Unattainable (27 page)

For a moment neither of them moved,
then Tegen’s mouth opened and Cage internally winced, waiting for
her to lay into him. But instead of speaking, her breath shuddered
heavily from her chest and her mouth closed. Opened again.
Closed.

“
Okay,” she whispered and
he could see the fear in her green eyes. It matched the fear inside
of him, the fear that he was making the wrong decision, that they
didn’t work together, that this would end up in a catastrophe of
fucking and fighting.

Only thing was…the happiness he felt
far outweighed his fears.

Muttering curses, Deuce continued
quickly down the back hall until he reached Jase’s room. Grabbing
the knob, he twisted and pushed open the door. As soon as it closed
behind him, he shrugged out of his cut and pulled his T-shirt over
his head, then flung both garments across the room. Still cursing,
he reached for his belt buckle, stopping when a pair of small, soft
hands covered his own.

Eva’s big gray eyes met his. “Baby,”
she said softly. “You need to calm down.”

“
Yeah,” he muttered,
pushing her hands away. “Not gonna happen, babe. I’m the stupid
fuck who knocked your ass up again. Already got enough fuckin’
problems, don’t need to add losin’ you to my fuckin’
list.”

“
You wanted more
kids.”

Shoving down his jeans, Deuce stepped
out of them and, turning away from his wife, headed for the
bathroom.

“
Yeah,” he mumbled to
himself. “’Cause I fuckin’ look at your ass and get hard. Fact
remains that you shouldn’t be havin’ babies.”

“
Hey!” Eva snapped and he
stopped walking and turned to look at her.

“
Plenty of women have
children when they’re older than I am.”

Snorting, he shook his head. “I ain’t
just talkin’ about you. I ain’t callin’ you old, babe. I’m callin’
me old. Almost sixty, Eva. What kinda fuckin’ father am I gonna be
to that kid? Be teachin’ him or her how to ride when I can’t even
fuckin’ walk myself?”

Eva burst out laughing. “Can’t walk?”
she said between gasps. “You? Baby, you are more in shape than half
your boys! I mean…” She trailed off and Deuce watched her eyes roam
slowly down and back up his body. Her eyes darkened and her
expression changed.

“
You’re beautiful,” she
whispered, meeting his gaze.

His nostrils flared. “Don’t start your
shit with me, bitch,” he said, his voice low, his eyes shooting
toward where his youngest daughter lay sleeping on the couch. “When
you can’t fuckin’ finish it.”

Eva’s answering grin caused his body to
tighten. Even now, he was almost sixty and her pushing forty and he
still couldn’t fucking get enough of her. Or that crazy way she
looked at him. Soft. Needy. Full of everything he lacked inside of
him. It was the same way she’d looked at him when she was sixteen
years old, sitting on a picnic table, ready to throw away her
entire life…for him. A beaten down, bitter criminal eighteen years
older than her.

“
Bathroom,” she said,
pointing.

He shook his head. “Only thing I’m
gonna be doin’ in that bathroom is washin’ the stink off my old
fuckin’ body.”

Eva’s nose wrinkled. “I’m pregnant and
horny and you are so, so, no fucking fun.”

Laughing softly, he resumed walking.
“Told you, babe, I’m fuckin’ old.”

“
Old-fashioned,” she
muttered, following behind him.

Inside the bathroom, Deuce bent down
over the tub and turned the shower on while Eva pushed herself up
onto the bathroom counter top. Leaning back against the wall, she
placed both her hands on her still small but swollen stomach and
sighed.

“
It’s a boy,” she said,
smiling fondly.

Deuce’s eyes flared. “You fuckin’ found
that shit out even after I told you I didn’t want us
knowin’?”

Smiling cheekily, she shook her head.
“Nope. I just have a feeling.”

Shaking his head, he dropped his boxers
and stepped inside the tub. Leaving the curtain open, he watched
Eva watching him.

“
He looks like you, you
know.”

“
You got x-ray
vision?”

Laughing, Eva shook her head. “No.
Cage. Cage looks just like you at that age.”

Deuce grimaced. “Fuckin’ great. Too
fuckin’ bad he ain’t got his head on straight.”

Eva lifted her shoulder. “Tegen may
change that,” she said, studying him.

