Valley of Ashes (41 page)

“Wouldn’t worry about any damage to the furniture,” I said. “It was already so fucking ugly.”

“Now it’s ruined, like yours. But my house is still cleaner.”

I mean, seriously, she wanted to insult my
housekeeping
at this point? Fuck prolonging this bullshit. I wanted her dead.

She started edging around the love seat. “That’s why Dean wants to be with
me
.”

“Dean’s
bored
with you, you stupid cunt. We’re moving to Boston. He got himself a job there
before
I found out you two were fucking. Not to mention before he found out you killed Cary, or were doing the nasty with Bittler. Which knowledge is not exactly going to improve his opinion of you.”

“You’re not going to tell him. Because you’re going to be
dead
.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Setsuko. Now you’re boring
me
.”

She was around the corner of the love seat now, coming toward me slowly.

“Dean doesn’t love you,” she said. “He loves
me
.”

She lunged at me, but I parried with the shovel and managed to get a good whack in with the poker. Right across the side of her rib cage.

Made her wince.

“He also thinks you’re tacky,” I said. “And not tremendously bright.”

I swung at her, but didn’t get another lick in.

“I mean, really, sweetie,” I said, taking a step back, poker up in front of me, “he didn’t even want to
fuck
you anymore. We laughed about it.”

“I’m a better wife for him. Better than you.”

I took another step back. A big one. “Why, because you’re so bereft of wit and imagination that you actually
enjoy
cleaning?”

She took another slice at me. I jumped back, right up against the wall.

That made her smile.

I smiled back. “My husband likes smart, articulate women, Setsuko. You don’t happen to be either.”

“I am going to kill you,” she said. “And Dean will be happy. Because he wants to be with me. He calls me his sweet little kitten.”

She came at me low, making me swing with the shovel, but it was a feint and I fell for it.

She tried to slash that arm, but missed.

“Big fucking deal,” I said, dancing out of range. “He calls me Bunny—which, although it is nowhere near as grotesquely insipid as ‘kitten,’ has always struck me as an idiotic endearment.”

She lunged again but I whacked her with the poker.

I tried to nail her with the shovel, too, but I was bleeding a lot now. Which kind of messed with my grip.

She tipped it right out of my hand with the fucking knife. I heard it hit the carpet with a dull clang, but didn’t make the mistake of looking.

Not good.

“I am going to kill you,” she said.

She went for my right arm this time. Sliced my sleeve near the elbow, but no other damage. And I sure as shit didn’t let go of the poker.

I was breathing hard now, and she wasn’t.

And I was losing blood. Which she also wasn’t.

“Your children deserve a better mother,” she said.

I didn’t look down at it, but my left arm was seriously wet. I could feel a steady line of warm liquid running down my palm and onto the floor.

Not just dripping. Worse than that.

Kind of pouring, actually. I mean, not arterial spray or anything, but, like, I could actually hear the drops landing on her already-wet carpet.

“Dean knows it,” she said. “So do you.”

I was a little dizzy, but didn’t feel cold yet. That was good.

And then I thought:
Fuck, the bitch is waiting me out. She knows I’m getting weaker.

She nodded, as though I’d just spoken those words aloud. “Parrish and India won’t remember you. And I’ll be a
better
mother.”

I don’t fucking think so.

Setsuko telegraphed her next move, raising the knife up to her shoulder in what had to be slow motion.

Really? We’re gloating now?

“Oh, Setsuko!” I cried out. “I’m so sorry! I’m
bleeding
all over your pretty white
carpet
!”

She dropped her eyes to my bloody left arm.

Which was indeed leaking rather profoundly onto her tacky albino wall-to-wall, but still, stopping to look? Right up there with falling for the old, “Look at my thumb.
Gee
, you’re dumb.”

I walloped her across the face with my poker, really fucking hard.

Right under the cheekbone.

Hard enough to break her teeth.

I heard them crack and splinter. And I have to say it was rather a
pleasant
sound, considering.

“Ha,” I said. “Made you look.”

And then I hit her again. Same cheek, only harder.

She was still standing, though.

So I swung low and hard into her left kneecap, then snaked my foot around the back of that same knee and hooked it forward.

She went down screaming.

That sounded pretty damn good, too.

I
had Setsuko down on the floor now. But she was still kind of armed and everything.

Which didn’t seem prudent.

So I put my left foot on her throat and proceeded to whack her across the hand with the poker until she let go of the knife.

I stepped a little harder on her windpipe when I leaned down to pick it up.

Just in case.

Oh, poor
thing
—I kind of leaned my weight on that left foot, getting up. With her throat all under it and everything.

And, okay, after I was standing again and holding her sword instead of the poker, I gave her another good lean on the windpipe.

Not, like, hard enough to break the hyoid bones or anything. Just hard enough to make her start crying.

I mean, you’d think having a bunch of her teeth knocked out would’ve achieved that worthy goal already, but it hadn’t.

And besides which, she totally fucking deserved it.

Because you do
not
mess with me, when it comes to my daughters.

I will hurt you.

I will inflict serious damage on your dumb, sorry ass.

