University Park Series Box Set: Books 1-3 (65 page)

“Will you be pitching?”

His shoulders lifted and he tilted his
head to the side. “We’ll see.”

“I’m happy for you, Collin. Really, I
am.” The sensation of tears threatened and I had no idea why I wanted to cry—
again. I wasn’t regretting my decisions or wishing I had another chance with
him. I couldn’t explain the sadness and happiness that filtered through me. “I
wish you the best.” I quickly swiped the tears that rolled down my cheek. “I
really do.”

Damn it.

“Lexi.” Collin gathered me in his arms
and I willingly allowed him to embrace me. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” I nodded and sniffed. “I’m a bit
of a hormonal mess right now. That’s it. Really, I’m good.”

“I’m sorry.” His hand cradled the back
of my head and I rested my cheek against his the fullness of his chest. His
upper body moved in a fast rhythm and I could feel his pulse pounding loudly in
my ear. I just prayed it wasn’t beating wildly for me. I wouldn’t know how to
handle it, especially not now. “I know you’ve had it rough these past few
months.”

The waterworks released at full speed
and I cried hard.

Letting out every feeling.

Every thought.

Every memory I had of us. I guess I
hadn’t truly let go of my feelings for him, or maybe pregnancy was bringing it
all out again. Whatever it was, it felt good and sucked at the same time. I was
certain I’d moved past him.

“It’s not your fault. It was my choice.”
I wiped under my eyes with the tips of my fingers, smearing my mascara. “It’s
the path I chose.”

“Regardless, I’m sorry that he left
you.” With his index finger, he lifted my chin, aligning our eyes. For the
first time ever, I felt a real connection. A deep, intimate one that never
existed when we were together. Something in him had changed and his eyes said
everything he could never tell me. How much he cared about me. How much he
loved me. And how I broke his heart. For the first time, I felt responsible for
everything.

“You warned me, but I didn’t listen.” I
reminded him, feeling the need to blame myself for any heartache I caused
either of us.

“Still, I hate that you’re facing this
alone.” His gaze dropped to my stomach and his finger left my chin, wavering in
front of me before landing at his side.

I looked down at my belly and then back
at him.  “You know.”

A look of disappointment etched deep
into the corners of his eyes before transitioning into an envious green. It was
color that never existed for him, but apparently I had caused it. “Yeah, Luke
told me.” He pulled me a little closer and I studied the way he held me — the
proximity of my body to his and the distance of our lips. Never had he held me
this way.
Damn him.
I searched his face closely, wondering what else was
going through his mind.

I shifted, increasing the space between
us. Things were starting to get a little too comfortable. A tiny part of me
wanted to curse Luke, but the other part was kind of glad he told him. I wanted
him to know, even if it hurt him.

“I want you to know that I admire your
decision to go through with this. You could’ve chosen the easy way out, but
didn’t.”

“Thank you.” An insurmountable amount of
love filled me, all of me, for my unborn children. I knew I had made the right
choice, regardless of whether Raven knew or not. I was having these babies,
with or without him.

“I just wish that the circumstances would’ve
been different.” He stroked my hair and I let out a soft sigh. “Because you
wouldn’t be standing here crying. We’d be rejoicing.”

I pressed my lips together, feeling the
sting in my nose and the burning in my eyes. “I know.” I closed my eyes, my heart
dropping into my stomach. As painful as it was to hear, I knew he was right. I
had chosen the difficult path and I was paying for it. Regardless, it was a
decision I’d never regret. I loved Raven.

“More than anything, I wish I could tell
you I’d be here for you, but I can’t.” His voice faltered and his eyes glazed
over as they filled with tears. In all the years I’d know him, I’d never seen
him cry. Collin wasn’t one that wore or showed his emotions. But tonight, he
was definitely opening himself up to me.

Without even saying it, I knew why he
couldn’t. “You found someone, right?”

“Yes.” He closed his eyes and lowered
his head. With a deep breath, he said, “And I’m in love with her.”

An unexplainable happiness surrounded my
heart, but also tugged at it. He deserved to find someone that would love him
and honor him — be patient, because I couldn’t. “That’s great, Collin. I knew
you would.”

He raised his hand, and with his thumb,
he traced my lips. My body quivered, but I told myself to stay strong.

Not to fall for his touch.

For his sweet affection.

It would be my worst decision — ever.

His hand cupped my face and he stared
directly into my eyes. “I would’ve given anything for it to be you instead.”

For one full minute, my heart stopped.
It was more than I could handle. More than I could take in. Collin was
professing that he still loved me. But it wasn’t what I wanted. There was only
one man for me. He was the one that kept my heart beating, even though he
refused to keep a hold of it. I took a hard swallow and mustered up the courage
to set things straight between us. “I know. I wish things would’ve work out between
us, but they didn’t.”

 The pain behind his eyes told me this
was hurting him more than it was me. “Know this, Lexi, you’ll always have a special
place in my heart.” He pressed his lips to mine and I felt his tears drip to my
face.

“And so will you.”

***

“Thanks for coming with me.” I pulled
into the parking lot of my new OB/GYN’s office and turned off the car.

“I don’t mind.” Delaney opened the
passenger door. “It’s kind of nice not to drive.”

My parents wanted to buy me a new car,
but I refused. After much deliberation, my dad decided to buy my mom a new
Lexus and gave me her old one, which was only six years old.

“This ride is sweet. You can drive me
around anytime.” Delaney shut the door carefully.

“As long as you don’t mind sitting in
the back and keeping an eye on the twins.”

“Sure. Aunt Delaney would be more than
happy to help.” My eyebrows shot up. It was the first time I’d ever heard her
call herself “Aunt”
.
Were things moving that fast that she was ready to
marry Luke? I guess time would tell.

