Unforgiven (9 page)

“Jake, I’m here at your place. I buzzed downstairs for half an hour, and there’s no answer. I did manage to get in your front door when someone came out. I’ve knocked and called through the door, but no one is there. No one answered. One of your neighbors saw me, this older guy. Said his name is Brooks. He saw Jill leaving with a suitcase, so I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I think she’s not here.”

It took him a moment to register the fact that Jill had left with a suitcase. That didn’t make sense. What could she possibly be doing? She’d never said a thing about going away. Maybe she had checked into the hospital, but he shut his eyes for a second to think. “Wait, I don’t understand what you’re saying. Some neighbor of mine said he saw Jill leaving with a suitcase, when?” He couldn’t help feeling crazed, being this far away. He was beginning to feel as if Jill was slipping from his grasp. He’d treated her badly.

“Samuel, she’s not here. I don’t know what’s going on between you two. Have you tried calling her cell phone? Does she have one?”

Yeah, he’d tried. He’d called her cell phone right after he called home. She only had it on when she went out, and then sometimes she’d never check the thing for days. “I did. Where the hell is she? Look, thanks for going over. I really appreciate it, Erin.”

“I hope whatever is going on, Samuel, you work it out. You’re a good lawyer, and I’d hate to see you toss your career down the drain over a woman and home problems. You need to fix whatever is going on with Jill, because the partners never look favorably on home problems. They really like you to have a drama-free life.”

He knew what she was saying. It really didn’t matter what he’d accomplished up until now, how hard he’d worked. This was business, and personal problems could be a career ender. “Thanks for the heads-up, Erin. I appreciate it.” He pocketed his phone. Logan had slid around and was looking back at him, and he could feel Jake practically breathing down his neck. He shook his head. “Ben, can you drive faster? I don’t know what’s going on, but a colleague of mine went by my place and said someone saw Jill leaving with a suitcase. Shit!” He pounded the back of Logan’s seat with his fist.

Logan pulled out his cell phone. “Give me Jill’s cell number.”

He rattled it off to his brother, who was already dialing.

“Call her doctor back again,” Logan said. “Find out whether he’s talked to her. Does she have family, a sister, friends? Who would she call?” Logan was going all cop on him at a time when he actually appreciated it. Then he realized he didn’t know who Jill was close to anymore. She had friends, but she also never talked of them. She had a sister in Florida, parents in Texas, but he didn’t think she’d call them. Then again, never in a million years had he believed Jill would walk out.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll call her sister,” he said. As he dialed, he listened to Logan talking to someone, rattling off Jill’s cell phone number, and it dawned on him that as long as she had her phone on, they’d be able to find her. “Thank you, Logan,” he said.

A hand reached over and squeezed his shoulder. It was a touch from Jake that he’d never expected to feel again. This time, instead of knocking his hand away, he just sat there while Logan did what he did best: finding lost girls.

***

She could hear her phone ringing again. She’d fallen asleep after crawling out of the bathroom. She was shaky and weak, and she thought she had a fever. She was sick. She just needed to rest, to sleep it off.

The phone stopped ringing. It was across the room, and she thought about getting out of bed and shutting it off so she could go back to sleep. She was tired, and all she wanted to do was sleep after the wave of nausea passed. Her head was fine as long as she was lying down, but every time she got up it was worse.

There was a pounding again, and she realized it wasn’t her head—it was the door. There was a man’s voice, Samuel’s voice. She’d have recognized the sound of him anywhere. She started to get up, as she heard him calling to her through the door.

“Jill, open up!” He said something to someone right before she heard the key card in the door and it popped open. She was trying to sit up, squinting as she watched Samuel hurry toward her, and Jake was behind him. Logan, Ben, and Joe also stepped into the room.

“What the hell are you doing, Jill?” Samuel said. “I’ve been trying to call you and have left messages, and so has your doctor. Why are you in this piece of shit motel and not at home?” he demanded, staring at her as she sat up, holding her arms. Her head ached, and she was warm. She could feel his hand on her forehead, and then someone else was touching her.

“She’s burning up.”

