Waking Up in Charleston (4 page)

Ministers had come and gone, and she’d paid scant attention—until she’d had to make arrangements for Bobby’s funeral. That was when she’d seen the compassion in Caleb’s eyes and felt a much-needed steadiness in him that had gotten her through those first awful months when everything in her life had unraveled.

It had been his idea that the church come together to build this house for her. And, remarkably, as the weeks had passed and she’d seen her home taking shape, her life had come together, as well. She’d felt stronger, more capable of facing an uncertain future.

And when they’d handed her the keys on that last day, she’d looked around into the faces of her new
friends and felt whole again. Despite all the adversities she’d faced, her life truly was blessed. She’d looked across the room and met Caleb’s gaze and knew that he’d understood all along how desperately she needed what she’d found in this house and the building of it. She’d reclaimed her self-respect.

“Thank you,” she’d mouthed.

To her utter shock, he’d winked. That tiny, flirtatious wink had rattled her so badly she’d turned and fled. For months she had tucked Caleb into a nice, safe niche in her life. After the turmoil of living with Bobby and the chaos after his death, Caleb epitomized a quiet serenity she craved. That wink, however, had suggested there was another side to him, a human and very male side she wasn’t ready for.

But even though he continued to disconcert her, for some reason she hadn’t been able to insist he stay away. The stakes escalated more every time they saw each other. She knew it and she was pretty sure he did, too. That kiss the other night had been as innocent as a peck on the cheek between friends, but way too much passion had simmered just below the surface. The depth of it had shaken her. Yet when she’d needed help transporting the armoire today, Caleb was the first person she’d thought of. And he’d agreed readily in fact, with an eagerness that told her he’d missed her during the week as much as she’d missed him.

Amanda felt a tug on her sleeve and looked down into the too-serious face of her five-year-old daughter.

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” she asked Susie, relieved by the distraction.

Susie frowned. “I’m not a baby.”

Amanda scooped her up and tickled her. “You’re my baby. You always will be.”

“Even when I’m ten?” Susie asked in a dismayed voice.

“Even when you’re thirty,” Amanda replied.

“How old is thirty?”

“Almost as old as me,” Amanda said.

“But you’re not a baby,” Susie protested.

Amanda knew she was in one man’s eyes, or had been, anyway. Sometimes knowing she’d lost that relationship hurt more than she could bear. Knowing that her once-beloved father had willingly tossed it aside hurt even more.

“No, I suppose not,” she said, biting back a sigh. In fact, she was the only grown-up these children had. Sometimes the pressure of that was overwhelming. It would have meant the world to be able to lean on her father from time to time, to share the joy of her three kids with him. But there was no point in wishing for things that simply couldn’t be.

“So can he?” Susie asked, apparently completing an entire line of conversation Amanda had missed.

“Can who do what?”

“Can Mr. Caleb stay for dinner?” Susie asked impatiently. “We could have pizza, like last time.”

“You have to stop thinking that we’re going to have pizza every time Caleb comes over,” Amanda told her daughter.

“Why is that?” Caleb asked, coming back into the living room, wiping away his sweat with a towel, which only drew attention to those fabulous abs again. It was all Amanda could do not to sigh.

“I love pizza,” he declared. “And who wants to order a large pizza just for one person? You guys give me the perfect excuse.”

Susie’s eyes glowed with excitement. “See, Mommy. Mr. Caleb likes pizza as much as I do. So can he stay?”

Amanda gave Caleb a look of mock severity. “Did you put her up to this?”

He winked at Susie. “Absolutely not,” he swore solemnly. “I just figure that a man who’s risked his back to haul furniture for you ought to get something out of the deal.”

“And you want to be paid in pizza?” Amanda asked doubtfully.

“Actually, I’m buying the pizza. Your company is enough payment.”

Amanda regarded him warily. “You can’t keep doing this,” she said.

“Doing what?” he asked, his expression all innocence.

“Dreaming up excuses to feed us.” She set Susie down. “Go get your brothers and tell them to wash up for dinner.”

As soon as her daughter was gone, she faced Caleb, determined to set some long-needed parameters. “You’ve done enough, Caleb. I won’t let you go on treating us like your pet charity. My budget’s not that tight. I can afford to pay for pizza once in a while. And now that we have this brand-new kitchen, I can even cook a meal for all of us.”

“But why should you cook after working hard all day or pay for pizza when I can?” he asked reasonably.

