True Confessions (9 page)

Dear Journal,

After what transpired in Drake’s office, I should have run for the hills. I’ve never, ever done anything like that in my life. I can’t believe I let it happen. Maybe it was the thrill and excitement of it all. Perhaps, it was doing things that were not in my character that made me give in to him. Maybe the fact that Drake was my superior had something to do with it, or was it that he brought out a sexuality in me I didn’t even know existed?

To my credit, I will admit that during the preceding week, I debated back and forth whether I’d show up at the appointed time. To be honest, I could have easily gotten out of it by telling my manager that my workload was too heavy. I purposely avoided Drake by not venturing into our lobby area during lunch, not even to take care of personal matters. I literally camped out in my cubicle and hoped that he wouldn’t call. Every time an internal call came through, I prayed it wasn’t Drake.

I was totally confused over what had happened. My feelings flip-flopped back and forth. One minute I was flattered that he liked me, the next I wondered, did he really like me or did he think I was some sort of whore for what I let him do to me? One thing I was sure of, I was very attracted to Drake. Probably more attracted to him than any other man I had ever met. It didn’t help that word had gotten out about him on my floor and my coworkers were constantly making comments about the sexy new manager upstairs and what he could do for them.

Basically for seven days my mind was in a total state of chaos. My emotions bounced back and forth like a tennis match. When Friday finally arrived, I still wasn’t sure what my final decision would be. I had picked up the phone several times to cancel our meeting and make up some excuse as to why I needed to. However, there was just something about Drake that drew me to him. I couldn’t stay away until I learned and experienced more.

At my designated time, I found myself taking the elevator up to his floor. As requested, I was dressed in a casual skirt and top. I don’t know why Drake made that particular request, but I obliged him. As usual, I knocked on the closed door, and heard Drake’s sexy voice requesting that I come in. I took two deep breaths, because it was now or never, and stepped into the office of the man who, in the months that followed, I would blindly love and follow.

“Hi.” I smiled timidly. Being in Drake’s presence brought out all my insecurities. I always wondered if I looked pretty enough or was intelligent enough. After all, he could have his pick of women. Why choose me?

“Hey, Kennedy. Give me a minute,” he stated in a direct, professional tone. He hadn’t even looked up from his paperwork.

“Take your time.” In my nervousness, I found myself playing with a strand of my hair and biting down on my bottom lip.

Drake, dressed in a pair of linen pants and button-down shirt, looked very serious today. There was no indication of what had gone down only a week earlier. This day, he was Mr. Professional. I was beginning to think that I’d imagined the entire incident; maybe it was an erotic dream.

Drake proceeded to pull out the final stack of reports and place it next to me on the desk. We were in our usual position: me sitting at his desk, in his chair, and Drake alternating between sitting on the edge of his desk or standing up behind me.

“Looks like we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel,” he said.

“Looks that way.”

“Kennedy, you’ve been a great help.”

“Really, I’m just doing my job.”

“I must say I’m going to miss your company. Where have you been keeping yourself this week?” Finally. He was giving me his undivided attention.

“What do you mean?” I asked as he walked up behind me and glanced out his window, overlooking the city. Without turning around in my chair, I sensed him checking me out.

“I usually see you in the elevator or catch a glimpse of you in the lobby, but this week I didn’t run into you. I looked for you. I hoped to see you. Seeing you, even for a few seconds, always makes my day. You’re a breath of fresh air.”

I blushed. “Oh, I’ve had a lot of work to catch up on, not to mention my growing to-do list.”

“Well, I hope I haven’t put you behind schedule.”

“No, we are unusually busy this time of the year; this is not the norm.”

“This makes me appreciate you helping me out all the more.” There was that perfect smile again. I shivered when I thought of those lips nibbling on my neck.

“You’re welcome.”

By now he had moved and was sitting in the chair across from his desk. The one usually reserved for visitors. For a moment the only sound in the room was our breathing. Self-conscious, I looked down. Drake continued to stare intensely at me.

“I really like you, Kennedy Logan. You know that? I could get into you.”

I didn’t comment; I didn’t know what to say.

“I know this could be complicated for both of us, but I’d love to see you outside the office. I don’t typically mix business and pleasure, but there’s something about you that’s different, worth breaking the rules for.”

I didn’t move.

“I can’t get you off my mind. I’m seriously feeling you.”

“Me either…I don’t mix business with pleasure.”

“Well, we are adults and we can handle this. There are exceptions to everything. Right? Rules are made to be broken.”

I didn’t respond. My thoughts were racing, bumping, colliding into each other at rapid speed.

