Vicious (2 page)

“Yes, ma’am,
” I answered her.

She looked suspiciously at me as if she couldn’t be sure if I wer
e laughing at her or not, then she gave the door a push so it swung open to reveal my new room. This woman was taking the religious thing too far because the room was barren except for a single, iron framed bed, a set of drawers, and a wooden cross with a gory, nightmarish Jesus hanging from it. It looked like a nun’s cell.

“Make yourself at home. Dinner’s at six. The doors lock at ten every night, if you’re not home, you sleep outside. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am.” I moved past her to put my bag on the bed, and turned to find her still watching me from the doorway.

She shook her head at me
slowly. “I do not like nasty little whores. You’re not fooling anyone with that sweet act, princess.” We just both stood there staring at each other, until she shifted, breaking the stand-off. “I’ll pray for you, anyway.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“And cut the ma’am shit. Call me Diana.”

“Sure, Diana.”

She gave me one last
narrowed look before heading away. I closed the door after her, sighing at the lack of a lock. I flopped down on the bed, it was hard and uncomfortable just like I had expected. No doubt it was to add to my penance, I thought as I lay there staring up the patchy paint on the ceiling. This was my own doing, I’d just have to suck it up and make things work out for me. Well, make them work out better than the last place, anyway. But that wasn’t one strategy I’d be applying again. Plus, Glynn looked too bloated and lethargic to fuck. David may have been old, but at least he was fit.

I unpacked with care. Some of my clothes were nice, court
esy of David, and right now they were the only treasures that I owned. I smoothed away creases before I placed them in the drawers. David had taken me shopping at the more expensive stores as he became fonder of me. After each purchase, I would find an opportunity to drag him somewhere private and give him a thank you kiss. I liked seeing his mouth smeared with my lipstick, it made him look ridiculous and for those very brief moments, power was mine. Usually I hated kissing on the mouth, but I made a special exception for David.

Other visions flashed in front of me then and I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head to rid them from me, digging my nai
ls into my hand so the pain would be a distraction. When it worked, I took several deep breaths and smoothed my hands over the cotton top on my lap. I would remember David with the lipstick; that would be the best memory. He was happy then.

The last thing I did was to walk over to the window and stare out, knowing that I would be disappointed. All I could see was other, cruddy houses, just like this one, and the sky was not visible at all.
I tried to open it but it had been nailed shut. Someone had clawed at the paintwork, even making it through to the rotten wood beneath. I imagined those shards of wood being driven deep underneath the nails of the poor soul trapped here before me. I wondered if they ignored the pain and kept digging. I wondered if they thought pain was good. I sighed and wiped my hand over the mess on the windowsill, the flecks of white paint floated down to the floor like dandruff. I had thought just the tiniest glimpse of the sky would be possible, but it was not to be. There would be no moonlight sneaking into my room at night, and that wasn’t a good sign.

Before I left the room for dinner, I checked my appearance in my compact mirror. I circled my mouth in the
dark red that had become my signature color.
Death Red
it was called. I’d been shoplifting it since I was fifteen, and it set off nicely against my pale skin and dark hair. It also made my mouth look like it had its own personality, as if it were ready to wrap neatly around things in a perfect O. I liked to leave that red on David’s penis. Unfortunately, that had started everything unravelling. But that was okay, everything in my life unravelled eventually. From the moment my cord was cut, everything started to bleed in thin red lines, till gradually, all of me was unravelling thread by tiny thread as if I were woven by the fates and they hadn’t finished the job properly.  If I wasn’t careful, one day it would be like I never existed.

I peered in open doorway
s on my way to the kitchen. Everything here seemed faded, old and orientated toward praising Jesus. This was a mediocre house, filled with mediocre people. I’d had worse though, and it was my mission to stay put through my senior year. I was lucky to be placed at a home in the same school district; that would probably not be the case if I got moved again.

“Can I help?” I asked Diana, who was frying up bacon while she sm
oked. It took all my might not to crinkle up my face in disapproval.

“Set the table,
” she ordered.

I reached up to the cabinet for a stack of plates but froze as her voice bit out.

“Not those. That’s my good china. Here!” She thrust a stack of chipped plates at me. The floral pattern that decorated the edges was faded, just like everything else in this decaying house.

I set out four places on
the plastic tablecloth, and, as instructed, a bottle of soda and some plastic cups. “We don’t have alcohol in the house anymore,” Diana explained as she put a salad on the table. “Glynn’s been sober for two years now.” Glynn was taking his place at the table; he looked tired and moved slowly. He had yet to say one word to me.

“Where’s E
wan? Ewan!” Diana hollered as she sat down. We heard the creak of a door opening, and then Ewan padded down the hall in his socks. Diana swiped at the back of his head. “You know what time we eat. You’ll be out on your ass if you’re not careful.” The look he gave her as she turned back to her plate was one that could kill. All I knew about Ewan was that he hung out with kids that got into trouble a lot. Our school was big so our paths didn’t really cross that often. Plus, my last foster family had been well off so it was easier to act like I fitted in. There was no stigma from rifling through the garbage for food or having awful clothes like some kids in the system had. I didn’t kiss anyone’s ass, but I didn’t get given shit either, even though I kept to myself a lot. All I was trying to do was survive. Ask anyone, and I was a nice, polite young lady.

Except to my social worker.
And to Diana. They knew what I was and what I had done.

“So,” Diana said as she finished chewing. “Are you two friends at school or something?”
She waved her fork at us.

Ewan snorted and sh
ovelled food into his mouth. He had a small mouth and it gave him a pursed, bitter look.

“No,” I said, politely. “I don’t think we’ve got any classes together.”

