she might not be good enough for what she was about to ask. Taking a deep breath she said, “I’d like to inquire about the process of adopting Katy.”

“Have you ever been a foster parent?”

“No. And I understand that this is coming out of the blue, but I felt a special connection to Katy and...”
I’m ready to try— No.
“I’m ready to be a mother.”

“You’re not married, are you?”

“No, I’m divorced. Is that a problem?”

“We like to place kids in a two-parent home, but in Katy’s case that probably won’t ever happen.”

“She told me about her medical condition,” Beth said. “I realize she’ll need a doctor’s care for the rest of her life, and that there will be ongoing expenses. I recently accepted a job with a San José investment firm, and I’ll have medical coverage for both of us. My salary will more than cover our living expenses and Katy’s care.”

“So you’d want to take Katy to California to live.”

“Actually, I’ll be staying in Yuma. I’ve made arrangements with my employer to work from home. Once a month I’ll need to fly to California for meetings, but I’ll arrange for Katy’s care while I’m gone. Is that a problem?”

“It sounds like you’ve thought this through, but I’m sorry to say that we’ve found a foster home for Katy, and the foster parent has expressed interest in adopting her, too.” Greg shook his head. “All these years and no one’s reached out to Katy, then suddenly there are two people who want her.”

Beth’s ears buzzed. Of all the scenarios she imagined, this one had never entered her mind.

“I’ll tell you what, Beth. If Katy has any trouble adjusting to her new foster home, I’ll be in touch.”

Feeling numb, Beth stood. “Katy’s happiness—” not hers “—is what matters most.” Eyes burning, she left the home and got into her car then willed herself not to cry.
Go figure.
She finally allowed herself to dream of being a mother and all her bravery had gotten her was more rejection.