Virtue & Vanity (10 page)

“Isabelle, open the door. I’m warning you. Don’t make me come and get you!”

I didn’t reply, just cried silently, ashamed that I was aroused by his touch. While my mind was disgusted by him, my body had betrayed me. Another frightening series of thumps on the door had followed. He was furious. 
Oh my God,
 
what had I done?

“I’m not leaving until you open the fucking door, Isabelle. Do you hear me?” he yelled.

Great, I had managed to get myself into an even bigger trouble. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever. The longer I stayed locked in, the angrier he would get. Then again, if I dared to go out, God only knew what kind of painful and perverted things he would do to me.

“Goddamn it, Isabelle!” He kicked the door so hard, for a moment I thought he would break it and get inside.

I hugged my knees, rocking back and forth, crazy with fear and I realized the locked bathroom door wasn’t protecting me, because he was about to tear it down. No matter how scary the experience awaiting me would have been, I knew I couldn’t avoid it. I got up on my weak legs and unlocked the door. Sebastian was leaning on the doorframe, watching me with the scariest look ever. Raw strength radiated from his body as his heavy breathing and heaving shoulders threatened my entire existence. Then his hand flew to my right cheek and he slapped me so hard, I hit the cold floor. But it didn’t end there. As I was weeping in shock, he grabbed me by my elbow and ordered me to stand up. I allowed his strength to pull me back on my feet. I feared the worst with every fiber of my being when he let go of me and stepped aside. My weak knees were barely keeping me upright. He had a haunted look on his face while he shook his head at me as I gaped at him with fear.

“Hit me or disrespect me again, and I swear there will be a much harder retaliation coming your way,” he threatened, and when he moved towards me I stumbled back, fearing he would hit me again.

He stopped his movement as our eyes locked together, and after we stared at each other for what felt like eternity, he said something that rocked the very foundation of my core.

“Don’t look at me like that. You may be a pathetic excuse for a wife, but you signed that deal and don’t think there’ll be an easy way out of it. You will comply!”

I stared at him in confusion. What was this deal he was talking about? For a brief moment, I thought about asking him but I discarded that idea. I felt the throbbing on my face and I lightly touched the bruise with my hand and something flickered in Sebastian’s eyes. He quickly looked away from me and then, without sparing me another glance, he left, slamming the door behind him.

***

The agony that took hold of me didn’t subside even after he was gone. A small sigh of relief that he hadn’t forced me to sleep with him, released from my tired body. But he was absolutely right. What difference did it make if it happened that night or any other? It couldn’t be avoided and the anticipation only made it worse. I wondered how many nights I would spend fearing his touch would wake me up. Even worse, my reaction to him that day made me desperate, because I couldn’t bear the thought of being excited by the touch that was driven by hatred and contempt. I had always fantasized of finding true love. Just like fairytale heroines, I’d childishly imagined that my Prince Charming would come and save me from my evil mother one day. He would help me heal and encourage me to fight for my dreams. His touch would be governed by affection—not disdain. Sebastian had taken that away from me, leaving me completely broken and convinced that nobody could mend my shattered pieces back together. The illusions I’d once had about my wedding night came back to my mind, reminding me how cruelly the fates had toyed with me.

The urge to wash away my shame and sadness wouldn’t leave me alone, so I spent an eternity under the shower, replaying the memory of everything that had happened. His warning left me confused and wondering about that deal. He mentioned that I was buying time as his wife and that didn’t make any sense to me. I was sure he was referring to something I didn’t know about. Whatever it was, I decided that I didn’t want to know.

When I turned off the faucet and the water stopped running, I heard the phone and decided to ignore it because I truly wasn’t in the mood to talk to anybody. As I was putting on my clothes, waiting for the annoying noise to stop, I was surprised that it just kept ringing. I hurried to the room and the first thing that struck me was a bag of ice, laying on the nightstand. I brushed my hand along my left cheek, which was painful to touch. Sebastian had hit me pretty hard but I was so concentrated on my emotions, that the swollen cheek hadn’t bothered me until now. The puzzling thought about the person who had brought the ice was quickly interrupted by the repeated, consistent ringing of the phone. Somebody was eager to get through to me, so I had to pick it up.

“Hello,” I said in a cold, distant voice as I pressed the bag of ice to my cheek.

I winced from the touch of coldness against my hot pulsating skin.

“Isa, I have been worried sick about you. I thought you said you would call back. Why did you hang up? What happened?” Ashley was frantic.

“Nothing happened. Don’t worry.” I tried to appear calm, but my voice cracked, revealing my true state of mind.

“Don’t lie to me Isa. You’re not okay,” she accused me.

“No, really, I... I’m fine.” A chocked sob escaped my throat.

