Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult
Now at last there began to be some change. Ragna's feathers were drooping, and the Princesses were wavering. Then Melody sank to her knees.
“No!” Cyrus cried in anguish.
“Yes,” Em Pathy said, returning to the scene, “Did you really think mere Sorceresses could defeat a god?”
“I did,” he said, seeing Harmony also sink.
“I'm surprised they lasted as long as this. I thought he would delete them in the first few minutes.”
“Go poop your panties, pooch.”
“In a few more minutes you will belong to me, Cyrus. Then you will welcome my panties.”
The awful thing was that he knew she meant it. She had taken a fancy to him, and would rule his emotion once the way had been cleared.
They watched as Rhythm sank to her knees. The ambiance of magic was overwhelming the three; they could not hold out much longer.
And when they lost, what of his love? A bulb flashed over his head, and such was the intensity of magic that it overheated and exploded with a pop. He could make a difference!
Cyrus jumped into the Nest and slid down its curving side to the roc's giant feet. “You big pile of piffle!” he yelled, kicking a talon, “All you can do is attack little girls!”
“Cyrus!” Em called, horrified, “Get out of there! You can't attack a god!”
He ignored her. “You must be really proud of yourself, birdbrain! Beating up on children!” He stomped the talon.
Now he got Ragna's attention. The roc glared down at him. But to do that, he had to remove his deadly gaze from the Princesses. He could not focus his magic without looking.
“Why don't you try to delete someone your own size, feather-face?” Cyrus demanded. “Don't have the nerve, Raggy?”
Ragna stirred. He tried to orient his head so that both eyes could focus on the annoyance. That gave Cyrus a notion.
“You can't delete what you can't focus on!” he yelled. “And I'm too close for you to focus, cross-eyes!”
Now there was a stir of anger. A foot twitched up. But Cyrus was already scrambling over the other foot and around to the far side of the Nest.
“Get your tail in gear!” he yelled, kicking at a tail feather. He didn't do the huge thing any damage, but his effort was surely quite annoying. “You can't catch me, birdlime!”
He definitely had Ragna's attention. The Roc half spread his wings and spun about, trying to orient his beak for an attack. But Cyrus was on his way up the side and out of the Nest.
“You're crazy!” Em called. “You're throwing your foolish life away, when you could have so much fun with me!”
“I'm having fun with Ragna Rook!” he called over his shoulder as he ran from the Nest.
Now the chase was on in earnest, Cyrus fled through the rubble of the castle, dodging from side to side in an attempt to prevent the roc from focusing on him, Ragna pursued, enraged.
“Ragna!” Em called. “Don't let him distract you from the battle! The girls aren't dead yet!”
“Sure, go back to the girls, you horrendous hunk of deleted droppings!” Cyrus encouraged him. “They're more your speed.”
“Let him go, Ragna!” Em called. “He's not worth your effort.”
The Roc ignored her sensible advice. He was trying to focus on Cyrus.
Cyrus realized as he ran that his hair was no longer standing on end. The potent aura of magic had faded; the battle with the Princesses was no longer in progress. He had succeeded in distracting the bird, as he had intended.
Cyrus dodged around a pile of half-melted rock candy, staying out of the direct line of sight. There was a crash as the pile collapsed in on itself; Cyrus realized that the Roc had deleted the bottom of it, where he had just dodged, and so the top had lost support and dropped down. He was glad he was a cyborg, with half-machine strength; otherwise he would not have gotten clear in time.
He came up on a statue of a bare nymph. Actually that was redundant; all nymphs were bare until some became real women and donned clothing. She probably represented a morsel of food rather than a stork object. He ran around her—and her fair head plunged to the floor, leaving her deleted body standing in place.
Cyrus knew he had better get where he was going soon, because otherwise he would become illusion on the way. He ran behind more rubble, then dodged back the opposite direction as it collapsed.
The way was awkward, but he was angling for the roof and the shell. He kept yelling insults and lurching in different directions, hoping that the Roc would follow without ever getting the right range. He knew he would be terrified if he ever paused to think about it.
Somehow he succeeded. There was the basket and the shell. He ran straight for them, feeling the breath of the Roc right behind him.
“A place to hide!” he cried, “He won't find me there!” He ran up a convenient pile of rubble and leaped for the huge shell. He caught the rim, and heaved himself inside. He slid down the curving inner shell. Would this ruse work?
