Two Knights of Indulgence (20 page)

“Those men you stopped, they would do anything in
their power to kill, maim, or torture people.
 
By stopping them, you saved countless hundreds of people.
 
The more Illuminati you take out, the more
you save.
 
You’ve used your gift for good
all along.
 
Now, you have the opportunity
to help thousands, if not millions.”

“An opportunity?
 
One minute you push me away
and the next you tell me I need to stay and use my gift.
 
You want me to stay around and kill off your
bad guys?
 
I don’t have the stomach for
that.
 
For a minute, I thought I could,
but it isn’t who I am.”

“It
is
who
you are.
 
The sooner you face facts, the
better off you’ll be.”

“Just like I should face facts that I’m a whore?”

He knew she was going to drop that in his lap
eventually.
 
“I didn’t mean it as you
took it.”

“I’m sorry, just how did I misconstrue what you said?”

Matthias scrubbed a hand over his face, knowing they’d
come full-circle.
 
“I meant I would be
disrespecting you by participating in a relationship of that type.
 
If I wasn’t willing to commit myself to you
and you only, I wasn’t valuing you.”

“
Matthias,
just let it
go.
 
There is no choosing one or the
other.
 
We’ve been amped up on lust ever
since we met.
 
It was inevitable that we
partook eventually.
 
I was stupid for
thinking we could continue to pursue it to see where it led.
 
It was just a couple of good fucks.
 
Let’s leave it at that.”

He felt as if she’d just punched him in the gut.
 
After what he’d said, perhaps he deserved
that.
 
But he had given thought to
forever, not just a couple of good “fucks” as she put it.
 
She wasn’t the stupid one, he was.
 

“Consider it let go.”
 
Matthias stood and walked back over to his chair and settled in.
 
He wondered if she’d sensed the lie for what
it was and realized he didn’t care.
 
She’d just broken him with a few choice words, so let her speculate.
 
His gaze stared unseeing at the twinkling
lights of a city just below as his maudlin thoughts began to wander.
 
His proclamation had started the unraveling
of the shaky intimacy they’d begun to forge.
 
His unwillingness to bargain had been his downfall.
 
Then he’d added insult to injury by calling
her a whore.
 
No matter what he said, she
wouldn’t forgive that.
 
He couldn’t
believe the word had even popped out of his mouth, but he’d never really been
the articulate one.

 
He’d grown up
in a different time, one filled with chivalry and a code of morals.
 
Granted, those codes were oft broken, but one
of the consistent ideals in his upbringing was two lovers together made a
relationship, but a triangle of three did not.
 
Times may have changed, but Matthias hadn’t changed along with them in
some aspects.

And it wasn’t that he thought her a whore, but being
with her along with Nicolas felt disrespectful.
 
If he committed the act, then he was dishonoring her.

It’s her choice.

The errant thought whispered through his mind.
 
If it were what she truly wanted and it would
give him the opportunity to have her if even for a little while, was it worth
it?
 
She was a consenting adult, as were
they.
 
If all parties agreed, what would
it matter?

He shook his head.
 
It would matter to him.
 
He’d
grown up expecting to one day settle down with a fine wife, the king of his own
castle, his children running around his feet.
 
The children were no longer a possibility, but the wife and home still
were.
 
If he settled for halfway now,
what if forever came knocking?
 

He released an unsteady breath.
 
When was he going to face that the fairy tale
forever
afters
didn’t happen for men like him?
 
He had the closest thing in his grasp and had
pushed it away because he’d been unable to bend.
 
There was no point in going over and over the
point now.
 
She’d made it quite obvious
she wanted no parts of him, not for the kind of relationship he wanted.

There would be no happily ever after for them.
 
Why he’d let a woman turn him mawkish, he’d
never know. This was why he’d avoided them for so long.
 
Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to elude
this one.
 

****

Britt sat looking at Matthias, hoping he wouldn’t look
up and see the hint of longing in her gaze.
 
She needed to get herself together.
 
The whirlwind she’d been caught up in had been fraught with emotion and
adrenaline.
 
Her desire for them had
sprung from that craziness.
 
She wasn’t
that woman, one who lusted after two men.

Matthias was a pig-headed bastard.
 
How dare he call her a whore?
 
The statement had made her feel cheap for the
first time in her life.
 
It wasn’t a good
feeling.
 

Britt wanted a shower.
 
She felt dirty.
 
His hands had
been all over her.
 
He’d filled her womb
with his seed, and she could feel the wetness oozing out from between her legs,
a reminder of what a slut she apparently was.
 
Anger soon forged back into her, the words she wanted to scream at
Matthias rushing through her mind.
 

It all coalesced in her mind, swirling anger making
her cross-eyed.
 
Was the reason she was
so angry was that there was a hint of truth in his words?
 
Perhaps Matthias had been right on some
level.
 
Maybe she was acting like a
whore.
 
She’d been thinking of sex
halfway down the mountain, ready for them the entire way.

She wasn’t the type of woman to sleep with multiple
men.
 