“Isa?” I didn’t dare to say anything, because I was at the verge of crying. “Isa, please say something,” she kept insisting and another sob escaped me.

The gate that I couldn’t close had opened and muttered sounds of fighting tears traveled to my sister through the phone.

“Isa, what’s going on? What did he do to you?” she kept asking as the tears followed by more muffled sobs started falling.

“Mother, something’s wrong. She’s crying. We have to help her.” Ashley tried to alarm my mother, but when she took over the phone she was calm.

“Isabelle, it’s Mom. Tell me what’s wrong,” she insisted.

“Everything.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“What happened? Did you have a fight with Sebastian?” It sounded like she was accusing me of something.

“No. We didn’t have a fight,” I said through tears. 
Our problems were much bigger.

“Then what happened? Did he hurt you?” She wasn’t even mildly upset by that possibility.

“Yes,” I said through sobs.

“When did he hurt you?” she asked but I wasn’t sure if I should tell her. “When Isabelle?” She was persistent.

“On... on our wedding night.” I cried from the embarrassment.

“I see. Wait a second while I talk to Ashley, honey.” I heard her drop the phone. “Ashley, go to your room. I have to talk to your sister.”

Ashley protested for a while, but then obeyed mother’s order.

“Has he consummated the marriage? Is that what you’re referring to?” She was back on the line.

“Yes.” I cried inconsolably like an infant.

“Isabelle,” she used her famous reassuring voice. “I thought we talked about it on your wedding day. It was normal honey. It’ll get better in time, I promise.” She even chuckled on the phone.

“Mother, I-I didn’t want it and he... he didn’t care,” I barely pronounced the words through tears.

“Isabelle what do you mean you didn’t want it? Sebastian is your husband. I don’t know what to say. I understand you feel a bit uneasy, but these things are completely normal in a marriage. You should be flattered to have a husband like him, instead of crying about something that is perfectly natural,” she spoke, like she was shocked by my behavior.

“Mother?!” I shrieked because I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. “You don’t know... you don’t know what it was like.” I tried to make her understand how much I was suffering.

“Next time try to be more relaxed and it will feel much better,” she talked smoothly, ignoring my anxiety.

I knew she wouldn’t understand and for that reason, I didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

“I’m really tired.” I wiped my tears and greeted her. “It was nice to hear from you. I have to go now.”

I was getting ready to hang up the phone when she interrupted me.

“Isabelle, you better be wise and play your cards right. If I were you, I wouldn’t deny my husband. Don’t forget what happens if your marriage fails,” she threatened.

“How could I forget?” I said bitterly and hung up the phone.

That night, I fell asleep with a powerful knot of anxiety twisting my stomach. Although I didn’t expect any kind of support from my mother, her view of the matter still bothered me. I was furious at myself for even telling her anything, but I couldn’t help the need to unload the burden of fear that troubled me. The thought of him coming back that night and completing my humiliation lingered in my mind, but I was too tired to be afraid. Entirely drained out, I closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them again I would be far away from that place.

Chapter Thirteen

The serenity of the rose garden invaded my senses as I enjoyed one of my books on the swinging chair. The chirping of the birds invited me to close my eyes and focus on the soothing sounds of their symphony. I took a deep breath, inhaling the mild summer breeze and let it travel through me. The sun bathed my face and that brief moment of happiness was so precious that I wanted to keep it forever. Slowly, the heavenly peace and immense harmony embedded in my surroundings lulled me to sleep.

That feeling lasted until I felt a painful grip on my shoulders. I tried to free myself, but the harder I tried, the stronger the grip became. An angry voice was calling my name from the distance and even though I wasn’t moving, the noise became louder. I gasped for breath, close to suffocating, as I felt the grip spreading through my body and possess it completely.

“Open your eyes!” The voice was so near, whispering its threat.

Although my intuition somehow warned me that I should obey it, I was too afraid to see where I was, sensing that the serenity from just a few moments ago was far away at that moment.

“No more tears, Isabelle. It’s too late for that.”

It was his voice uttering the scary threat that instantly made me open my eyes. To my horror, I was trapped in that hotel room and he was hurting me again. Air! I needed air! I couldn’t breathe while he was on top of me. I tried to utter a plea for him to let me go but my voice was completely gone. Only tortured shrieks managed to escape my throat. My heart pounded loudly as I tried to break free.

“Sebastian is your husband!” I heard my mother’s appalled voice.

Just when I thought nothing would set me free from the hell I was trapped in, someone stroked my hair and talked to me with the voice of an angel.

“Wake up Isabelle. It’s just a dream sweetheart.” The voice of heaven called me.

I woke up sweaty, flustered and hyperventilating. Anne glanced at me while stroking my hair.

