Underworld (Dark Passage) (18 page)

“What makes you think I would ever
- ever- forgive
you”? The words came choking out of me, almost in
a rage.

“I would have to agree you are an idiot
but don’t
think I care to hear your excuses”. Blood rushed to
my face as I spoke and my voice quavered. How
arrogant of him to think that I can simply pretend that
nothing happened. The thought of him being left here
alone in this miserable place is appealing to me.

What would Gramma June say if she could see me
now? Why oh why do I always worry about what
people think?

You are a good person Ivy and I know when the time
comes you will make good decisions. Every decision
you make has consequences. Like a pebble thrown in
a pond it will have far reaching consequences.

I see
Tyler’s eyes dart quickly in my direction then
his gaze dropped. His dark hair falls in waves and is
covering his face. His strong features and hard body
give one the impression that he had a strong character
too. He had always been the handsome, self-assured
kind that society loved.

Truth be told he has no back bone and when a tough
situation presented itself he let me down. What had I
ever been thinking when I fell for him? I had always
been a decent judge of character until him.

“The wound will burn for a day and then you will be
fine”. My tone clearly indicated that I was done
talking to him.

“Look Ivy” He hesitated for a moment as though
choosing his words carefully. It is apparent that there
is pain in his voice. “Let me tell you what happened
that day”-

I speak up quickly and effectively cut him off. There
is no point in rehashing the past. Not now. Not two
years later. Tyler had always been presumptuous but
things have changed. His family fortune won’t help
him here.

The whole world has changed. It suddenly occurs to
me that the tables have turned. I am the strong one
now. Inside me, is something that has been long
hidden and I am now a different person. I close my
eyes and take a deep breath before replying. “Fate
has a way of saving us from people who are no good
for us”. The words come out with a sting.

I watch him for a response but just as expected he is
silent. The silence further infuriates me but I guess
anything he says would make me angry. I fight back
the sharp words that are threatening to spill out.
There is no point in getting even. It’s done and over
and losing mytemper won’t change anything.

With a feeling of resignation I take my bow and put it
back on the side of the saddle. I swing into the saddle
and sit there a moment before deciding what I should
do. I can’t leave him here like this.

I dismount and walk over to Tyler. Without making
eye contact I put my arm around him for support and
I help him walk to the horse. When he is finally
standing next to the animal I gave him a leg up so he
can mount. Even dressed in dirty, torn clothing, his
hair damp with sweat, his persona resonates with
sophistication.

Tyler’s shirt i
s soaked with sweat by the time we ride
off. His body feels oddly cold pressed up against my
back. I can feel a slight movement as he slumps
against me and then he coughed.

He always had an air of confidence that people found
charming but he was different now. I suppress a
shudder of dread. I can’t help but wonder what the
story is behind Tyler being here. I gave him all that I
had to give. He took my heart, and when I needed
him the most, he let me down.

~
I can’t help but remember the day we met several
years ago. I was riding along the golf course, at a

brisk trot, very early one Saturday morning. I
decided to ride on the green as nobody was around to
see me. My horse accelerated to a brisk gallop and I
tore out over the perfect grass. Each stride created
gaping bare spots but it mattered little to me. The
course was ideal for a horse to stretch out and run.
I leaned close to his neck as the wind tore at my hair.
The scenery was a blur and I couldn’t help but smile
with exhilaration. We passed the water hole, rounded
a bend and the club house came into view. The next
thing I knew, I was flying through the air, and
skidded to a landing. I was dazed and unable to
move. I could hear a horse nicker and I sighed in
relief that my animal was not hurt. Then there was
the sound of someone getting into the saddle. I sat
up, about to tell whoever was there, to get off my
horse.

When I turned my heart fell. The sides of my horse
were heaving and he lay on his side unmoving. There
was someone kneeling next to Toby stroking his head
and reassuring him. Toby tried to raise his head, his
eyes wild with fear. I recognized the person helping
as Tyler. His gaze met mine and he shook his head.
My mouth trembled, and I tried not to cry. Toby’s
leg was badly broken and he needed to be put down.

Tyler led his horse over and reached out a hand
for me to take. He helped me to my feet and thrust
the reins of his horse into my hand. The thick leather
felt awkward and strange in my hand. I wanted to run
away from this place, forget what was happening, and
never look back. Now was my chance. I could ride
off and not look back. Leave the problems behind
and hope that it all goes away. What about Toby?
He didn’t deserve this but I just couldn’t face the
stress. I hated my own helplessness.

I stood there like a dumb thing unable to move. I had
seen this kid around school but never spoken to him.
Why was Tyler helping me? He had smiled at me a
couple of times in the hall in passing but never said a
word. My eyes rested on Toby and tears spilled down
my face.

I eyed Tyler
suspiciously. “What about you? What
will you do? What about Toby”? He touched my
arm reassuringly. “I’ll tell them he ran away with me
and caught his leg in a hole. I’ll have the vet put him
down and arrange to have him hauled off to the
rendering plant. Now go,before I change my mind”.

I turned for a moment as though I would go to Toby.
How would I afford a vet to put him down? He was
in pain and needed to be put down. I had let everyone
down in my life and now I would let Toby down too.
The only thing I could do was ride off as the man
suggested. I took the reins, mounted the horse and
looked back at Toby before leaving the area. Tyler
was stroking his head and talking to him in a quiet
tone.

Tyler was good to his word and took care of
everything that day for me. When he found me in the
park, several hours later, I was sitting on his horse
while it grazed. I was watching the cloud formations
as they drifted by trying to forget what had happened
and didn’t notice he had come.

I finally see him out of the corner of my eye.
Standing there like an angel, gloves in one hand and
riding crop in another. There was a clear steadiness
to his gaze. He knew what he was about and he
wanted me. What did it matter? I had nothing left to
give anyone. Not even myself. Or so I thought at the
time.

