Virtue & Vanity (4 page)

Chapter Six

The wedding day I had been dreading arrived, and all I wanted was to hide somewhere no one could find me. An army of makeup artists and stylists marched into my room to transform me into a gorgeous bride. For the first time in my life, I felt beautiful. My blonde hair was loose and curled, with a beautiful tiara that pulled it up. The brown depths of my eyes were accentuated with a river of mascara and it seemed that my cheeks, which were usually as pale as snow, now had a healthy shade of pink. But some crucial part was missing, because everything felt wrong and I thought I was a fraud. Tears were forming in my eyes but I bit down on my lips and decided that not crying would to be the one thing I could control. No matter how pitiful my marriage would probably turn out to be, I swore I wouldn’t shed a tear at my own wedding. When I was ready at last, I heard a knock on the door and it flew open before I could invite in whoever was on the other side. Naturally, it was none other than my mother. She probably came to check if I was still in the submissive mode she so desperately wanted to keep me in. She approached me with a wide smile on her face.

“My, oh my, Isabelle. Look at you. You look absolutely gorgeous. Stunning. Sebastian won’t know what hit him when he sees you.” She walked around me and admired my looks.

“I’m sure he won’t, Mother,” I said sarcastically and managed to produce a fake smile, but as always, Mother didn’t take my anxiety seriously at all.

“Oh, you poor thing. You must be afraid of what’s going to happen tonight.” I gasped at her words and blushed, because sadly, I would have preferred to discuss sex with anyone except my mother.

She took my hand and gave me a warm serpent-like smile. No matter how supporting she wanted to come across, she couldn’t hide her true colors.

“There’s no need to be afraid. You see...” It was apparent she was trying to prepare me for the wedding night, but it was the last thing on my mind. I was pretty sure that Sebastian wasn’t interested in me in that way at all. I imagined different scenarios for the night, but us sleeping together definitely wasn’t one of them.

 “Mother, I don’t think we have to—” I tried my best to reassure her.

“It’s perfectly normal Isabelle, and you don’t have to feel ashamed. It may be a little uncomfortable but it gets better in time. You just need to relax and follow your husband’s lead.” She looked like she was already priding herself with the fact that her daughter’s virginity would be taken by a rich Everett heir that night.

 “I understand. Please, let’s not talk about it anymore.” I just wanted to be away from her.

For a moment, we stood there like two strangers, not a mother and a daughter. I had nothing to say to her anymore and she seemed to be bouncing on her own nerves too, probably anguished with the fear that I wouldn’t play my part right. The unpleasant circle of silence was interrupted by another knock on the door and I was informed that there were two cars waiting in front of the hotel. One of the cars was for me, and the other one for my mother and sisters. I felt relieved that I would get a few moments all to myself to collect my thoughts and to calm down.

Once in the car, my mind started processing Mother’s words about the wedding night. I was so anxious and distracted by other things, that it had never occurred to me Sebastian might want to consummate our marriage that evening. My conscience was screaming, telling me that a man would never want to sleep with a woman he despised, but the little voice in the back of my mind told me that if he decided to do so, there was nothing I could do to stop him. Recollections of my short, but bitterly memorable, encounter with him appeared before my eyes and I was sure I didn’t want to be intimate with that man, because no matter how gorgeous and beautiful he was, he terrified the hell out of me. I tried to make myself believe that nothing would happen that night. It was the only way I could ease my mind.

As the car pulled up in front of the church, I clenched my fists together, in a desperate attempt to summon all of my strength to the surface. The door opened and I felt a thousand eyes giving me their full attention. There were photographers taking pictures, as well as people who were just curious to see me. The family’s bodyguard warned me to be calm when he guided me through the crowd to the front of the church. One of my uncles waited to walk me down the aisle. I took his hand and leaned on him, because suddenly my legs were shaking and I felt dizzy. I closed my eyes, imagining what it would be like if my father was alive and if he was the one walking me to the altar. And I so wished I was walking to a man I loved and who loved me back, but that was nothing but empty dreams. Absolute, deadly silence ruled inside the church. The only noise was the sound of my heavy shoes touching the floor. As I was walking, Chopin’s 
Marche Funebre
 played in my mind, because it felt like I was attending my own funeral instead of a wedding. The closer I got to the altar, the louder the whispers of the Everett’s family side became. Clearly, they commented on my looks, my composure, or maybe how inadequate I was for the part that had been given to me.