“It was just a dream, Isabelle. It’s alright,” she comforted me.

I looked at her in desperation, wondering if I would ever be normal again. She removed her hands from my hair and I sat upright, trying to breathe evenly.

“What happened dear?” Anne looked at me with concern when she noticed my bruised cheek.

Her panicked reaction startled me because I had yet to see the damage on my face, but I had to remain calm or Anne would be treated to another one of my breakdowns.

“It’s okay.” I tried to reassure her.

Her facial expression made it clear that she knew it wasn’t okay, but she would drop the subject anyway.

“Isabelle, Miss Everett is waiting for you downstairs to take you shopping,” she said with a smile on her face.

“Oh my God, I forgot about that.” I started panicking at the thought of Sebastian scowling at me again.

“Don’t worry. She’s downstairs having breakfast with Sebastian. Take your time. But don’t make it too long.”

After I thanked her and assured her I didn’t need any help, she left me alone with a pile of clothes on the floor. I still needed to choose something from that pile and wear it in front of Sebastian for the last time. After everything that had happened the day before, I felt anxious about being in the same house with him, let alone letting him see me in my 
rags
 again. Resigned, I chose something to wear and hurried to the bathroom. The reflection of the girl with a bruised face startled me, and I doubted that makeup could cover it up. I took a quick shower, put on my clothes and spent minutes trying to mask the throbbing bruise on my face. When I finally accepted that makeup could only do so much, I tried to pull my hair over the blemish as much as possible, but I still couldn’t camouflage it completely. Realizing there was nothing else I could do about it I gave up and headed downstairs to meet Helen.

The anguish of seeing Sebastian increased as I got closer to the dining room. I could have sworn I heard laughter. The moment I entered the room, the noise subsided and it was replaced by the unpleasant silence. Sebastian sat at the head of the table, his features cold and disturbing as usual. Helen gave us a puzzled look before greeting me.

“Isabelle, I’m so excited to see you again. I can’t wait for us to hit the city.” She hugged me and my long hair got moved from my face in the process.

“I’m happy to see you too. It will be a lot of fun shopping with you,” I said nervously because I was self-conscious about the bruise.

A part of me hoped she wouldn’t notice, but the look on her face told me otherwise. My face turned scarlet as she inspected it before glancing questioningly at her brother.

“Isabelle, what happened?” Helen asked me, worried.

Sebastian gaped at me with an expression I couldn’t decipher. I quickly had to think of something that made sense.

“It was an accident,” I said the only thing that came to my mind.

Helen arched her eyebrows. “An accident?”

“One of the maids accidentally slammed the door against my face when I tried to leave the room while she was walking in,” I offered the stupid explanation and looked at Sebastian briefly, but his eyes were far away and focused on his plate.

“Ouch, it looks painful.” She pitied me.

“It will heal,” I answered in a quiet voice.

“You should be more careful next time and avoid incidents like those,” Sebastian said coldly, then got up and left.

“What’s his problem?” Helen was surprised by her brother’s behavior.

Since I didn’t have a valid answer to her question, I chose not to reply. She understood and changed the topic.

“Should we go? We have a lot of stores to visit—or do you want to eat first?” She used the excited girly voice which got me in the mood for shopping as well.

“No, I’m not that hungry. We can eat something in the city.” I was eager to leave the mansion for a few hours.

“Great, let’s go then.” Helen left the room and I followed her to the car.

***

Once we got to the city we spent hours shopping. Helen made me change into the first outfit we bought. I didn’t protest because I knew I would stand out too much if I kept my old clothes on. As we continued our shopping spree, I started feeling uneasy about the prices, but Helen assured me that Sebastian wouldn’t notice that money was missing from his bank account even if we went shopping like that every day. 
Just how much money did he have if spending a fortune on a few clothing items was completely irrelevant to him?

When walking through yet another store where even the discount price tags alarmed me, Helen noticed a beautiful black dress displayed on a mannequin in the middle of the store.

“Oh my God, that one is perfect. Come quickly.” She hurried to see the dress and I joined her.

She rolled her eyes at me when she saw that I was looking at the price tag again. The shock must have been visible on my face because she shook her head and burst into laughter.

“Let’s find your size so you can try it on.” She encouraged me, but I didn’t like the idea.

“Helen, that dress costs $2700,” I whispered, putting the stress on the amount of money she wanted to spend so carelessly.

“So? I told you not to worry about it. It’s okay, just try it on.”

“I don’t think I should,” I replied humbly.

“Why?” She didn’t seem to understand.

