Waking Up in Charleston (3 page)

“Okay, then,” he said. “I’m going to see you and Danny again on Sunday and then afterward I’m going to ask your folks to join us. Let’s see where we stand and what we can do to make sure this baby has not just two parents who will love it, but a whole support system.”

“Really?” Mary Louise said, her eyes wide. “You’re going to marry us?”

“One step at a time,” Caleb warned. “Let’s get Danny and your folks on board first. You don’t want Danny to feel like he’s been backed into a corner, do you?”

“No, of course not. He wants this as much as I do. You’ll see,” she insisted.

Caleb had his doubts about that, but maybe there was a way to bring him around, especially if he could come up with some way to ensure Danny didn’t lose his career dream in the process.

Once Amanda had gotten over her case of the jitters, thanks to that untimely and provocative conversation with Maggie, she’d been able to focus on the young woman Caleb had brought over. She’d totally empathized with Mary Louise’s unshakable optimism in the face of an unexpected pregnancy that threatened to change her life forever. She’d done what she could to explain the harsh realities of marrying and having a family too young, but a part of her had been rooting for Mary Louise to stick to her guns and fight for what she wanted. It was that sort of spunk that would be needed if she and Danny were to have even half a chance of making it.

As soon as Mary Louise and Caleb had left, she’d
wilted as she considered the confrontation that awaited with her own squabbling children. With no siblings of her own, she was always taken aback by the battles among her three children. She’d always had this rosy picture of them loving one another through thick and thin. The reality was that there were plenty of times when they barely tolerated one another.

Before she gave them permission to leave their rooms, she fixed a quick dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, one of the few meals they all loved. Maybe that would facilitate peace.

When the food was on the table, she went to the boys’ room first. “Okay, you two, dinner’s ready, but I want you at the table only if you can promise me that there will be no fighting with your sister. You know how I hate it when you gang up on her.”

Larry and Jimmy regarded her with tear-reddened eyes.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” Jimmy said first.

“Me, too,” Larry added. “We really weren’t being mean. We were scared she’d fall out of the swing like she did yesterday.”

Amanda’s mouth gaped. “Susie fell out of the swing yesterday?”

Jimmy nodded. “Twice. She made us promise not to tell, ’cause she was afraid you wouldn’t let her get on the swing anymore.”

Amanda sighed. “Then you were trying to protect her?”

Both boys nodded solemnly.

“Then I’m the one who’s sorry,” she told them. “I should have given you a chance to explain.”

They wrapped their arms around her waist and leaned into her.

“It’s okay, Mom. You were kinda busy with Caleb and that lady,” Larry said.

She looked down into their upturned faces. “How about I make it up to you with ice cream after dinner?”

“We have ice cream?”

“No, but we’ll take a walk and get cones,” she said.

“Susie, too?” Larry asked indignantly.

“Something tells me she’s learned her lesson,” Amanda said. “She was sent to her room, too.”

Both boys seemed to consider that for a moment.

“Okay,” Larry said eventually. “But we get double dips and she only gets one, ’cause we’re bigger.”

Amanda laughed at the twisted logic that gave them a triumph over their little sister. “That sounds fair.”

Caleb returned to Amanda’s just in time to meet her and the kids on the sidewalk.

“We’re going for ice-cream cones, Mr. Caleb,” Susie announced, holding out her arms to be picked up. The red band holding her hair in a ponytail had slipped and curls were poking out in every direction. There was a streak of spaghetti sauce on her cheek and another on her purple T-shirt.

He scooped her up just as Larry tugged on his shirtsleeve.

“We get two scoops, but she only gets one,” he told Caleb.

“Because you’re older,” Caleb guessed.

“And because Mom’s ’pologizing to us,” Jimmy added.

Caleb glanced at Amanda. “Oh?”

“Long story,” she said. “What brings you back?”

“I was hoping we could talk some more about the Mary Louise and Danny situation.”

Amanda looked vaguely uneasy. “Sorry I wasn’t more help.”

