Villainess (26 page)

Leila

Theo had been gone for hours, which seemed like an eternity to me. I’d only been able to sleep for a short period of time. Hunger, angst, and my throbbing head kept me awake once the edge of exhaustion had eased.

The front door of the apartment opened and slammed back shut. Theo’s heavy footsteps sounded across the floor as he hurriedly approached the bedroom. I sat up straighter, my nerves ratcheting up another few levels.

He paused in the doorway, his eyes traveling the length of me. Mine did the same to him. I didn’t miss the blood spatter on his clothes. “I did it. They’re all dead. At least everyone who would come after you. You’re free, Leila.”

I swallowed around a lump in my throat. “Free? What did you do, Theo?” I didn’t want any more people to die because of me. It was one thing to have collateral damage for a good cause, and something else completely to be a murderer.

“Project Reaper is no more…again.”

Huh.
After what Kristoph had told me about the original Project Reaper’s demise, and now this…
Maybe they’ll learn their lesson and learn to leave people like me the hell alone.
“Just like that and they’re all dead?” It seemed anticlimactic somehow. Project Reaper had begun to seem like this monster baddy in my head. Like they had their hands in everything.
How did Theo manage to take them out so easily?

“Yeah, just like that.” He reached into his pocket, producing a small object.
A card?
“Ben said he wanted you to have this—before I blew his brains out.”

Ben? I don’t know any Ben. Or maybe I do but just don’t remember.
“What is it?” My curiosity was beyond piqued but I was afraid to get up, my head was still swimming from my injury.

“You tell me.” Theo strode forward, offering it to me.

I plucked the card from his fingers, staring down at it as I let it rest in the palm of my right hand. “It’s just another queen of hearts…” My voice trailed off as my eyes traveled over the letters that spelled out— “Papilio,” I whispered.

The card fluttered to the ground as pain ripped through my head. I clutched my temples, screaming.

Eight years ago~

“You know I love you, Leila. So fucking much, but I can’t do this anymore.” Both of Jonah’s hands were on his head as he paced in front of the bed, his muscles rippling with every movement.

“Do what?” I croaked.

He stopped where he was, his hands dropping to his sides as he speared me with a look akin to desperation. “I told you from the beginning that I didn’t have time and therefore didn’t want a relationship. But I got sucked in. I think—I think we just need a break. I need time to focus on my studies, to sort out some shit, and then maybe if—”

“Maybe if what?” I tugged the sheet over my chest, wrapping my arms around my middle. “If you can’t forget about me, move on, then you’ll take me back?” Anger spiked through my system. “Fuck you, Jonah! Fuck. You.”

“I never lied to you, Leila. I was upfront with you from the get go.”

“You’re just afraid of love—of us.” I hopped out of bed, searching for my clothes.

“Yeah, so maybe I am. I can’t help that.”

“I guess what they say is true—shrinks are more fucked up than their patients, and you don’t even have your PhD yet.”

I yanked my clothes on haphazardly, muttering obscenities to myself all the while. Jonah did nothing to stop me when I left in a huff. I paused outside his door, hoping he’d come after me, and when he didn’t the tears flowed freely down my face. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to tell him about my best friend.
I’ve lost everyone important to me. And I did nothing. I never do anything. No. No—that’s going to change. It’s all going to change.

Pressure built behind my eyes, as if someone was squeezing the optical nerves somehow. I pushed the meaty part of my palms into my face, rubbing as the vision came.

A small smile tipped up my lips when it was done. I could become more. I would become more. And in the end—I would get Jonah back.
I know what I have to do now.

Ben removed his glasses, his dark eyes studying my face with scientific disdain, like I was an ameba under a microscope. “You can’t be serious?”

I leaned back in the wooden chair, trying to get feeling back in my ass. “Oh, but I am.”

“Let me get this straight.” He pulled out some cleaning wipes and began to polish his glasses. “You want to be a part of the program—you want to just give yourself over to us completely, but you want us to erase your…ex boyfriend from your mind. You want us to—”

I stood, leaning over the desk. I ran my fingers through Ben’s tousled brown hair. He was kind of dorky, but still cute. I could work with him. “I’m going to tell you exactly what I want, Ben.” I smiled and bit my lower lip. “You see, I want to be something more than I am. I want to create heroes.”

He stared up at me, swallowing hard. “Why not
be
a hero?”

I pushed his head away, laughing. “Please, that’s not what you do here. We both know it. I know all about the last Project Reaper, and how it failed. I’ll be your greatest success, if you listen to me.”

“I don’t know. I—”

I moved around the desk and shoved Ben’s chair with my foot. He spun towards me and I dropped to my knees. He stared at me with disbelief as I walked my hands up his thighs. I was guessing Ben wasn’t used to my brand of attention. I smirked when I discovered that just because it was most likely new to him, he was very—very interested.

