Underestimated Too (45 page)

My mother and Justin came in that afternoon. It was
so surreal seeing him like this. I tried my best to talk to them, sound happy,
and not think about what Drew had said. Luckily they didn’t stay long. The
doctor told them it was time for my meds and I’d be asleep for at least three
hours.

“Take care of yourself and get out of here,” Justin
smiled, kissing my cheek.

I smiled back. “You know I’m never going to get used
to hearing that man’s voice come out of your mouth, don’t you? You’re supposed
to be a cute little boy with seven freckles on his nose,” I teased.

“I still have three,” he teased back.

And sleep once again took over my body.

I hated the first week I was home after that
incident. I hardly saw Drew at all. He was avoiding me. He used the excuse of
having to work late to avoid coming to bed with me. Drew made sure I took the
pills that made me sleep for hours. I slept, ate, played with Nicky, and
waited, waited for Drew to get over this and come to me. He wasn’t doing it.

“Drew wanted me to help you pack,” Marta said,
coming into Nicholas’s room with us.

“Pack for what?”

“He said you were going to the beach house for a
while.”

“I’m not.”

“Drew said the plane was going to be ready at
three.”

“Marta, I’m not leaving,” I demanded, standing from
the plush carpet.

“Morgan, I think you need to go.”

“You don’t know anything. I don’t pay you to think.”

“I told Drew I would make sure you were on the
plane.”

“Watch Nicky,” I ordered, storming past her.

“He’s not here,” Marta called after me.

“Where is he?”

“He had to fly to Chicago.”

“He left?”

“Yes, Morgan. He’s gone. Let’s get you packed. Just
go to the beach house and let things cool down. You’ll be better off there, and
so will Nicholas.”

“I won’t be better off without Drew,” I fumed. She
had no right. Drew had no right. He put her up to this. He couldn’t just give
up on us. I wouldn’t let him. I could feel my chest tighten and the tears flow.
I couldn’t breathe. Drew was throwing us away.

I didn’t pack one thing. Marta did it all. I lay in
a curled ball and cried silent tears across my bed. This was really happening.
Drew was really letting me go. After everything he’d done to fight for me, win
me, and keep me, he was letting me go.

Marta took Nicholas with her to pack his things,
leaving me sobbing for my husband. “You have an hour to get it together before
we have to leave.”

I jumped off the bed as soon as the door was closed,
grabbed my phone and dialed Drew. He didn’t answer. I knew he wouldn’t. I
smashed the oversized phone against the door and screamed.

“DREW! I know you’re watching me! Drew! You’re not
fucking doing this to us. You owe me, you son of a bitch. Don’t you fucking do
this to me, DREW!” I screamed again before getting angrier. “If you let us get
on that plane, you’ll never see either of us again. DO YOU HEAR ME, DREW!” I
cried, dropping to my knees. “Drew, please,” I begged a desperate quiet plea.

***

Nicholas stood on my lap, patting the square window
with his little hand. He loved flying. He knew when we were getting on the
plane. He got so excited when we climbed aboard. I held on to him feeling
broken. I didn’t know how I would function without Drew. He planned this whole
thing. He was just waiting for my appointment earlier that morning with Dr.
Tharp. He waited until he got the all clear before sending me away, sending not
only me, his wife, but his son away as well. How could he do this?

I smiled when Nicholas turned and smiled at me,
cooing da da da da. He was so innocent. He had no idea what was going on. Hell,
I didn’t even know what was going on. That’s when the tears started again.
Wiping them quickly away, I took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to be that girl.
I wasn’t going to destroy myself over a man. Drew did this. Drew let us go.

I didn’t see my mother that night. I wasn’t in the
mood for company. This was a well thought out plan. Drew had the kitchen
stocked with food, milk brought in, and even laundry soap. He remembered we
needed it from the last time we were there, not that it should surprise me.
Drew was the most organized man I knew. He even had a red dump truck sitting on
the table for Nicholas. I placed it on the floor hardwood floor for him to play
with. I knew Drew was serious when I opened his office door and everything was
cleared out.

I tried Drew’s number for the tenth time after
putting Nicholas to bed. I’m not going to cry, I’m not going to cry, I chanted
over and over, crouched in the corner of the sofa. Why wouldn’t he answer his
phone? Was he seriously just going to let us go like this? Never in my wildest
dreams would I have expected this from him.

Mentally exhausted, sleep finally took over around
eleven at night. I didn’t go to our room, not wanting to sleep in our bed
without Drew. I stayed on the sofa, covered with a quilt my mother had made for
me when Drew bought me the house.

Waking to the sound of an angry storm, I went to
Nicholas.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I soothed, picking him up.

I stood in front of the glass doors, swaying him
back and forth while watching the massive waves, lap the beach, lightening that
looked like it was touching the ocean, and wind and rain beat off the glass
doors in front of us. I knew how it felt. I felt like that. If I could produce
that much wrath, I’d do it too.

I did cry the next day. Jason took Nicholas and
Caroline for a walk along the beach and I cried, soaking my mother’s pink top
into a red one.

“How can he just throw us away like this?” I cried.

“He’s not throwing you away, honey. He’s trying to
protect you.”

“You talked to him?” Oh, my god. Everyone knew he
was doing this. I wondered if Alicia knew, and I made a mental note to call her
as soon as I was alone.

“Yes, he called. He wanted to make sure I would take
care of you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Maybe, but I’m still your mom. It’s my job to take
care of you.”

“Humph,” I let it slip, rolling my eyes. I didn’t
mean to, but hearing those words from my mother was still foreign to me. She
never took care of me, not like she does Caroline. “I’m sorry,” I instantly
said.