Sebastian was already standing at the end of the aisle. They say there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but I felt like he was the dark at the end of my light. As expected, his posture was steady and unmistakably dominant. He offered me his hand and I took it warily, not daring to look up at him. Everybody was staring at us and I just wanted the whole charade to end, since I truly wasn’t sure how much more I could take. Somehow, he could feel my distress and he leaned towards me, whispering so quietly in my ear to make sure I was the only one who could hear him.

 “You don’t have to do this, Isabelle. Just say the word and you will walk out free. It’s not too late,” he said it in a tone that meant he didn’t really care what my decision would be, but I knew there was no point of retreat. Not with my whole family witnessing my demise.

His suggestion had evoked such a strong emotion within me and I started trembling. I had to tighten my grip on his hand to keep myself from falling to the ground. The pastor approached the altar and the wedding ceremony officially began. After reading our names and asking if we were there of our own free will, he continued preaching about the meaning of love and marriage. My heart tightened into a miserable ball of regret and I was very grateful for the veil that covered my face so that he wouldn’t see just how desperate I was. Unfortunately, I could still see him perfectly and he glanced at me with a revolted look on his face. Again, I felt ridiculously unworthy of him. When the time for reading the vows and uttering ‘I do’s’ came, Sebastian was the first one to say it. When it was my turn to seal the deal, I froze. 

“I…” I hesitated for a moment, but then I finally managed to say it. “I do.” I looked down to avoid his eyes.

“If anyone has a reason for these two not to wed, speak now or forever hold your peace,” the pastor spoke to the crowd.

I remember quietly praying for somebody to say something, because it was my last chance for salvation, but the room remained silent.

“You may kiss the bride.” The words startled me.

Sebastian removed my veil and my heart started pounding like it would jump out of my chest. Heat crept up my face and burned my cheeks when our eyes met for a split second. Then, my just-husband who had caused me nothing but pain in the short time I knew him, touched me for the first time ever. He lifted up my chin and I felt an electric shiver traveling through my body from the contact. His gaze remained focused on my face for a while. I closed my eyes when he leaned over to me. My trembling lips awaited the kiss that would be the seal of my fate. His lips were only inches from mine and his breath lingered on my skin. Every hair on the back of my neck stood up when the minty breeze mixed with the fumes of expensive cologne took over my senses. The short anticipation was suddenly broken when he moved away from my lips and gave me a cold kiss on the cheek. The flusters in the crowd became louder. Everybody seemed shocked by Sebastian’s action. When I finally dared to open my eyes again he was staring at me contently, mocking me with his penetrating gaze and showing me once more that I was beneath him. 

Chapter Seven

A kiss on the cheek. Burn. I had to have been the first bride who was kissed on the cheek by the groom.

“Our couple seems to be a little shy.” The pastor tried to remedy the situation. “Let’s give a big applause for Mr. and Mrs. Everett.”

The words echoed in my mind—Mrs. Everett. The reality suddenly struck in as the crowd started clapping madly. In a matter of seconds, I went from being a nineteen-year-old girl with plans and dreams, to practically becoming the property of the arrogant Sebastian Everett. People began rounding up to congratulate us and wish us a successful marriage. Mother impatiently pushed her way through the crowd to get to me as soon as possible. When she reached me, she pulled me close, hugging me tighter than ever.

“Smile, Mrs. Everett.” Hearing her say that made me step away from her. “I am so proud of you, honey. Remember what I’ve told you.” She winked at me and I frantically shook my head at her, not caring if anyone would notice how upset I was.

Ashley was standing next to her and she knew how miserable I was.

“I’m sorry, Isa. Hang in there. Maybe it won’t be that bad,” she muttered.

The congratulations that followed were mostly from the part of the Everett family and a few of Sebastian’s friends who didn’t even bother to introduce themselves. I felt like everybody knew how much he despised me.

“What a wonderful ceremony.” Dianne spat her venom again. “Welcome to the family,” she said and moved along before I could even thank her for her insincerity.

Helen was next in line and she squeezed my hands, congratulated me and rewarded me with one of her soothing smiles. She was the only member of the Everett’s who displayed emotions that made her human. The rest of them were driven by something entirely different.

When the congratulations ended, we were invited to enter a limousine as a married couple. Sebastian held my hand and displayed fake closeness for the photographers. He even smiled for the cameras to create the image of a perfectly happy groom. I, on the other hand, was not the master of deception and could not bring myself to smile and act out the marital bliss I was supposed to be feeling. Once in the car, his face transformed back into a cold mask and he looked out of the window the whole time, pretending like I wasn’t there while we were, ironically, heading to our wedding reception.