Closing his eyes, Deuce tilted his face
up under the steady stream of hot water and breathed out a sigh.
“’Bout fuckin’ time those two worked out their crazy fuckin’
bullshit. Now maybe we can all get back to livin’ instead of
dwellin’ on bullshit none of us can fuckin’ change.”

“
I think it’s more than
that,” Eva continued. “Mick told me how upset he got when he found
out about ZZ.”

Grabbing the bar of soap on the ledge,
Deuce ran it quickly up and down his body. “Better not be,” he
grumbled. “Bitch like Tegen ain’t cut out for this life. When I
pass that fuckin’ gavel, Cage is gonna need an old lady that’s
gonna stand by him, not be bitchin’ ’bout every little
thing.”

“
Cut her some slack,” Eva
said. “Look what happened to her mom.”

Deuce’s eyes cut in Eva’s direction.
“Babe,” he bit out. “No fuckin’ shit. I feel for the kid, you know
I do. Been takin’ care of her as much as she’ll let me but the
truth fuckin’ stands, she ain’t old lady material. Her endin’ up
with Cage means she’ll be where you are now and she ain’t got the
right attitude for it. She’s still spittin’ mad, probably always
gonna be too. Can’t have my club and my boys’ families fallin’
apart ’cause Tegen don’t know her fuckin’ place.”

“
She loves your son,
Deuce,” Eva said softly. “Always has. Doesn’t that count for
something?”

Cursing, Deuce slammed the water off
and stepped out of the shower. Reaching over the counter, Eva
snagged a towel from the rack and tossed it in his direction. He
dried off quickly and tossed the towel to the floor. Crossing the
small distance between them, Deuce placed his hands on either side
of Eva and leaned forward.

“
Don’t count for shit,” he
said gruffly. “Not here, babe. You love the man, you love the life.
Simple as that. You know this fuckin’ shit.”

“
And what if he loves her,
too?”

Deuce paused. “You fuckin’ shittin’ me?
Cage? You think he’s hard up for that little shit?”

Eva shrugged. “I think he could be.
From what I saw, I think he’s nearly there.”

Not good. The last thing he needed was
his only son falling balls-deep into something with a crazy hippie.
Next thing he’d know, Cage would be running off to San Francisco
wearing flowers in his hair or some stupid shit and then what? He’d
be handing his club over to Ripper?

Fuck that bullshit. Ripper got his baby
girl and that was all that fucking asshole was getting.

If what Eva said was true, that Cage
was about to get caught up in a pussy full of quicksand, he was
going to squash that shit. Right the fuck now.

“
Come here, babe,” he
said, hooking his hands underneath Eva’s arms and sliding her
forward. “You want dick, you gotta five-minute window before I
start snorin’.”

Eva pressed her lips together and her
eyes danced with laughter.

“
I love you,” she said,
giggling.

He snorted. “Babe. Yeah.”

At the edge of town, the drop-off
point, Dirty shut off his engine but remained seated on his bike.
He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to keep his shit together.
Not when he came face-to-face with Mooresville. Not after spending
an entire weekend and then some seeing Ellie smile, listening to
her laugh, watching her sleep from his makeshift bedroll on the
floor, just taking it all in. Her light snoring, her
sleepy-sounding murmurs and leg twitches, her kicking the sheets
off, allowing him to see her T-shirt riding up her body, exposing
her smooth stomach.

He hadn’t slept in days, afraid of
having another nightmare and attacking her again, but he didn’t
care. He was too wrapped up in her, shocked, confused, out of his
mind, thinking constantly about the sound of his real name, the
movement of her generous mouth as she said it, the feel of her wet
skin under his hands, the pleading look in the alleyway.

He wanted to fuck her so bad it hurt.
It hurt because he was terrified. Scared to death.

He’d been raped by a woman, raped by a
man, and he’d raped women.

He’d never been with a woman. Not in
the way other men were with women.

And he’d never kissed a
woman.

Ever.

Fuck him, forget kissing, he couldn’t
stand being touched. The thought of Ellie touching him…like
that…gave him an erection from hell even as his skin crawled,
rippling with disgust.

Yeah. Fuck that shit. Him and Ellie;
that was never going to happen unless he dosed her. Which he was
not going to do.