“I deserved that.”

“No, you didn’t. You’re no different than Drew. You
had me when you were sixteen. You did what you knew to do, what everyone else
around that god forsaken town did. I’m just happy that you’re here now,” I
tried making up for my stupidity.

I was glad my mother was there, and I was glad that
she had Jason and Caroline.

I spent three weeks without one word from Drew. I
was getting pissed. It is one thing to toss me out, but Nicholas didn’t deserve
this. He was probably wondering where his daddy was. How long did it take a
one-year-old to forget? Was he already starting to forget him? How long does it
take a grown woman to forget?

Alicia was never any help. Celeste doesn’t talk
about it, that’s the answer I always got, not that I didn’t find it to be the
truth. I knew Celeste minded her own business, and I was sure Drew wasn’t
telling her anything. I needed a plan. There had to be something that would get
him to call me.

I started with the credit card, spending nine
thousand dollars on anything and everything I could think of to buy online in a
one week. When that didn’t work, I bought a twenty five thousand dollar ring.
That would surely do it. Drew would be pissed that I bought something like
that, especially from the company that he hated most, his biggest competitor.
Drew despised Malibu jewels. I knew he’d call. He didn’t.

Next I decided to remodel Drew’s office. I had the
walls lined with bookshelves, the desk taken out, replacing it with two big
comfy chairs with matching ottomans, one for me and one for Nicky. My next
spending spree was books to fill the shelves. That part I loved and actually
did occupy my mind. Every time I got a shipment of books, I spent hours
organizing them. I was going to read every last one of them. That would occupy
my time and my mind.

Okay now this was getting to be ridiculous. Drew
didn’t care that I’d spent close to one hundred thousand dollars in less than a
month. He wasn’t calling.

“Here, you read this,” I said, taking my book from
Nicky and handing him one of his shiny books with the fat pages. I sat on the
floor with him and dialed Celeste. I was going to demand that she give him the
phone, enough was enough. He had plenty of time to get over feeling sorry for
himself, and I wanted our family back together.

“I know you’re with Drew. Let me talk to him,” I
demanded as soon as she answered.

“Actually, I’m not with Drew. He had an appointment
with Deidra this morning.”

“He did?” That surprised me. He was still seeing
Deidra?

“Yes, he goes twice a week.”

“He does?”

“Yes, how are you?”

“I’m miserable. How is Drew?”

“Miserable. I don’t know what he’s thinking. You two
belong together.”

“Have you tried telling him that? I could use some
help.”

“I have. He won’t listen. He truly believes he is
doing the right thing.”

“He’s not.”

“It’s not for me to say, Morgan. I just work for the
man.”

“You’re a friend. You do more than just work for
him.”

“He’s not going to listen to me.”

“I know.” I admitted. She was right. Drew would tell
her to mind her own business. Nothing was going to get him to call.

Wait a second….

“Hey, I’ll talk to you later. I need to get Nicholas
out of the flowerpot again.”

“Okay, call me anytime.”

“I will. Thanks.”

Nicholas really was in the flowerpot again. I opened
his fist, dropping the hand full of dirt, and tossed him in the air. “You stay
out of there, little man,” I sang.

Placing him on the floor in our new little library I
gave him some toys and opened up the airline booking site for Drew’s plane. It
worked. I proudly smiled ten minutes later when I saw Drew’s number.

“What the hell are you doing, Morgan?”

“Drew, how are you?” I nonchalantly asked.

“Morgan, you are not going to Maine.”

“I’m not?” I coyly asked.

“No, you’re not. You have no reason to go to Maine.”

“I’m not sure that’s for you to decide. You threw us
away, remember, Drew? You haven’t talked to me in almost two months. You can’t
just call me and demand that I not do something you don’t want me to do.”

“Morgan, don’t do this.”

“Fine, come and get us. Take us home.”

“Morgan, you’re doing fine there. You’re better
there. Please don’t go to Maine.”

“Yeah, okay. Well, if you only called to tell me
that I wasn’t allowed to fly to Maine, I guess we’re finished here.”

“I’m not kidding, Morgan. Don’t you dare take my son
across the country.”

“You mean the son that you haven’t even called to
check on for almost two months?”

“I talk to your mother every day.” Now that pissed
me off.

I hung up, furious with him and my mother for not
telling me. I was going to Maine. Seeing Starlight was just what I needed. .
Maybe I should call her first. We were going to need a place to stay.

My mother and I had words that evening at supper about
her talking to Drew daily and not telling me. I had been moping around for
weeks, and she had been talking to him.

“Morgan, I’m trying to do what’s best for both you.
I don’t know how to help you without helping Drew.”

“What does that mean? You think Nicky and I are better
off without him?”

“I do. I’m scared something is going to happen and
Nicholas is going to lose both of you.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“You can’t control Drew’s temper any more than he
can right now. I don’t know anything about Drew’s past, but I do know he has
issues.”

“I know his past, and he has good reason to be the
way he is. He’s not going to hurt me.”

“Morgan, he did hurt you. He’s hurt you a lot.”

“That doesn’t really hurt me. You don’t know him.
The good that Drew does outweighs the bad by tons.”

“And what if the next bad is the last one? You could
have died, Morgan.”

“If Drew hadn’t lost his temper and hit me, I would
have died. Drew sped things along by that. If he hadn’t hit me, I probably
would have went to sleep and never woken up.”

“Morgan, you’ve got to stop making excuses for him.
Think about that baby boy. What would he do without either of you? You want his
grandmother raising him?”