Unrequited (37 page)

Sternberg, Robert A., and Michael L. Barnes, eds.
The Psychology of Love
. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1988.

Tallis, Frank.
Love Sick: Love as a Mental Illness
. New York: Thunder’s Mouth Press, 2004.

Tennov, Dorothy.
Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love
. Lanham, MD: Scarborough House, 1999.

Tomalin, Claire.
The Life and Death of Mary Wollstonecraft
. New York: Signet Classic, 1974.

Todd, Janet, ed.
A Wollstonecraft Anthology
. Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press, 1977.

Tuchman, Barbara W.
A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th Century
. New York: Random House, 1987.

Waldman, Adelle.
The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P
. New York: Henry Holt, 2013.

Wack, Mary Frances.
Lovesickness in the Middle Ages: The Viaticum and Its Commentaries
. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 1990.

Weber, Jill P.
Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy: Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships
. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield, 2013.

Wharton, Edith.
The House of Mirth
. New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1976.

.
The Age of Innocence
. New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1968.

Whitehead, Barbara.
Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman
. New York: Broadway Books, 2003.

Williams, Tennessee.
A Streetcar Named Desire: A Play in Three Acts
. Sewanee, TN: University of the South, 1981.

Zeki, Semir.
Splendors and Miseries of the Brain: Love, Creativity, and the Quest for Human Happiness
. West Sussex, UK: John Wiley & Sons, 2009.

The pagination of this electronic edition does not match the edition from which it was created. To locate a specific entry, please use your e-book reader’s search tools.

