Unobtainable (11 page)

His forehead like my own glistened with perspiration. I watched a droplet trickle from his temple and roll past his cheek, I felt it drip onto my neck and shivered.

“Harley,” I panted and pulled my hands free. “I can’t hold it any longer, I’m going to cum.”

I stroked my cock and threw my head back as a stream of hot semen shot across my chest. Harley was grinning like a Cheshire cat as his speed increased and he held his breath. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he pumped a few more times as he shot his load into me. I didn’t think he could look any sexier, but with a fresh flush on his cheeks and a thin layer of perspiration on his chest and shoulders, he looked incredible.

“I told you I would make you quake,” his lips trailed along my neck and collarbone and I shivered again. “You were unbelievable.”

Harley dropped on the bed beside me and let out a heavy sigh. We lay there staring up at the ceiling while our heart rates and breathing returned to normal. I wasn’t sure what to do or what to say, where exactly did we go from here? I didn’t want it to get weird between us, but we’d just had sex, the best sex I’d ever had, and that was no exaggeration. How could we go back to being just buddies?

“I better get cleaned up,” I said, but before I could move Harley’s hand clamped around my wrist.

“Nothing’s going to change…right?” he asked.

It shocked me that Harley had been thinking the same thing, that maybe he too was worried our having sex would alter our situation.

“Of course not,” I sat on the edge of the bed, reaching for a tissue and wiping my chest. “How could it?”

And as much as I wanted to believe my own lie, I felt tightness in my chest when I realized things had most definitely changed in the last thirty five minutes…for me anyway.

“Good, because I don’t want…I mean…I just can’t do a relationship,” he said, as he removed the condom and threw it into the trash can. “I can do sex, but that’s all I can offer.”

“I don’t remember asking for anything, having sex wasn’t my idea,” I said, as I stood. “I’m going to have a shower and hit the hay, maybe I’ll see you in the morning.”

What was that?  Why did I feel I had to throw in a maybe? I started the shower and stepped inside holding my face up into the hot spray, “Don’t let yourself fall in love, he doesn’t want you, he never will,” I whispered to myself.

I tossed and turned the entire night. When I wasn’t reliving Harley’s touch and the way he snarled with every erotic thrust, I was seeing his beautiful blue eyes staring into mine and the smile that melted my heart. I was in serious trouble. I was falling hard for Harley Cooper, the man who didn’t want me, and I had no idea how to stop it, although I knew I had to. He told me to my face, in no uncertain terms, that it was nothing more than sex for him.

“Sex with Harley was a one off. You can never let it happen again.” I heard myself say, then buried my face in my pillow and yelled because my next thought was Harley standing naked at the end of my bed.

~Dyson~

Avoid
:
ə
ˈ
void/
keep away from or stop oneself from doing (something).

The art of avoiding Harley was beginning to get harder as the week came to an end. Tag had left town, so staying with him for the weekend wasn’t an option, and using the excuse that I had to travel for work was the stupidest idea I’d had yet. After all, what was I going to say? I had an accountant’s convention to go to? How boring did that sound? I could have yawned just thinking about that snore fest.

My door was closed with strict instructions that I was not to be disturbed under any circumstances. I had to set up new accounts for several clients, which proved very difficult and time consuming since I was using a new program I wasn’t completely familiar with. I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands, the numbers on the screen were becoming a jumbled mess as they scrambled together. I twisted my neck and heard the crunching of each vertebra as I tried to release some of the tension built up in my shoulders and arms.

Suddenly a pair of large strong hands caused me to jump as they grasped my shoulders and kneaded, the stiff knots easing away by the second. I was so relaxed after just a few minutes that I forgot for a moment where I was.

Lips touched against the lobe of my ear and I tilted my head to listen, “I’m getting the distinct impression that you are avoiding me, Dyson,” Harley whispered.

“No.”

“Then why can I feel you tensing up?” he asked. “You’re lying to me.”

I wrestled from his hold and stood up. “I’m not avoiding you, I’ve been busy.”

“You are never that busy. If you’re not avoiding me, what do you call it then?” he asked, with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his beautiful face. “You’re gone when I get up and you sneak in well after the lights go out. If that’s not avoidance I don’t know what is.”

“How do you know when I come in, are you spying on me?”

“This isn’t grade school and we’re not ten years old. I hear you come and go and last night I was sitting in the living room after I turned out the lights, I waited until you came in. I watched you sneak up to bed…I ruined our friendship, that was the last thing I wanted to do.”

“You didn’t ruin a thing,” I said, as I closed the door he had left open when he snuck in. “It’s all good.”

