Until the Sun Burns Out (16 page)

Smiling, he tipped his head toward me. “After the season you just had, I’m pretty sure it will take more than a summer for me to beat you.”

It’s true that my team kicked butt this year, and I played better than before. I had told Austin all about it. Still, it wasn’t like him to concede defeat. “The Austin I know doesn’t give up so easily.”

He shrugged. “I guess I’ve matured.”

Even though outwardly I grinned, my insides soured. In some ways Austin was the same he’d always been, but in other ways he was so different. It made sense. We both had aged and matured. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was more than that.

It was happening again.

The days were going too quickly, turning into weeks before my very eyes. This summer I was determined not to take anything for granted. In previous years, I’d return home to realize I’d hardly taken any pictures. The summer would end and I’d note that I didn’t stop to savor each moment, that I was always on the go as if I thought it would last forever. I wouldn’t let that happen this time. Therefore, I’d been taking a lot of pictures. So many that Austin had teased me about it. Said he felt like he was at a wedding.

“C’mon.” I squeezed his cheeks between my hands. “With this face, you’d think you were made to be in front of the camera.”

He snorted. “Nope. My modeling days are behind me.”

Lowering my phone, I cocked my head to the side. It was early morning, and we’d been taking a walk along the beach. Since there were hardly any people out it was serene, a foggy mist settling over the water. It was perfect for pictures, and I’d snapped no less than twenty. “You were a model?” I didn’t know why this surprised me. When I met him, I thought he looked like he belonged in the pages of a magazine.

“When I was a little kid. It was no big deal.” Shrugging, he kept walking.

I trailed after him, my feet sinking into the wet sand. “No big deal? This is huge.”

“No, it’s not. My mom was the one who forced me into it. I hated it the whole time.”

“What kind of modeling did you do?”

He stopped and bent over. When he stood back up, he held a shell in his hand. After brushing off the mud, he thrust it toward me. “A beautiful shell for a beautiful girl.”

Wrapping my fingers around it, I smirked. “Nice try.”

“I didn’t realize I was trying anything.” He smiled. “I thought I was giving my girlfriend a gift.”

It still threw me when he called me that. My insides quivered. I was so enamored with being his girlfriend, I’d almost forgotten what we were talking about. Man, his plan had almost worked. I narrowed my eyes. “I wanna hear more about the modeling.”

Running a hand through his hair, he groaned. “Can’t we just make out instead?” His gaze swept the area. In the distance, a man walked with his dog and a woman jogged in the sand. “There’s hardly anyone around. Later this place will be crawling with people.”

It was tempting. We didn’t have a lot of time to ourselves. Not that either of us were opposed to making out on a crowded beach. But we were always cognizant of the fact that our families could come walking up at any moment. The last time we were rolling around in the sand, my dad and Luca showed up. Talk about embarrassing.

My gaze lowered to his full lips, and I sighed, imagining them against mine. Shaking my head, I looked up, pointing my index finger at him. “You’re not getting out of it that easily. You can’t drop a bomb like that and then expect me to forget about it.”

He raised his brows. “But you almost did, didn’t you? Once I started talking about kissing you, that’s all you could think about.” His hand curved around my face, his fingers caressing my skin. I inhaled sharply as he stepped closer. Warm breath fanned over my face.

“Austin.” I shoved him backward with a chuckle. “Now you’ve got me really curious. What is it you don’t want me to know about your modeling?”

“Nothing,” he said nonchalantly. “It was just stupid. All I did was some print ads for department stores.”

“Then why all the secrecy and distraction tactics?”

“I just didn’t want to talk about it,” he said simply. “Whenever I tell you something about my past, you latch onto it and want to know all the details, and I don’t always want to share them.”

“Sorry.” Bristling, I turned away from him and started walking again. “I didn’t realize I was so annoying.”

“Mina.” He reached for me, his hand clamping around my upper arm. “That’s not what I meant.”

Irritation rose in me as I spun around to face him. “I just want to know you, Austin. That’s what happens when you love someone. You want to know about them. I only see you three months out of the year. Is it so wrong that I’m curious about you?”

His face softened, his eyes crinkling around the corners. As he moved toward me, his shoulders dipped, his arms raising as he rested his hands on my hips. “No, it’s not wrong. I’m the one in the wrong.” He gave me a self-depreciating grin. “As usual.”

I giggled. “Your words, not mine.”

The large smile he flashed me told me that he liked how we were bantering again. “I’ve never been good at opening up. I don’t like to talk about myself. It makes me uncomfortable. But I do want you to know me, so I’ll try harder. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now can we make out?”

I laughed. “If you promise to pose for more pictures later, Mr. GQ.”

“Oh, I’ll pose however you want me to.”

Embarrassment burned through me. “I didn’t mean like that.”