There was an angry squawk outside. The Roc must have tried to delete the shell, and been unable. That, with luck, infuriated him. His annoying prey was escaping.
Suddenly the top darkened. Then the huge body landed inside. Cyrus barely managed to scramble out of the way of the descending mass. “Curses! He found me!” he yelled.
Ragna oriented on the sound. His eyes found Cyrus, and started to focus.
The lid slammed shut. Suddenly it was dark inside.
“Squawk?” Ragna asked, surprised.
“Listen, rock-head, the trap has sprung,” Cyrus said loudly. “This shell is made of undeleted material, and built to withstand any physical force you can apply. You are a prisoner.”
There was a shaft of light from a large peephole. Cyrus went to stand in its wan illumination. “Go ahead,” he said. “Delete me. Then you'll be entirely alone. You know they'll never let you out. They'll poke food into the hole so you won't starve, and remove your refuse, because the folk of Xanth aren't brutes, but they'll never free you.”
There was silence. The Roc was listening.
“This was my doing,” Cyrus continued. “I devised this trap, and had the ants make it, and I led you to it. It is not entirely unkind; there is a hypno-gourd here that you will be able to peek into and range the entire dream realm at your leisure. You won't be bored. But you will need a companion, if only to interrupt your eye contact occasionally so you will not starve to death. So now you have a choice: destroy me and be forever alone, or listen to the deal I proffer.”
He paused, but there was no response, so he continued. “I will arrange an exchange, if you wish: me for a roc hen to keep you company and assist with the gourd. Or any other creature you choose, who wants to be with you. Maybe Em Pathy, your translator.”
Now there was a negative squawk. “I thought not. She's loyal to you, but not your kind. You want the hen. Here is how we will arrange it: you will delete me, I'll walk through this shell and arrange for the hen to come here, you will peer at her through the peep hole, and if you are satisfied you will undelete me and delete her so she can come in here where you can undelete her. Then she will be yours forever. Is that satisfactory?”
There was half a squawk.
“Ah yes. How can you trust me to do as I promise? The answer is, you will have to. There are reasons why you wanted to recruit me to your team, and trustworthiness is one of them. I never pretended to you or your Minions that I planned to join you; I always served the other side. I was true to my commitment. I will be true to this one. But since I can't necessarily trust you, I will insist on your undeleting me before the hen joins you. I will obtain her commitment to join you after I am undeleted, and to refuse to join you if I remain deleted. That is the deal I proffer. If you don't like it, make me a counteroffer. We can surely get Em Pathy to come to the peephole to translate.”
There was a pause. Then Cyrus felt a change. His substance was gone. He had been deleted!
“Thank you,” he said. But no sound came out, because he had no solid vocal cords.
He turned and walked through the shell wall. Em Pathy was there; she had followed them. She had evidently had experience with this sort of thing before. She pointed to a fragment of slate lying beside the big basket.
Cyrus went to it and picked it up. It was deleted; it felt solid to him and came up in his hands. There was a stylus attached. He took that and wrote:
WE MADE A DEAL. BRING A ROC HEN TO SHARE HIS EXILE.
She shook her head. “They all hate him,” she said. “They have already flown the coop. None will come.”
Oops. What was he to do now?
Then Roc Ette appeared. She read his sign. She nodded.
This astonished him. BUT HE TOOK YOU BY FORCE. YOU HATE HIM WORST OF ALL.
She nodded again.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
“I do,” Em said. “She wants to make him absolutely miserable for the rest of his life. This is how.”
This astounded him. I PROMISED HIM A FAIR DEAL. THIS IS NOT THAT.
But Ette went to stand in the view of the peephole. She was ready to go.
Cyrus hurried to print another message, RAGNA. THIS IS NOT WHAT I PROMISED. SHE HATES YOU.
He felt the change. The plaque was no longer solid in his grasp. He had been undeleted.
Ette glanced at him, satisfied. Then she walked to the shell. She walked through its wall and disappeared inside.
“He accepted the exchange,” Cyrus said. “But he had to know what was on her mind.”
“He did. But any hen is better than no hen, and she was the prettiest in his harem. He doesn't mind that she hates him.” Her mouth quirked. “He's male.”
The bewilderment was wearing off, like his lost memory. “What about you, then? Your master is gone.”
