Twilight's Serenade (22 page)

“Are you really?” Yuri asked his daughter.

Laura nodded enthusiastically. “I get to help, and you can, too.”

“Your papa has to get to work,” Britta said, flashing Yuri a smile.

“He’s going to make boats,” Laura announced as if this fact were unknown.

Yuri couldn’t help but laugh. He picked up the tub and inclined his head to the right. “Why don’t you open the door for me?”

Laura danced away, jabbering about something he couldn’t quite make out. He glanced over his shoulder at Britta. “I’ll see you later.”

She nodded, but he saw a hint of sadness in her eyes. He wished he could say something to change that, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know how to make things different, so he walked away.

Later at the boat shop, Yuri couldn’t keep his mind on what he was doing. Thoughts of Darya, Laura, and Britta piled up one on top of the other.

“You’re gonna sand that right out of existence,” Dalton said, coming up alongside him.

Glancing down, Yuri could see that he was making a mess of things. “Sorry. Guess my mind is somewhere else.”

“I can see that.”

Yuri put the piece aside. Turning to lean against the workbench, he pushed back his hair. He wasn’t sure what else to say. There had been a time when he and Dalton could tell each other anything, but now Yuri felt the distance of years and poor choices standing between them.

Dalton seemed to understand. “Yuri, I’m blessed to have you back in my life, you have to know that.” He took a seat on one of the nearby stools. “Phoebe said you were very supportive in my absence. I suppose I should be jealous, but instead, I’m just grateful.”

A smile spread across Dalton’s face, and Yuri returned it. Other men might take umbrage at the comment, but Yuri knew Dalton meant it only in jest. Phoebe was completely devoted to her husband, and Dalton knew his trust was well placed.

“I’m glad I could help,” Yuri said. Sobering, he looked at his feet. “I appreciate that you took another chance on me.”

“Speaking of which, when you feel ready to discuss it,” Dalton began, “I’d like to talk to you about coming back on as my partner. I’ve always felt that this place should be half yours.”

Yuri looked up in surprise. “How can you say that?”

“It was your birthright. After all, the place belonged to your father before me.”

“But I sold my birthright.”

Dalton nodded. “And I want to see it brought back to you.”

“Is this because I married your sister?”

“No,” Dalton answered without hesitation. “It’s because it’s the right thing to do.”

Yuri felt overwhelmed. “I don’t know what to say. I feel like such a . . . well, I don’t know what to say.”

“I know something is bothering you, Yuri. Why not talk to me about it?”

He could see the concern in his friend’s eyes. For reasons he couldn’t understand, Yuri felt compelled to let his guard down. Dalton had a good head on his shoulders and a heart for God. Maybe he was exactly the person Yuri should talk to.

“I don’t know how to be a father or a husband,” he confessed.

Dalton nodded. “I don’t think anything prepares us for the task.”

“I know I wasn’t prepared for it with Marsha.” Yuri shook his head and was silent for a time. “Marsha was never happy, and part of that was my fault.”

“But she’s gone now.”

“Yes, but Laura is still here. Darya too, but . . .” He fell silent and stalked to the open door. “Darya isn’t my child.”

Dalton joined him at the door. “I guess I figured that much.”

“You were always the smart one. I didn’t even know Marsha was expecting again. She never told me. You can imagine my surprise when I showed up and found out that Marsha had died in childbirth.”

“I can’t even imagine.”

For a moment, Yuri toyed with the idea of dropping the entire conversation. How could he possibly hope for Dalton to understand? Here he was, married to Dalton’s little sister and father to two daughters. He should be happy. He should be quite content and willing to go forth in this new life and make the best of it.

“Do you love my sister?”

Yuri was taken completely by surprise. “That’s . . . well, of course I love her. She’s been a part of my life since she was born. She’s a wonderful woman and a good mother.”

“A wonderful woman. Not a wonderful wife?”

“Look, just forget about it.” Yuri went back to the workbench and gathered his tools. “I should finish up. We’re having supper with you tonight.”

Dalton put his hand on Yuri’s shoulder. “Marsha was wrong for what she did, but she’s gone. Your daughters need you. Both of them. Darya may not be your flesh and blood, but you are all she has.”

His comment made Yuri stop and turn. “But what if I can’t be what she needs?”

“Are you asking about Darya or Britta?”

He started to tell Dalton that it was none of his business, but the truth was his friend had hit a raw nerve. “I don’t know, Dalton. I just don’t know.”

Britta could see that her husband was uncomfortable. He shifted several times at the table and ate very little. She wished she could know what was on his mind, but with so many people around them, it was not the time to ask.

“I hate to dampen everyone’s spirits,” Phoebe’s mother announced, “but I suppose it’s time for us to return home to the States.”

“You know, Phoebe and I have been discussing that very subject,” Dalton said. “We were hoping maybe you would consider staying. Both of you.”

Britta exchanged a look with Kay, who was beaming. “I think that would be wonderful,” Britta declared. “I know Phoebe would love having you here.”

“I would, indeed,” Phoebe replied. “Oh, please say you will.”