I knew the power I had over people, if I wanted to use it. Something clicked in my head and it felt different than when I merely wanted someone—someone like Jonah.
I’d never used my gift on Jonah, and look where it got me. It’s time I take what I want.

As I slid Ben’s cock into my mouth, meeting his already infatuated gaze, I knew everything would work out perfectly.

“Do it for me, baby. Please.” I leaned into the man, a stranger really, and nipped at his earlobe. “All you have to do is go into that mall, and start shooting.”

“Why? I don’t understand.” He arched into my touch as I ran my nails down his back. “I don’t have much of a taste for blood.” I grimaced.
No matter how hard I tried to have myself conditioned otherwise.
“And I have plans. This world needs heroes, and I want to create them. Heroes sometimes are only revealed under the most heinous of circumstances. I just want to help make this world a better place. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah. I get you. So by me going in there and shooting up the place, I’m helping you make the world a better place.”

I smiled. I wasn’t sure he exactly understood, but he was close enough. And really I didn’t care all that much as long as he did what I wanted. “Here you go.” I offered him a pair of handguns. “Have at it.” I winked at him as I gave him a little shove to get going.

“You going to be here when I get back?” His eyes burned with lust for me.

“You know it.” I waved before getting back into my car. I watched as the man, who I didn’t even know his name, sprinted off towards the mall’s main entrance.

Theo opened the passenger side of my car and slid in. “You’re getting better at that.”

“Mmmm…” I grunted. Sometimes it was hard to let Theo think he was playing me when really it was the other way around. One day, he’d die for me, just like all the rest. It was like I had two personalities, and me, the one I was now, only got let off the chain for special occasions. Ben was the only one who knew the truth. I’d put a lot of trust into him to make sure he followed my instructions to the letter. I couldn’t know about this—all of this—until later, until I could have everything. I’d seen the path I had to take and there could be no deviations. I couldn’t know about my second ability, or I wouldn’t use it on Jonah. I couldn’t know a lot of things until later. I was keeping secrets from myself, but when it all unfolded, it would be…beautiful. I will have gotten to create heroes, and I’ll get the man I love back.
I’ll have everything, instead of nothing, which is what I have now.

I still didn’t know where I’d gotten the, yeah, probably sick, fascination with creating heroes.
Jonah would probably know.
Or maybe I did, and just didn’t want to think about it.
I couldn’t save them
.

“You ready to go or are we just going to sit here all day?” Theo snapped impatiently.

I turned the ignition on the car and pulled out of the parking space, just as the wails of sirens could be heard in the distance.

I undulated my hips, grinding my clit against Ben’s pelvis. He groaned underneath me. I shuddered, my eyes squeezed shut as I pictured Jonah.
Always Jonah
. I could bring the world to my feet. Make them all love me, and I was obsessed with the one man who threw me away.
Or maybe that’s why I’m obsessed to begin with
.

Ben groaned, pulsing his release into me. I rocked into him, milking him dry. When we were both finished, I looked down at Ben, watching him with detachment as he grinned up at me. “I love you, Leila. You know that, right? I only do those things to you because it’s what you want.”

“I know, baby.” I bent down to kiss his lips softly. “You’ve been so good to me. So good.”

“You know I would do anything for you, right? Absolutely anything.”

I met his chocolate gaze head on. “Would you die for me, baby?”

Completely serious, Ben nodded. “If you needed me to, in a heartbeat.”

Present~

All my memories crashed back into me, my true self-emerging to the forefront of my consciousness for the first time in years.

One memory stood out in particular though.

“Leila, what are these?” Jonah asked, scratching his head as he peered down at the three small water-colored butterfly paintings I’d got for him.

I stepped in behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist, and pressed my face into his back. My voice was muffled as I spoke, “I don’t know. I thought they might look cool on your office wall one day. I just liked them.”

“You got me Rorschach test paintings to hang on my wall and I don’t even have an office yet? I’m still in grad-school, baby.”

I laughed. “I’m well aware. I just thought of you, and bought them.”

“The colors are kind of girly,” Jonah teased. “I’m not sure why you’d think of me. And by the way—totally Rorschach tests.”

“Butterflies.”

“You just see butterflies, but I don’t.”

“What do you see then?”

He spun around to face me, pressing his mouth to my ear. “You.”

I grinned up at Theo as I focused back in on him, my lips stretching to the limit when I registered real fear in his eyes.
Maybe he isn’t a complete fool after all.

Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly. I am the butterfly emerging from its cocoon. Time for me to fly away, fly away, fly away.