Wanderlust (40 page)

Charlotte was still not making life easy for them, but after a year and a half, they no longer really cared. They were beginning to accept their limitations as a fact of life, and Audrey was too busy with her photography to worry about it much anyway. Charlie encouraged her constantly, and she even had a show in a gallery, of some wonderful black and white shots she had taken over the years, some abstracts, some portraits, even her photograph of Madame Sun Yat-sen, and a number of marvelous shots of Molly.

Charlie was terribly proud of her, and their work seemed to combine very nicely. In fact, Charlotte was furious when he insisted that the only photographer he would work with now was Audrey. And there was nothing they could do to stop him. His contract was specific about his having the right to choose his own photographer, and the choice was obvious now.

Still hanging on to her, eh, Charles? Charlotte sounded bitter when they spoke at the office one day. He had come in to see her father and she had cornered him.

Rather like the way you're hanging on to me, you might say. There was fury in his eyes now whenever he saw her. He was far more resentful than Audrey over the fact that Charlotte wouldn't agree to divorce him. Audrey was relatively content as things were, but Charlie was anxious to have a baby, and he refused to even consider it until he could marry Audrey. Aren't you ready to be sensible about this yet, Charlotte? It was an argument they had had repeatedly, and he just couldn't understand why she was hanging on. It made no sense at all to him, and he always tormented himself trying to figure out what was behind it. No one's explanations or guesses ever satisfied him and only this woman had the answer.

I'll never agree to a divorce, Charles. She eyed him coolly and crossed the room to the door. You're wasting your time with her.

You're the one who's wasting time. He stood up as though he would go to her and shake some sense into her, but she only shrugged and shut the door smartly behind her.

It infuriated him each time he thought about it, and even more so when Audrey's sister Annabelle wrote to her that she was getting married.

She got married in Reno over Easter, and the man she had married was a professional gambler. A bridge player, as she put it, more genteelly. But he sounded like a worthless sort to Charles and it annoyed him to think that she was free to marry anyone she chose, and he and Audrey were stymied by Charlotte.

Annabelle and her new husband came to London that summer, and Charles was shocked when he met her. He couldn't have imagined a woman more different than Audrey. She had grown even more spoiled in the time Audrey had been gone. And she seemed to whine constantly wearing shockingly expensive gowns and large jewels, most of which Charles suspected were fake, although he didn't want to say so to Audrey. Audrey seemed uncomfortable enough with her, and he saw her staring at her more than once, as though trying to figure out who she was. They seemed more like strangers than sisters. And it was a relief when she left again, although she managed to plant a few pointed barbs in Audrey's flesh before she did. She asked if she was planning to live with Charles forever, or was it just a passing fancy.

He's waiting for his divorce to come through. Audrey's eyes were calm, but they showed the pain she felt at the way her sister had said it.

Haven't you heard that before? She lazily blew smoke rings and looked at Audrey as though she were a common whore, and Annabelle a great lady.

In this case, it's true.

Well, don't sit around for too long, sweetheart. You're not getting any younger. Audrey looked at her with tired eyes. She was sad to see what Annabelle had become. There was something cheap about her now, as though she had hung out with the wrong people for too long, and it was obvious that she drank too much. She was always giddy, and she laughed too loud, when she wasn't complaining.

It was a relief when she left, although Charlie knew Audrey was depressed at first. It wasn't that she missed her, it was that she regretted what she had become.

She's like someone I never knew ' a complete stranger ' . She looked at Charlie with sorrow in her eyes. I brought her up, and look at her. She looked like a cheap tart, and they both knew it, and the funny thing was that she had implied Audrey was a whore because she was living with Charlie. I don't suppose that marriage will last. They had both thought he was awful. Audrey hadn't even introduced them to Vi and James. She would have been ashamed to. I don't even feel as though I have ties to San Francisco anymore. But Charlie wasn't sure he minded that, and Audrey knew it. Nevertheless, it made her sick to think of them living in their grandfather's house. That man with his fat, smelly cigars, and his ugly diamond pinky ring. Her grandfather would have had apoplexy if he had seen him. And the very thought made her laugh, and brought tears to her eyes as she laughed harder and harder, thinking of what her grandfather would have said. Just thinking about it cheered her.