“That’s a shame; maybe you could’ve tutored him. He’s thick as anything.” Diana munched on her food, either oblivious or not caring that her words made Ewan give her another death glare. I briefly wondered if he would kill her in her sleep, he seemed the type who’d be good at wielding an axe, even though he was skinny and wiry in that drug addict way. We all ate in silence for a while, and once we were finished, I got up and started clearing the plates away.

Diana helped me. “Most nights I’m at my church, so Glynn just likes to sit and watch TV. He likes to relax since he works hard all day, so just leave him alone.” I nodded as she babbled on about house rule
s, and I got the impression that she didn’t care what we got up to as long as it didn’t happen in her house, and no one interfered with her love affair with Jesus.  When she got changed for church, she wore an ‘I love Jesus’ t-shirt and looked ecstatic to be leaving. I couldn’t blame her; I wished that I was going somewhere else as well. Glynn still stayed silent, sitting in front of the TV and drinking something that he probably wished was beer.

Ewan made his appearance only when I had finished cleaning the kitchen.  On his way to the fridge, his hand glided over my ass, pausing to give a good squeeze.
I froze momentarily, before turning to give him a hard shove. He hit the kitchen counter with a grin. “I like feisty ones.” His tongue darted out, wiggling before retreating into his thin lipped mouth.

I quelled my rage a
nd managed to twist my mouth into a nasty smile. “Taking it the only way you can get it, Ewan?” I mocked. “Who would fuck a skinny, acne ridden shit like—“

He was quick. His large hand wrapped around my throat before I had any foresight to move. His face crowded down on to mine, he had the height advantage and I could feel his breath on me as
I struggled to move. His other hand grabbed at the crotch of my jeans and his fingers curved in to hold me painfully in place.

“You’re a mouthy little cunt, aren’t you?” he breathed. My hands uselessly tried to push at his chest, but
he was stronger than he looked and his grip felt like iron. He squeezed at my crotch and an involuntary noise escaped me. It sounded like a whimper, and he smiled at that while I mentally berated myself for letting myself appear weak.

“Hey, you!
Girl! Violet!” Glynn hollered from the living room. “Grab me another soda!” It was the first time that I had heard his voice and that gravelly sound was the best thing that I’d heard all day.

Ewan met my eyes, before releasing me, the hand on my crotch was the last th
ing to go. He smiled smugly as I stood there, breathing heavily and clutching at my neck, my wide eyes trained on him in case he dared attack again. The last thing he did was to give me a stunning smile and blow me a kiss before walking casually from the kitchen.

“Are you deaf or something?” Glynn’s voice came.

“Coming,” I croaked out, before walking to the fridge in an automatic motion and plucking out a grape soda as I fought to get my breathing under control. Ewan was going to be more trouble than I’d thought.

I watched Damon Lucas like a hawk. He was on the other side of the cafeteria while his motley group of friends fawned around him like he was something special; which he clearly thought that he was. I could practically smell his arrogance from where I sat as it rose over the variety of scents the awful food put out. He sat on top of one of the tables, and his friends scurried around him like they were rats, which must have made him the rat king.

Connie watched in the same direction, but she was staring at Ewan whom I had just told her about.
Connie was my best friend at school; which didn’t mean that we were close, just closer than I was to any of the other girls. When I was fourteen, we were foster sisters for a short time. She and another girl had beaten the crap out of me over a dispute over dishes. When that other girl moved out, I returned the favour to Connie. We’d been friendly ever since. She wasn’t in the system anymore though; she had an older boyfriend who she crashed with while her foster family kept collecting payment for her. While she continued attending school and kept her nose clean, no one checked up on her. Her boyfriend was a seedy fuck, but he had his own apartment and income from dealing drugs. That meant that no one fucked with Connie.

“Ew, Ewan,” She screwed up her face as we sat together at lunch. Diana had given me money with the strict instructions that there would be no more until next week and to use it wisely o
therwise I’d starve. “He’s revolting and kind of scary. What’s your plan?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

She rolled her eyes. “Come on. You can tell me. You always have a plan. Plus, you’d better tell me in case it’s a bad plan. Like with your foster father, that didn’t work out so well now did it? And you’re stuck with icky Ewan, who’s probably going to rape you in your bed.” She stuck a french fry in her mouth after saying that so casually.

I gave her a dirty look, but she was right.
I hadn’t wanted to tell her because I wasn’t sure that it would work, but I wanted to run it past someone. “Divide and conquer.”

She raised an over plucked eyebrow at me. “What?”

“Guys like him get their power from being with their delinquent friends, right? I mean, he’s pathetic; he can take me on because I’m weaker than him. But you never hear of him doing shit by himself, right? He never takes on tougher guys. He’s got no balls.” I stole one of her fries. “So, if I get to his leader, then no-balls-Ewan will leave me alone.”

Connie nearly choked with laughter. “That sounds a lit
tle farfetched. So who’s the so-called leader of Ewan’s group of losers?”

“Damon Lucas.”
I nodded toward him. A girl was flirting with him, and his eyes raked down her body in appraisal. What a pig.

She st
opped laughing. “Okay.” She wrinkled her forehead and the thick foundation she had slathered on made her look about thirty rather than seventeen. “But he’s an asshole. How do you know he won’t just screw your skinny little ass then toss you to all his friends to play with?”

I took a breath. “I don’t know. But I’m not going to be Ewan’s whore, and I am not switching schools. I have to make this work.” I must have look
ed sad or desperate because Connie made the out of character gesture of squeezing my hand in comfort.

“You’re clever. I think it’s a stupid idea, but knowing you, you’ll make it work.”
This was high praise from Connie.

“And you can help me,” I told her with a
hopeful grin.