“Actually you were a huge help.”

She seemed startled by that. “Really?”

“Seems I’m the one who came away from the talk with a whole new perspective,” he admitted. “Have you ever considered going back to school and getting a degree in psychology, so you could counsel young people?”

She stared at him as if he’d grown two heads. “Me? No way. I barely have my own life together. I certainly don’t want to tell anyone else what they ought to be doing.”

“That’s just it, you weren’t telling Mary Louise what to do at all. You were showing her what lies ahead and letting her draw her own conclusions.”

“She came to the wrong one, according to you,” Amanda reminded him.

“No, I suspect she came to the right one for her. Or, if she didn’t, at least she’s moving ahead with her eyes wide open. That’s the best we can hope for.” He met her gaze. “I’m serious, Amanda. I think you could do this. I could certainly use someone like you to work with the kids at church. Maybe you could do that on an informal basis.”

“How?”

“Just be one of the sponsors of the youth group, sort of a mentor. You wouldn’t need formal training for that.”
And, he thought, it would mean they’d be working together on a regular basis. He recognized that God would probably find some way to slap him silly for the ulterior motives behind his pitch.

“I don’t know,” she said doubtfully. “I really don’t have that much time.”

“You’ve been looking for a way to give back to the church for helping you get a house,” he said, forcing aside the instant twinge of guilt that assailed him for playing that particular card.

“I’ll think about it,” she promised.

“Seriously,” he pressed.

She regarded him with amusement. “Yes, Caleb, I promise I will think about it seriously. I will not crack up laughing at the mere idea of turning myself into anyone’s mentor.”

Before he could respond to that, Susie patted his cheek to get attention.

“Mr. Caleb, what kind of ice cream are you gonna have?”

“Strawberry fudge,” he said at once, knowing it was her favorite.

She grinned. “Me, too!”

He feigned shock. “Really?”

“I’m gonna have one scoop of chocolate and one of cherry vanilla,” Larry said enthusiastically.

“I want two scoops of chocolate,” Jimmy said.

Caleb turned to Amanda. “What about you? Is this a plain old vanilla night or are you going to live dangerously?”

He saw the precise instant when she rose to the dare in his voice. Her eyes began to shine with a rare sparkle.

“I am having,” she began, pausing for drama, “a banana split.” She looked each one of them in the eye, saving Caleb for last. “And I am not sharing.”

He laughed. “Not even one little bite?”

“Not even if you beg,” she declared.

Caught up in the moment, he locked his gaze with hers. “Bet I can make you change your mind.”

Bright patches of color rose in her cheeks, but she didn’t blink or look away. “Bet you can’t,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper.

Caleb once again admired her willingness not to turn away from something that so clearly scared her. He could have let the whole thing die right there, satisfied with the response he’d managed to stir in her, but he, too, was feeling just a little bit reckless and daring tonight.

With her steady gaze still even with his, he leaned slowly down and brushed a daring first kiss across her lips. When he pulled away, she looked shaken, but undaunted.

“You think that will change my mind?” she scoffed. “We’re talking a banana split here.”

He grinned. “
That
might not change your mind,” he agreed. “But how about if I tell you that if you
don’t
share, there’s a whole lot more where that kiss came from.”

She faltered for just a second, then chuckled. “You know, for a minister, you certainly know how to play dirty.”

“It would be wise, Amanda, if you’d remember that when it gets right down to it, I’m a minister, not a saint. Trust me, there’s a difference.”

“Yes, I’m beginning to get that.”

Oddly enough, it didn’t seem to scare her half as much as he’d expected it to.

And that gave him unexpected hope for the future.

M
ary Louise had worked a double shift at the Stop and Shop and her feet were killing her. She was determined, though, to show Danny that she was willing to make good on her word to earn all the money they would need to get by once they were married.

“Is Danny coming home again this weekend?” Willie Ron asked as she closed out for the evening and he prepared to take over.