“Because getting back on my feet means being on
equal footing with my friends. I need to do things for you once in a while. Otherwise, I’ll start feeling indebted to you. I don’t think that sort of thing is good for a friendship, do you?”

He nodded slowly at that. “Point taken. You can buy the pizza tonight.”

“And next time,” she said firmly, knowing there would be a next time, no matter what excuse he—or she—had to dream up to make it happen.

“We’ll table that discussion till the next time,” he said just as firmly. “We men have our pride, too, you know.”

Amanda had lived with two males who’d had it in spades. She gave Caleb a wry look. “Believe me, I know. It’s not something I’d brag about, if I were you.”

He regarded her with understanding. “Lumping me in with Bobby or your father, Amanda? Do you really think there’s any comparison?”

“Not yet,” she replied. “But you could be standing on the edge of a slippery slope. Now seems like the time to drag you back.”

He laughed at that. “You go set the table. I’ll call for the pizza,” he said, then added, “Paper plates will do.”

“Not in my house,” she called back. “Not for guests.”

She was in the kitchen distributing plates and silverware when Caleb joined her, his expression oddly troubled.

“Don’t tell me the pizza place is closed,” she joked lightly.

“No, the pizza’s on the way. I got a salad, too.”

“Then what’s with the somber look? Bad news?”

“No, it was something you said.”

She tried to recall what might have put that look
on his face. She couldn’t come up with anything. “What?”

“You still think of me as a guest,” he said.

Amanda didn’t see the problem. “Isn’t that what you are?”

He shrugged. “I guess I was sort of hoping by now you’d start thinking of me as part of the family, or at least as the kind of friend who doesn’t require going to any trouble.”

There was no mistaking the genuine dismay in his voice, so she guided him toward a chair. “Sit.”

A grin tugged at his lips. “Bossy, aren’t you?”

“You have no idea,” she said dryly. She might be out of practice, but she’d once excelled at getting things done to her satisfaction. It was a trait she’d learned at her daddy’s knee.

“Now, you listen to me, Caleb Webb,” she lectured sternly. “You’ve been the best friend this family has ever had, which is exactly why I want to show you some respect when you come here. Maybe in your world that means eating off paper plates and not going to any trouble, but in mine it means observing some of the niceties.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, his eyes twinkling despite the meek tone.

She frowned at the interruption. “I might not be able to pour fine wine into crystal goblets in my house,” she continued. “I can’t serve you on bone china that came over from England a couple of centuries ago for my great-great-grandmother’s wedding, but I can at least treat mealtime as an occasion.”

His grin spread as she spoke. “Okay, then. Guess that means I ought to at least put my shirt back on.”

“You should,” she said, though not without regret. “And wash your hands.”

He snapped a salute and started toward the bathroom, then came back and dropped another one of those sneaky, sizzling little kisses on her mouth.

“Have I mentioned how adorable you are when you get up on your high horse?” he asked.

Her gaze narrowed. “That sounds suspiciously close to telling me I’m cute when I’m angry.”

He held up his hands. “Not a chance, darlin’. I know better than that. The last thing I want to do is set off World War III around here right before dinner. It’s bad for the digestion.”

She gave him a wry look. “I think the pizza will take care of that, especially if you ordered pepperoni, jalapeños and onions again.”

“Only on my half,” he reassured her.

Amanda shuddered. “Who would have thought a preacher would have a cast-iron stomach?”

He gave her an amused look. “Did you think we lived on oatmeal or something?”

“I think I always imagined you lived on Sunday dinners of fried chicken, peas, mashed potatoes and apple pie at some parishioner’s home. Beyond that, I guess I never gave it much thought. The burgers we consumed while we were building the house should have been a clue. You put jalapeños on those, too, didn’t you?”

“Every chance I got,” he told her. His gaze met hers, then held it. “What can I say? I like a little spice in my life.”

He’s talking about food, Amanda reminded herself sternly when he walked away, his lips twitching. He had to be. Preachers surely didn’t flirt so outrageously.

Or did they? How on earth was she supposed to know what preachers did? Caleb was the only one she’d ever known beyond the most casual greeting at some function or another. Amazingly, he suddenly struck her as someone who was all too eager to break a few rules, or at least to bend them.

Was she ready to do the same? She tried to imagine opening up her heart again and she couldn’t. Not even to a man as rock-solid and dependable as Caleb.

