University Park Series Box Set: Books 1-3 (67 page)

“I would have, but your phone isn’t
working.”

“That’s because I turned it off.” He
scowled and I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to the man that would
smile from ear to ear when he saw me. That could light up any street with the
glow beaming from him whenever I got close. Why was he acting so bitter toward
me? Did he know? Had Shawn told him I was coming to see him? Or had Shawn told
him I was pregnant? I had to know.

With one hand on my hip, I held his
gaze. “Why did you leave me?”

His jaw tightened as he bit out the
words, “That’s what you came here for?”

I ignored his comment and stuck to my
plan. “Were you that chicken shit that you couldn’t tell me in person?”

“Lexi, just go back home.” He waved me
off like I wasn’t even worth his time and turned around. It was like a slap in
the face and for a moment, I felt like one of his hoes that he so easily tossed
to the side after he got what he wanted.

I followed him to where he was working
in the yard, watching him scalp a shrub to the near root. “Why do you keep
thinking you’re not good enough for me? I don’t get it.”

“Because I’m not, Lexi.” He huffed a few
times and then stopped cutting. “Can’t you see that? Why do you want to be with
a loser like me?” He flung around and faced me, jabbing a finger in the center
of his chest so hard, I thought he’d poked a hole. “I can barely support
myself, much less you. And I sure as hell don’t expect for you to support my
ass.”

Oh no. I couldn’t possible tell him I
was pregnant now.

I threw my hands up in the air, defeat
quickly setting in. “Do you really think I’m that shallow? Do you think I’m
that money hungry or something? Because if I gave you that impression, I’m
sorry. I don’t care what profession you choose, Raven, as long as it’s legit.
There are plenty of other occupations aside from football.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, how about landscaping?
Looks like you’ve been doing a great job on your grandmother’s house.” I did a
quick glance of the perfectly manicured lawn. “Why not start a business?”

His face twisted in disgust. “I don’t
want to do this shit for a living.” He tossed the trimmers to the ground and I
sighed in relief. The last thing I needed was to accidently get stabbed by a
pair of razors sharp knives. Not that he would, but the demon inside of him was
making a grand appearance and it scared me a bit. “I’m only doing this to help
my grandmother, not because I enjoy it.”

“Fine. I’m just giving you an example.
But if you love football that much, you should consider the supplemental
draft.”

There, I said it.

“Wh-what?” His voice was on the verge of
a condescending laugh. “No one is going to pick me up. No team wants a player
with off-field issues, especially not mine.” He laughed hard and rolled his
eyes.

“You don’t know that, Raven.”

“Trust me, Lexi. It’s over for me. My
football days are long gone. The dream is gone. Just like that.” He snapped his
fingers. “I’m nothing but a washed out, ex-druggy, ex-drunk, who will never
amount to nothing.” He sighed heavily, picked up his shirt, and wiped the sweat
from his face. His stomach tensed and I caught a glimpse of a heavy set of abs
that had definitely vamped from a six pack to an eight pack. The indentations
on either side of his waist formed a deeper V and he looked leaner than ever. He
had seriously been working out.

My approach wasn’t working so I had to
try something different. Not to mention, he was really pissing me off.
“Alright. Fine. I can’t force you do anything. You have to want to make
something out of your life. The only thing I can do is encourage you. In fact,
that’s all I’ve ever done. I had hoped I was going to be a part of your life,
but I see that being away from me hasn’t changed anything.”

“Lexi, I’m not good for you. Just go
back to—”

“Don’t.” Anger boiled my blood. “Don’t
even say his name.” I jammed my finger into his chest, my eyes on the verge of
tears. “My life has been turned upside down because of you. I gave you
everything, Raven. All of me.” Tears gushed from my eyes and there was no
stopping them. “I gave myself to you freely and you just turned your back on
me. Like everything we had meant nothing to you. We were engaged to be married!
Did that not mean anything to you?” I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and then
pushed him away. My heart pounded, ready to explode into a thousand pieces.
Pieces I had been holding onto by a thread.