She had also thought of him when Franklin Roosevelt defeated Alfred Landon and was inaugurated again. It warmed her heart to think of the arguments they had had. Politics had been the greatest love they shared. And now she enjoyed discussing the same things with Charlie. They discussed it at length when Japan attacked China that summer, this time taking over most of the country in battles that stretched to year end and took thousands of civilian lives. Peking and Tientsin fell into Japanese hands, and two hundred thousand civilians were killed when they took Nanking. Audrey was instantly reminded of the days she and Charlie had spent there so peacefully. It was heartbreaking to think of all of that destroyed now. The Communists and Nationalists joined forces to fight the Japanese and she was suddenly relieved again to have taken Mai Li home with her. Supposedly Harbin was in no greater turmoil than it had been before, but the rest of the country was being devastated by the Japanese, and she couldn't imagine that life would have been easy for Molly. She hoped that Shin Yu and the others were all right, and wondered if the nuns would have taken them back to France, but somehow she doubted it. They were a staunch crew and would probably have stayed on, as they had before.

Also that summer, in July 1937, the Germans opened a camp called Buchenwald, a work camp of sorts for prisoners and undesirables. At the same time, Jews were eliminated from trade and industry. They were now forbidden to go into parks, to attend public events, places of entertainment like theaters or museums or libraries. All public institutions were forbidden them then, even health resorts. And from July sixteenth on, all Jews had to wear yellow stars sewn onto their clothes so they could be identified on sight. It made them both think of Ushi and Karl again, and Audrey always wondered how she was, if she was even a little bit content in her convent. The death of Karl had brought Audrey and Charlie closer together at the time, and meant something special to them. They would never hear the word Jew in quite the same way again. They would always think of Karl, and each new edict they heard about in Germany seemed directed at his memory, and indirectly at them. It was hard to believe that he had been dead for two years now. Time had moved too fast, and the world was in the throes of difficult times that only seemed to get worse, and no one knew what it meant anymore. In December, the Italians and the Germans withdrew from the League of Nations, which seemed ominous as well.

And Audrey and Charlie were even more shocked, when in March of 1938, Hitler took over Austria, claiming that the Germans living there wanted annexation. It suddenly brought Ushi to mind again, and Audrey worried about what would happen to the nuns in her convent. She couldn't help but think of the nuns that had been killed in Harbin, and she already knew that the Germans were ruthless. It seemed as though everything was in turmoil these days, and the only stability they felt sure of was with each other.

It was amazing to realize that by the end of that year, they had been living together for three years. Vi and James gave them a dinner party to celebrate their anniversary unofficially, and afterward they all danced the samba and the conga, and listened to Benny Goodman's records. And when they went home that night, at four in the morning, Audrey said there was absolutely nothing more she wanted. She was thirty-one years old and she had never been more in love with Charlie.

The only thing missing was a child of their own, but that remained an impossibility, thanks to Charlotte, and they lavished all their love on little Molly.

But it was the following year that frightened everyone. After the Munich Accord, everyone had told themselves that nothing could go wrong and everyone in Europe pretended not to be worried. Suddenly, all of those who could were buying untold luxuries and fancy cars, giving gala balls and wearing incomparable jewels and furs, as though nothing would go wrong now, and as though their forced gaiety would ensure it. But the fears were still there, buried but alive, and the ugliness seemed to keep happening, like a monster no one could stop. And indeed they couldn't. Hitler continued to march forth with a vengeance. And the Spanish Civil War ended as well, with untold loss of life. There were over a million dead in Spain, crippling the country almost beyond repair. And if one listened, one could hear the drums of war warming up in the background.

Germany occupied Bohemia and Moravia, and signed a mutual nonaggression pact with Russia, which made Germany and Russia a doubly frightening force. And on September first, Hitler's forces attacked Poland, leaving the world stunned and breathless.