For one thing, it was becoming clear that under that steady, staid exterior beat the heart of a man capable of a few surprises, and Amanda had had all the surprises in life she could handle. She’d vowed on the day they’d put Bobby in his grave that she’d never risk another one, not for herself, not for her children.

For another, there was the whole independence thing. She still needed to prove to herself that she had what it took to make a success of her life, to give her children what they needed to become good people. Her father had been so sure she couldn’t do that, not with Bobby by her side and certainly not on her own.

She sighed at the thought. And wasn’t it ironic that even after all this time and all her disclaimers to the contrary, her father’s opinion still drove some of her decisions? Obviously she still had some work to do to claim that independence she prized so much.

A
s he dutifully washed his hands as ordered, Caleb thought about the twists and turns his life had taken. He wasn’t entirely sure when he’d fallen for Amanda with her chin-up pride and stubbornness and her sad, vulnerable eyes, but the knowledge of the attraction had been eating at him for a long time now. There were so many things wrong with it, he couldn’t begin to count them all.

She was a member of his church for one thing. For another, after her husband’s death, she’d needed his counseling and his comfort. He couldn’t do that objectively if his own emotions kept getting in the way.

And then there was Max. There were times when Caleb thought he’d made a deal with the devil when he’d agreed to Max’s scheme to help his daughter get out from under the mountain of debt she’d been left in after Bobby’s death. He’d known buying the land for her house anonymously was the only way Max could make himself reach out, but Caleb had done everything he knew how to do to convince the stubborn old coot to go about helping in a more straightforward way.

His entreaties had fallen on deaf ears, and now Caleb
was burdened with this secret that stood squarely between him and Amanda. If she ever discovered what he’d been keeping from her, he doubted she’d forgive him. The animosity between her and Max ran too deep. She wouldn’t take kindly to the fact that Caleb had been in cahoots with him behind her back, even with the best intentions.

But despite the potential for heartache, Caleb couldn’t seem to stay away from this woman whose strength he’d come to admire. Nor could he seem to keep himself from stealing an occasional kiss, just as he had earlier. He knew it disconcerted Amanda. Heck, it disconcerted him. He wasn’t in the habit of tossing out innuendoes and hoping for a quick rise of color in a woman’s cheeks. In his own way, he was every bit as skittish about love and commitment as Amanda. He believed in it in the abstract. He preached about its importance in church and counseled couples on ways to make the love stronger in their marriages. But he doubted he’d ever take another chance on it himself.

All that sage advice and supposed wisdom hadn’t done a thing to keep his
own
marriage from crumbling. Feeling like a fraud after the divorce, he’d kept to himself, deftly avoiding all the attempts by friends and parishioners to do any matchmaking on his behalf. He’d cut back on premarital counseling, then seven years ago he’d changed churches to get away from all the reminders of his failed marriage and especially anything that reminded him of why it had fallen apart. He wasn’t sure he would ever come to terms with that.

Nor would he ever do anything that might lead to another devastating rejection. Watching his wife walk out
on him over something that was beyond his control, losing her and, maybe worst of all, not really blaming her for her choice had nearly destroyed him. He’d been devastated, but so had his wife. He couldn’t bear hurting Amanda in the same way.

For a time he’d lived by one principle, guiding his congregation, offering solace when needed, but pretty much keeping everyone at arm’s length. When he’d gotten to know Amanda after Bobby’s death, he’d recognized a kindred spirit, a lost and wounded soul. And somehow his own resolve to remain uninvolved had melted. During the building of her house, he’d forged real friendships, just as she had.

Maybe it was because of Amanda herself or maybe it was because she had the family he’d always wanted for himself, but he’d gravitated to all of them and now couldn’t seem to make himself pull back. They represented his dream, the one he’d thought gone forever. In them he saw that hope for a warm and loving family in all its tempting glory. In many ways, though, it was still oh-so-sadly out of reach.

Aside from his own fears and reservations, the biggest obstacle to making this family a real part of his life was the way Amanda danced so skittishly away from him. As she had yet again tonight, she repeatedly told him what a wonderful
friend
he was, how lucky she was to have such a good
friend
come into her life when she needed one so desperately. He was growing weary of the word.

One of these days, she was going to start to utter it and he was going to cover her mouth with his just to silence her. This time it wouldn’t be one of these quick
little pecks he was stealing, but a full-fledged, no-holds-barred kiss that he figured would pretty much destroy the whole friendship masquerade she was so determined to cling to. It would also end the illusion that he had tight control of his own emotions.