“Yes I did,” he sat in the end of my desk. “I had to have sex with you and ruined it all, now it’s all weird.”

“Well, it won’t happen again,” I assured him. “Let’s just put it behind us, no pun intended,” I laughed but noticed he didn’t. “You don’t want me and…”

“What I want is crazy, it’s unthinkable and you’d never go for it.”

“How do you know what I’d go for if you don’t ask?” I closed the gap between us until my thigh touched his knee. “Try me, I may shock you.”

Harley reached out and ran his index finger up and down my arm. I could tell he was preparing his words carefully. I had a feeling I knew what he wanted to say by the frustrated crease in his brow. I stroked my knuckles across his cheek until his eyes wed with mine.

“Ask me, Harley,” I could not mask my imploring tone. I was blatantly desperate to hear his bid. “It’s now or never, put it out there.”

“I don’t know about you, but most of my evenings I’ve spent alone for a very long time. Now that we’re sharing my place there’s no need to be alone anymore. I didn’t think I would at first, but I like having someone around. I like have you around. I could never offer you anything like a real connection,” he cleared his throat, “But I can offer you safe sex with no messy complications, just someone to share your bed. I know that makes me sound like a selfish prick but it’s all I have to offer, if you’re willing to give me that much?”

Like the lyrics from a sad song his words tugged at my heartstrings. It was clear that someone had done a number on Harley. He did have a heart it was just so badly battered that he couldn’t feel it anymore. Harley was battling inner demons and all he needed was someone with enough strength and determination to show him how to feel again. Maybe, just maybe I could be the one.

“You want something with a written contract and safe words?” I tittered, trying to break his gloomy mood. “Something promising that when you’re done with me I won’t sue your ass off? We can consider it a tit-for-tat contract. You married me to help me out and I let you fuck me senseless for the remainder of our six months together. How could I refuse a deal like that?”

“Sounds like you have it all worked out,” Harley smiled, and pulled me against his chest. “What do you say?”

I could do this it was a win-win situation really. All I had to do was sleep with him and remain completely detached. I felt my own heart sink momentarily until a thought came to me. If I played my cards right, I’d melt the iceberg wrapped around his heart and somehow help him feel again.

“I’m going to kiss you,” I said, without committing myself.

“What if someone comes in?” he asked.

“No one’s going to come in,” I kissed his lips and closed my eyes as it lingered.

I repeated
detached
over and over in my head and it was working until Harley placed his hand at the nape of my neck and hummed against my mouth, then all bets were off. I was going to have quite a struggle keeping sex with Harley Cooper and the love that I was feeling for him on separate planes.

Harley moved back and my eyes flew open.

“Sorry, maybe this is too much. I’m not saying yes, but I’m not saying no either. What I do know is that nothing should be happening outside the bedroom,” I said.

“You are right. We have to keep it out of the office,” he warned. “At the apartment only, what happens between those four walls stays between us. It will be our sexual haven, no one else can know.”

“I can agree with that,” I stepped back and held out my hand. “But I’m still not saying yes.”

Harley looked from my eyes to my hand and back to my eyes. “I have a meeting,” he lifted my hand, opened it and kissed my palm before folding it closed. “Hold onto that, until I see you tonight.”

“I’ll make dinner,” I managed to mutter.

He was gone. I felt better, I felt worse, I was such a mix of chaotic emotions I started laughing until tears were streaming down my face. What happened…did I just agree to have noncommittal sex?

~Harley~

What had I just asked Dyson to do?

Suddenly I felt like my heart was going to burst from my chest, it was beating so hard. I had basically asked the man to whore himself out to me. I wanted to turn back and walk into his office, tell him I had a momentary loss of sanity and call the deal off. Then again, Dyson hadn’t agreed to any deal, he hadn’t put up much of a fuss or balked at my proposition. In fact without a yes or a no, he had left things dangling dangerously from a thin thread. There was fine line drawn between us, the question that remained was who would take a chance and cross it first?

I know Clair had told me Dyson was unavailable, but I had to see him this morning and it was the minute I caught sight of him rubbing his tired eyes that the crazy idea came to me.

I don’t know what it was about Dyson Michaels that drew me to him so strongly and had me acting completely out of character, but I knew I had to have him in my life somehow. Calling him any more than a friend wasn’t going to happen, a relationship with me could never work. My nightmares were proof of that. I was to remain as a single unit for the rest of my life, no more pain, no more fear, no more fatal blows for this heart.

But then along came Dyson forcing me to question myself.

