Unraveling (28 page)

“I think I’ll get a turkey club,” I sat the menu down and slid it over to the edge so that the waitress would be able to easily grab it and I wouldn’t have to risk being touched if I handed it to her myself. “What about you?”

Jared continued to scan the menu.

When the waitress came back with drinks, I gave her my order and then we waited on Jared.

I don’t think the girl minded it though. She used the time to shamelessly check him out. Instead of feeling jealous or angry, like most girls would, I felt bad for Jared. Everywhere we went women, of any age, ogled him.

“Um…” Jared said. “I’ll get the specialty burger, no mayo and extra mustard.”

“I’ll put that right in,”
the girl said, taking the menus and spinning around. Her skirt flared up, but I guess that’s what she’d been aiming for. Jared was oblivious, though.

“So,” he leaned towards me, close enough that I could see gold flecks in his eyes, “are you enjoying today?”

“Of course,” I said, taking a sip of water.

“Would you be enjoying it if I wasn’t here?” he questioned, tilting his head.

“No,” I answered, honestly.

A smile lit his face. “I’m glad you enjoy my company, kitten.”

I laughed, twirling my straw around the glass, making the ice clink. “I
love
your company.”

“And why is that, Katy?” he batted his lashes, goading me.

I pretended to think. “I know it has nothing to do with the fact that I love you.”

Jared chuckled, sitting back and brushing a hand over his jaw. “Of course not.”

I shook my head, looking down at the table. “I’m still mystified that I’ve fallen for you.”

Jared snorted. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

“I don’t mean it that way, I just mean… I love you. I really do. I never thought I’d love anyone. In fact, I was convinced that there’s no such thing as true love. How can you care for someone, so unconditionally? It just doesn’t seem possible. I thought love had to be a myth. I had no reason to believe in its truth, until I met you. Jared, not only did you break down all my walls, but you proved everything I believed in wrong.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “I’ve never, in all my life, been so happy to be wrong.”

Jared smiled. “Kitten, I’ll prove you wrong anytime.”

I laughed, drawing random circles on the black, polished, surface of the table. I ran my fingers through my hair and finally spoke. “I used to wonder, what the meaning of love is… and then I realized something. There is no meaning, no
definition
, for love. It’s simply a feeling, an unexplainable feeling that so few have. But I have that with you.”

Jared smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“I couldn’t agree more.”

I let my hands drop into my lap. I was doing far too much fidgeting.

“If someone had told me six months ago, that I’d be in some random town, with a guy I’d only know a few months, I’d have told them they were crazy.” I shook my head. “It’s amazing how quickly everything can change.”

“It is,” Jared agreed. “But I’d say things have changed for the better, wouldn’t you?” he raised a brow, waiting for my reply.

“I would,” I undid the napkin that was wrapped around the fork and knife. “Things have definitely changed for the better… even the accident changed me for the better. Without it… I don’t if-”

“You don’t know if you’d ever have let me touch you?” Jared interjected.

“Yeah,” I nodded, sadly. “And I don’t know if I would have ever touched you.”

Jared nodded, staring into the green depths of his glass of Mountain Dew. “You would have,” he finally said, “it just would have taken a while. I want you to know,” he leaned across the table, his arms cross
ed and biceps bulging, “that I’ll never push you for more. I’ve told you before, but I’m going to say it again. You’re in control of this, Katy,” he wiggled his finger between the two of us. “Believe me, I want more with you, Katy. God,” he moaned, “I want all of you. But I will
never
push you for more. You set the pace.”

I swallowed, a blush spreading from cheeks down to my neck. My hands started to shake.

Jared Reed wanted all of me.

But he also wanted me to set the pace… That would be… difficult. I didn
’t want Jared to be domineering… but sometimes I needed a little push. Like in the hospital, when he said he needed to touch me, or when he asked if I’d like to touch him.

I was afraid if he didn’t give me a nudge
, we’d never move past just touching.

I guess I was just going to have to start taking the reins.

I could do this.

I could set the pace.

I could do
more
, with Jared… eventually.

“I can see the wheels turning in your head,” Jared said, with a chuckle.

“How?” I asked, picking apart the paper napkin.

“Your nose always scrunches and you squint your eyes when you’re thinking really hard about something,” he leaned back in the booth, the vinyl squeaking.

“Oh,” I said. Jared noticed way more than most guys did.

“It’s cute,” he added.

Our food came then and I welcomed the distraction. We chatted through our meal, the easy kind that you don’t have to force. I was finally feeling normal. Now that Jared knew the truth, a heavy burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I’d never felt so light and carefree, not even before my rape.

I now knew what living really means. It means you’re
happy with yourself, your life, and those around you. It means you cherish every moment. You smile, you laugh, and you live in the moment. You just… are.

Jared and I left the diner
and had barely walked three steps when it started to pour.

We made a dash for Jared’s car, but it was too late. We were already soaked.

I said, “Screw it,” and twirled around in the rain, letting it fall and glide down my body.

I heard Jared laugh
but I didn’t care.

I held my arms out at my sides and let the water pelt me. The
rain quickly formed puddles, which I was more than willing to splash in.

This was
me, living in the moment.

I twirled.

I jumped.

I splashed.

I danced.

I lived.

I loved.

“What are you doing, kitten?” Jared asked.