Of course, she might very well kick him to the curb in the process. That was the one thing that had made him keep his distance.

For now. And, if wisdom overcame need, forever.

Caleb walked back into the living room just as the pizza arrived. He had his wallet halfway out of his pocket when Amanda shot a warning look in his direction and grabbed her purse.

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I lost my head there for a minute.”

“Don’t let it happen again,” she said, handing him the boxes of pizza, then turning to pay the delivery boy.

“Are the kids at the table?” he asked. “Or do I need to chase them down?”

“They have sensors when it comes to pizza delivery,” she assured him. “I’m sure they’re already on their way.”

Sure enough, all three of the children were seated at the kitchen table when Caleb arrived with the two pizza boxes. He’d wound up ordering two mediums, rather than a large, so there would be leftovers for the kids and Amanda tomorrow.

“I want pepperoni, jalapeños and onions, like Mr. Caleb,” Jimmy announced.

Amanda frowned at her towheaded son. “I don’t think so.”

“How come?”

“Remember last time?” she asked.

Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Oh, yeah. I hurled.”

“Exactly,” Amanda said. “You stick with the plain pizza. One slice.”

“But I can eat at least two,” Jimmy argued. “Maybe even three.”

Amanda shook her head at the boast. “We’ll see.”

“What about me?” Larry asked. “I didn’t get sick.”

“Then you may have one piece of Caleb’s pizza,” Amanda conceded. “If he says it’s okay.”

Caleb grinned. “Hey, I’m all about sharing.” He handed a piece to Larry, then looked at Susie. “You having plain, young lady?”

She nodded. “That other stuff’s yucky. Only boys would eat that.”

“You’re just a baby,” Jimmy taunted.

Amanda scowled at him.

“Sorry, Susie,” Jimmy said meekly.

Caleb bit back a grin. Despite all they’d gone through, all the things they’d lost and continued to be deprived of, these three kids were as normal as any he’d ever met. They squabbled among themselves, but if any outsider threatened any one of them, they united. Amanda had done a fantastic job with them. Caleb admired the strength it must have required for her to do that, especially on days when a lesser woman would have caved in under all the pressure.

“Hey, Mom,” Larry said. “Me and Jimmy have this really cool idea.”

“Jimmy and I,” Amanda corrected.

Larry stared at her blankly.

She sighed. “Never mind.”

“Anyway, that tree out back is really, really big, so we were thinking it would be just right for a tree house,” he said enthusiastically, his pizza momentarily forgotten. “So, can we build one?”

“I don’t know,” Amanda began, casting a worried look in Caleb’s direction.

“Maybe we could take a look after dinner,” he said, treading cautiously. He knew the kids turned to him when they sensed their mother’s disapproval. They hoped that as a guy he’d be an ally. His gaze on Amanda, he said, “There might be some sturdy branches not too high off the ground that would hold one. I think that would put your mom’s anxiety to rest.”

Larry regarded him gratefully. “Then would you help us build it? Not just some platform, but a real house with walls and everything,” he said excitedly. “Maybe Mr. Josh would help, too. He did a great job on our house. And I’ll bet he has some extra wood and stuff he could give us.”

Caleb caught Amanda’s frown, so he took a step back. “Let’s see what the tree looks like before we get too carried away. Remember, when it comes down to it, it’s your mom’s call.”

“She’ll say yes,” Larry said confidently, giving her a huge smile. “I know she will.” He put down his barely touched slice of pizza. “I’m done. Can we go look now?”

“Other people haven’t finished eating,” Amanda said at once. “And neither have you from the looks of that pizza slice.”

“I’ve finished mine,” Jimmy said loyally, stuffing the last bite in his mouth.

“I’m not finished, but I’m all filled up,” Susie added, clearly determined not to be left behind.

Amanda sighed. “Then you three can go outside. Caleb and I will be out later,” she told them. “And do not, under any circumstances, climb that tree. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jimmy said dutifully. Larry reluctantly echoed the promise.

As soon as they’d raced outside with a slam of the screen door, Amanda turned to Caleb. “What are the odds we’ll find them up in the tree?”

He grinned. “If I know those two, it depends on how long it takes us to get out there. Maybe we ought to go now. We can warm up the pizza later.”

She looked relieved. “Do you mind?”

“Not if it’s in the interest of preventing broken bones,” he said.