There were several things that kept me from buying that dress. First, I was pretty sure that Sebastian wouldn’t have approved of it, because the dress cost a fortune. What’s more, I was convinced he wouldn’t want to spend that kind of money on me since he hated my guts. But the strongest reason for not buying the dress was that I knew he thought I was a shameless gold digger and I didn’t want him to have one more argument in his favor. Of course, I couldn’t be honest to Helen about my motives for declining the dress, so I just gaped at her, without saying a single word.

“You see, you can’t come up with anything. It will fit you perfectly. Besides, you need something to wear to the family dinner in two weeks,” she informed me casually.

“Family dinner?” I was surprised.

“My silly brother didn’t tell you, did he?” She smiled.

“No. I’m not even sure we are going,” I replied, confused.

“Of course you are; it is mom and dad’s thirtieth wedding anniversary. The whole family will be there. Sebastian probably forgot to tell you. He did warn me this morning to help you find something nice for that occasion and that dress is perfect. So please, try it on already,” she reassured me and insisted on the dress.

“Oh. Okay, I guess I’ll try it on.” I just wanted to get it over with.

Once in the fitting room, I had some trouble putting the dress on because I was so worried about ripping something. The moment I saw myself in the mirror, I couldn’t believe it was me. That dress was truly a magical piece of fabric, altering my look into one of a sophisticated high-class society woman. It was a knee-length, V-neck dress with lacy long sleeves that went just a bit past my elbows. Its slim silhouette complemented my figure and I liked the beaded lace on the bodice.

“Are you ready? I already found the matching shoes. I hope they fit.” I heard Helen’s impatient voice.

“Wow, Isabelle, you look stunning.” Helen looked at me in surprise when I left the fitting room.

“You don’t think it’s too...” I still wasn’t sure about the dress.

“Of course not, it’s just right. Sexy, yet demure.” She complimented my looks.

“Well, thank you.”

“Oh, right, the shoes. Try them on.” She handed me a pair of the most beautiful black stiletto shoes I’d ever seen. “And don’t look at the price,” she warned me with a wink.

When I put on the shoes, the transformation was complete and, for a moment, I felt like Cinderella. Helen continued praising the dream combination—as she had put it—and hurried to the till so that she could pay for everything before I got the chance to protest.

After the exhausting shopping experience, we decided to rest on a terrace of a small lunch bar because I was starving. As we sipped our drinks, waiting for our food to arrive, Helen couldn’t stop talking about how astonishing I looked in that dress. Although I insisted to know the price of the shoes, she wouldn’t reveal it to me. Helen was genuinely fun to be around. She was a kind and warm person who could bring sunshine to anybody’s gloomy day.

“You know, sometimes I think you seem to be the only one lacking the evil gene in the Everett family.” I couldn’t believe I had actually said that.

My cheek reddened and I bit my lip in frustration for blurting out something like that.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean... I shouldn’t have said it.” I couldn’t stop apologizing.

“It’s okay,” she spoke at last and then dropped a bombshell after a period of silence. “Funny you should say that though, because I was adopted.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was sure she was joking. I stared at her for a while before replying.

“You were adopted?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes, so you see I don’t have any Everett genes to begin with.” She joked about it, but I still felt uncomfortable.

“Do you know anything about your biological parents?” I probably shouldn’t have asked that, but the curiosity got the best of me.

“They were workers at The Goliath,” she started.

“The Goliath?” I had no idea what that was.

“It’s the company owned by the Everett’s,” she clarified. “Anyway, my parents died as a result of the poor safety awareness policy of the company. The public was furious so the Everett’s made a gesture by adopting me to get on the good side of the press again,” she said with a longing look on her face. “I was almost nine.” She sighed. “Old enough to remember—not that they ever made me forget. They gave me their name, money, status and education; but they never quite accepted me as one of their own.”

We were interrupted by the waiter who served us food, but I wanted to know more about the venomous family I now belonged to. There seemed to be so many secrets hidden in plain sight. When I reflected on what Helen had told me, it made perfect sense, because it was obvious she couldn’t have been related to those people.

“What about Catherine? I expected her to be more compassionate than the rest of them. I mean she must have gone through the same thing like me, coming from Rosemont, yet she seems so cold.” I raised the issue that was bothering me for a while.

“Catherine was chosen for Theodore a long time before they were supposed to get married. As a matter of fact, she was still a little girl. She came from a wealthy family herself and she was trained properly for the role of Theodore’s wife. That’s mostly the way the marriage of the Everett heirs is handled,” she explained as I listened carefully.

“How come Sebastian didn’t go through the same procedure?” I asked because something clearly didn’t add up.

Helen became quiet and it seemed she was calculating whether to share a certain piece of information with me or not.

“Helen?” I urged her to say something.

“Sebastian had gone through the same procedure with a girl named Cora. Her family lives in New York. Both of her parents descend from Rosemont and they are prominent members of New York upper-class society,” Helen said warily.