Victorious (4 page)

Once she’s inside the building, the SUV takes off like a shot for the airport, and I’m forced to confront the pain I’ve mostly managed to put on hold while I enjoyed the reunion with my sister. It comes down on me all over again, and when we arrive at the airport, it’s all I can do not to ask them to take me to LA rather than New York.

I have to get back to work before I need to use the money Flynn has made available to me. I don’t feel right taking money from him after having left him.
 

The flight to New York on the private plane is better than yesterday’s flight, but the pilots tell us it’s snowing and sleeting in New York. The weather only adds to my morose mood. I console myself by thinking about the cozy apartment I share with my good friend—and colleague—Leah. Decisions have to be made, and Leah will help me figure out my next steps.

When we get the word that Teterboro is closed to arrivals due to the weather, we are forced to land at LaGuardia and to navigate the terminal, which is mobbed. A woman in the concourse screams my name when she sees me, which attracts the attention of everyone in a half-mile radius. So much for my certainty that no one will recognize me unless Flynn is with me. Fluff starts barking and snarling at the screamers, so I pick her up to carry her.

Josh and Seth leap into action, escorting me through the crowd that surrounds us so quickly, I have no time to do anything other than put my head down and keep moving. I’m deeply grateful for their presence and to Flynn for caring enough to provide for my safety. I wouldn’t have the first clue how to deal with this by myself.
 

Fluff is going crazy in my arms, barking, snapping and trying to get free.
 

After my cover is blown, Josh and Seth move quickly to get me out of there, bypassing baggage claim to deliver me directly to an SUV that waits at the curb. How they arrange these things the way they do is a source of constant amazement to me. Then Josh goes back inside to get our bags while Seth takes Fluff to pee before returning her to me.

When he’s settled in the driver’s seat, Seth turns to me. “Did you know your school announced that they’ve offered you your job back?”

“N-no. They didn’t tell me they were doing that.”

“The paparazzi have your building, Mr. Godfrey’s place and the school surrounded. We can’t take you home. There’s no way we can get you in there.”

I’m temporarily petrified by the idea that I have nowhere to go. Ending up homeless was once my greatest fear, when I was struggling through college on a shoestring budget, always one step ahead of disaster.
 

“Where… Where will we go?”

“We can get you into Mr. Godfrey’s apartment through the garage.”

Before I can tell him I don’t want to go to Mr. Godfrey’s apartment, Josh is getting into the passenger seat and we’re leaving the airport. If I tell them I don’t want to go to Flynn’s, how can I be sure they won’t tell someone I said that? I’m very concerned about doing something to draw more attention to my relationship with Flynn. We’ve already had more than enough.

So I say nothing. It’s not like his place isn’t lovely. It’ll hardly be a hardship to spend time there. And he has that amazing tub that he never uses, a memory that has tears stinging my eyes. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like to be there without him.

I snuggle Fluff closer to me. “We have each other, right, Fluff?”
 

She licks my face, and I’m immensely grateful for the one “person” I can always count on no matter what. We’ve been through everything together.
 

At Flynn’s building, the photographers are set up out front, so we drive around the building to the garage entrance in back. The mere sight of the building and the door to the garage is enough to resurrect some of the sweetest memories of my life, and I’m again on the verge of tears.
 

Seth punches in the code to open the big metal door. He has the SUV inside and the door closing before the photographers can mobilize.
 

I stare at Flynn’s priceless Bugatti, remembering him picking me up for our first date in the gorgeous car and teasing him later about loving that car more than he loves me. My gloved hand over my mouth is the only thing that keeps my sob from escaping.

“We’ll get your bag, Mrs. Godfrey. You can go ahead up.”

I’m left staggered from being called Mrs. Godfrey for the first time by someone other than my husband. I clear my throat. “I, um, I don’t have a key. With me.” I add that last part because I don’t want them to know I’ve never had a key. Well, that’s not exactly true. Flynn gave me one the night we met so I could use his awesome tub any time I wanted. I’d left it on his dresser because I didn’t feel right about taking it.

“We’ll be close by if you need us,” Seth said. “Just send a text.” Bringing my bag to me, he uses his keycard to send me to the top-floor apartment. I let Fluff off the leash in the elevator. The doors open into Flynn’s foyer, and Fluff trots into the apartment like she owns the place. And then she starts barking, snarling and growling.
 

I pull my bag off the elevator and follow her into the living room, where I see that she’s barking, snarling and growling at Flynn.

“Natalie…” He looks awful. His gorgeous face is ravaged by despair. I can tell with one quick look that he hasn’t slept since I saw him last.
 

I’m still angry that he lied to me. I still don’t know how I feel about discovering he’s a sexual dominant with desires I can’t begin to understand. I have no idea where we can possibly go from here.
 

But none of that matters when compared to how much I love him. All I see when I look at him is the man who came running to me at my darkest hour, who went to war on my behalf, who donated half a million dollars to my sick friend and gave me the sun, the moon and the stars. I see my best friend and my love.
 

I run to him.
 

He meets me halfway and lets out a low moan as he hugs me fiercely, lifting me off my feet into his embrace.
 

I cling to him, breathing in his familiar scent, relief coursing through me. The turbulence inside me settles and quiets. I’m back where I belong, and that’s the only thing I know for certain right now.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispers. “This was all my fault. I should’ve told you everything.” His face brushes against mine, leaving dampness behind. His tears shatter me all over again. “I’ll do anything… Anything it takes to fix this. I can’t live without you, Nat. I love you so much. Tell me you still love me.”

“I do, Flynn. I still love you.”