Her mother looked to Ted. “I don’t know what to say. I think I would like that very much, but I would never ask Ted to go home alone.”

“Truth be told, I was hoping to stay,” Ted said, glancing at Kay. “You see, I have something to announce. I’ve asked Kay to be my wife, and she said yes.”

Britta clapped her hands. “That’s wonderful news!”

“Oh, Kay, Teddy, congratulations!” Phoebe flashed them each a smile. “I hope you’ll let us help you with the wedding plans.”

Kay giggled. “Of course. I haven’t any idea of what to do first.”

“You’ve already done the best thing,” Ted said, giving her a wink. “You fell in love with me.” Kay blushed while everyone else laughed. Everyone but Britta.

The initial joy of the announcement faded from Britta’s thoughts. Kay and Ted were obviously in love—happy at the idea of spending the rest of their lives together. She looked at Yuri, but he didn’t see her. He was busy slathering butter on bread and seemed oblivious to everything else.

Britta’s stomach began to sour, and she was almost happy when Darya began to fuss. “If you’ll excuse me.” She got up from the table and lifted the baby from the high chair. Without another word, Britta escaped to the front room. Why did such a happy occasion have to bother her so much?

“Are you all right?”

She looked up to find Dalton watching her closely. “I’m fine.” She turned back to the baby. “She’s wet.”

“Britta, something is bothering you. You haven’t seemed yourself lately.”

“I’m fine, really.” She focused on Darya’s smiling face. “I’ve just been so busy lately.”

“Mother told me you gave up an important position playing violin in England.”

“It wasn’t right for me. I didn’t want to go so far away.” She finished changing the baby and straightened. “I’m happy with the choice I made.”

“Truly? You used to be happy playing the violin, too.” He seemed to look deep into her soul. “Mother says you haven’t played once since your return to Sitka.”

“Children take time, and I find that I prefer caring for them to sitting alone playing a serenade.” She lifted the baby. “I love being home, and I adore Darya and Laura. They make me very happy.”

“And Yuri?”

Britta raised a brow. “What about him?”

“Are you happy with Yuri?”

“Of course. You know I’ve loved him most of my life.” She tried to sound matter-of-fact, hoping Dalton would let the subject rest. “Honestly, Dalton, you worry too much.”

“I just want you to be happy,” he said softly. “I care about you.”

Britta felt her breath catch. If she wasn’t careful she’d start to cry. “I care about you, too. Just stop worrying. Now, come on. We should join the others.”

He reached out to stop her. “Britta, ignoring a problem won’t make it go away.”

“Neither will dwelling on it,” she snapped back. She handed Darya to him. “Here, would you have Kay watch her while I put this diaper to soak?”

Dalton took the baby in his arms but refused to leave. “Britta, I can see that there are problems between you and Yuri.”

“Why? Has he said that?”

“No, but you two are hardly very affectionate with one another. You don’t seem happy.”

Britta let her guard drop just a bit. “Marriage is hard work. You know that. We’re still trying to adjust to each other and to having a family.”

“Is that all?” Darya reached up to pull on his lip, and Dalton pretended to bite at her hand. The baby laughed and grabbed for his ear.

“Look, I don’t want to talk about this. Yuri and I have to work through some things, but it’s no one else’s business.” She turned back to retrieve the diaper. “Please just let the matter go. I’m sure in time, everything will fall into perfect order.” At least, she prayed it would.

She was glad that Dalton didn’t offer any other thought on the situation. It was hard enough to keep her own disappointment at bay. Thinking about how difficult her marriage was—how unloved she felt, how much she longed to be Yuri’s true wife— was enough to destroy any hope Britta had at happiness.

She’d made her choice—had practically forced Yuri to marry her. For the sake of the girls, she had to make this work. She just had to.

Chapter 18

B
ritta found it impossible to sleep that night. She tossed and turned and finally gave up just as she heard the clock strike two.
What if I did the wrong thing? What if marrying Yuri
went against God’s will for me?
She couldn’t imagine how that could even be possible. She loved Yuri, and he did care for her. Laura and Darya needed them. How could it be wrong?

Yet ever in her mind was the example of Kay and Ted marrying for love. They were giddy, and everyone knew how much they enjoyed each other’s company. Britta pushed back the covers. She and Yuri acted more like business associates than lovers.

“But that’s because, in Yuri’s eyes, it is nothing more than an arrangement to care for his children,” she said, pulling on her robe. The very thought pierced her heart.

She went to check on the girls and found them sleeping soundly. There was a definite chill to the room, however, so Britta stirred up the embers in the stove and added more wood. She checked once more on Darya. Such an innocent. Britta gently touched the baby’s brow. One day she hoped she might have her own baby. Not that she wouldn’t treat Darya and Laura both as her own. Hugging her arms to her body, Britta tried to imagine just for a moment what it would be like to carry a child in her body. The wonder of it caused the aching in her heart to increase.

She tiptoed from the room and started to head back to bed, then decided instead to step out for a breath of fresh air. The wooden floor creaked as she made her way to the front door. She hoped Yuri would sleep soundly and not notice that someone was moving about.