Two Can Play (28 page)

He hands me an envelope. I tear it open as I walk away to a more private spot in the lounge. Tears are rolling down my cheeks. I can't bear it. So close and yet so far. My vision is blurred, and I can't see a damn thing. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.

Dear Kate,

If you ever read this, I want you to know I'm so sorry for everything I said. I didn't mean a single word of it. Please forgive me. I'll never forget you. Aaron   xxxx

My heart squeezes so tightly I think I'm about to have a heart attack. I sit on the lounge chair with my head in my hands in floods, desperately trying to pull myself together. Five minutes later a familiar arm wraps itself around my shoulders. I look up. It's my mom.

“
Honey, what's happened...?”

“
He's gone...,” I sob. “And I didn't get to see him.”

“
Oh no, I'm so sorry, Kate. Come on, sweetheart. Let's get you home again. And you really need to tell me what's been going on.”

I get up and she holds my waist guiding me out the entrance and back inside Harry's car yet again. My chest heaves with my sobs as I sit in the back hugging her tight. She strokes my hair, then kisses my cheek. “Sweetie, I hate to see you in such a state. He must mean a lot to you. Why didn't you say?”

“He's everything, he means everything to me,” I whisper, burying my face in her shoulder.

“
Where's he's gone?”

“
I don't know, he's not answering.”

“
He must be on a plane then, send a message, he'll get it when he lands. Don't you worry, you'll see him again.” She hugs me tightly and gives me her iPhone.

I start to type a message.

I got your note, missed you by a couple of hours. So sad. Give me your NY address and I'll come to you.

I've been asleep, with the assistance of sleeping pills. It's been seven hours since I went to the hotel and I've not heard a thing. I know it’s a five-hour flight to New York so he should have my messages by now. Why hasn't he replied? His iPhone is still switched off.

I'm in constant floods, my stomach in knots. My mom's trying to console me, but she can't help. By the time I get to eight hours of no replies, I'm sick. Physically.

Then I decide to do something completely mad. I'm going to him.

I need to send him a message, that I'm on the way to New York but I don't want my mom to know what I'm up to. I'm worried she'll try and stop me going and although she can't physically stop me, I don't want to argue about this with her. After pleading with Brendan to borrow his cell, and sending my long and complicated message about my cellular problems, I persuade him to run me to the airport, and I make up a tale about my friend being ill. I know he doesn't believe me for a second, but he plays along with it for some reason. Perhaps he can sense my desperation. It must almost be a tangible presence surrounding me.

After a real rush of a ticket purchase, I manage to get on the next flight that is already boarding. I've told Brendan I'll be back in two or three days and to let my mom know where I'm headed when he gets back. He hugs me goodbye, kisses my cheek, and says he'll miss me.

It might be a little uncaring, but I'm not really taking much notice of him. I'm desperate to go. I'm stranded in my thoughts and my overwhelming desire to get to Aaron. No matter what.

I run for the gate and get on the plane, literally at the last minute.

As I sit there looking out of the window, at least I feel like I'm doing something positive. And while I'm up in the air, I can't fret and get more and more miserable that he hasn't called.

I try and relax. It's only five hours. I'll be there by early evening. I try not to think about negative outcomes of my lunatic flight, what might happen if he doesn't answer my texts or doesn't want to meet me.

His note was sweet and lovely. He wants me back, I'm sure he does.

Why else would he have come to Vegas and left me that letter?

HIM

I have to run for my Venice connection, because the plane was over a half hour late landing, having battled a strong headwind over the Atlantic. Once inside the plane, I get comfortable once again. The doors close and we're off immediately. I get my cell out, and turn it on. I'd left it turned off to save battery. It's still on flight mode, not connected to the world, so I put my earphones on and chill with some music for a while, then play a game. It's an hour and forty-five minutes flight time, and after a strong cup of coffee half way, I doze with boredom. I ache like hell. Even though I was traveling first class luxury from Vegas, sitting in any chair for fifteen hours isn't fun. Still, the torment's almost over.

My stomach is rolling with anxiety. Hopefully Mom will be okay. She'll definitely get the best care and attention. Money's no problem. But money can't solve everything. I know that and I'm keeping my fingers tightly crossed for her. For all of us.

As we come into land, I'm getting more and more anxious about everything ahead. I can't lose my mom now. I've only just got her. I was just getting to know her a little. I'm gonna have to work hard and fast when I get to Venice, gather my sisters, and get something going with them. Create some kind of team effort to support Mom. And possibly, to support each other, too.

I think it's called a family.
I think wryly.

Paula should be easy enough to get on board. We get on already. She used to play with me, read to me as a kid. I remember playing hide and seek with her in the garden and swinging in the trees on ropes and things. She was a real tomboy at one stage. I smile at the memory of all that. I did have a few light moments in my childhood. It's so easy to bury them under the heavy ones. Unfortunately, there were a helluva lot more of those, so it's not surprising.

I sigh to myself at the task ahead with Isobel and Lola. They're such hard work.