“I remain loyal. I will supervise the supply of food, to be sure he is not mistreated. Go to your Princess. If she is dead, I will still be here. I will make you forget.”
A bulb flashed over his head, and this one didn't explode. “Like Ette! You want to make the rest of my life miserable.”
“Oh, yes,” she agreed. “And you will agree. If your child bride is gone.”
Cyrus rather feared he would. But there were other details to attend to. “Where is Kadence?”
“I am here,” Kadence called. “With Anona and the ants. There's a crisis.”
“A what?”
“All this was too much for the Queen Pique Ant. She has decided to retire. That leaves the Hill without a queen. They don't know what to do.”
Cyrus smiled. “Fortunately, I do, Anona, take another bite of royal jelly. That will make you fully female, and you will be the new queen. You have earned it.”
Even from this distance he felt Anona's thought. Oh!
“But we must revive the Princesses,” Cyrus said. “So they can send all the ants back to their Hill.” That was hardly the only reason. Had he diverted Ragna in time?
“Yes,” Kadence agreed.
The two of them, and Anona riding in Kadence's hair, made their way back to the Nest.
A woman was there, bending over the still forms of the Princesses. “Who are you?” Cyrus demanded.
“I am Princess Ivy, their mother,” the woman replied. “I felt my beloved children in danger, and had to come. And who are you?”
Cyrus was shaken, and unable to respond immediately.
“He is my father, Cyrus Cyborg,” Kadence said. “And Princess Rhythm is my mother.”
Ivy was shocked. “Your what!”
Kadence smiled disarmingly. “Hello, Grandma Ivy. We just saved Xanth from Ragna Roc.”
Something crossed Ivy's face, but it was not exactly joy. “I'll deal with this in a moment.” She put her hands on Melody.
In a stretched moment Melody's eyelids fluttered. She woke. “Mother!” she said tearily, “You came!”
“Of course I came, dear,” Ivy said, “Who else could Enhance you back to wellness? Now let me tend to your sister.”
Melody sat up and saw the others. “Mother's Sorceress talent is Enhancement,” she said. “She can make any good quality better. She just Enhanced my deleted will to live.”
“You girls need better supervision.” Ivy fussed as she put her hands on Harmony. “You know you had no business getting into a mess like this.”
“Yes, Mother,” Melody answered with just a hint of a ghost of a smile. Then she looked at Kadence. “Did it work?”
“Yes. Aunt Melody. Father led Ragna into the shell, and Roc Ette slammed the lid on, and now she's in there with him.”
“Ouch!” Melody said. “Poor Ragna.”
They laughed.
Harmony was slower to revive. “This is awful,” Ivy said. “I can barely manage her.”
“Oh, you used up most of your power on me,” Melody said. “I'm sorry.”
“The three of you tackling a creature like that, without your father or I knowing,” Ivy fussed. “Whatever possessed you?”
“We're naughty girls,” Melody confessed. “But we're older than we look.”
Finally Harmony revived. “Mother! You're here!”
“Yes I am,” Ivy said. She looked worn. “But I fear I lack the power to save Rhythm. You're all simply too depleted.” Tears were running down her face.
“But if you don't Enhance her, she'll sink into illusion and be lost forever,” Melody wailed.
“I know. But the three of you were struck by terrible magic. You never should have tackled Ragna Roc alone. We shall have to learn to survive without Rhythm.” She was clearly grief-stricken but exhausted.
“No!” Melody cried.
“There must be something,” Harmony agreed.
There was no conclusion from Rhythm. She lay there, almost as still as death.
Cyrus was devastated. “Rhythm!” he cried, gazing at the still form. “You can't go! I love you!” He flung himself down and kissed her passionately on the mouth.
At first she was passive. Then she began to respond. Finally she kissed him back, ardently.
As their kiss broke, he lifted her and held her against him. “Oh, Rhythm! I couldn't let you go.”
She smiled weakly. “Let's get married, Cyrus.”
Then they became aware of the others. Rhythm turned and saw her sisters and mother, “Hi,” she said faintly.
“You're a child!” Ivy said severely.
“Mother,” Melody said, “He revived her.”
“Mother,” Harmony agreed, “He saved her life.”
“Mother,” Rhythm concluded. “I'm seventeen, really. I love him.”