“I’m tired. Samuel, I just want to lie down. My head hurts.” She felt herself being lifted and knew the feel of Samuel’s arms around her. She didn’t fight him. She couldn’t fight him. She knew also she was barely decent, her bare legs sticking out from under the T-shirt she’d pulled on to sleep in.

They were moving outside.

“Where are we going?” she asked, feeling his arm around her back, holding her.

“To the hospital, Jill.”

“What?” It barely registered what he was saying before she was lifted into the back of a black vehicle and buckled in. Samuel was beside her. A blanket was put around her legs, and his brothers were there. “How did you find me?”

“Your cellphone, Jill. Why did you leave?” Samuel asked.

She could feel his warm breath on her hair, and she had to tilt her head to look up. “I want you to want me for me, not the baby or an obligation. I want to know you love me as much and as deeply as I love you. I know you made a choice, and I don’t want you to, so I made it easier to leave. Why do I have to go to the hospital, Samuel? I just need to lie down and get some rest. Just take me back to the motel. I was fine there.”

The car was moving. She heard the tires squeal and Logan talking to Ben. She was sure it was Ben driving, although she’d met him only once. They resembled one another in some ways and in other ways not, but they were all handsome, with strong personalities—some more so than others, she figured.

“It’s not happening, Jill,” Samuel said. “I don’t know what came up in your tests, but whatever it is, the doctor wants you in the hospital now. That’s another thing, Jill. You’re going to sign whatever it is the doctor needs you to sign so they talk to me about you, about the baby. No more of this needing your consent. I’m deciding, do you hear?”

The way he was watching her, she was awake enough to realize he was furious and hurt in a way she hadn’t seen before. He cared about her. She wasn’t sure if it was enough, but right now it was enough that she could lean into him, be with him, and let him figure this out.

“Okay” was all she said the rest of the drive to the hospital.

She wondered if she fell asleep, as the next moment she was being lifted again, and Samuel was walking into the hospital, bright lights around them and voices. She was lowered onto a bed. She looked up, and the doctor was there. He was wearing just a T-shirt and shining a light into her eyes.

“Jill, we’ve been looking for you. I need you to look into the light. I know it hurts, but we’re going to get an IV hooked up to you.”

She could hear Samuel there, and she felt his hand holding hers. She didn’t want to let go.

“Jill, can you give me your consent to discuss your medical needs with Samuel?”

“Yes, it’s okay. Talk to Samuel. You can tell him anything.”

“Can you sign a consent form? Do you think you’re up to that?”

She was tired and weak, but she thought so. “I can sign. What’s wrong with me?”

A nurse appeared and was taking her blood pressure. Someone asked Samuel to move, but she didn’t want to let go of his hands.

“Samuel don’t go,” she said.

“I’m not going anywhere. Here, Jill, take this pen, open your eyes. I need you to sign here.”

Jill let Samuel put a pen in her hand, and he pointed to the page for her sign. She didn’t read it. She didn’t want to take the time to read it. She wanted him to take care of this for her.

“Jill, you have a bacterial infection called Listeriosis,” the doctor said. “You could have had it for a while, and that’s what’s making you feel like you have the flu.”

“How would I get something like that?” she asked, looking over at Samuel, who appeared grim as he listened to the doctor.

“By eating food contaminated with the Listeria bacterium. It affects pregnant women, the elderly, children, and those with a weakened immune system, but we’re getting you hooked up to some antibiotics and fluids. I’m going to have a chat with Samuel.”

She was watching the exchange between Samuel and the doctor as they left the curtained-off area. The nurse who came in covered her with a blanket over the sheet and hooked up an IV in her arm.

“Just relax,” she said. “We’re going to get you settled in a room.” She reached above the bed and turned off the overhead light.

Then she left, leaving Jill to wonder as she rested her hand on her baby, whom she hadn’t allowed herself to consider as of late. She realized, as she rubbed her swollen belly, that she’d put up a wall because she didn’t think her heart could take any more hurt.

***

“We’re running more tests right now,” the doctor said. “I’ve ordered a full blood panel because Listeria is an infection in the blood. It’s not that serious to the mother unless there’s some underlying condition, and Jill is healthy otherwise.”