Adele (pop singer), 197

Adjani, Isabelle, 98–99

adolescence, extended, 221

adolescent crushes, 166–68

Aeneas, Dido and, 69

The Aeneid
(Virgil), 68

The Age of Innocence
(Wharton), 16

Aiken, Conrad, 215

Alexandra, Nicholas and, 41–42

Alex Forrest, in
Fatal Attraction,
6

Alice’s story, 88–92

Amalia’s story, 213–14

Amanda, in
Some Kind of Wonderful,
42–43

amativeness, 73–74

Amber’s story, 125–26

ambivalent attachment style, 109–10

Amini, Fari, 108–9

amor heroes,
70–71

amour fou,
81

amygdala of brain, 195

Andersen, Hans Christian, 162

Angela’s story, 104–6, 108, 111

anima and animus, 91–92

Animus and Anima
(E. Jung), 91–92

Anne (stalker), 157–59

antidepressants, 85, 86, 87–88

Antiochus’s story, 69–70

anti-stalking laws and initiatives, 7, 9, 146

anxious attachment style, 109–10

Aphrodite, 188, 213

approach behaviors, 100

Ares, 188

Ariel, in
The Little Mermaid,
161–62, 163, 164

Aristophanes, 30

Aron, Arthur, 57, 103–4, 109, 189

Aron, Elaine, 57, 189

arranged marriages, 49–50

Astaire, Fred, 42–43

Athena, 213

attachment, social, and letting go, 222–25

attachment styles, 109–10

attachment theory, 48, 108–10

attention-calibrating drugs, 85, 86

Austen, Jane, 16, 197

The Awl
(Monroe), 179

B. (author’s obsession)

     introduction to, 13–15

     obsession with, 39–41, 58, 64–67, 118–19, 136

     pursuit of, 93–95, 196

     stalking of, 1–3, 148

     letting go of, 199–200, 208–9, 220–21

Bailey, Beth L., 50

Baldwin, Alec, 11

Bardo, Robert John, 7

Bartolo (object of unrequited love), 226, 227

Baumeister, Roy F., 41–42, 46, 48–49

Beatlemania, 176–77

Bella Swan, in
Twilight
series, 181

Benjamin Braddock, in
The Graduate,
17

Benson, Mary Sidgwick, 74

Bergner, Daniel, 102

Bernstein, Leonard, 215

Beyle, Marie-Henri, 22–25

Beyoncé, 7

Bieber, Justin, 177

Bill (author’s husband), 200, 220, 222

bipolar disorder, 88, 90–91

birth control, 50, 104–5, 107

Blackall, Samuel, 197

Blanche DuBois, in
A Streetcar Named Desire,
93–95

Bloch, Howard, 21

borderline personality disorder, 86

Bowlby, John, 48

brain scans and activity, 82–83, 109, 195, 198, 211

Breaking Hearts
(Baumeister and Wotman), 41–42

The Breakup 2.0
(Gershon), 165–66

Brehm, Sharon, 29–30, 207

Bringing Up Baby
(film), 16

Brizendine, Louann, 124

Broderick, Betty, 6

Brontë, Anne, 193

Brontë, Charlotte, 75, 193

Brontë, Emily, 73, 75, 193

Bundy, Ted, 179

bunny boilers, 6

Buss, David, 107

Calle, Sophie, 193–94

Careena’s story, 200–204

Carolyn’s story, 132–36, 219

Cassidy, Shaun, 163

Catfish
(MTV series), 33–34

Catherine, in
Wuthering Heights,
73

caudate nucleus of brain, 198

CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), 85, 210–12

celebrity crushes, 176–78

Cervantes, Miguel de, 189–90

Chan, Priscilla, 5–6

Charlie Brown, in
Peanuts,
230

Cheever, Susan, 84

Chemistry.com, 34

Chevalier, in
Slowness,
18

childhood, relationships in, 127

childhood trauma and abuse, 109

chivalry norm, 8

The Cinderella Complex
(Dowling), 222

Clara (author’s daughter), 161–63, 181, 183–84, 228–29, 230–31

Clark, Jon, 122, 123

Clark, Laurel, 122, 123

cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), 85, 210–12

Colapinto, John, 156

Columbia
explosion, 122

Columbiners, 179

conductor (object of unrequited love), 186–87, 214–15

Constantine, 70

cortisol, 95–96

cost-benefit analysis, 53–55, 87

Countess Olenska, in
The Age of Innocence,
16

courtly love, 18–22

Craig (Nikki’s crush), 170–72

creativity and unrequited love.
See
transformational power of unrequited love

cross-dressing, by women, 96, 98–99

crushes, 161–84

     as adolescent rite of passage, 166–68

     
advantages of, 171–72, 174–75

     on celebrities, 176–78

     compared to teen dating relationships, 168–69

     empowerment from, 176–77, 181–82, 183–84

     in fairly tales, 161–64

     in films, 180–82

     identity crushes, 175–76

     on killers, 179–80

     Marissa’s story, 173–75

     Nikki’s story, 169–72

     origin of “crush,” 164–65

     parenting and, 172–73

     Sally’s story, 182–84

     social media and, 165–66, 177–79, 182

crystallization, 23–24

Cupach, William, 9, 57–58

Currer, Ellis, and Acton Bell, 193

cyberstalking, 155–56

Dahmer, Jeffrey, 179

Danny (author’s first crush), 163

Dante Alighieri, 7, 20–21, 144, 197

