Wanderlust (51 page)

Has Daddy gotten hurt again? She turned worried eyes up to Audrey's face. But Audrey shook her head with a reassuring smile.

No, sweetheart, he's fine. I just feel like I need to be there with him, so he doesn't get too lonely. It was something about her, and she wasn't proud of it. But it was part of her and it was real ' the same genes that had led her father to the ends of the earth, and perhaps one day Edward would have the same thing and wonder where it came from. But I want to be here, too. Sometimes it's hard to know what is the right thing to do.

Molly nodded. That made sense to her. She was nine years old, and although she hated seeing her mother go, she understood what she was saying to her. And Alexandra and James's Mommy was away too, although not as far. But they had each other, and Grampa, as they called him now. Will you write to me? She turned her big eyes to her, and Audrey felt a catch at her heart. She felt even worse the next day when baby Edward started walking. It was almost impossible to tear herself away and she could feel herself floundering as she sat quietly in front of the fire with Lord Hawthorne late that night, drinking a glass of port. She was going to miss everyone and everything if she left. But this way, she missed Charlie.

You have to go where your heart leads, Audrey, Lord Hawthorne said. In some ways, he reminded her of her own grandfather, although he wasn't as severe or as difficult. But like her grandfather he was a wise man with a kind heart.

Sometimes it's such a difficult decision to make. I want to be here with them, and there with him, and I don't know what to do.

I'll take good care of them for you. He looked at her with a gentle smile and she knew he would.

I know that or I wouldn't even consider it ' . And in her heart of hearts, she knew she had to go. But it was the most difficult thing she had ever done, particularly when she held her baby in her arms and then handed him to Lord Hawthorne a few days later, and she hugged Molly for the last time also.

She had asked them not to come to the station with her. She couldn't have stood that, and as the car drove her away, she looked back and saw Molly running across the lawn after James, with her silky black hair flying in the breeze and little Edward toddling after them, squealing at the top of his lungs and laughing as he fell down. They only waved once and then they went back to their games and she knew they would be all right without her.

Audrey saw Vi for only a few moments before she left, and they talked hurriedly. She didn't have much time before her plane, and Violet drove her to the RAF base, and left her at the front gate. She knew it well, and she got out of the car and hugged Audrey.

Take care of yourself, Aud. And come back safe and sound.

We both will. Take care of yourself and James. The two women exchanged a tearful smile. I'm going to miss you terribly. They had been through so much together, and like the children, she felt traitorous leaving her now. And yet it was so strong in her, to go, and to be with her man, wherever he was.

You're a marvelous girl. I admire you enormously.

For what? Audrey looked embarrassed and surprised.

For having the courage to run off and be with him. It's the right thing to do, and the children will be just fine. It was what she needed to hear and it freed her as she hugged Violet one last time and then watched her drive away as Audrey waved at her.

She reported in after that, and boarded the plane later that night, and a little while later they were on their way. She was suddenly reminded of the trip to Cairo again, when she had gone to find him without warning him. He wasn't expecting her this time either, but somehow she didn't think he'd mind.

It was a long uncomfortable flight in the drafty plane, and the plane came down hard on the runway, jarring her teeth and jangling her nerves. She hadn't seen him in almost a year, and her heart pounded now just thinking of him. She wondered what he would say when he saw her there. Perhaps he'd be furious at her for coming now that they were married and had a child. She clutched her camera as she got off the plane, and as she had done in Cairo, she hopped a jeep to his hotel, and the atmosphere was totally different here. It was more like Istanbul with its mosques and its bazaars and its filth and its smells, but there was a heady perfume in the air and she found her eyes darting everywhere, taking it all in, and instinctively she began focusing her camera and each time they stopped there were a dozen shots she had to take before they drove on, and suddenly she was glad she had come. It was where she belonged, and she took a deep breath and filled her lungs with the pungent odors in the air. She felt like a different person as she got out outside his hotel and looked around, and walked slowly inside to ask for him. The man at the desk spoke to her in French and knew exactly who Charlie was.

Oui, mademoiselle, il est l+. He was there. Dans le bar. She smiled. The bar. Where all business was transacted probably. She walked into the room, feeling her heart pound as it had for him for years, and it reminded her of a dozen other times ' meeting him in Venice that time ' and going to Istanbul ' and Shanghai and Peking ' watching him leave Harbin ' meeting him in San Francisco ' and Antibes and London again ' Cairo when she'd come to him the first time. They had been around the world, circling it with their hearts and their hands, and now she stood directly behind where he sat, and ran a finger gently down the side of his neck.

Buy you a drink? He jumped a foot and turned around with an angry look, much to her delight, and then his eyes grew wide as he looked at her.

Well, I'll be damned ' . He was stunned. What are you doing here? But he did not look displeased. His eyes were warm, and all he wanted was to kiss her lips. He had missed her terribly, and he would never have dared asked her to come, now that she had the baby to take care of. But he was so glad she had come anyway.

I just thought I'd see what you were up to ' since you didn't come home ' . He grinned in answer.

Everything all right back there? She nodded and he signaled to the waiter, and ordered a bottle of champagne.

Everything at home is fine, and everyone sends you their love. He pulled a chair out for her and she sat down next to him. She couldn't take her eyes off of him, and as the waiter poured their champagne he leaned over and kissed her with the passion he had been saving for her for a year.

He smiled at her and lifted his glass. To the wanderlust that brought you back to me ' and always has ' and hopefully always will ' He looked at her tenderly as she lifted her glass and smiled at him.

To us, Charlie.

Amen. His eyes danced as he leaned over and kissed her.