Wait for the Rain (9 page)

Skylar looked at KC. “How old exactly is Max?”

“He’ll be fifty-three in August,” KC said.

Skylar leaned back in her chair. “No wonder you’re not fazed by the idea of turning forty. You’re always going to feel young in Max’s circle. Maybe I should start dating older men too, then I won’t have to worry about my wrinkles when I smile.”

Daphne pictured the wrinkle cream in her bathroom.

“I’m thinking about trying Botox,” Skylar added. “It might be time.”

Daphne turned her head. “You are?” She’d never heard anyone outright mention Botox before, although she suspected a good chunk of the women in Columbus had done it. Daphne was one of the youngest mothers at Emma’s school, but many of the others appeared to defy their age in ways that seemed less than natural. Then again, she’d bought wrinkle cream, so who was she to judge? They were all fighting the same war, just with different weapons.

Skylar nodded. “I figure if it makes me feel better about my appearance, what’s the harm? When I feel good about my appearance, I feel good about myself.”

KC smiled at her. “I’ve always loved that about you. You do what makes
you
happy, period. Screw what anyone else thinks.”

Skylar tipped her head. “Why, thank you.”

“You have that quality too,” Daphne said to KC. “I’ve always admired that.”

“We
all
have it. That’s why we gravitate toward each other,” Skylar said. “The cream rises to the top for a reason.”

Daphne wished she were half as secure as her friends. For better or for worse, they knew who they were inside, and they were at peace with it. She struggled to stay focused on the conversation, trying to dissolve the images floating around in her head. Of her empty house in Ohio. Of the family photos now boxed up in the garage.
Stop it! You weren’t happy in that life! It’s time to move on!
This time she dug a fingernail into her palm to snap herself out of the trance. KC and Skylar had moved on to another topic of conversation.

“So how was your fortieth anyway?” Skylar crossed her knife and fork on her plate to indicate that she was done with her entrée.

“It was fun,” KC said. “Nothing crazy.”

“What did you do to celebrate?” Daphne asked, grateful that they hadn’t noticed her drifting of
f . . .
again. Or if they had, that they hadn’t pointed it out.

KC’s eyes got a little brighter. “
Well
, in the morning Max and I went for a long run on the beach.”

Skylar pretended to shoot herself in the head. “Of course you did. I’d rather wax my lady bits than go for a long run on any morning, much less my
birthday
. But go on.”

KC looked from Skylar to Daphne. “After our run Max showered and went to the office, and then a couple of my girlfriends took me to a yummy lunch at my favorite Mexican restaurant. Then that night Max put together a little dinner party at the house. Nothing crazy, just three couples, including us.”

“He cooked for you?” Daphne asked. Brian had never cooked for her. Actually, that wasn’t true. Before they were married, he’d made her a handful of candlelit dinners, but that stopped after Emma was born. So much had stopped after Emma was born, and then the miscarriages happened.
I was going to write for the
New York Times.

KC nodded. “Max loves to cook. I think that night he made shrimp scampi. That man has many talents, I tell you. Then after dinner we all walked downtown to play Bingo.”

Skylar coughed. “Please tell me I heard that wrong.”

KC grinned. “I can’t say that you did.”

Daphne cocked her head to one side. “You really played
Bingo
?”

“You bet we did,” KC said. “And we rocked it.”

Skylar groaned and set her drink on the table. “You realize that you turned
forty
, not
eighty
right? Good lord.”

“Trust me, it’s not as bad as it sounds,” KC said. “This time of year they have Bingo every Friday at this bar called Watermans, which is on the main drag off Hermosa Beach that runs right up to the shoreline. It’s all for charity, and it’s packed with people of all ages. Trust me, we weren’t the youngest people there, and we weren’t the oldest either; kind of a rowdy crowd, but all in good fun. It’s a blast, and they have some cool prizes too. Max won a pair of really nice snowboarding goggles.”

Daphne flinched at the word
snowboarding
, her mind suddenly yanked to Park City. Her imagination began to torment her again, pinching her insides with a vision of a smiling Emma, Brian, and Alyssa perched on top of a snowcapped mountain, posing for a new family photo.