Dara (stalker), 150–52, 153, 154

dark-side crushes, 179–80

dating culture, 50–51

Dating Industrial Complex, 4–5, 25, 77, 88, 101

dating rules, 25–26

David (author’s early crush), 175

DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), 217–18

Dear Lemon Lima
(film), 180–82

Delphine
(Staël), 131

Dembowski, Countess Mathilde, 23

depression in rejected lovers, 110–11

desire, as privilege of men, 96

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM),
82

dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), 217–18

Diane, unrequited love of, 26–29, 38

Dick (object of unrequited love), 194, 195

Dickinson, Emily, 197

Dido and Aeneas, 69

Discovery
mission, 122–23

divine madness, 68, 188

The Divine Comedy
(Dante), 21

divorce, 74–75

Don Quixote (novel character), 189–90, 193, 206

Don’t Text That Man
(Findling), 149

“Don’t Text That Man” app, 218

dopamine, 82–83, 195–96

double jeopardy for male victims, 159

doubting madness, 64–65

DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
), 82

Dulcinea, in
Don Quixote,
189, 193

Duncan, Isadora, 198–99

Duntley, J. D., 107

Dutton, Leila B., 109–10, 147

Easter Parade
(film), 42–43

Ehrenreich, Barbara, 176–77

Elaine, in
The Graduate,
17

Elaine of Astolat, in
Le Morte d’Arthur,
22

Eleanor’s story, 204–7

Elle, in
Legally Blonde,
183

Emma’s story, 215–17

Enid Hoopes, in
Legally Blonde,
183

Éponine, in
Les Misérables,
96, 98

Erasistratus, 69–70

Eros, 188, 197

erotic melancholy, 71

erotomania, 74, 86

Esquirol, Jean-Étienne, 73, 74

Ettensohn, Mark, 117, 127–28

evolutionary psychology, 101–3, 106–7

extended adolescence, 221

Facebook

     crushes and obsessions and, 133–34, 182

     founding of, 177

     profiles on, 170, 178

     stalking and, 11, 151, 152–53

fangirls, 177–79

Fatal Attraction
(film), 6

the feels, 178–79

Feminist Fiction (Tumblr blog), 178

Ferrand, Jacques, 71–72

Fey, Tina, 44

Fielding, William J., 40–41

fight-or-flight response, 95–96

Findling, Rhonda, 127, 149–50, 218–19

Fisher, Amy, 6

Fisher, Helen, 34, 82–83, 109

fixed delusional state, 124

fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging), 82–83

Footlight Parade
(film), 16

Frankenstein, Victor, in
Frankenstein,
73

Freeman-Slade, Jessica, 156

Freudian psychology, 127, 194

Friends
(TV series), 16

frozen state, 126–27

frustration attraction, 83

functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), 82–83

Galen, 67–68, 69

Garland, Judy, 43

Geher, Glenn, 102–3, 106–7

gender-flipping, 148–49

gender pass for stalking, 141–60

     author’s story, 10, 148

     defined, 11

     female stalking studies, 146, 147

     Findling on, 149–50

     Jerry’s story, 152–53

     Langhinrichsen-Rohling on, 148, 149, 152, 154, 159

     Lasdun’s story, 154–56, 159–60

     Luke’s story, 150–52, 153, 154

     Mitch’s story, 157–59, 160

     Patricia’s story, 141–45

     Sinclair on, 145–47, 149

     sociocultural attitudes and, 147–48, 154–55, 156, 160

A General Theory of Love
(Lewis, Amini, and Lannon), 108–9

Gershon, Ilana, 165–66

Gilbert, Susan, 197

girl crushes, 175

Give Me Everything You Have
(Lasdun), 154–55, 156

goal-linking theory, 57–58, 130, 212

Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von, 131

Gogh, Vincent van, 7

good victim prototype, 153, 154, 155

Gordon (object of unrequited love), 223–24

Gossip Girl
(TV series), 16–17, 33

Gottlieb, Lori, 84

The Graduate
(film), 17

Gray, Macy, 53

“Grenade” (song), 132

Groundhog Day
(film), 126

Guerrilla Girls, 144

Gus (object of unrequited love), 131–35

Harper, Meghan, 177

Harris, Eric, 179

Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy
(Weber), 206–7

Hazm, Ibn, 19

health effects of love loss, 111

Héger, Constantin, 193

Heinrich (object of unrequited love), 104–6, 108

Hermaphroditus and Salmacis, 154–55

Heroides
(Ovid), 189

high mate value, 106–7

Highsmith, Patricia, 203

Hill, Lauryn, 18

Hippocrates, 96, 99

Hoffman, Dustin, 17

Holmes, James, 179

Holmies, 179

hormonal changes and love, 83, 95–96

Hostetler, Caroline, 222–23

The House of Mirth
(Wharton), 16

Hughes, John, 42–43

Hugo, Adèle, 96–99

Hugo, Victor, 96–97

Hussey, Matthew, 101

Hypatia, 72

Ibn Hazm, 19

Ibn Sina, 210

Ida, in “The Suicide,” 131–32

identity crushes, 175–76