Unbearable Desire (Paranormal Bear Shifter Romance) (Bear Valley Clan Book 1) (3 page)

Kai sat back on his haunches in confusion. A fated mate was undeniable, but he couldn't understand why she was his. 

The only thing he knew to do was run.

Kai thundered through the woods, his four paws covering the miles like they were nothing. He needed to get back to the den, back where he could shift in safety and speak in his human voice to those who understood.

When he had first caught her scent on the breeze, he thought he could tell everything he knew about her. But that moment of eye-to-eye contact had shaken him to his very core.  Actually seeing her and hearing her lilting voice as she addressed him without fear had nearly made him shift right in front of her eyes and reveal himself.  He had almost broken the taboo right then and there.

A branch tangled in his black fur as he careened down the side of the mountain, ripping out a big chunk.  But Kai didn't slow or pause to lick his wound. It was too important that he get back to his den.

The huge den of the Bear Valley Clan was hidden from view by a large fallen boulder. He skirted around the rock and skidded to a halt at the mouth of the cave.

An unfamiliar bear was there, and in his headlong rush he hadn't recognized the dangerous scent until right now.

He roared and stood up on his hind legs, issuing the challenge instantly. He was alpha of this clan, and he would strike down this intruder for daring to trespass in his territory.

Instantly the air around the strange bear began to shimmer. The vibrations concentrated down to a pinpoint and suddenly a man, broad and tall and completely naked stood before Kai's claws.

"I am Mathe, of the Falls Creek Clan. Stand down, Kai."

Kai growled low in his throat but complied. He pulled back on his bear, constricting himself inside of himself until he stepped forward in his human form and grasped hands with the peace ambassador.

"I am glad you are here, Mathe," Kai said, assessing the newcomer with a quick sweep of his eyes.  "I apologize for not recognizing your bear form."

The ambassador laughed and Kai watched him carefully. The two of them were evenly matched in strength and size, but it was clear that Mathe was no alpha. Kai bristled at the insult that the Falls Creek Clan had shown him by sending a shifter to negotiate that was not his equal.

But that insult would be addressed later. For now the rules of hospitality must be observed.

Mathe nodded his head, still considering Kai's greeting. "It is understandable, instincts and all.  My clan prefers to speak all communication, rather than use the telepathic link, will that be all right with you?"

Kai bristled again. "Then we would be starting without the assumption of trust." The telepathic link between bear shifters was a necessity in his eyes.  Words could be untrue, but feelings never were.

"I understand," Mathe said, empathy showing in his pale eyes, and suddenly Kai understood why this bear had been sent for the talks. He was an omega, the emotional link. He played an integral role in the health and well-being of any healthy clan.

The last omega of the Bear Valley Clan had died over forty years ago.  And with his passing, the clan had slowly fallen apart over the years. The old alpha renounced his bearhood not long after omega's death, choosing human life and turning his back on his clan. His heir had retreated to the shadows, brooding and resentful and unfit to assume the alpha's role. Kai had been a yearling then, too young to truly understand the duties of the alpha, but he saw where he was needed. By the time he had fully grown into the role, his clan had dwindled down to a hardy few: Faron, his beta and best friend, old, surly Lorn, the young twins Keir and Lew who still stuck close to their mother Ayla in spite of being near mating age, Dov, his resentful rival, and sickly Turi who still pined for his mate ten years after her death.

They were too small. There was only one female among them, and Ayla had refused to breed while she was raising Keir and Lew. Faron was of mating age, but with no females in the clan, he spent his days frustrated, sparring with the twins and hunting down game for the clan to share.  Lorn had never mated, a taboo that would have had him kicked out of a larger clan, but Kai couldn't afford to lose anyone. Including Dov. As happy as it would have made him to send the confrontational and bitter would-be-alpha off to attempt to start his own clan, the fact remained that he couldn't afford to lose a strong, seasoned hunter.  And he couldn't afford to have Dov attempting to poach his own clanmates. He needed to grow his numbers, not shrink them.

And that was where the idea of merging with the Falls Creek Clan has arisen.