His eyes narrowed and glazed over, as if
ready to release all the hurt that had been tormenting him. “I’m sorry, Lexi. I
never meant to hurt you.”

“Well you did more than that, Raven.” I
started to turn around and then stopped. I had come there for another reason. A
more important reason than telling him about the supplemental draft — his
babies. “Before I go, there’s something else you need to know.”

“Save it, Lexi. Nothing will change how
I am.”

My body heaved forward and I swayed
back. The sandwich I had eaten threatened to make a reappearance, but I willed
it stay. I refused to break down in front of him. I was telling him no matter
what it did to me.

“You’re impossible.” I took a few deep
breaths. “I just traveled five hundred and thirty five miles hoping that maybe
you still wanted to be with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I haven’t given up on us. And
most of all, I haven’t given up on this.” I reached into my purse and pulled
out the first sonogram that said
Hi Mom, Hi Dad
and shoved it into his
hand.

“What’s this?” He stared at it for a
moment, his eyes narrowing as he studied the images. The paper wavered in the
wind and he grabbed the edge with his free hand. His face shifted from surprise
to realization. “Yo-you’re having a baby?”

“Two, actually.”

“Wh-what?” His face paled and he swayed
to the side. I reached out to keep him steady.

“Are you okay?”

“I…I don’t believe this.” His mouth hung
open as he continued to stare at the picture. I waited for him to say something,
anything
, but he didn’t. He remained silent, looking at me, then at the
paper in his hand, his eyes blinking repeatedly. “But you said you had an IUD.”

“I did. It didn’t work.”

“Fu—ck.”

At that moment, I knew. He didn’t want
any part of this. Coming here was the biggest mistake ever. The unspoken words
of my mother were right — just like always. Raven wasn’t ready to accept the
responsibility. I’d be raising our children on my own.

“Don’t worry.” I snatched the slick
paper from his hand. “I don’t want anything from you. I just wanted the kids to
know who their dad is. I had also kind of hoped you wanted to be a part of
their lives. Ya know, since you didn’t know your dad.”

His nostrils flared to life and his
chest rose, like a dragon getting ready to blow fire. He took in a deep breath
and unleashed on me. “Fuck you, Lexi. That’s not fair.” He shoved his finger in
my face, keeping it several inches from my cheek.

I blinked twice, not believing what I
had just heard. No way in hell was I going to stand there and take his shit. I
had done everything for him and he had proved to me, once again, that he was
still the same old Raven. “You know what? Life isn’t fair, so fuck you, Raven.”
I darted to the taxi, tears streaming down my face. “Go, just go!” I yelled as
I slammed the door behind me.

“Okay, okay.” The driver peeled out and
I didn’t bother to turn around to see if Raven had come after me. “Where to?”

I sighed heavily, unable to stop the
tears. “The airport.” We’d never talked to each other that way before. Raven
held no regard for the news I shared with him. How could he be so cold? So
heartless? I had hoped time alone would have helped him clear his head, but it
hadn’t. We were done. Over. Why did life have to suck so hard?

I heaved forward as the string that was
holding the pieces of my heart together snapped, scattering them into a million
pieces. The pain traveled throughout my body, creating new holes that I knew
could never be repaired. I was permanently damaged. The Raven’s trap had turned
deadly.

After several long minutes, I managed to
stop crying. I fell against the back of the seat and stared out the window,
watching everything pass by me in a blur. No matter how much it hurt, I had
done what I needed to do. I had told Raven. Now I could get on with my life. I
was stupid for thinking that he’d want to be a part of our babies’ lives. I’d
just have to do it without him. I had done my part, but he refused to own up to
his.