Hell, she hadn’t even had sex in
over a year.
 
Now that she’d found men
she could relax with and be in that moment, the experience had been
breathtaking and awe-inspiring.
 
She
could be herself without worries and maybe that was the intense draw.
 
Maybe that was why she was ready to open her
legs and be the woman she’d never been allowed to be with two strong, virile
men at her side.

Yet, Britt knew her desire for Nicolas and Matthias
was more than that.
 
She was willing to
lay down her life for them, and as it seemed they were equally willing to do
the same.
 
She sensed a deeper connection
and knew they were her knights.
 
They
belonged to her as much as she did to them.
 
She had absolutely no idea how she knew it, but she did.

No.
 
She wasn’t
a whore.
 
She rarely dated and had only
had two partners, neither of which she’d truly enjoyed.
 
Now that she’d found two men who could accept
her for who she was, she had felt freed.
 
Of course she’d wanted to share that freedom with them.

She would go back to her controlled, boring life and
try to forget them both.
 
Once they let
her return, of course.

****

Nicolas landed the plane, releasing a long sigh as he
pulled the plane on to a second private airstrip.
 
He’d just piloted the most uncomfortable
flight of his life, having to listen to Britt and Matthias fight, then make
love, and then fight again.
 
He’d not
been able to hear every word of their arguments, but enough to know part of it
was about him and his involvement with the two of them.
 

He wouldn’t be the one to pull them apart, and he’d
honestly told Matthias that.
 
His friend
deserved the happiness Britt could provide him, even if it brought Nicolas
pain.
 

Nicolas strolled into the cabin, seeing both of them
lightly sleeping on either side, Matthias lounging in the chair as Britt lay on
the sofa.
 
The scent of their lovemaking
still lingered in the air, setting his teeth on edge.
 
Just because he was willing to walk away
didn’t mean it would be easy.
 
Having to
sit by idly watching their love affair would be difficult, but he was
strong.
 
He could do this.

Nicolas didn’t want to wake them, but they had a long
trek still until they made it to Alain’s castle on the
Rhine
,
and he was looking forward to a little shut-eye of his own.
 
He leaned into his friend first, shaking him
slightly.

Matthias awoke with a start, his hands going around
Nicolas’ neck.
 

“Good … morning,” Nicolas squeaked out around a
pinched windpipe.
 
Matthias immediately
released his hold once he realized who it was.

“Sorry.”
 
Matthias looked sheepish.
 
Matthias never looked sheepish.
 
Had there been a moment of intent there?
 
Had he taken an extra second to enjoy the pain he was inflicting on his
competitor?

“I need to talk to you for a moment before we awaken
her.”
 
Nicolas nodded to Britt.

Matthias crossed his arms over his chest.
 
“Talk.”

“I was honest when I said I would walk away.
 
I won’t come between you and her.”

“I doubt she wants me any longer after the things I
said last night.”

Nicolas felt a stab in the chest.
 
He wouldn’t be with her without
Matthias.
 
Nicolas wouldn’t subject
Matthias to that.
 
“I’m sure you can mollify
her somehow.”

“She wants us to share her.”

Nicolas felt shock run through him as well as a sense
of relief.
 
Until he realized that was
what the argument had hinged upon.
 
“Why
can’t we?”

Matthias jumped up, angry.
 
“You, too?
 
Or did she get to you before she suggested it
to me?”

Nicolas tried to hide his enjoyment at the idea, not
willing to enrage Matthias more.
 
“She
didn’t, I’m just asking.”

“Don’t play dumb with me.
 
I’m sure you heard the fight.”

“I heard bits and pieces, but I didn’t know she’d
asked that.
 
And no, she hadn’t asked me
prior, but I don’t see why it would be an issue if it’s what
she
wants.”

“Because whores are shared, not
women of worth.”

Nicolas turned as he heard Britt’s anguished voice,
the look on her face showing the same emotion.
 
Anger slid into him as he faced Matthias.
 
“Did you say that to her?”

Matthias looked down at his feet, not saying a word.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”
 
His gaze swung to Britt for a moment before
it swung back to Matthias.
 
“How could
you?”

“I didn’t mean it in the way she says.”
 
Matthias looked at Britt.
 
“We discussed this, you and I.
 
I thought you understood.”

“What you meant and how you made me feel are two
different things, but don’t worry. I’ll get over it.”
  
Britt turned to Nicolas.
 
“So, how much longer before I can go home?”

Nicolas felt disheartened for a second as her request
settled in.
 
He thought she understood
that was no longer an option.
 
“Home?”

“Yes.
 
That was
always the plan, right?
 
You told me I
could go home, two weeks, give or take, and then I could return.
 
Germany
is quite a distance from
home, so is this field trip going to make it longer?”

They hadn’t told her the truth, or what they suspected
was the truth, yet.
 
If she were
Gaia’s
daughter, she wouldn’t be going back to her old life
again.
 
Nicolas didn’t want to be the one
to break that to her, not in her current angry state.
 
She didn’t need to be pissed off at both of
them.