Something is tearing at my mind and I struggle for the
truth. My life is like a canvas that is being changed
each day with new images. I am becoming something
else with each passing hour. I wish I could go back
and find what was waiting to be discovered in each
stroke of paint that shaped the canvas of my life. It
was a long time ago, when I was younger and refused
to let anyone get close to me.
I briefly contemplate what I should do. What I
should do is miles apart from what I want to do. I
frown, curling my fingers around the reins in a
frustrated mess. Jast must sense I am struggling
because he starts pawing the ground. Something
tickles the back of my mind with what I can only call
insight. It’s like an illumination that something is
going to happen and I know I need to put miles
behind this place.

Dusk is rapidly approaching as we make our way out
of the place the demons had been. We threaded
through trees and travel down the trail that will take
us back to the mountain. Jen had been there urging
me to go into the mountain but I had stopped short at
Tyler’s scream. Suddenly I am seized with the
impression that we must pick up our pace and I urge
Jast into a canter.

The air grows colder as we ride toward the mountain.
The trail winds upward and the smell of a storm is
lingering in the air. Despite the chill, sweat trickles
down my neck and dampens my hair. It is becoming
difficult to find my way as the sky turns darker and
fog rolls in and I am forced to slow down. I turned
my head to listen for sounds but it is silent all around
me. I have a feeling that something is out there,
waiting in the heavy brush, to ambush me.

It’
s a slow process winding around the ribbon of trail
and I am unable to see more than 20 feet ahead of me.
My gaze drifts upwards and twice I thought I saw a
woman in the fog. The smell of something burning
chokes me and my stomach lurches as I catch a flash
of red up ahead.

The energy around me reeks of death. I can smell
rotting flesh and wished we had gone another
direction. Just as quick as it had rolled in the fog was
gone. Pushing my way forward I hear the
unmistakable toll of bells. Not a tinkling that you
would hear from a jingle bell but the full ring of a
church bell. More precisely it sounded like a church
funeral bell. The sound was mournful and frightening
in its way. More worrisome than the mournful sound
is that bells were ringing at all. My heart began to
pound and Tyler squeezed my arm.

I imagine the bells were meant to signal something
but what it is I have no clue. The last thing I need I
for Tyler to be amped up in his condition. As I am
thinking about what to tell, him his grip on my arm
relaxes and his arm went limp. I exhale in relief. It
feels like he haspassed out and I can’t help but
appreciate the timing.

The bells began to toll louder black clouds are
swirling around in the sky. There is a red backdrop
behind the clouds that I have never seen before in this
place. I pause for a moment and strain to get a better
look at the sky. There is a dull roar high above me
and the black clouds are taking vague shapes. There
is complete silence and then the black shapes began
to blur before my eyes. They are flying at alarming
speed and I need to get the mountains.

I turn Jast on a dime toward the mountain but it’s too
late. The demons are coming from all directions and
I won’t make it to the mountain without them
reaching us first. I stop for a moment and hold the
reins tightly. Jast dances and lifts his front feet off
the ground in frustration. Time stands still as I look
around me to better analyze the situation. Then I
remember Gramma June’s letter and the writing on
the book.

The wise will find the truth. The stars of twilight will
be dark when the hidden is illuminated. Ye may look
for the light in darkness and the old becomes new
again. There lies the answer
.

The stars of twilight will be dark and the hidden
illuminated. Could the approaching demons be the
stars of twilight? Then where is the light? The old
becomes new again?

I open my saddlebag and feel around inside for the
book. Flipping through the pages a passage catches
my eye.

There are hidden, nonphysical worlds that can be
reached in the here and now. Altered states of
consciousness can be reached when one is awake or
dreaming as taught by many teachers from the times
of antiquity. There are many planes of existence that
coexist together but are not seen unless we look for
them. You must look within your soul for the truth.

I hear the sound of screaming in the distance. It is a
low wailing that sounds like children being crushed. I
tell myself I have an overactive imagination and the
sound is probably a wild animal of some sort. I
shuddered despite myself as I pushed forward toward
the mountain. The trees below us are rustling and
glimmerin the mist. Such a strange place and I can’t
help but wonder what terrible things are hiding in the
forest.

We climb higher and higher until the trees are far
below us. I turn to look at Tyler and place the back of
my hand on his forehead. He is burning up with fever
and I wonder if he will survive. His face is pale, and
there is something grotesque about him, despite his
handsome features. I don’t know why I am helping
him. For a moment I think about pushing him off the
back and leaving him behind.

My sudden urge to see him die disarms me. I never
wished anyone dead and I won’t let my hurt pride
change that now. My perception of things has been
heightened, as though, I am becoming someone else.
Perhaps this is what Lizzie meant when she said I was
becoming body and spirit. I closed my eyes and
thought of Tom and Lizzie. My mind seemed to
probe the world around me. Then I saw something.

I was stunned by what I saw. There was a powerful
light that erupted out of everywhere at once. When
my eyes adjusted to the brightness I was looking into
the driveway of Bill’s house. There were lights on in
the \windows and a great aura around the place. I
heard the sound of ripping fabric and a force of
energy nearly knocked me off Jast. I persisted to
keep the vision open and walked toward the house. I
opened the familiar iron gate just enough to squeeze
through and walked toward the Victorian. It took an
immense amount of energy to propel myself toward
the house but I force my legs to walk.

The house seemed to draw me to it as though it
wanted me to see inside. I felt my body grow tense
and my heart raced. I stopped half way down the
driveway. I was looking into the windows and saw a
flickering lamp in the living room. In the entryway
between the great room and dining room something
dark stands. The pale beams of light shines on the
white gravel I am standing on and I concentrate on
the dark figure.