As the taxi drove through the neighborhood,
we passed a local high school. A big sign in front read
Summer Football Camp
pre-season game tonight. The Dragons vs The Bears
this Saturday at 6 p.m.
I closed my eyes. I had to be seeing things. I relaxed against the seat and
took a deep breath. I would be okay. I was a strong, independent woman. I
didn’t need Raven. I could make it on my own.

As I opened my eyes, the light turned
green, and the driver turned onto the onramp for the freeway. I glanced out the
front windshield, making sure we were headed in the right direction when a huge
billboard caught my attention.
South Padre Island - Where the fun begins
.
A whimper escaped my lips and my shoulders slumped. It was where it ended, not
where it began.

“Are you okay, Miss?” the driver asked,
a look of concern covering his face.

“Yes. Pregnant and very emotional,
that’s all.”

“Oh. Sorry. I mean, congratulations.
That’s if you want it to be.” He stumbled through the words and I turned away,
not wanting to hear his pathetic excuses.

The taxi came to a halt and I cringed.
“What’s wrong?”

“Sorry, looks like construction traffic.
Tell you what, I’ll flip off the meter for now.”

That was honestly the least of my
worries. I kept my eyes on the side of the road, hoping to avoid anything else
when I saw a church with a huge sign on the front.
First Christian Church -
Where families come first.

“Oh, God, why?” I held the sonogram to
my chest, cradling my unborn children.

I promise to take care you guys no
matter what. Mommy loves you both.

I covered my face and continued to cry.
Why had Raven reacted that way? Did he not love me anymore? What had I done to
deserve this? Nothing had gone the way I had planned. Life really did suck.

“I know a shortcut,” the driver
announced. I was sure he was tired of hearing me cry. “I’ll have to do some
back tracking, but I’ll get you to the airport. What time is your flight?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I don’t
have a ticket yet.”

His eyes narrowed. “I’ll still get you
there on time.”

The driver sped past cars, driving on
the shoulder until he reached the next exit. He raced down the service road and
made a U-turn, heading back in the direction of Raven’s grandmother’s house.
The taxi came to a sudden halt as cars lined the service road. Apparently,
everyone headed to the airport had the same idea. The driver inched his way
forward, switching lanes at every opportunity, and then cut through a parking
lot. Conveniently, I caught a glimpse of another sign.
At Lincoln Memorial
Hospital, we not only specialize in birthing babies, but birthing multiple
babies. Tours daily at our new women’s center.

“Stop! Stop!” I pounded on the back of
the driver’s seat, unable to handle the pain tugging at my heart.

“Okay. Okay.” The driver stopped the car
and put it in park. “What is it?”

I motioned for him to give me a minute
as I cried.

Cried for Raven.

Cried for everything we had been
through.

Cried for our unborn children.

Cried because my heart only belonged to
him.

What the hell was I doing? Why was I allowing
my stubbornness to get in the way? He needed to know how I felt, what I wanted.

Him.

Only him.

Only Raven could feel the void in my
heart.

Only Raven could make me feel like no
one else in the world mattered.

Only he could hear the sound of my soul.

I needed him.

I was the only one who belonged in The
Raven’s trap. Period. And it was my job to make him see that.

“Take me back,” I heaved, trying to stop
the tears.

“Take you back?” His voice lilted and he
must have thought I was some kind of crazy pregnant woman. And I was — nothing
but a hot mess. Raven’s pregnant hot mess.

“Yes, take me back to…” I searched for
my phone to get the address when I realized I didn’t have my purse. I must have
dropped it when I was arguing with Raven. “Shit, I don’t have my phone.”

“It’s okay. I have the address.” He
pressed a button on his GPS and the addressed popped up.

I wiped the tears away and blew my nose
as he flung the car into drive. I had to tell him, plead my love for him one
more time. If he still turned me down, then at least I could tell our children
that I did everything I could to earn their father’s love. That I had done
everything I could to help him turn his life around. I owed it not only to
them, but to myself. I owed it to us. I was willing to put my pride aside and
find out if there was any hope for our love.