Vicious (10 page)

I had to sit calmly at the kitchen table telling them the events when really I just wanted to run to Damon.
The fact that Glynn’s pants were undone and his penis out added credibility to my version of events.

“But he didn’t actually
touch
you?” the officer asked.

“No, but—“

I could just tell that things did not look good for Damon. After what seemed like a million questions later, the police left. That’s when I put on my sneakers and ran all the way to Damon’s house. My heart rose when I saw his car parked in the drive, but then Mr Lucas pulled up in his plumbing van, his face grey. And I knew that nothing was right.

He nodded at me. “Come in if you want. He’s still there, the lawyer’s with him. I just came home to get my
heart pills.” I followed him inside. “I took him down to the police station as soon as he told me what he did. I hear Malone’s going to be okay, so that’s one good thing.” He reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer. “Here. You look like you need this.”

I took it gratefully, sinking down into a chair. “It wasn’t his fault. He was just trying to defend me.”

“He told me he lost control and that he just saw red…” Mr Lucas took a long drink of his beer. “He beat up a man in his own home. However noble the reason is, the courts don’t look kindly at that type of thing. This wasn’t how I taught him. He should’ve called the cops. He’s eighteen now; this could ruin his whole life.” His shoulders sagged as if he were carrying the guilt that I felt.

“I’m sorry,” I told him.

He took a breath, and I felt his overwhelming sadness. “I’m going to call his father and see if he can help. He’s wealthy; and that should carry some weight with the powers that be. If not, then he can afford a far better lawyer than I can. That should help.”

He drained his beer. “Anyway, I’d better be getting back to Damon. I’ll have him call you when they let him go.
Do you want a ride home?”

“No, thanks.
I feel like walking.” It was colder as I started the walk home, but I didn’t care. Poor Damon, this never would have happened if not for me.

Ewan was the only one home. “Diana called. Glynn’s going to be okay, but I hear that Damon’s in a world of trouble.” He grinned nastily at me before turning his at
tention back to his TV program. The blood was still on the carpet, and I just stepped over it and into my bedroom. The red still stuck to the door frame as well, and I stared at it for a moment before closing the door. After that, I got into bed, fully dressed and hugging my phone. I waited for a call from Damon, but it never came.

The thousand texts and calls to Damon’s phone went unanswered. Every part of me was racked with nerves, and I ended up ditching school and walking to his house. Both vehicles were in the driveway, I only hoped that meant that Damon was there as well.

Mr Lucas opened the door.
He still looked unwell. “They dropped the charges. He’s in his room.”

“Thanks.” I flew past him toward Damon’s bedroom, opening the door without knocking. He lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling
. I paused there, just watching him as he lay stone still. Finally, I walked over at sat beside him on the bed. Taking one of his hands in mine, I bent down and whispered to him, “I’m so sorry that happened. I’ve been worried sick.”

He looked at me. “They dropped the charges. You want to know why? My bio Dad probably bribed the cops or attorneys, or whoever makes the decisions.”

“Really?”

“And now I’m moving across the country to live
with him. That was a condition.”

“What?” I gripped his hand harder. “That’s not fair. You’re eighteen. He can’t make you go.”

Damon gave a bitter laugh. “He can do whatever he wants; he’s that type of guy. He says that he let me live with Dad all these years because that’s what Mom would have wanted.” He let out a sigh. “It’s not like I had any plans after school finished anyway. And Dad’s sick, he’s got major heart problems which I’ve made worse by all the stress I put him under by getting in trouble all the time. It would be better for him if I left anyway. He’s got a girlfriend who wants to move in with him and take care of him. He’ll be happier.”

But what about me?
I swallowed down those words. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Whatever. It’s done now. I’m not going to stay here and be the death
of him. I couldn’t live with myself.”

Finally, I gained the courage to say it. “What about us?”

He sighed and sat up, swallowing hard. “Violet, I completely lost control. I could have killed that guy.”

“But he—“

“It doesn’t matter, I’m lucky I’m not going to prison. So he got his dick out and showed it to you? You’re a foster kid. You’re expendable. No one cares about that.” The words rushed out of him. “I shouldn’t have done what I did. Usually I’m calm but around you I act crazy. And this isn’t the first time, I beat the crap out of Ewan for saying you had a nice rack.” I hadn’t known that.

He stood up and started pacing, “I can’t get out of control like that again, Violet.” He stopped abruptly, facing me
, and sadness was evident on his face. “Trust me. This is for the best.”

He may as well have slapped me. My mouth open
ed and closed, but nothing came out. My nails dug into my palm as I struggled for breath, and my heart pounded so hard that I was scared that it would fail.

“Don’t say that,” I rasped when I could manage it. “That’s not fair.” I thought about begging and pleading, I thought about screaming. But mostly, I thought about dying.
I knew he was watching me, but I didn’t want to look at him.

“I’m sorry, Violet. I am. Are you going to be okay?”

Forcing my legs to move, I kept my head down and walked toward the door. But a spark of anger lit inside me before I went through it at how pathetic I was being. I turned to face him, he still stood there, watching.

“
Don’t worry about me. I’ll be just
fine.
You were always just a means to an end, anyway; someone to keep Ewan at a distance. You’re an arrogant prick.” My voice was soft, but the meaning came through, hard and vicious. Just how I was feeling. “I don’t need you.”

I
didn’t acknowledge Mr Lucas either. My focus was keeping this body moving before rigor mortis set in, and I collapsed as a stiff corpse. But once outside, I began to run. I felt like I was breathing a toxic gas because each breath hurt and I doubted my ability to start moving again if I stopped. When the house came into view, I slowed to a walk. Diana’s car was in the driveway, and I sucked in a breath and tried to prepare myself.