Especially if you murder a friend of mine, and
double
especially when you’ve been fucking my husband.

“You fucking
killed
Cary?” I said. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“He was going to
tell
,” she said, kind of mushily, what with her mouth all full of blood and teeth.

“Dean was right,” I said. “You’re really stupid.”

She looked like she wanted to bite me.

So I pressed my foot down on her throat with a little more conviction.

“Go ahead, spit them out.”

She mumbled something, kind of garbled.

“Your teeth, you dumb bitch,” I said. “Because you
really
don’t want to choke on them, the next time I hit you.”

Not a happy Setsuko… poor baby.

“Go ahead, spit,” I said. “I already bled on your carpet.”

So she spat out her teeth, which took a couple of tries.

And when she was finished, I grabbed her by the hair, lifted her head, and punched as hard as I could at the corner of her jaw, trying to get the mandible to slap against her cranial nerve.

I had to punch her again before she lost consciousness.

“Jesus, you’re an
idiot
,” I said. “It’s kind of astonishing, actually.”

Yeah, so much for that not-being-a-bitch thing. Again.

But she’d killed a really nice man. So she could keep fucking my husband. And steal my children.

I waited there for another minute, making sure she wasn’t going to move.

Then I leaned down.

Still breathing,
check
.

Not in any hurry to get up,
check
.

Okay, time to call Dean, back home.

I went into her kitchen and grabbed a nice fat bunch of fluffy clean tea towels, with which I applied pressure to my bleeding arm.

Then I picked up her phone and dialed.

D
ean picked up on the first ring. “Bunny?”

“This is she,” I said.

“Are you all right? What’s going on?”

“Well, your girlfriend is kind of unconscious on her living room floor, and there’s a lot of blood on the carpet. Most of it mine. Also, I knocked about half her teeth out. With a fire poker.”

“What the
hell
—”

“You should probably call an ambulance and give them Setsuko’s address, but not until after you send Mimi over here for me. My arm’s going to need stitches where your little side dish slashed me with a carving knife.”

“Bunny, slow down… what the hell happened, how did this start?”

“Setsuko killed Cary, Dean. And tonight she tried to kill me.”

“
What?
”

“Well it turns out she was also fucking Bittler, and Cary was going to tell you. Setsuko didn’t think that would be convenient.”

“Oh, my God.”

“Apparently, she is also under the impression that she would be a far better wife and mother than I am. And that you would be entirely on board with her killing me so she could prove it.”

“Are you all right?”

“About fucking time you asked. I’m bleeding. Send Mimi over,
then call nine-one-one. I’m going to hang up. I’d like to sit down for a while.”

“Bunny, wait…”

I kind of slid down the kitchen wall. “You have
incredibly
shitty taste in girlfriends. This one’s a fucking
nightmare
. Total psychopath. With absolutely no taste.”

“Bunny…”

“Just send Mimi. Stay home with the girls. I’m going to hang up now. I might need both hands free, if the dumb cunt wakes up.”

I didn’t really want to stand up again, but I had to, to hang up.

And then I figured I might as well do something about that fucking fountain.

So I lurched into the living room and tried to figure out how to unplug it.

Since that would’ve required crawling around on the floor, I just pushed it off the table instead.

Then I sat down for real in the love seat.

Her furniture was hideous, but kind of comfortable—like Marshmallow Fluff, only not sticky.

I had a pretty good view of Setsuko from there, too.

She wasn’t going anywhere. No big deal, neither was I.

Mimi got there first, which was definitely a good thing.

All I had to say was, “Bittler didn’t kill Cary. Setsuko did. And came after me.”

After she’d made sure Setsuko wasn’t going to imminently die or anything, I led her into the bedroom and showed her the shamrock I’d given Cary, which I picked up off the floor and put in my pocket, then pointed out the keys.

“Those are Bittler’s,” I said. “He dropped them on the floor when he was drunk at a business dinner a while back. I doubt a Playboy Bunny is a really popular key-ring motif here in Boulder.”

I didn’t touch them, even though for all I knew my fingerprints were still on them from Alice’s Restaurant.

“Tell me why this is important,” said Mimi.

“The key to the warehouse that burned down is going to be on it. Which is how Setsuko got into the place with Cary, and how she locked up after she killed him there.”

“How’d she get Bittler’s keys in the first place?”

“Well, she was fucking him. So she probably just stole them from his bedside table or something. Maybe he’ll remember when they went missing.”

“She was fucking Bittler
and
Dean?”

“Apparently.”

“Why?”

“Maybe she wanted to cover her bets for getting her visa renewed, how the fuck would I know? Ask
her
when she wakes up.”

“I’ll let the cops do that.”

We walked back out to the living room and Mimi made me sit down again.

The ambulance came, then two fire trucks, then a couple of cop cars.

When they’d taken Setsuko out on a gurney, Mimi told me she’d drive me to the hospital.

She took care of the cops, making sure I didn’t get arrested just at the moment or anything, although she had to promise them she’d bring me down to the station for a statement the minute my arm had been stitched up. My shoulder blade wasn’t a big deal, apparently, though it sure as hell hurt like it was.