Their ranges overlapped, the border changing with the Pechin river which twisted and turned and changed its bed several times a season. The bears of the Falls were much more human, often sending their young into the valley to blend in with the humans and learn their ways. Though he abhorred those kind of concessions on principle, Kai had to be pragmatic. Without new blood, his clan faced extinction and with it a line that went back for centuries in these peaks. He would not let them die out on his watch.

Most importantly, the Falls Creek Clan had females of breeding age. That was the driving force behind the peace talks he had demanded. He had forced Marrok, the alpha of the Falls Creek Clan to begin the merger, though the old bear had been suspicious and unwilling. But Kai had stood firm. The price he demanded for foraging on his land after the fire was to give him their land as well.

It was a triumph of his strategy as an alpha, and Kai should have been proud.

But even as he considered the future, his mind wandered back up the peak to that human in the woods.

She was his mate; there was no denying that pull. But taking humans as mates was taboo, ever since old Gray had lost himself to humanity and abandoned the clan. Was he following in the old alpha's treacherous footsteps?

Kai shook his head. No, he was not.  He was better than his predecessor.  He was a true leader, concerned with the future of his clan and with growing and expanding their territory. He would forget that human woman and mate with a bear. That was his destiny as a true alpha.

The breeze played gently with his hair as he and Mathe descended into the massive den. The scent of his mate called to him again, following him deep into the cavern, unwilling to be ignored.

After he settled Mathe into the guest den, Kai eyed the old human clothes that lay bundled in the corner of his own quarters.  He didn't dare let his thoughts stray on them for too long. Faron would sense his feelings through the telepathic link and then all would be lost. Dov was always sniffing at his heels, waiting for some misstep to foment rebellion.  And he needed to watch himself around Mathe too. As a trained omega, the ambassador would surely be able to discern his deepest desires with ease.

Instead Kai took the old clothes and rolled them up into a pillow to rest his head on while he dreamed of his lost mate.

"What was that Gran?" I ran to my grandmother excitedly.

"Ellie, you're Ellie," she repeated, her normally creaking voice strong and commanding.

I knelt before her and took her withered hands into mine, clasping them tightly but careful not to hurt her.  "That's right, Granny, I'm Noelle. I'm your little Elliebelle."

Her pale eyes were staring right at me with more lucidity that I had seen in weeks. "You need to watch yourself, Ellie," she chastened me.

I pressed my lips together. After weeks of waiting on her hand and foot, this was certainly not the conversation I expected us to be having. "Why is that, Gran?"

"Because the bears want you. And when bears want you, there is no way you can say no."

I settled back onto my heels, disappointment flooding through me. She wasn't lucid at all. She was still locked in her fantasy world. "Okay Granny," I sighed. "I'll watch out."

I made to stand up, but she clutched my hand to her chest fiercely, her long fingernails digging into my wrist like claws. "You're a bear!" she practically screamed. "I am telling you!" Then she suddenly crumpled, her head falling down to her chest as her frail shoulders heaved up and down, wracked with sobs. "I loved him," she moaned, "but I wasn't enough."

I felt tears prick at my own eyes. "Gran, are you talking about Pa?"

"He promised me," she sniffled, "and I believed him. Because an alpha keeps his word, that's what he told me, dammit." Her eyes blazed with sudden anger. "I am still waiting for him. I kept my goddamn word. What about him?"

"He was wrong to leave you," I soothed, patting her hand. "We all know it was wrong."

"No!" she shouted. "He needed to go." Then her face crumpled again. "But he could at least come visit me some time."

I held her head as she cried. Her words made no sense to me, and yet I could feel that they came from the last lucid part of her. The haunted look in her eyes unnerved me.  There was none of her usual faraway stare.  No, right now she was looking right at me, her eyes as clear and sharp and as sorrowful as I have ever seen.

When my Pa disappeared, it was truly that. He was there and then he was gone. That morning my Gran slipped out of bed to prepare their breakfast, same as every morning for their nearly thirty-five years of marriage. My grandfather was still in bed, curled up snoring under the covers. 

My Gran stepped outside to gather wood for the fire. As she told it, she heard a noise in the woods and looked off to see what it was. Whatever was moving through the woods was large and heavy.  She immediately ran back into the safety of the cabin, afraid of being cornered by a hungry bear.