The location was fairytale beautiful and it would take any girl’s breath away, but I would have traded it for my freedom in a heartbeat. Sebastian held my hand again for our grand entrance, which was accompanied by loud clapping one more time. The toasts were next on the schedule. Jared, who was Sebastian’s best man and, I supposed, a close friend, wished his friend and his beautiful bride to spend a happy life filled with love together. Theodore’s toast was far less flattering as he accentuated that the Everett tradition had once again been continued by the next generation and that he was proud of Sebastian for fulfilling his duty. The weight of my head became heavy on my shoulders and I just wanted to get away from all the curious eyes staring at me intently. God knows what all the people had to have been thinking about me. To my horror, my humiliation didn’t end there. Embarrassment washed over me when I saw my mother was about to give her own little speech. In a fit of enthusiastic madness, she started talking about her hardships of being a single mother of three daughters, accentuating that I had turned out to be a decent young lady, thanks to everything she had invested in me. My cheeks burned as she assured everyone that I would make a perfect wife for Sebastian, because that’s what she raised me to be—a perfect wife and a mother. My heart raced as I prayed for her to end the torture she was putting me through. To my relief, she finally raised her glass and congratulated us and her speech was rewarded by a few claps in the crowd.

Dinner was the best part of the whole celebration, because everybody was focused on the food more than on the newlywed couple. Shortly after dinner, the first dance and the cutting of the cake followed. Sebastian didn’t speak a word to me and he ignored me for most of the evening. Instead of dancing, talking to people, and generally having fun at my own wedding, I remained seated next to my distant husband who seemed like he would rather be anywhere else than next to me. The charade that was our wedding continued for a while longer, until Mother approached our table. She had visibly had one drink too many, because she dared to hang herself around Sebastian’s neck and praise him for being the perfect son-in-law. The look on his face reflected the dose of disgust that he was probably feeling. When she finally let go of him, she caught both of our hands and tried to encourage us to enter the dance floor.

“Come on, you lovebirds.” Her lack of perception that we were anything but in love escalated to the point where it became ridiculous. “You don’t want to sit through your whole wedding. It’s time you have some fun.”

I glared at her disapprovingly, raising my eyebrows as a warning for her to stop. She started mimicking dance moves and then she moved back towards the dance floor. While I sank further into misery, she was having the time of her life.

“I’m waiting for you to join me. Don’t let me down,” she said before leaving us alone.

Sebastian nervously tapped his fingers on the table, then got up and walked to the band. He said something to the band leader before returning to me. The band continued playing but stopped after about ten minutes to make an announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, our beautiful couple will now retreat to continue celebrating their special day in a more private atmosphere.” Sebastian took hold of my hand and pulled me up with him as we stood up. “Let’s make sure that we see them out properly.” The band leader started playing cheerful notes on his guitar while the rest of the band joined him. The guests stood up and started clapping in the rhythm of the music.

My eyes searched for Ashley and when I found her, she waved at me with a worried look on her face. Mother and Jane were standing next to her, also waving at me. Mother was glowing from happiness, clapping and enjoying the charade that was about to take place.

Sebastian courteously smiled to the crowd and then walked me out of the hall and into the parking lot.

It dawned on me that I was alone with him for the first time and the revelation made me truly nervous. While we were walking in the dark, my heart started racing. On the other hand, he seemed to be completely composed and didn’t utter as much as a single word to acknowledge my presence.

“Get in!” he said in a distant, commanding voice when we reached his car.

I opened the door and clumsily gripped my dress in an awkward attempt to sit down. It took me a while and Sebastian was getting upset.

“Will you stop fumbling with that damned dress and sit in the car already?”

His eyes sent me a clear message—obey! Without thinking, I immediately sat on the passenger seat, ripping the bottom of my dress with my high heels in the process. The car engine started the very second I entered the car. Sebastian reversed the car so suddenly that my whole body swung forward, and I screamed because I thought I would hit my head. He glanced at me for a moment, smirked and stepped on the gas. The tires squeaked under the impact of the speed we were reaching. My head was spinning and I closed my eyes, praying to survive this crazy trip. I didn’t even know where we were going but I couldn’t wait to get there. Even though I hadn’t been keen on life in those past few days, dying in a car accident was definitely not my choice for leaving the world. But the most peculiar thing was that, even when driving like a madman, Sebastian seemed to be fully in control.

The song playing on the radio became louder and when I glanced at him, I noticed his cold eyes were wide open and focused on nothing but the road. He had a haunted look on his face. The lyrics of the song broke my heart. '
Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life.’ 
I reached towards the player because I couldn’t take it anymore, but Sebastian’s hand stopped me.

“Don’t touch the radio!” he uttered a warning, then abruptly let go of my hand and started driving even faster.