She was on her hands and knees, rubber gloves covered her hands
, and a bucket of soapy water stood beside her as she scrubbed at the carpet. She raised her head as she heard my footsteps, a strand of messy hair got in her eyes, and she brushed it aside. Her eyes were red and swollen.

“Glynn’s going to be okay,” she told me.
Her voice was raw as Glynn’s face was probably feeling right now.

“I heard.” I staye
d a safe distance away from her, never daring to let my eyes leave her just in case she pounced.

She blew more hair out of her face and leaned back on her heels. “From what I hear, the kid could’ve killed him the way he was out of control. I know Glynn did a bad thing, but do you think he would have deserved to die for that?”

I didn’t answer her because I didn’t know what I thought. She waited though, and when it was clear that no response was coming, she let out a bitter laugh and shook her head. ”Maybe you did. That’s your track record after all. Did you think that Glynn should be the second man to die because of you?”

I kept silent, like that
in itself was armour.

She let the sponge drop into the bucket and got to her feet. “You know what, Violet. You need to have a long, hard look at yourself and the trouble that constantly follows you
. You need to change your whoring ways before more death follows you. Sometimes I think you’re cursed. Your mother’s crazy, your last foster father died, Glynn nearly died, and the kid would’ve ruined his life if the police actually had the balls to charge him like they should have…”

I sucked in a breath. The toxic gas was burning now. I expected her to attack me, but she didn’t.
“You need to go. Go stay with a friend or something, I’ll call your social worker later. Just pack everything and get out.” She dried her hands on her pants and started to walk past me. But then she stopped and turned to face me, her hand reached out and gripped my arm. I flinched, but her grip got stronger. “I’ll pray for you, Violet, I will. But you need to help yourself. You need to stop the destruction that follows you by living a clean life.” Then, just as abruptly, she let go. “I’ll be out back, just go before I come back inside.”

And with that she walked away, hunched over like everything was on her shoulders and head hanging down.
I stepped over the bloodstain and into the bedroom. Clean washing sat in a pile on my bed, and that was the first thing that I shoved in my bag. There wasn’t much anyway and it only took a few minutes for that bedroom to look as sparse as it had when I moved in. It was like I had never existed.

I slung my bags over my shoulders and started to walk out, but then a thought occurred to me
, and I turned back. Standing on the bed, I grabbed the crucifix which hung above it, and I turned it upside down.

There. Let Diana think of
the devil whenever her mind wandered to thoughts of me.

And with that I left. I wish I could have whistled
, I wish I could have danced on the street to show that I didn’t care. But of course I didn’t, because I did care. But the numbness that settled over me felt good. It made me feel invincible, even if only if it was for a little while.

I ended up at Connie’s apartment, knocking hard on the door several times before I got any response. “Who is it?” her voice finally called through the door.

“It’s Violet. Can you let me in? I need somewhere to stay.”

I heard
locks being turned, and bolts being drawn back before the door creaked open. Connie reached a hand through it and dragged me in. Puffiness and purple deformed her face.

“Shit, Connie,” I said softly. “That’s bad.”

With shaking hands, she lit a cigarette. “He’s in jail right now. He got caught dealing, but he’ll probably be out in the morning.” She inhaled hard. “I’m leaving. I’m not sticking around for him.”

“Where will you go?”

“Somewhere hot, where there’s sand, and I can spend all day in a bikini. Do you think that I’d look good as a blonde?” She gave a sad laugh as she twisted a strand of hair around a shaking finger. “He’s served his purpose, I’m sure I can find someone better and no one’s going to miss me anyway.”

“Want some company?”

She arched an eyebrow, which must have hurt her tortured face. “What about Damon?”

I let my bags drop to the ground and hoped my voice would stay even. “He served his purpose as well.”

She
nodded as if this wasn’t unexpected.  “We’re taking Raymond’s car. I’m gonna drive it till it runs out of gas and then ditch it.” Her lips turned upward in what should have been a smile, but it just made her face look scary with the bruises and the cuts.

“So, when are we leaving?”

“Right now.”

Three years later

I worked the night shift at
Annie’s All Night Diner. Connie earned more than me by working at a bar up the street, but at least I didn’t have to get my ass groped by overly friendly drunks. My drunks were at the end of their night, tired and falling asleep at the tables. They had no energy to eat the crappy food and coffee I served them.

I finished at five in the morning, and sometimes I would go to the bar where Connie worked and have drinks with her and her co-workers. But usually, I just went home to crash. Home was a studio apartment
a few blocks back from the beach with homeless people habitually sleeping in the doorway of the building.

Connie currently lived in a far fancier place. Her latest guy was housesitting for his boss
, and if you stood on tippy toes, you could see the sea from the bathroom.  She had bounced from guy to guy ever since we moved here, never getting attached and taking what she could from them. Consequently she only worked three shifts a week, and her money was spent on clothes and having a good time. I worked five shifts, and my money paid rent and bought food, with little left over for much else. I was tired, so tired. I was tempted to do what she did. I knew that if I put up my hair, slapped on makeup and wore a tiny skirt and low-cut top, then I could attract just as many men as her and maybe I could get a free ride from someone for a while.

But I didn’t want to compromise, I didn’t want to pretend. I liked living by myself even though I lived amongst some really unsavoury people. I hadn’t let a single guy in between my legs since we moved he
re. Even when Connie urged me to get some money for a place when we first got here, I refused, taking whatever work was going. But she came up with most of the money, which I had, eventually, paid her back.