Grieving for the future she thought would be hers, for the family unit she’d spent years trying to keep intact, Daphne took a sip of water and balled her free hand into a fist under the table.
Please stop torturing yourself. You don’t deserve this. Let it go.

“So what’s going on with your love life? Who’s your latest boyfriend?” KC was asking Skylar.

Skylar took a sip of sangria. “Currently it’s an Italian named Antonio, although his turn in the rotation is just about up.”

The comment jolted Daphne back into the present, and she looked at Skylar. “You’re still doing the rotation system?” she asked.

“I am. It’s not necessarily what I envisioned for myself at this age, but it works for me, and if I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that you have to go with what works for you.”

“Amen to that. How many are in the rotation right now?” KC asked.

Skylar closed her eyes and counted on her fingers. “These days it’s Antonio, Michael, and Trevor. Oh! And Kristoff. Yikes, almost forgot Kristoff. He’s new.”

KC laughed. “I’ve never been able to keep track of all your men. You’re amazing.”

“It really is impressive,” Daphne said. “When we were roommates, our answering machine was always on overdrive. Remember that time when you were dating two guys named Ben at the same time? I have no idea how you pulled that one off.”

Skylar shrugged. “I like men, what can I say? Plus, my system keeps life interesting.”

“So how does the rotation work exactly?” KC asked.

“There’s no formal structure to it. They just kind of come and go in waves, and some of them circle back around after a while. Some never cycle back in, however. It really depends on a lot of factors. Some move away or get married. Or it just fizzles. I hang out with each guy for a month or two, and then before we get a chance to start bickering or anything, I move on to the next one. I have enough drama to deal with at work; I don’t need it in my personal life too. With the rotation, I’m able to keep things light and playful, which is all I really want from a relationship. I have my sisters and girlfriends for the deeper stuff.”

“You don’t ever wish you could settle down with just one man?” Daphne asked. It was all
she’d
ever wanted.

Skylar frowned. “I don’t know. Maybe if I met one who made me want to, but that hasn’t happened yet. When I was younger, yes, I figured I’d get married someday down the road, but then I got so focused on my career and my priorities kind of changed. I’m not sure if that’s because I haven’t met the right person or because I’m just wired differently from other women. You know I have issues with commitment. I can’t even decide which city I want to live in. Okay, I’m officially rambling. Damn, this sangria is good.”

KC laughed and kissed her glass. “I’m kind of in love with it.”

“How do you meet most of the men you go out with?” Daphne asked Skylar.

“It depends. Some through work, others through friends. Once in a while I do the online thing. There’s no real formula,” she said.

“Seems like a lot of couples meet online these days,” KC said. “It’s amazing how much the world has changed. Remember the days when a guy would actually call you on the phone to ask you on a date?”

Skylar gestured for the waiter to bring another pitcher of sangria. “Trust me, that doesn’t happen anymore. It’s all done over e-mail and text now. And while online dating is an easy way to meet a lot of men, it’s not an easy way to meet the
right
men.”

“Why is that?” KC asked. “Can’t you just weed out the bad ones before ever meeting them? I would think that would make it a lot easier.”

Skylar held up a finger. “
Theoretically
, yes. But in my experience, what you see in the profile and what you get in real life are usually quite different, and not in a good way.” She looked at Daphne. “You know what I mean, right?”

Daphne bit her lip and shook her head. “I haven’t tried the online thing.”

Skylar looked surprised. “Really? Is it that easy to meet men in Columbus?”

Daphne didn’t know what to say, so she took a big sip of her sangria and didn’t say anything.

KC jumped in with another question for Skylar. “So how are the guys different from their profiles? You mean their photos are really old?”

Skylar nodded. “That happens sometimes, a lot, actually, especially with men in their forties. Another thing I’ve learned is that if a guy’s photos are all faraway, it’s probably because he doesn’t look good up close, and by that I mean he’s ugly. Same goes for if he’s wearing sunglasses. Sunglasses usually equals ugly.”

KC laughed. “You don’t mince words, do you?”