What he was going to do was make sure
Mooresville either went to ground or kept his motherfucking
distance.

Because, the one thing he did know for
certain was that he didn’t want Ellie to leave. He wanted more
smiles. More laughter. He just wanted to be around her. Or at least
in the same town as her.

Maybe he could take her for a ride
sometime…on the back of his bike.

“
Fuck you!”

Dirty glanced over and found Cage up in
Cox’s face, shoving the brother backward.

“
Fuckin’ touch me again,
little boy,” Cox growled. “And I will end you.”

Cage’s nostrils flared wildly. “Fuckin’
end me, you stupid spic motherfucker, fuckin’ do it!”

“
I’m gonna end both of you
if you don’t shut the fuck up!” Deuce roared.

Dirty rolled his eyes and looked away.
Cage had been straight-up out of his mind ever since he’d woken up
Tuesday morning and found that Tegen had snuck out in the middle of
the night. He’d been drinking excessively ever since, picking
fights and just plain being miserable.

Fucking women drama. Dirty shook his
head. Maybe he should be glad he couldn’t be in any sort of normal
relationship with a female. If the couples around him were examples
of what relationships were like, he sort of felt lucky. He damn
sure wasn’t emotionally equipped to deal with crazy bitches like
Kami, Tegen, or even Danny, because as normal as she seemed, she’d
killed a woman. Put two bullets in Ripper’s ex-girlfriend.
Something like that definitely constituted as
woman-crazy.

“
Dirty.”

He glanced up to find Deuce standing
beside him.

“
Prez?”

“
Dumbass is shitfaced,”
Deuce said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder in Cage’s
direction.

Well…duh. Cage hadn’t stopped drinking
since yesterday morning.

“
Need you to sit ’im,
bitch, and take his ass home.”

Dirty’s brow hit his hairline.
“Now?

“
Yeah, fuckin’ now. You
think I need him actin’ like this once Mooresville and his boys
show up? Or how about for the fuckin’ drop-off. Tension’s gonna be
high, everybody’s already expectin’ a fight. I don’t need my
fuckin’ kid actin’ crazy ’cause he lost his brand new
pussy.”

“
I can fuckin’ hear you,”
Cage slurred. “And I ain’t ridin’ bitch
no-fuckin’-where.”

They both ignored him.

“
Find someone else,” Dirty
said. No way was he leaving, not before he saw the
chief.

“
No,” Deuce said. “I’m
givin’ you an order, Dirty. Which means you fuckin’ do
it.”

“
Don’t do this, Prez,”
Dirty said quickly as he jumped off his bike and got to his feet.
“I need to be here. I need to make sure—”

Deuce grabbed his jacket collar and
yanked him over his bike, then with a hard shove sent him stumbling
backward.

“
You think I don’t know
what you fuckin’ need?” he yelled, advancing on him. “I been takin’
care of everything you needed since you were just a damn kid!
Didn’t matter what or
who
you fuckin’ needed, I’ve always
taken care of it, yeah?”

Dirty’s hands fisted at his sides. “You
don’t fuckin’ get it, this isn’t—”

“
I DON’T FUCKIN’ GET
IT?”

Deuce’s thick arm shot out and his hand
wrapped around Dirty’s throat. “I get it, Dirty,” Deuce growled
low, bringing them face-to-face. “I fuckin’ get it. It’s you who
ain’t gettin’ it. We got a lot of bank rollin’ our way tonight and
if this shit gets screwed up ’cause you’re feelin’ a woman for the
first time in your life, I will put your sick and twisted ass into
the ground.”

Dirty’s adrenaline skyrocketed, causing
his blood to race through his veins, his heart to pound harder, and
his hands to shake. Deuce had never talked to him like this.
Never.

“
I’ve been lettin’ you run
wild since I brought you here, doin’ whatever the fuck you felt
like doin’, but it ain’t fuckin’ happenin’ tonight, not with the
motherfuckin’ Russians. We need this shit to go down, the club
needs this, and the fuckin’ Demons need this to go down without any
bullshit. I get you’re givin’ a fuck about Ellie, I give a fuck
too, but I give way more fucks about my boys and my family than I
do some bitch that nearly got her ass killed ’cause she got drunk
with the wrong fuckin’ man.”