Willie Ron Dupree was only twenty-six, but he had been working the graveyard shift for ten years to help support his disabled mother. He never talked about whatever hopes and dreams he’d had before his mother’s illness had made her unable to work. If he’d had to give up college or anything, Mary Louise had never heard him complain about it.

Willie Ron was one of the nicest guys she’d ever known, always willing to come in early if she needed to take off, always ready to listen when she had a problem. And he always asked about Danny. She wondered what he’d have to say if he knew about her pregnancy, if it would make him think less of her, or of Danny, for that matter.

“Hey,” Willie Ron said, concern in his voice. “You okay? I asked about Danny and for once you didn’t launch into a full-scale recitation of all the guy’s good points.”

Mary Louise shrugged. “Guess my mind wandered,” she said. “He should be here any minute. He was driving over from Clemson after his last class today. He promised he’d be here in time to pick me up after my shift.”

“Girl, you got that boy wrapped around your finger,” Willie Ron teased, his smile showing off a row of glistening white teeth. “No woman’s ever going to tie me up in knots like that.”

“Just wait till the right one comes along,” she goaded him. “You’ll treat her like a queen, the same way you do your mama.”

“My mama’s raised eight of us, and done a good job of it,” Willie Ron said, his expression turning serious. “She deserves being spoiled. Haven’t met anyone yet who’s her equal. Even when she was laid low by a bad heart, my mama kept her spirits up. She raised all of us to count our blessings and not be crying over things we can’t fix.”

“You’ll find someone just like her someday,” Mary Louise told him. “I know for a fact that Li’l Bit Gaines comes in here just to see you.”

If it was possible for a black man to blush, Willie Ron’s cheeks would have been flaming. “Li’l Bit just likes her nightly candy fix. She comes in here for a Snickers bar. Got nothin’ to do with me.”

“Yeah, right,” Mary Louise responded. “I know better. How many people rush out to indulge a chocolate craving after eleven o’clock at night?”

Willie Ron frowned. “Maybe instead of messin’ in my love life, you ought to be checking your lipstick before that boyfriend of yours gets here,” he said. “Though I don’t know why you’d bother since he’s likely to kiss it right off. I haven’t seen you two make it to the car yet before that man’s sneakin’ himself some sugar.”

Ignoring the taunt, Mary Louise hurried to the back of the convenience store to put on another coat of Sugarplum lip gloss. But even as she locked the door to the restroom she kept spotless, she wondered just how much kissing she and Danny were likely to do. He’d gone into a hands-off mode the minute he’d heard about the baby. Kinda like shutting the barn door after the horse has gone, in her opinion. Seemed like they ought to be taking advantage of this time, since any fooling around they did couldn’t lead to another pregnancy. They were already in as much trouble as it was possible to get.

When she emerged from the back, Danny was standing at the counter talking to Willie Ron. She took a moment to admire the way Danny looked in his carefully pressed chinos and dark green polo shirt. It was her favorite because it made his eyes look even greener than usual. He looked like the fancy college boy he was, and she was amazed that she’d been lucky enough to be the girl he’d fallen for.

“Hey, handsome,” she called out. “Did you come straight from the fraternity house?”

“You know I’m no frat boy,” he chided, then gave her an appreciative once-over. “But you could put most of those sorority girls to shame, Mary Louise.”

It was a sweet thing to say, especially since he knew
she sometimes felt inadequate because college had been beyond her family’s reach. Until she’d gotten pregnant, she’d been hoping to put enough money aside to take some classes here in town so Danny wouldn’t be ashamed of her lack of education.

“You two have big plans for tonight?” Willie Ron asked, regarding them like an indulgent big brother.

“Actually we have some talking to do,” Danny said, his gaze locked with Mary Louise’s. “I thought we could take a drive or something.”

Willie Ron didn’t look as if he believed for a second that they’d be driving around all evening, but he kept his comments to himself for once as he shooed them out the door. “I’ll see you on Monday, Mary Louise. You say a prayer for Mama in church on Sunday, you hear.”