Skylar shrugged. “I’m just being honest.” Then she tapped her head. “I’ve also learned that if a guy is wearing a visor or a hat in his pictures, it’s because he doesn’t have much hair, if he has any at all. And most men claim they are at least an inch, if not
two
, taller than they really are, which for the life of me I don’t understand, just like the hair or sunglasses thing. Do they really think I’m not going to notice they’re short or balding or ugly the very moment we meet, like
immediately
?”

“Maybe they plan to be sitting down the whole date?” Daphne said with a hopeful look. “And wearing a hat and sunglasses?”

Skylar pointed at Daphne. “That happened to me once, not joking. The guy was sitting on the barstool when I arrived, and when he stood up like a half hour later, I thought he was still sitting down. That’s how short he was. Lesson learned. Now if they don’t list their height on their profile, I ask.”

KC tapped her own head. “I’m shrimpy, so I’ve never really cared about the height thing.”

Skylar gestured to herself. “Try being five nine. Trust me, you would care.”

KC frowned. “You’re right. Online dating sounds less awesome than I thought.”

Skylar shook her head. “It’s not
all
bad. I know a lot of people who have met some great people through it. You just have to know what to watch out for so you don’t waste your time. And it’s not just men who embellish their profiles. Women do too.”

“How so?” Daphne asked.

Skylar framed her face with her hands. “For example, my male friends tell me they won’t go out with a woman if her profile only includes photos that are up close.”

Daphne touched her own cheek. “Why not?”

“Because that usually means she’s overweight.”

“Oh.” Daphne sucked in her breath. “I never thought of that, but I guess it makes sense.”

KC made a sad face. “That sounds mean.”

Skylar shrugged. “It’s reality. And those are just the superficial things. I think the biggest problem with dating sites, at least at our age, is that they’re so female heavy that the most appealing men get bombarded with messages, and they just can’t keep up. I know some quality guys from work who have profiles up, and they’re so overwhelmed that they barely have enough time to weed through everything coming in, much less proactively search for women to contact.”

“Women are really that aggressive?” KC asked.

“Yep. Apparently some women offer sex for money too.”

“What?” Daphne’s jaw dropped open.

Skylar rubbed her fingertips together. “I went on a date with a guy who told me a woman once cut to the chase after a few messages. She made it pretty clear that if he was willing to pay, she was willing to give.”

Daphne’s mouth was still open. “Wow.”

“I don’t think I could contact a man on a dating site. I’d be too chicken,” KC said.

Daphne nodded. “So would I.”
I’m too chicken even to post a profile.

“It’s not really my style, but women today are assertive, so if I see a guy I want to meet, I’ll reach out,” Skylar said. “But I don’t expect to hear back because I’m not sure if they’ll ever even read the note. My friend Jay says he gets
hundreds
of messages a month, and he’s not even that attractive, although if you ever meet him, please keep that information to yourself. I’ve also learned that the men in their late thirties or forties are usually looking for younger women, so even if they
are
proactive in their searches, I don’t even show up in the results—unless I were to lie about my age, which apparently a lot of women do for that exact reason. So the men who contact me are usually way older or way younger. It’s rare that I hear from someone who is remotely attractive
and
relatively age appropriate.”

Daphne frowned and took another sip of sangria. “This conversation is getting depressing.”

“Totally,” KC said. “It’s depressing
me
, and I’m not even single.”

Skylar shrugged. “It is what it is. Another fundamental flaw in the system is that the profiles have to be written, and not everyone is a good writer.” She gestured to Daphne. “I know I don’t have Daphne’s gift for words, but at least I can put together a freaking sentence. If a guy doesn’t know the difference between
you’re
and
your
, it makes him look dumb, no matter how many advanced degrees he may have. Am I right?”

KC winced. “I have terrible grammar. You’d hate me online.”

Skylar winked at KC. “
You
, I could never hate. But that’s the problem with online dating. It forces you to notice things you wouldn’t if you met someone organically, but when all you have to go on is the profile, it’s tough. That virtual first impression sticks.”

KC frowned. “This is not what I thought online dating was like
at all
. They make it look so fun in the commercials.”