Sure enough, they found Jimmy and Larry at the foot of the tree studying it in a way that suggested they were plotting which way would give them the best access to the lower branches. At their first glimpse of Amanda and Caleb, they stepped back guiltily.

“What do you think, Mr. Caleb? Can we build one?” Larry asked.

Caleb glanced at Amanda, then turned his attention to the old pin oak. There were some branches that appeared solid enough to hold a tree house big enough to accommodate these two without putting them at too much risk.

“It could be done,” he said carefully, his gaze on Amanda. “What do you think? A tree house would be pretty cool. I had one when I was their age. There was
nothing better than going up there to read a book or hang out with my friends. I thought I could see the whole world from up there.”

Amanda winced, probably at the reminder of the tree house’s height off the ground.

“It wasn’t
that
high,” he told her. “I had a vivid imagination.” He grinned. “And I never fell out.”

“Never?” she asked.

“Not even once. Not even a scratch on me from climbing up there.”

“And you’d help them build it?” she said.

He knew what lay at the heart of her concern—not just the prospect of the little daredevils tumbling out of the tree, but helping themselves to dangerous tools in their eagerness to get the tree house constructed. “Absolutely,” he assured her. “They’d never touch a tool without me around, right, boys?”

Both of them nodded solemnly.

“And you wouldn’t go up in it without an adult around?” she asked.

They looked a little more hesitant over that one, but Caleb gave them a surreptitious nod.

“Sure, Mom,” Jimmy said.

Amanda clearly caught the lack of enthusiasm for that particular rule. “That one’s a deal breaker,” she said adamantly.

“Okay, okay,” Larry grumbled. “We’d never go up there without a grown-up around, right, Jimmy?”

“Right,” he said.

Susie had listened intently to the whole exchange. “What about me?” she asked. “I wanna go up, too.”

“No girls,” Jimmy said fiercely. “It’s only for boys.”

“That’s not fair,” Susie protested, near tears.

Amanda picked her up. “Trust me on this one, you don’t want to go up there, anyway. Trees are all full of bugs and stuff.”

Susie didn’t look convinced. “I’m not scared of bugs.”

“Snakes can climb up there, too,” Jimmy exaggerated. “And big ole birds can swoop in and carry little kids away.”

Susie’s eyes widened. “You’re not that much bigger than me. How come they won’t get you?”

“’Cause we’re tough,” Larry said.

“And we’re boys,” Jimmy added. “They only come after girls.”

Caleb listened to the exchange with amusement, then waited to see what Susie’s response would be.

She hugged Amanda a little tighter, then announced imperiously, “I don’t want to be in your ole tree house. Mr. Caleb and me are gonna build a playhouse down here and I’m gonna have tea parties and cookies and you can’t come in, so there.” She gazed into Caleb’s eyes. “Is that okay?”

“Absolutely, short stuff. It’ll be the best playhouse in all of Charleston,” he promised.

“And only me and you and Mommy can come inside,” she added emphatically.

“Seems fair to me,” Caleb said.

“Okay, now that we’ve agreed to all these building plans, I think it’s time for you guys to take your baths and get to bed. Scoot,” Amanda said, setting Susie back on her feet.

All three kids headed for the house, but Susie ran
back and held her arms out to Caleb. When he’d picked her up, she kissed him. “I love you, Mr. Caleb,” she said.

“Love you, too, little one.”

He put her down reluctantly and watched her run off.

“I’m sorry you’ve gotten dragged into yet another housing project for this family,” Amanda told him. “You don’t have to do it, if you don’t have time.”

“Nothing would give me greater pleasure,” he assured her. “I like your kids.” He hesitated, then added, “I can think of someone else who might want to help.”

She studied him with a narrowed gaze. “Oh?”

“Why don’t you give your father a call? I’ll bet he’d enjoy giving the boys a hand.”

“Are you crazy?” she retorted bluntly. “Why on earth would I call my father under any condition? And what makes you think he’d even take the call, much less come over here?”

“A lot of time has passed, Amanda.”

“Not since the last time I reached out to him. He all but laughed in my face when I tried to turn to him for help after Bobby died. I swallowed my pride then, Caleb. I won’t do it again.” She studied him with undisguised dismay. “Why would you even suggest such a thing?”

He regarded her somberly. “Because I know a day will come when it’s too late and you’ll regret it with all your heart that you didn’t try harder.”