Two days later, on September third, Britain declared war on Germany, and Churchill became first lord of the Admiralty. It was to him that everyone would turn as the battles raged. And they were already off to a grim beginning. Within two weeks, German U-boats had sunk the Athenia and the Courageous. And Audrey and Charles sat stunned in their kitchen as they heard the news. It was like watching a world gone mad around them. And Charlie was wondering if Audrey should go home. Europe no longer seemed like such a safe place to be. And most Americans were scurrying home as quickly as they could get there. The American Ambassador was attempting to book passage for everyone, and Charlie asked her if she wanted to join them.

She smiled at him and poured him another cup of tea before she answered and then she looked up at him with the quiet strength he had seen in her eyes before. I am home, Charlie.

I'm serious. I can send you back if you'd like. Molly and you. They're booking passage for all the Americans now, and this might be a good time to go. God knows what will happen next with that madman on the loose. He was, of course, referring to Hitler.

I'm staying here. With you. She said it very quietly and he reached out and took her hand. They had loved each other for six years now ' it had been almost exactly six years before that they had been crossing Asia by train. And they had come a long, long way side by side. She didn't even care anymore if he married her, or if they had their own children. She was content with Molly and the man she loved. They were accepted by everyone in London society, and known by everyone as Mrs. Driscoll and Mr. Parker-Scott. There was no pretense that they were anything other than they were, but it seemed to be good enough for everyone, and she wasn't going to leave him now, not after six years, or because of a war. And if London went down in flames at Hitler's hand, then she'd stand beside Charles to the bitter end, and she told him so now in an impassioned speech that took him by surprise as he watched her. There was a depth and fire to the woman that he sometimes forgot, barred as it was by her quiet, competent exterior.

I suppose that takes care of that, doesn't it? But he was pleased that she wanted to stay with him, even though he'd already put his name on a list of volunteers, as had James. James wanted to be a pilot desperately, although Charles was far more interested in Intelligence and had told them so at the Home Office. He had the perfect cover as a journalist, and they told him they would be in touch. He suspected they were investigating him thoroughly and he would hear from them eventually, which he did. On the day Warsaw fell. It was a tragedy that touched them all, and spirits all over Europe were darkened.

Two days later Poland was divided up between Russia and Germany, like a carcass torn limb from limb by two wolves, and Audrey felt ill every time she heard snatches of news on the radio and terrible tales about the valiant people who had died in the ghetto. She talked to Charles about it endlessly, and he was relieved that he had heard from the Home Office at last. At least he could do something now, or so he thought. They had promised to be in touch with him shortly. And before they were, the British sent 158,000 men into France to defend their allies. Charlie was longing to be one of them. But it was another two months before Charlie had heard from the Home Office at last and had been appointed an Official War Correspondent and was free to enter any of the military theaters, waiting for assignment.

But he was desperately jealous of James, already assigned to the RAF, and Violet had volunteered as a lorry driver for the Red Cross. She seemed to be enjoying it, and whenever Audrey saw her, she seemed terribly busy and preoccupied. She wasn't the old Lady Vi anymore, going shopping with friends, playing with the children, and serving high tea in her library. Audrey was lonely for her at times. But she kept busy with her photography. There seemed to be a lot more to do now, and Charlie was anxious to be off. But it was the following July before he got a call from the Home Office. Denmark and Norway had fallen three months before, the Lowlands the month after, Belgium as well. And Paris had fallen only two weeks before they called Charlie from the Home Office.

Until that time, he had been covering war news from London with occasional forays into the Lowlands and Belgium, and even Paris, all before they fell. But they had all been short trips, and he had been anxious to do something more exciting. He had complained to Audrey about it more than once, and she told him to be patient. He was writing for important newspapers around the world, feeding them the information that the British wished to share. He had met Churchill more than once, and was in awe of the man's great mind, and Audrey assured Charles that he was doing a splendid job where he was, but she knew that he wouldn't be satisfied to sit there forever, particularly not with James in the RAF.