When she entered the cabin again, she noticed a cold wind blowing through the room. Glancing in the bedroom, she saw an open window.

And my grandfather was gone.

When at last her sobs quieted, I watched in despair as the cloud came back over her eyes. The animated spark was gone and with it her ability to communicate.  Her head lolled back and then rolled to the side and she was asleep in an instant.

I pushed her blankets underneath her chin to cushion her shoulder and stood up. Just like it had in the woods with the strange bear, that moment of interaction only intensified my loneliness. I thought about heading down the mountain to the market, but that would mean leaving Gran too long. 

As I cast about for what to do, I spied a red flash out the kitchen window. The robin zoomed through the field and alighted in her now completed nest. It was almost obscured by the budding leaves now, but I could see her fussy, flickering tail and realized that she had laid her eggs already. 

Time was marching along, but inside this cabin we were frozen in place.

Once more the need to move took over. I pulled on a sweater, the spring air was too warm for my snow jacket, and stepped out on to the porch.

This time I moved directly to the treeline, letting the exertions clear my head of my grandmother's cryptic words. My heart thumped in my ears and my blood pumped through my veins as I pushed myself to walk faster and climb higher.  I hadn't hiked since my encounter with the bear and as I moved through the trees, I realized how much I missed it. Being in the forest was cleansing. It made me feel alive, especially after feeling so stifled indoors.

I heard the trickling sound of water and moved towards it.  The snowmelt was slowing now, so the stream that plunged down the mountain in a series of waterfalls was not the raging torrent it was earlier in the season.  I wondered if the Pechin River had flooded its banks this year.

As I neared the water, I spied a flash of color through the trees and froze. That was not a color seen in nature.  There was a person on the shore.

Kai stood up when he heard her. His bear slammed inside of him, desperate to shift and go tearing off towards his mate, but Kai knew he needed to be careful. Even showing her his human form this way was a taboo.

"Hello!" he called and for once his human voice wasn't rusty with disuse. Mathe had been staying in the den for a whole moon, learning the ways of the clan and observing their bonds as a unit.  Though Kai chafed at the deliberate slowness of the proceedings, he had to admit that it was doing his small clan good to have an omega walk among them again.

In deference to the ambassador's preference, Kai had been spending more and more time as a human. He found that he liked the elegance of moving through the woods on two limbs, though he missed the power that came with being a bear. He felt puny and weak when human, but also strangely happy. Things that frightened and confused his bear made more sense as a human. The world itself made more sense as a human. He almost understood why Gray had forsaken his clan.

But that was treason.

The human woman stood on the far bank, eying him hesitantly. She seemed more afraid of him as a human than as a bear, which seemed strange to Kai. As a bear he could kill her with one stroke of his paw, but as a human he posed much less of a threat.

She didn't seem to understand that.

"Hello?" he called again. "Are you frightened?"

As soon as he said the words, he cringed. Humans did not like to answer direct questions about their feelings. They were not telepathic.  He had to remember that.

Even so, he could feel her emotions rolling off of her in waves. She was shocked at seeing him there. She was confused as to what he was doing in the forest in what she considered to be her territory. She was frightened that he would hurt her for some reason. But she was also very curious about him. And more than anything she wanted someone to talk to.

Kai stretched his face into a wide smile, a motion that always struck him as odd. Baring ones teeth as a bear was a sign of aggression, but humans used smiling as a sign of happiness. And affection.

She smiled back at him, tentatively, but genuinely and Kai sighed in relief. "Hello there, are you a hiker?"

Kai had heard that word before. It was what humans called other humans who liked walking in the woods. "Yes I am," he answered.  "I am a hiker."

She giggled a little over the noise of the water. "Where did you find those clothes?" she called.

Kai looked down at the old clothes he had pulled from Gray's belongings. He had been sleeping with them pillowed under his head for a moon now, as he considered his next move. His nights had been filled with restless dreams of his mate and his days spent with the agonizing whiff of her scent in his nostrils. When he finally made his decision to come up the peak in human form, these were the only clothes he had available to cover his nakedness.