Bemusement flashed over his features, as his face neared mine. “Anyone ever tell you how cute you are when you’re flustered?”

Swallowing hard, I shook my head.

“Then let me be the first.” His voice took on a low, husky quality the closer he got. I closed my eyes just as his mouth sealed over mine. Then I melted into him, allowing our lips to fuse together. As we continued to kiss, I memorized every touch, every push and pull, every caress. I knew I would want to file it away for later so I could conjure it up on the days when we were apart.

The days when this moment would be nothing more than a memory.

***

When we returned from our morning walk, Luca was eating breakfast in the kitchen. His head bounced up from his cereal bowl the minute we walked through the door. We had been deep in conversation, our heads bent together, our hands linked.

A teasing smile spread across Luca’s face. “What have you two been doing?” He asked in a knowing tone.

“Taking a walk,” I answered honestly.

But he was persistent. “And that’s all?”

I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yes.” I glanced around. “Where’s Dad?”

“In his office working,” Luca answered. “Why? You two wanna be alone?”

Austin chuckled by my side, but my patience was wearing thin. Luca found so much amusement in my relationship with Austin. It made me long for when he brought home his first girlfriend. I was going to give him so much crap.

“If you were smart, you’d back off your sister right now, bud.” Austin threw him a wink.

Reaching up, Luca touched his index finger to his lips. “Austin, you got a little something right there.”

My head snapped up. Sure enough, Austin had shimmering lip-gloss circling his mouth. Uncomfortable, I scratched the back of my neck. Austin excused himself and hurried down the hallway to the bathroom.

I threw Luca an annoyed look. “Why are you being such a jerk?”

Chuckling, he scooped up a spoonful of cereal. “I just like messing with you. Take a chill pill.”

That was his new thing. He liked telling me to calm down or take a chill pill whenever I got irritated. Too bad it only succeeded in making me more irritated. I glanced down the hallway to see if Austin was coming out of the bathroom. He wasn’t. Leaning down, I spoke barely above a whisper, “You know that Dad’s being a little weird about Austin and me right now, so I don’t need you giving him anymore ammunition. I only get a few months a year with him. I don’t want Dad to try to take any of that away.”

Luca’s face filled with understanding and a little bit of shame. “Dad’s just worried because you two are getting so serious.”

“Is that what he said?” I asked.

Luca nodded. “Everyone can see how in love you are.” He dragged out the word love in a weird way as if merely saying the word made him uncomfortable so he had to make it silly.

“You’re right,” I confessed. “We are in love. And that’s why I need you to be cool about us.”

“Okay. I got ya.”

“Thanks.” I stepped back from Luca as Austin came out of the bathroom. When Austin swaggered in my direction, I gave Luca a grateful smile. Even with all his teasing, he’d always had my back. We were close even before the divorce, but afterward we’d grown even closer. I knew I could count on him.

“I was gonna see if you were up for ice cream,” Austin said to Luca. “But looks like you’ve already eaten.” His gaze bounced to the cereal bowl.

“No way. I’m never too full for ice cream.” Luca shoved back the chair he was in, and it scraped loudly on the floor. I winced as he stood up. “Let me just go tell Dad.” While he ran down the hallway, Austin turned to me.

“Triple scoop?”

I shook my head. “I’ve only eaten one since you’ve known me, and that was our first summer.”

“I dare you to make it number two.”

I stood up taller. “Is that a challenge?”

“It definitely is.”

My stomach already hurt as I imagined shoving three large scoops of ice cream into it. I was certain it would make me ill, but there was no way I could back down from a challenge. I’d never been able to, and Austin knew it. However, it wasn’t until we’d arrived at the ice cream shop that I realized this was the first challenge he’d issued me so far this summer.

Penny was telling me a boring story about something that happened at work today, but I wasn’t listening. I was too busy watching my dad and Austin talking on the back porch. About a half an hour ago, Dad had gone outside to grill the chicken, and Austin had offered to help. I had planned to go out there with them, but Dad insisted I help Penny with the side dishes. Reluctantly I agreed, but my gaze had been locked on the back window ever since. To my surprise, Austin and my dad seemed to be having a pleasant conversation. They tossed around easy smiles, their stance comfortable and relaxed.

It made my heart swell. I loved seeing them like this. 

“Mina, can you carry this platter out to your dad? It looks like he’s almost done with the chicken.” Penny held up a large dish.

“Sure.” I was grateful to be able to head outside.

The air was cooling down. As I stepped onto the deck, the scent of grilled chicken wafted under my nose causing my stomach to growl. It must’ve been loud, because Austin eyed me, his eyebrows shooting up.

I suppressed a giggle as I handed Dad the platter.

“Thanks,” he said when he took it from me. “It will still be a few minutes though.” Setting down the platter, he turned to Austin. “You mind manning the grill for me for a minute?”