“I always do,” she said, then grinned. “And I ask God to find you a girl worthy of you.”

“You go on now,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

Mary Louise turned to find Danny grinning at her. “You like embarrassing that man, don’t you?” he asked as she slipped her hand into his and headed for the car.

“Embarrassing him how?” she asked. “He needs a girlfriend and a life. All he does is work and look out for his mama.”

“I think he’s old enough to find his own woman.”

“But Willie Ron’s shy. He needs a nudge,” she protested as Danny held the car door for her the way he always did. His folks had taught him manners, that’s for sure. It was one of the first things she’d noticed about him.

“Don’t you think your time might be better spent figuring out what we’re going to do, instead of worrying
about Willie Ron?” Danny asked, a sudden edge to his voice.

Fortunately before she could respond, he closed the car door, then went around to get behind the wheel. It was just enough time for her quick flash of temper to cool. There was no point getting into some silly argument right off the bat when they had more important things to talk about.

“I have been thinking about our future,” she said calmly. “All week long, in fact. What about you?”

He sighed. “It was the only thing I could think about. Jeez, Mary Louise, this couldn’t have happened at a worse time.”

“Well, I’m sorry as hell about that, but it’s not like I planned it, Danny.” She scowled at him and noted the faint flicker of doubt in his eyes. “You don’t believe me, do you?” she demanded in a shocked tone. “You think I planned this.” Her temper shot right back into high gear. “Well, you can just think again, Danny Marshall. This messes up some things I’d been counting on, too.”

“Such as?”

“Taking college classes right here in Charleston. I never intended to just drift along working at the Stop and Shop for the rest of my life. I might not have had the grades to win a scholarship to Clemson, but I’m smart. I have dreams, too. You should know that. We talked about them enough.”

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I do know that,” he said eventually. “I’m sorry. It’s just that everything is such a mess. I flunked an important math test this week because I couldn’t concentrate. I can’t help thinking that’s what it’s going to be like from now on.”

“It’ll get better once we make some decisions,” she consoled him. “It’s the worry that’s distracting you.”

“And you think that’s going to stop just because we get married?” he scoffed. “That’ll just be the start.”

His words echoed the warning Amanda O’Leary had given her and that scared Mary Louise. Desperate to reassure him—and herself—she reached for his arm, then massaged the tight muscle until it began to relax. “I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she whispered. “I never wanted to ruin things for you.”

He faced her, his expression earnest. “Then let’s think about what Reverend Webb said. Let’s at least consider the possibility of having the baby adopted,” he pleaded. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. Let somebody who desperately wants a baby give ours a good home. We’re not ready to do that, Mary Louise. At least, I’m not.”

Tears welled up in Mary Louise’s eyes. A part of her wanted to go along with him, if only to make his life easier. Heck, it would make her life easier, too. She wasn’t holding out because of stubbornness, either, though she knew that’s what Danny thought. How could they give up their baby and ever have any chance at a future? Every baby that might come later would be a bittersweet reminder of the one they’d given up. Sooner or later that loss would eat away at them. The way she saw it, giving up this baby would be a sure way to end things between them forever.

“Do you love me, Danny?” she asked, her heart in her throat.

He took his eyes off the road and glanced at her. “You know I do,” he said with unmistakable sincerity.

“Then how can you not love our baby?”

He didn’t answer for the longest time, but when he did, he said, “Because it’s not real to me, I guess. And I’m scared, Mary Louise. Really scared.”

“Of the baby ruining your life?”

“There’s some of that,” he admitted. “And I know it’s selfish, but there’s more, too. I’m afraid it will come between us, that I’ll resent you, just the way Reverend Webb said, and even worse that I’ll resent the baby and won’t be able to love it the way a baby deserves to be loved.”

He gave her a sad smile. “I used to think about what it would be like when we finally had our first baby. I could imagine holding that little guy or girl in my arms, teaching it stuff, reading stories. Now all I can think about is how exhausting it would be to cope with middle-of-the-night feedings and all the crying and stuff when I’ve got exams coming up and studying to do.”