~Dyson~

When Harley came in I heard him kick off his shoes and race up the stairs. No hello, just a streak as he topped the landing and I heard his bedroom door slam. This made me worry, I was sure we had solved our issue enough that we didn’t need to avoid each other. Then he raced back down the stairs in nothing but a pair of loose fitting black sweatpants, the head of his penis teasingly outlined. The sweats were hanging low on his hips showing off his well-defined obliques and to top it off nicely, his feet were bare. He stood in front of me with a huge grin on his face, rubbing his hand over his gorgeous chest. I was going to burst into flames at any moment, the way he was staring at me he knew what he was doing.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” I snorted, turning away.

“What?” he said, wide eyed, feigning innocence.

“At least put a shirt on while we eat,” I whined.

“Aww…don’t make me go all the way back upstairs, I’m starving and it smells amazing. Don’t you be such a tease, take your shirt off and join me,” he whined back. “What is that smell?”

“Chicken Caprese and greens with red wine vinegar and fresh bread,” I rhymed off, with pride, as I pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it onto the counter.

One thing I knew for sure was that I was a great cook, my mom taught me well. It would never be just meat and potatoes with me and I cooked healthy, making sure that there was at least one vegetable served at every meal, yes that included breakfast.

“Sit,” I told him, fixing him a plate and setting it in on the table. “Eat, while I slice the bread.”

I sliced it into thick substantial slices and placed both the basket of bread and unsalted butter close to Harley, watching while he took a slice and tore it into pieces dipping it into the tomato sauce on the side of his plate, popping it into his mouth.

“Mmm…” he moaned, and a fire in my belly ignited, that was only the start.

Harley devoured his meal like it he hadn’t eaten in a week. It was wonderful to cook for someone that appreciated a good meal. I enjoyed feeding Harley, it was nice to be cooking for more than just myself. I would miss this most when the time came to leave.

“I’m going to get fat eating like this,” he said, as he stuffed a piece of chicken into his mouth. A drop of sauce trickle down his chin and his thumb caught it, I watched intently as he sucked it into his mouth.

The fire in my belly was turning into a blazing inferno, I could feel my cock twitch.

“No threat of that happening,” I assured him. “I cook lean and the carbs I’m pretty sure you’ll work off in the gym.”

“I’d rather work them off somewhere else,” he wiggled his brow and my cock started rising gleefully.

“Eat,” I instructed, as I tried to concentrate on my own meal.

“I wanted to ask you,” Harley started, “about Rebecca.”

“What about her?” I asked, as my semi-erection started to woefully deflate.

She was the only subject matter that seemed to kill my libido instantaneously.

“How long were you together?”

He was still stuffing his face, while I on the other hand had quickly lost my appetite and shoved my plate aside.

“Four months. Why?”

He shrugged.

“Were you having sex with her?” he asked, and my eyes widened.

“No.”

“Are you sure?” he laughed.

“I think I’d remember if I slept with Rebecca,” I snickered. “Why are you asking about Rebecca and me?”

“Curiosity…what were you going to do on your wedding night?” he asked, sopping up the last of the sauce on his plate with the last slice of bread from the basket. “Did you think you wouldn’t have to consummate the marriage? Did she know you were gay?”

“She did not, and I wasn’t thinking that far ahead.”

Actually I tried to avoid thinking about consummating anything with a woman. The idea of having sex with Rebecca had plagued me. She was a rare old fashioned girl thank God and didn’t believe in sex before marriage. I had no idea how I was going to face it once the wedding night came. I suppose I would have had to suck it up and do my duty as her husband. I felt myself cringe.

“This interest you have in the marriage that never happened is really starting to piss me off,” I barked, shoving the chair out from under me as I stood. Clearly I was not interested in talking about it.

Harley chuckled as he stood, walking his dishes to the sink and rinsing them off.

“Are you trying to piss me off, Harley Cooper?”

“You’ve never slept with a woman? How many partners have you had?” he asked, as we traded places, he was slinking behind me. I could feel his heat at my back.

The man was playing a game of cat and mouse with me. It was as if pissing me off was fueling the desire in him. I could hear each heavy breath as he sucked it in and let it out, his scent was deliciously enticing as it permeated my nostrils.

“Does it matter?” I asked.

“How many?” his tone demanded, as his hands clamped onto the counters edge and his arms caged me in.

“Enough.”

“Don’t play with me Dyson, answer the question,” he ordered, sucking the lobe of my ear into his mouth and nipping it with his teeth. “How many?”

I couldn’t think. My brain was quickly turning to mush as the sting from his bite traveled down my spine and landed with a crash in my underwear. My balls contracted and I let out a groan, trying to do the math.