“Not at all,” Austin responded.

“Thanks.” Dad patted him on the shoulder as he stepped past us and headed inside.

“Seems like you two are getting along pretty well,” I mused after Dad closed the back door.

“Yeah,” he said with a smile. “He’s pretty cool.”

My heart soared, grateful that things were going back to how they used to be.

“What were you two talking about?”

Austin leaned as close as he dared, knowing my dad was nearby. “He was just asking what my intentions were with his daughter.” There was a teasing gleam in his eyes that made my heart flip in my chest.

“Oh, really? And what did you tell him?”

“I told him I intended to kick your butt in soccer tomorrow.”

An involuntary chuckle leapt from my throat. “No, you didn’t. If you had, my dad would’ve been laughing hysterically.”

“The idea of me beating you in soccer is really that hilarious, huh?”

“Yes.” I grinned. “And you admitted to it earlier. Said that you’d matured.”

“I lied.” He shrugged. “I haven’t really matured that much.”

I giggled. “That’s okay. Maturity is overrated.” My gaze locked with his. “Besides, I like this Austin better.”

“Oh, yeah?” His eyebrows raised. “What do you like about me?”

“I like everything,” I said.

“Tell me what you like. I wanna know.” He was so close that his familiar scent spun around me, making me heady.

“I like how you’re not afraid to challenge me. I like how you’re over confident.”

“Over confident, huh? That sounds like a slam.”

“It’s not,” I assured him. Glancing behind me, I didn’t see any sign of Dad, so I reached out and touched his face. “I like your eyes, and I like your smile.”

“My smile or my lips?” He spoke so low that his voice took on that sexy husky quality that made me weak in the knees.

“Both,” I said. Then I leaned in close and whispered, “But mostly I like your lips when they’re on mine.”

He groaned, his gaze bouncing over my shoulder. “You know you’re killing me here, right?’

I laughed lightly. “Okay, you’re turn.”

“My turn?”

“Yeah. What do you like about me?”

“It would be easier for me to say what I don’t like about you.”

I stiffened. “Why?”

“Because if I had to list all the things I like about you, it would take up the rest of our summer. But I can list the things I don’t like about you in one second.”

“Okay, then. What don’t you like about me?” I steeled myself, wondering what he was going to say. All of the things I didn’t like about myself flew through my mind, and I wondered if ours would be the same.

“Nothing,” he said, shocking me. “There’s nothing I don’t like about you, forever girl.”

***

I woke up with a smile on my face.

Tossing my covers off, I hurled my body out of bed. When my feet hit the ground, I took off running. Even though it was early, the sun was out, shining through the slats in the blinds, and I could hear people already having fun on the beach. Sleeping in was something I enjoyed, but I rarely allowed myself the luxury during the summer. I saved that for weekends during the school year. Right now I wanted to spend as much time as possible with Austin.

Reaching for my cell phone, I shot off a text to Austin.

Me: I’m ready for that game of soccer you promised.

Smiling, I dropped the phone on the bed and made my way over to the dresser. As I sifted through my clothes searching for my gym shorts, my mind traveled back to last night. It was the perfect evening.

Once I was dressed, I padded to the bed and snatched up my phone, expecting a response from Austin.

There was a text, but it wasn’t from him.

Grace: What are you doing?

Since I hadn’t responded, she texted a second time.

Grace: I’m bored out of my mind.

I laughed. Grace had a job this summer at a book store in town. Apparently it wasn’t very busy and she spent most of her time sitting at the counter staring at the door. At first she though it would be a cake job since she liked to read. She figured even if no costumers came in, she could spend all day reading in an air-conditioned shop. Turns out there’s only so many books a person can read in a day before they get bored and want to do something else.

Me: I’m sorry you’re bored. I’m getting ready to go out with Austin.

Grace: You two are pretty hot and heavy, huh?

Me: Neither of us are heavy, but it is hot here.

Grace: Ha ha. I’m so glad you can make jokes while I’m miserable.

Me: It’s not that bad. Find some steamy romance to get lost in.

Grace: I’ve read all of them here. Tell me about you and Austin.

Me: Later. Right now I have to go.

Grace: Boo.

Me: Sorry. Talk to you later.

Shoving the phone into the pocket of my shorts, I headed out into the hallway. I was surprised Austin hadn’t responded yet. Then again, he didn’t leave until pretty late last night. Maybe he was still asleep. Certain that was it, I decided to eat a little breakfast while waiting for his response.

The house was quiet. Only the ticking of the clock greeted me when I entered the kitchen. Attempting not to wake anyone up, I took deliberate steps forward. Then I gently pulled out a bowl and a box of cereal. I cringed as the flakes rattled in the inside of the bowl as I poured it. Funny how you never noticed how loud things were until you were trying to be quiet. After adding in some milk, I sat at the table and ate in silence, checking my phone every so often.