“And I’m sure we could be discreet. No one has to know.”

I glanced down at my Fossil watch. “We’d better get started. Don’t you think?”

Drake glared at me for a few seconds and then he smiled that fabulous, one hundred–watt smile. The one that made my heartbeat speed up, my pulse race, and my legs quiver.

“Don’t say another word. I understand. Let’s get started…on this paperwork.”

Drake and I worked diligently for the next forty-five minutes or so. I didn’t want to see another stack of reports for a long, long time. We had accomplished quite a bit in a short span. Now he was joking around and telling me about some of his encounters since coming to work for our company. He had the diction and movements of some of the senior managers down to a science. He had me in stitches with his imitations. I’d never laughed so hard. I told him he missed his calling; he should have been a stand-up comedian. Our mood had quickly switched from business to playful in a matter of minutes. He took me totally off guard when he asked, “Why haven’t you mentioned what happened between us?”

I hesitated and crossed my legs. “I don’t know, I thought maybe I had imagined the entire thing.”

“No, it definitely was real,” he stated, looking at me from his spot on the edge of the desk.

“Oh,” was all I could say.

“You are too funny, Kennedy. You’ve never done anything like that before, have you?” he asked, amused.

“No, I can’t say that I have, not in a professional setting anyway.”

“See, that’s what’s so refreshing about you. There is so much you haven’t experienced. You’ve lived a sheltered life, Kennedy Logan.”

“Well, I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”

“It’s not bad. You just need to loosen up and let go sometimes. Don’t freak out over everything. Life is too short not to try to experience everything it has to offer.”

“That’s funny, you sound just like my friend, Taylor.”

“Well, she’s right. We’re right,” Drake proclaimed proudly.

“I’m not sure I know how to let loose. I’m pretty conservative.”

“Don’t worry. Stick with me. I can show you things, Miss Logan, that you wouldn’t believe or couldn’t perceive before.”

“I bet you can, Mr. Collins,” I stated, boldly flirting with him now.

“How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-eight.”

“What month is your birthday?”

“June.”

“Oh, so that makes you a Gemini. Y’all love hard and give your all in relationships. See, I’m up to speed on astrology.”

“You are crazy,” I laughed, forgetting where we were.

“Am I? I think I’m a thirty-year-old man who speaks his mind and goes after what he wants. And I want you,” he stated only inches from my face now. I smelled the mint he had only a few minutes earlier popped into his mouth. “I typically get what I want.”

“Really?”

“You heard me.”

With that, Drake kneeled down in front of my chair. I noticed the muscles of his thighs expand and bulge against the fabric of his pants. Seconds later, while he cupped my chin and looked deep into my eyes, he moved his other hand from my ankle up to my thigh, taking my skirt with him in one swift swoosh. I instantly closed my eyes and let out a surrendering sigh. I couldn’t fight this. When I opened them again, Drake had my skirt pulled up, showing off my silky red panties as his large hand rubbed and massaged between my open thigh. Already I experienced a warmness spreading and radiating within.

“Pull those off,” Drake demanded.

“Pardon me?”

He laughed and repeated himself. “You heard me. Pull those off.” He was whispering now. “Take off your panties.”

“Somebody might walk in.” I could barely think with him opening my legs and touching me.

“They won’t. You do trust me, don’t you?” His middle finger found my spot, as it slid underneath my panties. Dove in deep. Pulled out and pushed in with two fingers.

I nodded. With my eyes never leaving his face, I took a deep breath, stood up, and slipped my panties off and dropped them to the floor, then just stood there, not knowing what to do next. With his hands on my shoulders, Drake slowly pushed me back down into the chair. He spread my legs as wide as they’d go and then he went to work. I allowed him to do whatever with me. I didn’t fight him. I didn’t protest. I didn’t say no. I…simply…surrendered.

First, he placed his gorgeous face down there and gently rubbed it around. Then his tongue proceeded to do things to me that my mind had only imagined. At one point he had to put his free hand over my mouth to muffle my intense moans. Drake was relentless with his mouth and fingers. He knew exactly what to do to get my body to respond. I was putty in his hands. Mere molding clay. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do anything but come.

For thirty minutes, yes, thirty minutes, Drake took me to heaven with his oral pleasure. When he added his fingers to the equation, I thought I’d go out of my freaking mind. Added to the surrealness and excitement was the fact that there was an entire floor of associates and managers, just on the other side of that door, and they had no idea what was going on.

Later, Drake had me wide open, sprawled across his desk. I was on my back with my private parts and breasts exposed and in full view for the world to see. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

I thought I’d die of fright and embarrassment. I froze.