“Well then what’s the problem?” Samuel was outside the emergency area in the hallway. Logan was leaning against the wall in front of him, and Jake and Ben were behind him. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Joe had his hands in his pockets and then pulled them out, crossing his arms. Samuel could see how being in the hospital was making him damn uncomfortable, but then, Joe had his issues, having lost his first wife to cancer.

The doctor glanced to his brothers. Samuel got his meaning, so he gestured at them. “It’s fine to talk. These are my brothers. You can say what you need to say in front of them.”

“Great, that makes this easier. Listeria can have grave consequences on a developing baby and can infect the placenta.” He stopped talking. “Look, how straight up to do you want me to be?” the doctor asked.

Samuel then felt that the ground below him wasn’t as solid as he’d thought it was. He could also feel the moment his brothers flanked him. It wasn’t anything they said or did, but it was a feeling that whatever happened, they were there to move in. For what felt like the first time he could remember, everyone was putting everything aside to have his back. “I want you to be real and not sugarcoat anything,” Samuel said.

The doctor nodded. “Fine, then here it is. The infection has likely moved into the placenta and the amniotic fluid. If the baby survives, what will happen is that he or she could be born ill or get severely sick soon after birth with problems that can include blood infection, breathing problems, fever, lesions on multiple organs, infections affecting the nervous system, and even meningitis. That’s if the baby isn’t stillborn.”

“Holy shit, you really don’t hold anything back,” Samuel said. He watched the doctor, wondering now whether there was any hope. “But the baby could be okay?”

Logan’s expression changed, and Joe flinched. He glanced back at Jake, who was leaning against the wall behind him, rubbing the back of his neck. He knew Ben was squeezing his shoulder again.

“What happens next?” Logan asked, his arms crossed. Samuel could see he was trying to understand everything.

“We run an ultrasound. We need to collect amniotic fluid. Jill is on an antibiotic IV, which will take care of the infection, but the baby could be affected now, and you’ll have to be prepared to make some hard decisions.”

Logan closed his eyes in a long blink. This was horrible. Samuel realized that even though this baby meant something, he’d never allowed himself to become attached—not until now.

“I don’t understand how she could pick this up,” he said. “Explain it to me again.”

“It’s really important, when you’re pregnant, to make sure all fish, poultry, and meat is cooked well. Pregnant women need to stay away from deli meat as well unless heated, as well as some dairy. You need to wash all fruits and vegetables. She could have picked it up from any of these sources. People need to be extra cautious when pregnant.”

“So you’re saying it’s something she ate, something that wasn’t clean, and that caused this?”

“It can be as simple as that, yes,” the doctor said.

“Go do what you need to do,” Samuel said when no one else spoke.

“I’ll keep you updated. We’re moving Jill to a room soon,” the doctor said. Then he was walking away, back to the emergency room desk. He was writing something down and then conferring with another doctor. Then both of them went to the curtained-off area where Jill was. Samuel should have followed, but his feet suddenly felt cemented in place.

“I never in a million years expected this,” he said. “This is my fault. I haven’t really been there for her. She’s had to figure it all out and deal with my moodiness on top of that. She never was good about cooking.”

“You’re right, she couldn’t cook worth shit,” Jake said, leaning back against the wall. Samuel took his brother in. Jake had a stake in this situation, as well, whether he liked it or not.

“Carrie can cook some,” Ben said awkwardly after a moment.

“Julia’s a fantastic cook, but then, she owns a café and sandwich shop. I’ve never worried about it,” Logan said.

“Margaret would rather clean out a barn than cook. She’s pretty great with a knife, but then, her skills as a surgeon really shine,” Joe said—as if this was meant to help Samuel in any way.

“Jill probably just picked up a deli sandwich or salad, something she always does because she doesn’t want to cook,” Samuel said. “She loves delis, and I never gave it much thought, what she should or shouldn’t be eating while pregnant. I just thought she’d know. It was easier for me to not worry, to not get involved.”

“Don’t beat yourself up,” Ben said. “I’m sure Jill didn’t give it much thought, either. I wouldn’t have.” He slipped his arm around Samuel’s shoulder, patting it.