I stopped spinning, and feeling a little dizzy, stumbled.

Jared reached out
to steady me. I fell against him with a thump, pushing him back against the car.

“Whoa there, kittycat,” he chuckled.

I placed my palms flat against his chest, staring up into his impossibly beautiful brown eyes. His gray tee was plastered to his body and his heart thundered under my palm. I shivered, but not from the rain.

“Katy?” he whispered,
tilting his head down to peer into my eyes. I watched a water droplet fall from the tip of his nose, to his lips, before falling off the end of his chin and splashing onto me.

I was touching Jared
and he was touching me. I had no urge to run or pull away. Instead, I wanted to stay there, cradled in his protective embrace.

Feeling bold, I stood on my tiptoes, my hands moving from his chest to the back of his neck. I tugged lightly on his hair and he growled, low and sexy.

Desire pooled in my belly.

With Jared, I was a goner.

I wanted to kiss him.

Oh God, did I ever.

So, I did.

When my lips touched his, an inferno consumed us both.

He gripped my hips tightly in his hands, pulling me so that our bodies were completely flush.

He bent me back, deepening the kiss, and I moaned. My fingers tightened around his neck as I held on for dear life. I felt like I was on the scariest, most exhilarating, roller coaster of my life.

I never wanted to get off.

I started to feel weak in the knees. Sensing this, Jared lifted me up, never breaking the kiss, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

With another growl, he turned, so that I was now the one pinned to the car.

He braced his hands against the car windows, as I clung to him.

The rain pelted our faces, intermingling with our kiss, but it only made it sweeter.

Jared’s hands slippe
d from the window with a squeak and he placed them gently on my rib cage, just under my breasts. The close proximity of his hands to my breasts caused panic to set in, but I brushed it away. I
knew
Jared would never try to do anything I wasn’t ready for. Besides, I kissed him first and then climbed him like he was a damn tree.

He pulled his lips away from mine, his chest rising and falling more rapidly than I’d ever seen it. He’d never breathed this heavy when fighting.

He brushed my wet hair back and bent his forehead to touch mine.

“That was the hottest first kiss, ever,” he said, huskily.

I laughed, my hands going to his cheeks where his stubble brushed against the sensitive skin of my palms.

“I don’t
know what came over me,” I said and as I did, our lips brushed together again.

Jared pecked my lips and said, “I don’t know either, but whatever it was, was hot.”

“I practically mauled you,” I laughed, still clinging to him, my back against his car.

He brushed his thumb over my cheek and then moved his hand back to cup my neck. “I loved it.” His eyes flickered down to my lips. “You can maul me anytime, kitten.”

His eyes met mine again and I was consumed by the love I saw there. It was so pure.

“I want to kiss you again,” I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Then do it. Baby, I’m yours to do with as you please,” he grinned crookedly.

I kissed him, affectively hiding that grin.

I licked his bottom lip before giving it a light bite. He gasped in surprise and nearly dropped me.

“Woman, you’re going to be the end of me,” he murmured. “But –oh- what a happy end it will be,” he nuzzled my neck. “I love you, so much. You know that, right?” he asked, pressing his lips against the sensitive skin
of my neck.

“I know,” I gasped, just before his lips found mine again.

Jared’s kisses were seductive. He knew what he was doing and I was happy to let him control this one.

His hands slid down my ribs, to my hips. His fingers grazed my bare skin where my shirt had ridden up. I gasped.

“Sorry,” he said, moving his hands back up and gripping my shirt.

“It’s okay,” I said, kissing him back.

Why had I been so afraid of kissing Jared? His lips were addicting.

I felt his tongue against my lips and opened my mouth in an automatic response. I moaned.

Wanting more.

Needing more.

Jared.

He pulled back and looked away. A muscle in his jaw jumped.

“I have to stop,” he breathed.

“Why?” my voice was all husky and didn’t sound at all normal. Jared had stolen my breath.

“Because if I don’t,” he looked back at me, “I’ll end up doing something I regret. I don’t want to push you too far, too fast, Katy. But God, your lips,” he looked up at the sky that was still showering rain down us. “Your lips are addicting,” he tugged on my bottom lip.

Hadn’t I just thought the same thing about him?

“Shit!” he exclaimed suddenly, letting my legs fall to the ground. He kept his hands on my hips but I swayed unsteadily anyway.

“What?” I asked, hoping I hadn’t done something wrong.

“Your cast,” he pointed to it. “You’re going to have to get a new one.”

I looked at the soaking wet cast; amazed I hadn’t knocked Jared out cold when I wrapped my arms around his neck.

With a laugh, I looked back up at Jared. “It was so worth it.”

He chuckled a smile breaking out across his face. “It definitely was.” He looked up at the sky, the sun starting to peek through. A rainbow appeared in the distance. “Now, when it rains, I’ll always think of that kiss.”

I grinned. I definitely would too and I hoped we made a lot more memories just like this one.

26
                           

We got in the car, both shivering, but I was still grinning like a fool.
I noticed Jared was too.

We were both soaking wet and the fabric seats of his car quickly grew
damp.

“I think I have a couple of shirts in here somewhere,” Jared said, leaning into the back seat and rummaging around. “Aha!” he exclaimed, pulling a black duffel bag
out and resting it on the middle console. He unzipped it and pulled out two shirts. “Change into this,” he tossed one at me.