"They are old, I know," he nodded, looking at the threadbare flannel and the patched jeans.

"They look like something my grandfather would wear," she mused.  "Vintage."

Kai wasn’t sure what that meant, but he heard humor in her thoughts, so he smiled. "Yes, they are vintage, definitely,"

He watched her as she moved closer and it was all he could do not to flair his nostrils to inhale every bit of her. The way she moved, the way she spoke, even the way her skin glowed pink with exertion, everything about her was captivating.

Even if he wasn't sure she was destined to be his mate, his human and his bear both would have found her desirable.  Her light hair was the deep gold of honey and her eyes were like the clear autumn sky. She was softly rounded in a way that made his groin ache.  He longed to bury his face into the place where her swooping neck met her soft shoulder and inhale deeply.  He wanted to press his hands into the hollow of her waist and brush them along the curve of her hips, cupping her buttocks in his hands as she looked up at him with those deep blue eyes.  He wanted his kiss to be what brought that bloom to her cheek.

He wanted her. That was what it came down to. He wanted to protect her and provide for her and claim her for his own. That alpha feeling that kept him aware of the needs of his clan was tenfold when it came to her.

"Do you usually wear vintage clothes to go hiking in?" the woman asked.

Kai felt her intended humor and forced his lips into a smile.  "What should I wear then?"

"I don't know," she mused, stepping closer to the bank. Kai eyed the ground warily. If the banks gave way, she would tumble headlong into the freezing torrent, and he would not have the strength to save her in his human form. "I haven't seen a hiker in a while. I'm not up on the latest trends. Maybe vintage hiking duds are the in thing now?"

There was an ominous splash as the sodden soil shifted under her foot.  Kai moved his human hands helplessly. "Please be careful!" he called. 

"Oops!" she cried as the slippery mud shifted under her shoes. She went down on her rear end heavily and for a heart-stopping moment, Kai thought she was going to keep sliding. But she quickly twisted herself around and grabbed hold of a protruding tree root, stopping her fall.

"Are you hurt?" he cried.

"Um!" she shouted, flat on her belly. "No, but I'm afraid to let go!"

"Don't! I will help you."

"You're on the other side!"

Kai considered. The sides were too steep to jump safely.  She was turned away from him, concentrating on holding the root.

"Please avert your eyes!"

"What?!"

Kai threw off the old clothes in a heap on the ground. Then he freed his bear.

The upward surge from inside of him was always exhilarating. He felt his muscles stretch and elongate, bulking over one another as the power surged through him. His fingernails lengthened into claws and he fell forward onto heavy footpads.

Grabbing his clothes in his jaws, he splashed across the stream in two bounds. As he leapt upward onto the far bank, he pushed his bear back down again, forcing the animal to constrict itself to fit back into the human skin.

"Did you just...jump all the way..?" The woman was craning her neck at him.

"Grab my hand," he instructed.

She looked at him, her expression one of complete bewilderment, but extended her free hand to him. He hauled her easily up the bank and she collapsed forward onto her hands and knees.

"Um, thanks," she murmured.

"Are you hurt?"

"Just my pride," she sighed, and then turned away from him. "Hey, uh, could you put your clothes back on?'

Kai looked down at his nakedness and cursed inwardly. "I apologize," he said, shrugging into the threadbare flannel. "I was only trying to ford the stream quickly. Clothes would have weighed me down.

"You sure were quick," the woman laughed. "I've never seen anyone move so fast in my life.

Kai shrugged, pulling the jeans up over his narrow hips and buttoning the fly.

As soon as his member was hidden, the woman looked him full in the face again. She stood up, wiping the mud from her hands and extending one of them. "I'm Noelle," she told him. "Thanks for saving me."

Kai looked at her hand and imitated her movement. Her small hand darted out and clasped his.

Her touch electrified him. His bear went crazy, banging around inside his skin and roaring to be freed. The animal inside of him wanted to take her, right now, right here. It would claim her and impregnate her with his heir right on this streambed.

Noelle was watching him as he struggled to regain mastery over his bear. "I feel like I should be asking if you're okay," she said warily

Kai inhaled deeply. It was no use, her scent was everywhere. "I am having some difficulty," he admitted.