My eyes focused on the images of the city passing before my eyes, and I dreamt of a different life that could have been, but never would be. The voice from the radio continued to taunt me. '
Well I’ve never prayed, but tonight I’m on my knees. I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me.’ 
I clenched my fists so hard that it hurt when the song ended. Suddenly, we were surrounded by the threatening silence which continued until we reached our destination. From what I gathered, we were in front of a luxurious hotel. Sebastian handed the keys of his expensive BMW to the valet, gave him a generous tip and warned him to be extremely cautious with the car.

***

All of the staff seemed to be alert when they noticed who graced their precious hotel. Sebastian moved straight to the reception and I remained at a safe distance, feeling so small because everybody was looking my way, throwing silent comments at me.

“Mr. and Mrs. Everett?” The receptionist already knew who we were.

“That’s right,” Sebastian said in a very serious tone, not even trying to act like the idea of being married to me didn’t repel him.

“Congratulations and enjoy your stay,” the receptionist said before handing him the key, but he didn’t bother answering.

Instead, he walked back to me and ordered me to move towards the elevator. As soon as the elevator door opened, he practically shoved me inside. My palms started sweating and I looked down at once. Being alone with him in such a tight space was absolutely intimidating. His gaze remained on me shortly, before impatiently traveling around the interior of the elevator.

“Walk,” he instructed when the door opened again.

I followed his rapid pace across the hall, trying to restrain myself from having a panic attack. A powerful fury radiated beneath his calm and cold posture, and it made me fear him more than anyone or anything in my life. I knew what was expected of me on our wedding night, but I was sure that he wouldn’t touch me since the fact that he despised me was more than crystal clear. 
For heaven’s sake, he didn’t even kiss me at the altar.
 When we reached the door to our room, he unlocked it and gestured that I should go in first.

I walked inside and was greeted with a breathtaking interior. It was a huge space filled with sheer luxury. When I heard his steps behind me, the irony of everything sunk in. It was my wedding night and I was standing in the middle of an astonishing suite, surrounded by the general splendor and accompanied by a breathtakingly beautiful man who happened to be my husband. It kind of felt like I was trapped in a nightmare with perfect fairytale accessories. Everything seemed so beautiful on the surface it made the bitter truth even more horrifying. The beautiful piano next to the terrace door, as well as many priceless-looking paintings caught my attention. There was a table with two baroque chairs in the middle of the room, looking out to the beautiful wide windows graced with golden-beige curtains. I turned my head, looked at the king-sized chesterfield bed and swallowed a lump of fear. I stepped away from the bed and my back ended up leaning against Sebastian’s chest. I jumped, swiftly turned around and stepped back. I hadn’t even realized he was standing that close to me. His cold emerald eyes sent shivers down my spine. The voice in my head was screaming
‘Get away from him!’
and it was driving me insane.

Overwhelmed by everything, I decided to go to the bathroom to gather my thoughts and process everything that had happened. I walked past him and headed towards the bathroom, but he caught me by my elbow and stopped my movement. Moments ago I had been scared, but now I was absolutely terrified. My gaze remained frozen on my elbow and he sneered when his hand reached for my face and I flinched. I wasn’t so sure that he wouldn’t want to touch me anymore.

“You have five minutes.” He let go of my elbow and gave me the permission to go to the bathroom. 
What the hell?

I stumbled across the marble tiles and landed in front of a huge bathroom mirror. As my miserable reflection stared back at me, I knelt on the cold floor and tried to talk myself into calming down because I was about to freak out. Ten was the number of deep breaths I had to take to gather courage to return to the room. I got up, clenched my fists together and left the bathroom.

Sebastian was sitting on one of the baroque chairs with a glass of alcohol in his hand, and by the looks of it, he had already drunk more than a fair share. There was a half empty bottle of liquor and another glass on the table. His jacket was on the bed and his tie was loose. Not daring to move, I just stood next to the bathroom door while he observed me.

“Come here.” He calmly invited me to join him and after I hesitated, he repeated his invitation. “Come.” He slightly raised his voice.

Slowly, I moved towards the table and sat across from him. He handed me the empty glass and then filled it with a generous amount of whiskey.

“It’s time we celebrate properly, don’t you think? Congratulations, Mrs. Everett,” he said with a sarcastic grin and raised his glass in an attempt to make a toast.

I raised mine as well to respond, but instantly put it down. “I... I don’t drink alcohol,” I offered an explanation.

“Oh, I see. It probably goes against your
high moral values
.” He smirked and then his face turned dead serious. “You don’t have to put on a show for me. I have already married you, haven’t I?”