Austin still hadn’t called by the time I finished, so I went back to my room to gather up my stuff. I got my soccer ball and shoes out. Then I peeked at my phone again.

Still nothing.

Me: Guess I wore you out last night, huh?

After pushing send, I imagined the look on his face when he received it. I hadn’t mean it to sound so sexual, but I was sure he’d take it that way. Holding the phone in my palm, I waited for his response. I was sure it would be full of sexual innuendo. When other guys joked with me like that it turned me off, but with Austin I knew it was just that – a joke. Nothing more. Therefore, I found it amusing.

When the minutes turned into an hour, I was perplexed. He couldn’t still be sleeping, could he?

I heard Luca get up and shuffle into the family room. The TV clicked on, some teen show blaring. Biting my lip, I turned my phone off and then on again. Still no new messages.

When a phone rang I leapt up, ready to press talk on my phone. Only it wasn’t my phone. It was coming from down the hallway. From Dad’s room, there was movement, faint talking. Probably Penny. She was the only one who called. Clearly she was up.

Why wasn’t Austin?

It wasn’t like him to sleep in this late.

Maybe he was up and he just wasn’t getting his texts. Unlocking my phone, I started dialing his number when there was a knock on my bedroom door.

“Mina?”

“Yeah,” I responded.

“Can I come in?” Dad’s voice was off, and it caused my stomach to knot.

“Sure.”

When Dad opened the door, our gazes locked. His eyes were filled with pain, his face ravaged. It was the same look he had when he told me about the divorce. He leaned against the doorframe as if he would fall over if he let go. Panic rose up inside of me.

Something was wrong.

“What is it? What happened?” I asked, a part of me not wanting to know, but the bigger part knowing it was inevitable. Luca was moving around in the family room, his footsteps heavy. So it wasn’t him. “Is it Mom?”

“No, it’s not your mom.” Dad stepped into the room, his shoulders stooped, his whole body sagging. While his answer gave me slight relief, his demeanor made me nervous. Holding my breath, I waited for him to speak. After running a trembling hand through his disheveled hair, he looked up at me, his eyes shining.

“Penny called. She just got off the phone with Austin’s mom. She’s at the hospital.”

My head snapped up. “Why?” Austin’s mom wasn’t my favorite person, but I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her.

“There was an incident this morning…with Austin.”

I inhaled sharply. “A-Austin’s in the hospital?” Heart hammering, I shot up off the bed clutching tightly to my phone. “I have to get there right away.” My whole body trembled as I hurried toward the doorway.

“Mina.” Dad’s arm shot out, his fingers closing around my arm. “He’s not there anymore.”

An audible sigh of relief escaped through my lips. My chest expanded. “Oh, thank god. So he’s at home?”

Dad’s face fell. “No.”

I froze. “I don’t…understand. If he’s not at the hospital and he’s not at home…where is he?”

“Mina,” Dad spoke in a low gentle voice reminiscent of when he told me my goldfish died when I was a child. “Austin’s gone.”

“What do you mean by gone?” My pulse quickened as my brain tried desperately to wrap around his words. “Oh, like he went back to Colorado?”

Dad’s lips lowered into sort of a frown, but more like a grimace. Moisture filled his eyes. “No, honey, he’s not in Colorado.”

In that moment, I knew the truth. It rattled around in my bones, it thrashed in my veins. Yet I was still in denial, as if the simple act of denying it could make it untrue. I stared down at the phone in my hand. “Then where is he? He’s not returning my texts,” I mumbled.

Dad moved toward me, his arms coming up around me, holding me steady. “Austin’s dead, Mina. I’m so sorry.”

I hated Dad for spelling it out. For not letting me live in denial just a little longer. Now I had to face it. To look at it head on.

“No.” I shook my head. “It doesn’t make sense. I was just with him last night. He was fine.”

“Oh, Mina, I’m so sorry.” Tears fell from his eyes then, and it split my heart in two. I’d only seen my dad cry a couple of times in my whole life.

I backed away from him, my lips quivering. Tears were fighting their way out, but I blinked them back in. This couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t. And the minute I let myself cry I was giving in. Admitting defeat. Austin wouldn’t like that. Not one bit. “It can’t be true, Dad. Maybe Penny was wrong.” Swallowing hard, I pointed down the hall. “Go call her back. Find out for sure.”

“Mina,” Dad’s voice was desperate now. “You have to listen to me. It’s true. Austin is gone.”

When his arms encased me, I felt like I was under water. Like waves were crashing over me. Like I was drowning. My eyes swam with tears, my throat burned as sobs poured from it, and my body ached from shaking so hard. As I crumbled against my dad allowing him to hold me up, my phone slipped from my fingers. It crashed to the floor loudly. But it didn’t matter.

I knew Austin would never be calling me back.