"How long have you been out here?" she asked.

Kai blinked in confusion, then realized she thought he had been camping. "A while," he told her.

"You're probably not getting enough food, makes you woozy." she said. "My cabin is not far from here. You are welcome to come back with me and grab something to eat. I kind of owe you for rescuing me and all."  She looked down at her muddy clothes and sniffed. "I need to change anyway."

He was about to nod, when he considered something. "You live at the old woman's house."

She looked at him with furrowed brows. "Yes, I do. How did you know that?"

"It's the only dwelling in the area."

"I know, my Gran is sick and she needed someone to care for her."

Kai felt a twinge in his heart. "That is noble," he said, feeling the tug of a smile pull at his lips. 

Noelle's lips parted slightly in surprise, then she shook her head.  "Not noble in the slightest, I'm going stir-crazy."

Kai didn't understand.  He reached out with his thoughts, feeling out her emotions.  He felt guilt swirling around her, along with loneliness, resentment and a deep sorrow.  He felt his hands move as if to ward off the storm around her and fold her in to his chest, where he could care for her. 

Noelle looked down at his hands and shied away.  Quickly he planted them firmly at his sides.  It was not time yet.  She didn't trust him yet, but she would.

"Follow me," Noelle sighed, turning back to head into the trees.  Kai watched her move nimbly under a tree branch and stride confidently back into the woods. 

He could scent the familiar smell of the cabin from way off.  It had been a part of the landscape for so long that Kai now thought of it as yet another tree or rock, something to take note of and then move on. The old woman had lived alone for nearly as long as he could remember, keeping her lonely vigil there in the peaks, away from her own kind. Though she had family visiting her, family, he now realized with a start, that included the woman before him, the majority of her time was spent alone.

The notion had never sat well with Kai. One needed ones own kind. Solitude was unhealthy. A sense of belonging was one of the first things a cub learned.

Knowing that the old woman was being cared for by her family eased a worry he didn't know he had. A rush of affection for the exquisite creature in front of him came out of nowhere. He moved towards her and fell in step by her side..

Though Kai knew a better way, he still followed Noelle, letting her lead him through the forest back to the cabin.  It was enough for him just to be near her, hearing the faint sips of breath, listening to the beating of her heart. Being near her gave him a strange sense of completeness he hadn't known he was missing.

"Where are you camping?" Noelle asked him after a long period of quiet.

"Down at the base of the mountain," Kai replied. It was forbidden to reveal the location of the den, and yet he was too far-gone to care about taboos anymore.

"Really? Wow, you climbed all the way up here today?"

"It was not hard.  I know some shortcuts."

Noelle laughed. "That doesn't surprise me after how fast you crossed the stream. Are you sure you can't fly?"

Kai heard the humor in her voice and felt his cheeks stretching without even forcing them to. She had made him smile for real, for the very first time.

"I am quite positive," he answered seriously. "Though, I can run very fast."

"I believe it," she said. "How fast?"

"I am the fastest," he declared.

"Oh!" she laughed. "That sounds like a challenge."

"Not exactly. I don't challenge those who have no hope of winning."

"Geez.  Tough guy."

Kai felt her disappointment. "But," he interjected, "I would give you a head start."

"You don't even know where we're racing to."

"Your cabin."

"You know how to get there?" She seemed instantly guarded.

"Why does that scare you?"

"It's...creepy."

"I don't understand."

Noelle's cheek flamed red. "Look, thanks for saving me and all that shit, but you're going to have to go back to your camp now." She stopped and planted her feet wide apart and crossed her arms. Kai recognized the stance of an alpha asserting her dominance in her pose and his bear raised the hackles of its neck at the challenge.

But at the same time he admired her fire. She was small, even compared to his human form, and soft, not formed for fighting. Yet she was challenging him and ordering him to leave. He wanted to smile but something told him that would only anger her further.

"I meant no offense," he said, bowing his head and backing up.  He lowered his chin and lifted his eyes to her in a gesture of submission. 

Her breath caught and she gasped, turning pale with fear. And then, before Kai could even react, she turned and fled through the trees.