Underworld (Dark Passage) (20 page)

I can see the blue of the sky just beyond the place we
are laying. It’s bright outside and for a moment I
imagine I am waking up in the old house by the
beach. The sunrises there had been beautiful with the
dazzling sunlight pouring through the window and the
colors dancing off the water as waves crashed on the
beach.

Then it hist me. Jen is dead and I am not in Olalla. It
seems unimaginable that she is really gone. How
quickly life changes and all that you know and love is
torn away without a warning. Never to spend time
with someone again and never see the promise of
their life. She deserved so much more and never had
the chance to grow old with Bill.

Guilt washes over me as I think of Bill. Where has he
gone? Are he and Peter dead then too? How strange,
that everything I had known and loved; just two
weeks ago, is now gone. I have some vague, pressing
notion that something even worse is coming.

I glance at my thigh expecting to see a gaping wound
but all I see is a hole in my pants where the arrow had
pierced me. My body aches from head to toe but I
don’t feel anything broken. The back of my head is
throbbing and I remember being hit by a rock. I feel
the place where the rock struck me and there is no
swelling, not so much as a knot remains. There is
dried blood where the rock hit but there is no
indication of any wound.
It amazes me that I have
no wounds and I can’t explain how that can be the
case.

Tyler sat up groggily and stretched. I watched him
stretch, willing myself to look away but unable to do
so. He caught me looking at him and gave me an
amused smile, his messy hair falling carelessly over
his face. His smile unnerved me and I feel my insides
twisting up tight. He turned then, looking up at the
sky. I wondered how long we could go on like this. I
frowned. How can I even talk to him after what he
did?

Tyler’s eyes fell to my ripped pant leg and he reached
down to take a closer look. His fingers brushed
against the place that had been wounded the night
before. He leaned closer and started to roll my pant
leg up. His dark hair fell around his eyes and I tried
not to shiver as he rolled the stiff fabric upward. I
stepped back instinctively and felt my face flush.
“I appreciate your concern Tyler but I’m fine”. I said
with irritability.

He smiled and one eyebrow arched up as though
questioning me. For all my indifference I felt myself
reacting
. Be careful Ivy.
I was beginning to doubt
my own resolve to be distant with him and keep
myself focused on the task at hand. Easier said than
done and I can already feel my defenses already
breaking down. I sighed and put my hand on his arm.

“Sorry. I’m just not myself today is all. It must be
from the pain”. I cringed, regretting the words as
soon as they came out.

His smile was unreadable but his eyes held mine and I
can’t mistake the warmth in them. I could feel my
face flush and turned away as though looking for
something in the distance. There is no way in hell I’m
going to let myself get sucked back into an emotional
attachment with Tyler. I straightened and cleared my
throat. I caught a darkness flash across his face and
then his expression was tense. If I have learned
anything it is how to build walls. In any case, he
would never have an opportunity to hurt me again.

“
I took the arrow out last night and cauterized it with
a knife I heated in the fire. You had passed out and I
carried you here after the bleeding had stopped. Do
you remember anything after you passed out”? Tyler
asked

I shook my head thoughtfully. What
had
happened to
me? I had felt helpless when the light came, and then
I blacked out, and can’t remember anything. I recall
feeling numb and then nothingness.

“The last thing I remember is slipping
off of Jast’s
back and seeing light before I blacked out. Then
there was nothing”.

How can I be clueless about what transpired? There
is no logical explanation and no way to understand it
but I should have some recollection. Maybe I missed
something in Gramma June’s letter. I walk over to
the saddlebag and pull it out carefully so as not to tear
the worn paper.

I read the letter over several time trying to make sense
of what is written. I find strength in reading the
familiar handwriting. For a long moment, I linger on
a single paragraph. The words strike me as rich with
meaning and I let them soak into my mind.

You will be a light in the darkness. Long ago you
were chosen and you will now be equipped. Each leg
of your journey will unlock doors for you. Many
beings will help you along the way and many more
are trying to destroy you. Follow the light that is in
your heart. Things are not what they seem so you
gotta be always on guard. Evil may come in the
disguise of good and what seems dark may contain
light. When all else fails look within yourself for the
answers.

Yes.
I say quietly to myself. There is something
helping me and it is in the light. I had wanted to enter
it and when I did peace came to me. Something
occurs to me. The veil is all around me but perhaps it
also within. Could the light be inside me and when I
need help it is there to draw upon?

Tyler now stands beside me. There is a peculiar
quality to his expression. Something I can’t quiet put
my finger on. Something I never saw before passes
over his face for a moment but then is gone. It’s
somewhat of a shock that he is even here with me.
There was a time when I had dreamed about a life
with him and couldn’t get him out o
f my mind. The
feel of his warmth next to me this morning and the
beating of his heart made me feel at ease
. I won’t go
there with him again.

Looking up at him I remember the wounds that he
had endured at the hands of the demons. I had been
so wrapped up in my own emotions I had forgotten
about Tyler’s wounds. The cut on the back of his
seems to have healed already and there is no sign of
limping or discomfort from the burn on his thigh.
Perhaps the same light healed Tyler and I just don’t
remember. I won’t ask him about it because I don’t
want my question to be translated into concern on his
part. I took a breath wondering what he is thinking.

Then I hear something. There is a chilling howl in
the distance. It seems to echo frombehind us. I can’t
tell if it is on the other side of the mountains or here.
Tyler’s face is solemn and he meets my gaze. He
doesn’t seem afraid but rather seems to be filled with
something else. Regret? Sadness? I have pretty good
instincts when it comes to people and something is
wrong with him. Just 5 minute ago he stood next to
me like we were friends. He seems weird all of a
sudden. He seems unexplainably detached.