I need to get the charm out big time.

Because they're a proper pair of bitches.

Still, my sisters may be all I have left soon.

I stop that train of thought straight away.

Think positive, Aaron, for Mom...

I realize as we thump down, that we've landed and I hardly thought about it. I'm well on the way to being cured of landing stress disorder, or whatever it was. That's a positive thing at least.

I leave the plane. As soon as I can, I switch my iPhone on. It's finally up and running.

Hallelujah for that at least.

I wade my way through all my messages. There's one from him.

He's telling me he's coming to Vegas. He wants to say something important.

Christ, what a mess my wet cell has caused.

Nothing from him since but one very angry one from my mom, ticking me off for leaving without telling her.

I'm beside myself. I really thought there would be something by now, it's fourteen hours...I don't understand. And I don't know what to do. Should I wait for a while, to be sure, or just give up and go home?

To be honest, I can't face another flight straight away. I'll spend the night and go home tomorrow. It's getting late anyway. I hop in a yellow taxi and leave JFK for downtown New York with instructions to get me to a good hotel. 

An hour later, due to heavy traffic, I arrive at the Radisson Martinique on Broadway and check in for one night. I go for a quick walk down the block and grab McDonalds for my dinner. Then I return to my room and have a long hot shower. I keep checking my cell constantly. I'm obsessed with it, as if it's the answer to my prayers. This little electronic device, I rely on so heavily, is the key to my world of happiness or misery, as the case may be. I send another message telling him my new cell is alive, and a please call me URGENTLY. I lay down on my bed and tiredness completely overwhelms me. I'm emotionally overwrought. Wrung out and exhausted. I can't help it. I fall asleep clutching my cell phone to my chest.

I'm woken by buzzing. I dare to look at the cell hopefully.

It's him. God, it's actually him!

My heart pounds and I feel faint with relief and nerves.

“Hi, Aaron,” I squeak. My voice has almost disappeared.

“
Hey, Kate honey. I've just got a ton of your messages and missed calls.” He laughs. The sound of his voice makes me weak inside. I so want to see him right now.

“
Oh, Aaron, we've got through to each other, finally,” I manage to reply. I have a lump in my throat. I'm tearing up.

“
Yeah and I can't believe this! For fuck’s sake, Kate. I'm in Venice now.”

NOOO.. He's on the other side of the Atlantic?

“God, no! Why?”

“
My mom's not well, so I need to be here for a while.”

“
Aaron, no....” I start to sob. I can't help it. For a brief, joyous moment, when I heard him say hello I was mentally throwing himself in his arms. It was going to be the grand reunion and the kiss of the century. My heart lurches with love and desperation. If I don't see him soon, I really think I'm going to die. My heart can't take any more of this…

“
Baby, shh, calm down. Look, fly here tomorrow. Can you do that? I'll pay your fare. I can't leave, you understand? I've just got here. I need to spend some time with her.”

It seems all isn't lost. He can't come to me for whatever reason he has going on with his mom, who I thought he hated. But, what the hell, I'm sure I'll find out what's going on eventually. At least he wants me to go meet him. And right away. He's definitely still interested. Hope and relief invade my whole body. Just another little day of waiting, that's all. I can do that. And then I can hug and kiss him to death. All over.

“Yes, it's okay, I can come. And thanks, but I don't need you to pay the fare. I've got enough cash.” I gulp and try to calm my raging tears. My throat burns with the need to cry properly.

“
Let's talk then. Not like this. I want to see you, do it face to face, okay?”

“
I guess so.”

“
How's the broken arm, anyway?”

“
Rock hard and white.”

“
How the hell d'you do it?”

“
Falling down the stairs in Flamingo club, and before you ask, I was completely sober.”

“
I won't laugh.”

“
It really hurt, so no, don't.”

He's silent for a moment. I can hear him breathing.

“Look, I'm sorry, but I really can't make small talk like this, Kate. There are things I want to say. Text as soon as you know the flight you're on. I'll meet you at the airport.”

What does he want to say? Why can't he say some of it now, for crissakes?

But I can't push him. Not on a call. I can't see his expression or guess what he's thinking.

“
I'll arrange it right away,” I say, trying to calm my wildly high and low erratic thoughts.

“
We'll see each other tomorrow then. No matter what, okay?”

“
Okay.” I sniffle with emotion.

I don't want him to go.

“'Bye for a while.”

“
I'm sending you a kiss.”

I'm choking up, about to sob again.

“
I'm sending you one, too. ’Bye, babe.”

He ends the call.

Like a ray of light, blinding me through my tears, a huge smile breaks out on my face. I'm suddenly ecstatic. It's so true about absence making the heart grow fonder. I'm completely in love. Hearing his voice brought everything back and then some. I'm sure this is gonna be fine. He wants me. Hopefully as much as I want him.

I get busy, full of enthusiasm, calling my mom, Brendan, the airline, all my friends. I'm chatting for a whole hour, catching up. My world is starting to look rosy again. I hope it stays that way. I've just about had enough of my disaster zones.