And then he’s kissing me, fiercely, intently, and it’s like the first time all over again, that day on the street outside of Aileen’s when he kissed me like he would die if he couldn’t kiss me right in that moment. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back, every bit as desperate for him.

He pushes my coat off my shoulders, and it lands on the floor behind me. Then he’s lifting me and carrying me into the bedroom. We come down on the bed in a tangled mass of limbs, all without missing a beat in the kiss. His hands are everywhere, as if he’s taking inventory and making sure I’ve returned to him whole and intact.
 

I can’t get close enough to him, even with my fingers fisted into his hair, my legs intertwined with his and his tongue in my mouth. It’s not enough. It’s nowhere near enough. “Flynn…” I break the kiss, gasping for badly needed air.
 

“Tell me, sweetheart. Tell me what you want.”

“You. I want you.” I tug at his T-shirt, which quickly disappears over his head. Nuzzling his muscular chest and taking comfort in the soft brush of his chest hair against my face, I am home.
 

He drags my sweater up and over my head, releases my bra and unbuttons my jeans. I fumble with the button to his jeans, so he helps me.

The second we are both naked, he rolls me under him and pushes into me in one smooth stroke that stretches me to the point of pain. It’s the most exquisite pain I’ve ever experienced. His eyes close and his forehead comes down on mine. The relief I see on his face is so profound it brings me to tears.
 

For the longest time, neither of us moves. We simply exist, together, breathing the same air, our bodies joined, our hearts beating as one again.
 

“Natalie…” He kisses my face, my lips, my neck, and then returns to my lips.

I wrap my legs around his hips, hoping to encourage him to move, but he remains maddeningly still.
 

“I love you so much,” he whispers against my lips. “I almost lost my mind without you. I fucked this up so bad, and I’m going to fix it. I’ll do anything it takes, but please don’t leave me again. Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” For better or worse, he’s my husband, and I love him. Every beat of my heart is for him.
 

His tortured moan seems ripped straight from his soul, his tears dampen my face and neck as he begins to move in me, thrusting deep, withdrawing and slamming into me, over and over again. He hooks his arms under my legs, pulling them up higher and driving farther into me.
 

He keeps watch over me in that sharp, knowing way of his, looking for signs of trouble. But there’s no trouble. There’s only piercing pleasure as his forceful strokes trigger a powerful orgasm that makes me scream from the sheer magic we create together. At least it’s magic to me. I’m not sure now if he feels the same.

Thrusting deeply, he throws his head back, his eyes closed and his jaw tense as he comes. I’ve never seen anything more magnificent than the sight of my husband lost in passion, lost in me.

As amazing as it was, however, I’m again left to wonder if he’s as satisfied as I am.
 

He releases my legs, which are quivering in the aftermath. I hold him close to me, his face nuzzled into the nook between my neck and shoulder. His heavy breathing sets off goose bumps that make my nipples tighten.
 

He groans. “Do that again.”

“What did I do?”

“Tighten your pussy around my cock.”

His earthy language, which would be off-putting from anyone else, is a huge turn-on coming from him. I give him what he wants.

“
Fuck
. Christ, I’m already hard again.”

I’m surprised when he withdraws from me and flops onto his back, his big, hard penis extending above his navel. I surprise myself—and him—when I rise to my knees and bend to take that beautiful part of him into my mouth.

His gasp of surprise makes me smile. He’s taught me how to do this, how to give it to him the way he likes it—deep and tight and wet. I begin by wrapping my lips around the wide head and sucking—hard.

He arches his hips, his hands full of my hair. “Nat, God…
Natalie
… I don’t deserve this or you.”

I moan, letting my lips vibrate under the sensitive head. He’s taught me so much in the last few weeks, things I never would’ve considered doing before I loved him.
 

He pulls himself free of my mouth. “No, Nat.”

“Did I do it wrong?” Will I always wonder now if I’m pleasing him? How will I know?

“Come up here.” He holds out his arms to me.
 

I settle on top of him, his erection pressed tightly to my belly, my breasts flat against his chest.
 

With his hands on my face, he stares at me. “I was grossly unfair to you. I knew it while it was happening, and I struggled with it. I need you to know that.”

“I do know. I even understand why you didn’t tell me.”

“I’m so sorry I lied the other day. I’m looking you in the eyes right now and promising you, swearing on my life, that it’ll never happen again—ever. I need you to believe me when I tell you—”

I lay my finger over his lips. “I do. I believe you.”

“It killed me to know that I’d hurt you so badly, that I’d done the same thing to you—”

“No, Flynn,
no
. It was nothing even close to that. It hurt me, yes, but you lied to me because you love me, and you thought you were protecting me.”

“
Yes
,” he says, sounding relieved that I understand.

“That’s not the same thing as what happened to me before. You… You’re…”

“What, sweetheart? What am I?”

“
Everything
.”

He closes his eyes as his cheek pulses. “The day we met,” he says softly without opening his eyes, “when Hayden told me there was no place in my life for a sweet girl like you…” He opens his eyes, and I see the agony he has endured. It’s plainly obvious now. Has it been there all along, but I missed it because I didn’t know to look for it? “He was absolutely right. I knew it then, and part of me knows it now. But my heart recognized you that day in the park. I knew you as mine. That’s why I went after you. It’s why I’ve done everything else since then. That moment of recognition has governed every choice I’ve made where you’re concerned.”

I’m deeply touched by his heartfelt words. “After our first date, when you didn’t call me… You said it was because of you, not me. This is what you meant?”

“Yes.” He keeps one hand on my face and raises the other to run his fingers through his hair. “There’s so much to it. I don’t even know where to begin.”