Maybe because Amanda had helped open her heart to it, Mary Louise heard the depth of his emotional struggle in his voice. In that instant she knew that she really did have to consider Danny’s point of view and not just her own blind optimism that everything would be fine.

“Will you take me home?” she said, her voice tight.

“Don’t be mad at me, Mary Louise,” he begged. “I’m just trying to be honest.”

“I know, and I’m not mad, really I’m not,” she said sadly. “That’s why I want to go home. I need to think about what you said before we meet with Reverend Webb again on Sunday.”

“Do you want to get together tomorrow and talk some more?” Danny asked.

She shook her head. “No, you’ve given me some more to think about and I need to wrestle with it on my own. I’ll call you if I change my mind. Otherwise I’ll see you when you pick me up for church on Sunday.” She lifted her gaze to his. “Have you talked to your folks at all?”

He shook his head. “Not yet. You?”

“No.”

“Do you think we should tell them before Sunday?” he asked. “If Reverend Webb wants to see them, too, we should probably give them time to absorb all this.”

“I want this to be
our
decision,” Mary Louise argued. “You know they’ll get all weird, and the next thing we know, they’ll be making all the decisions.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he admitted. “But it’s not really fair for them to be blindsided.”

“Maybe we can just meet with Reverend Webb and decide what we’re going to do, then go tell them together,” she suggested. “First yours, then mine.”

“Why mine first?” he asked.

“Because mine might kill us,” she said, only partially in jest. “Or you, anyway.”

Danny pulled the car to a stop in front of her house and cut the engine, then rested his head on the steering wheel. Mary Louise sat beside him, fighting tears. When Danny finally turned toward her, his eyes were damp, as well.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I wish I were as excited about this as you are.”

“I wish you were, too,” she said, reaching for him. “But we’re going to figure this out, Danny. I know we will. And when we do, it will be what’s best for all of us.”

Amanda was pretty sure a person could go straight to hell for having the kind of thoughts she was having on Saturday afternoon as she watched Caleb struggle to wrestle the armoire she’d bought at a flea market into her new bedroom. What kind of joke had God been playing when he’d created a minister with broad shoulders and rock-solid abs that belonged on the cover of a fitness magazine?

She’d noticed the man’s muscles far more than she should have during the months they’d worked side by side to build her new home. He had a very dangerous habit of stripping off his shirt when the sultry Charleston temperatures climbed. She wasn’t the only woman working on the house whose mouth had gaped at the vision of male perfection he’d presented. Add in Maggie’s taunting remarks just the other day, and Amanda’s imagination had traveled in a very steamy and unsuitable direction. Just last night she’d had a dream about him—about the two of them—that had left her lying awake, restless and hot.

Amanda figured it was ironic that she felt such stirrings of desire only when she was around the most inappropriate man in all of Charleston. Then, again, maybe this was God’s way of showing her she wasn’t dead, after all, without putting her heart at risk in the process. Being attracted to Caleb was safe, thanks to his profession. He certainly wouldn’t be trying to tempt her into some casual liaison, that was for sure, and a fling was all she could imagine for herself for the foreseeable future.

And when it came down to it, she was the last woman
on earth any minister would want. She didn’t really believe in God, at least not a benevolent one, mostly because of the way she’d been brought up. Her father’s bitterness over her mother’s death had instilled the impression that only an uncaring God could have allowed such a thing to happen. Even as she’d grown up and started thinking for herself, Amanda couldn’t disagree. As much as she’d loved her father, she’d missed having a mother. She’d felt cheated out of something important. With no one else she could think of to blame, she’d pointed her anger toward God and kept her distance.

Despite her apathy, Bobby had insisted they make at least perfunctory appearances at church for the sake of the children. She’d gone along with it, using the quiet time to reflect on things. The hymns had been lovely, a few of the prayers meaningful, but she’d made little attempt to absorb the messages in the sermons.