I signed in and filled out the necessary
stack of papers, grateful that my parents were allowing me to stay on their
health insurance. It definitely removed unneeded stress. Once the twins were
born, I’d have to consider other options, since my dad wouldn’t be able to
cover them. After twenty minutes, they called my name and Delaney followed me into
the exam room. The nurse took my vitals, drew some blood, and told me to put on
a gown and wait for the doctor. The same as last time, except this time, I
already knew I was pregnant. It was still nerve wracking because the doctor was
going to make sure everything was okay after having the IUD removed.

I flipped through a pregnancy magazine,
trying to keep occupied as I waited. Pictures of newborn babies cradled in
their mom’s arms made me smile. It was hard to imagine that in twenty-nine
weeks, I’d be doing the same. “Delaney, I want you to take some picture of me
once I get a little bigger, and after the babies are born.”

“Okay. Sure.”

I turned the page and a picture of a
famous football player with his newborn son laying against his bare chest,
stared at me. The ripples of his muscles secured the small infant within his
arms, and I couldn’t help but picture Raven holding his babies. My throat
tightened, but I pushed the lump down. Closing the magazine, I promised not to
cry — not anymore. I had done enough crying over the past twelve weeks. This
week was a turning point, not having cried one day. Maybe I was finally getting
over the hormonal riot going on in my body, or maybe I had finally accepted
that Raven was out of the picture for good.

“Oh, hell no.” Delaney held up a
brochure that talked about vaginal delivery. “When the time comes, I’m not
letting my baby’s head stretch my vajayjay. I’ll just opt for a C-section
instead.”

A laughed escaped me. “Yeah, I guess
Luke wouldn’t like that.” I motioned for her to hand me the brochure. “I’ll
probably need a C-section regardless. I’m not sure I could push out two
babies.”

“I don’t know about that.” She eyed me,
as if trying to peek under my gown. “Your vayjayjay might be big enough.”

I slapped her arm in a playful manner.
“Oh, whatever. I’ve only had sex with one guy, not ten or twenty.”

She shook her head. “Now that’s just
low.”

The door opened and I mouthed, “I’m
sorry”.

“Lexi?” A short, heavy-set woman with
light blonde hair greying around the temples entered the room. “I’m Dr.
Williams.” She extended her hand and I shook it.

“Hi, nice to meet you.”

Glancing at my chart, she said, “Thanks
for having your records from the university health center transferred to us. I
reviewed your history and want to do another sonogram, just to make sure the
babies are doing okay since removing the IUD.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

“Based on your last period, your chart
indicated that your due date is around December seventeenth. What a wonderful
Christmas present.” She smiled.

“Yes, two babies,” I sighed, with a
grin.

I could do this on my own. For the past
two weeks, I’d been working in the writing lab and editing for J.S.
Christensen. It was working out perfectly. But what about grad school? I wasn’t
sure I could handle that, too. And with my growing belly, I knew I had to tell
Dr. Phillips soon and decide whether to withdraw from fall classes.

The doctor did a quick examination,
listening to my heart and lungs. “Everything sounds good.” She pushed a button
on the wall and a buzzing noise sounded. Shoving her thick hands into plastic
gloves, she said, “I need you to lie down so we can take a look at the babies.”

“Okay.” I brought my legs up and
reclined against the examination table. The door opened and the nurse returned.
Taking my chart, she positioned herself behind the doctor, preparing to take
notes.

“I’m going to squirt a jelly-like
substance over your stomach. It might be warm.”

“Warm?” I lifted my head, trying to
catch a glimpse of where she kept it. “The one at the health center was cold.”

She winked. “We keep ours nice and warm
for our future mommies.”

“Oh.”
Mommies.
I hadn’t really
considered myself a mom yet, but I guess that’s what I would become.

“Just relax and keep your eyes right
here on the screen.” She pointed to a monitor that was a little larger than the
one at the health center.

“Oh, wow. This looks totally different.”
The screen illuminated in an antique brown color, not the typical black and
white that most sonograms showed. The image was in 3-D; nothing like the last one
I’d had. “Delaney, are you seeing this?”

Two babies, in separate sacks, moved and
turned, giving us a clear view of their faces.

“Oh my God!” Delaney squeaked as she
scurried to my side. “You can actually tell they are babies.” She looked at my
growing belly and then back to the screen. I was just as amazed. “That one
totally has your lips.”

“And forehead.” I rolled my eyes, hating
that my baby had already inherited the part of me that I didn’t like.

“This baby is measuring a little smaller
than twelve weeks.” The doctor pushed a few buttons as she moved the wand
around my stomach.

“Is that a bad thing?” I studied the
image that looked a little alien-like. But I didn’t care. I knew the baby would
be perfect once it was born. Besides, didn’t all developing babies look weird?

“No. It’s perfectly normally for one
twin to be larger than the other.”

“My brother was a pound heavier than
me.”

“So, you’re a twin?” The doctor
continued to study the monitor as her hand moved over my stomach.

“Yes. Fraternal.”

The doctor’s eyes lifted. “That probably
explains your pregnancy. Fraternal twins tend to be hereditary.”

Great. I was the lucky candidate.

“My grandmother had a twin brother, but
he died at birth,” I sighed, trying to push out any bad thoughts. “Back then,
they couldn’t do C-sections. My mom said the chord was wrapped around the
baby’s neck.”

She patted my arm. “Science has come a
long way since then. You don’t have to worry about that, okay?”

I nodded and refocused on the wondrous
sight on the screen before me. I was still awestruck at the site of them. It
was amazing watching them move and turn inside of me. It made everything seem
that much more real.

“Oh, no! Does that mean I could have
twins?” A look of worry washed across Delaney’s face. “I’m dating her brother.”