The eerie howling turned into a chorus of howls and
seemed to be getting closer. I run toward the place
where my saddle is lying and whistle for Jast. He
comes trotting up and I hurriedly tack him, throw my
gear on the saddle. Taking the reins and some mane
in my left hand, I swing into the saddle without using
the stirrups.

Tyler is beside me but makes no effort to get his foot
in the stirrup. I hesitate a moment before offering my
hand for assistance. A few beads of sweat trickle
down the back of my neck and Jast dances sideways
making it impossible for Tyler to mount. For a
moment a thought flashes through my mind to leave
him behind. He looks up at me and steps away as
though he wants to stay behind. My heart is
pounding, waiting for him to reach for a hand up. He
does nothing but stand there and I feel my anger
rising.

I gape at him with my mouth open and images of him
leaving me with the boys in the forest flashed through
my mind. I would not leave him as he had done to
me. Anger floods my mind and I urge Jast over to
where he stands. I reach down to offer my hand to
him so he can swing up behind me but he makes no
move to get on the horse. He takes a step backward
and his hands remain at his side.

Shock and then what looks to be sadness appear on
his face. He doesn’t make a move and stares at me
for a moment. Then he reaches for my hand and
swings up behind me. I take a deep breath and urge
Jast forward. He didn’t need much encouragement to
leave this place and instantly stretches out in full
gallop. We veered off the cobblestone road and made
haste toward a stand of trees in the distance. I can
feel his arms around my ribcage and feel, somehowsafe- having him behind me.

As we approach the trees I see a figure of a woman.
Standing just in front of the trees is the woman who I
had seen in my vision of the old house. Her hair is
pulled back from her face and her sickly white skin is
stretched tightly over her skull face. A hint of a smile
plays on her face and she holds the utility rope that I
had seen Jen hanging from.

Do not look at her.
I hear a voice say in my head but
I am unable to turn away from the ghastly figure. My
eyes are glued to her face and her black eyes glitter in
their sockets. Something in them calls to me and I
force myself to break contact for a moment and when
I look back she is further away than before.

I stare into her eyes and wish that something would
take this creepy, skull faced woman away. My skin
prickles as though chilled to the bone and when I look
away for just a moment she appears for a moment and
then vanishes before my eyes. I must be losing my
mind.

I loosen up on the reins and urge Jast to the place the
woman had been standing. “Nothing is wrong. I just
thought I saw something over there. Did you see
anything Tyler”?

I could feel Tyler shrug his shoulders and his arms
tighten around my waist. I feel vulnerable but not in
danger. “Nothing. Are you ok”?

I am feeling slightly better until I see the utility rope
the woman had been holding lying on the ground.
Next to it something glitters in the debris of dead
leaves. I urge Jast closer, and when I am a few feet
away, I see a watch.

I slide off of my horse and walk to the place where it
is lying. I pushed aside the leaves that are half
covering it and pick it up. I rub my fingers over the
face to clean off some grime and turn it over in my
hands to examine it carefully. It has an ethereal
mother of pearl background set behind ancient
looking roman numerals. I put it to my ear and hear it
ticking. Turning it over I can see the initials FP
engraved into the back.

The watch had belonged to Flora Pearson. Memories
flood back and I recall reading the diary left in Bill’s
house. Flora was a young woman that had lived in
the old house and been murdered by an infamous
doctor in Olalla. The skull faced woman is the same
one that Jen and Bill had encountered at the beach.
The woman had reopened the portal and unlashed the
demons. My skin is crawling and something inside
me is urging me to find that woman. My own
thoughts shock me but in order to find truth I need to
follow the path to the end.

What I wouldn’t give for a phone
. I stop myself from
thinking the rest of the sentence
- to call Jen and ask
her what she thinks.
How will I ever get through my
life without her? I choke back a sob. I wish I could
forget what I saw and hide it away with the rest of the
tragedies of my life. The last thing I need is to be
blinded by grief and lose sight of my path. Besides,
who is to say what I saw was just a shadow of what
could be? It may have been nothing more than an
illusion to keep me from something else?

The elderly couple I spent so many summers with had
told me that the dream world encompasses all realms
and integrates the living and the dead. I had learned
this to be true because they helped me to travel to
various dimensions on many occasions. It was not
simply my imagination but real life phenomena that
occurred. Of course, some people said I was
delusional; but how then did I come back with ancient
books and other items of interest to me?
How had
Anathema come to me if it was just a dream?

Truth cannot be hidden for long and it’s time for
me
to start using the light within me to illuminate the
darkness. The only way I will be able to see through
the veil, and unite with the power of the light that is
beyond, is to face the darkness. Face it head on. Not
for myself but for the benefit of all. The balance will
shift when I find the woman. The path to her will
take me to the end of life as I know it.

I am tired of the sadness of life, the utter heartbreak
of it all and almost welcome my end. The prophetic
dreams, with all the suffering they bring will fade
away. I am chosen and to be chosen means to make
sacrifices. I will die to myself and embrace the future
blindly. The line between fantasy and reality has
always been blurred so walking into the unknown
may not be as difficult as I have imagined. It may be
just as simple as taking a step forward and being on
the other side. My only regret is that I have to go
alone. I feel a heightened awareness of Tyler sitting
behind me. Every part of my body aches for his
touch. Just when I thought I was ok doing this alone
he comes back
. To what end?
I think to myself.

I know I am half in this world and half out. I did not
belong to the plane I had come from but neither do I
belong to this plane. Finding the answers had become
an obsession; like a moth attracted to the light. The
moth intuitively knows the flame will kill and yet is
unable to turn away.