Wanderlust (47 page)

The battles with Rommel seemed to rage on for months, while the British attempted to hold on to Tobruk and Rommel fought them for it, and Charles even went there once, snuck in by jeep late one night with a small force sent by General Wavell. Everyone was being extremely careful now. They covered any tracks they made in the desert sand, and even took their windshields out so there could be no reflection on the windscreen. They were learning some of their tricks from Rommel himself, who seemed to know them all. And Charlie was shocked at how bitter the battle was, how many men were lost and how hopeless it seemed at times. But the British would not give in to Rommel.

Worse, the weather was no longer on their side. The gentle winter months had passed and now the rains made it difficult for tanks to maneuver; then the brutal dust storms of the dry months had sprung up, with walls of fine sand that got into everything, blinding everyone, British and German alike, until one choked with the misery of it. The sandstorms were so powerful that they pushed military trucks over on their sides. Helmets were abandoned and heads were wrapped instead, water became even more precious than before, and everywhere there were biting black flies. Once away from the luxuries of Cairo itself, the battlefield was a miserable place, with soldiers getting lost in the desert storms and dying as they wandered aimlessly, or starved to death in tanks. In fact, in early April, six British generals, staggering in the clouds of dust, had wandered inadvertently into a German camp and were taken prisoner.

Rommel and the Afrika Korps got to within sixty miles of Alexandria, and he was flying in spotter planes all the time now, but the British held fast in Tobruk, and Charlie was grateful to get back to Cairo at last, and find Audrey waiting for him, relieved that he was all right. She flew into his arms as he came up the steps of the hotel. She had been sitting on the terrace, as usual, with friends, and passing the time while she waited for news of him, and suddenly there he was and she was laughing and crying and kissing his eyes and his cheeks and his beard as he spun her around in his arms.

Crazy girl, what've you been up to since I've been gone?

Just waiting for you, my love. She smiled into the eyes she loved so much. I was worried sick.

I'm invincible, my love, like the British fleet. But there had been reports recently that that wasn't entirely true either. U-boats were taking a high toll of British ships and she looked worriedly at Charlie.

I was worried about you every minute you were gone.

That's a terrible waste of time, Aud. She followed him inside and they went upstairs to their room. We've survived everything else that's happened to us, we'll survive this. And think how lucky we are, we're here together, old girl, not like poor Vi who hardly ever sees James anymore.

I know ' but I like it better when the most dangerous thing you do all day is order a double whiskey and soda at five o'clock on the terrace. She smiled and he laughed at her, and with a sweep of his powerful arms he tossed her into bed, and they never went downstairs again that night. They lay together in the comfortable bed, and he told her what Tobruk had been like, and they talked and made love and dozed until the dawn when he got up and showered, and came back to the room to look down at her sleeping form, like an angel who had fallen from the carved ceiling into his bed, and he thought about how lucky they were ' and how lucky he was ' and then he quietly got back into bed and ran a hand over her flesh again. It did something to him just being in the same room with her, and she smiled as she stirred and opened one eye to look sleepily at him.

What a nice way to wake up, my love ' . She reached out and pulled him close to her, kissing his neck and his chest, and then his lips, her eyes closed, her body and her soul in his hands, ever hungry for him.

The British counterattacked in June of 1941, hoping to push the Germans back, but General Wavell failed dismally and he was replaced by the man who was lovingly called The Auch. General Auchinleck reorganized the Western Desert force and put General Cunningham in charge, and it took them fully four months to marshal their full strength to push Rommel back again. They met Rommel at Fort Maddalena on November eighteenth at last, and within a week it was clear that Cunningham would do no better where Wavell had failed. And on the twenty-sixth The Auch removed Cunningham as well. And on the thirtieth, Rommel lay siege to Tobruk again, determined to take it no matter what it cost him. And this time Charlie knew he had to go back to report on it. The battle was too important to be reported from the terrace of Shepheard's or the Gezira Sporting Club. In many ways, this had been an easy post for him, and he and Audrey went out to dinner every night, and often went to the nightclubs with their friends. But he couldn't do that now, and she was upset when she saw him pack the small duffel bag he took to the field with him.

You're going to Tobruk again, aren't you? Her eyes were wide with fear, and he nodded as he looked at her. One thousand men had been lost that day, and The Auch had promised to get him there somehow. I don't want you to go. Her voice was a whisper in the quiet room.

I have to, Aud. That's why I'm over here.

But it's so stupid to get killed for a battle that has gone on for months anyway. They've been fighting over Tobruk since last spring for God's sake. And you've been there once before.

He smiled gently at her. You know I have to, Aud.

Dammit, why can't someone else go? There are a million other correspondents here, and this isn't like a spy mission that no one else can do for chrissake. Any dummy can report a siege.

Then I guess this dummy will have to do. He gently took her hand in his. Don't worry, Aud. I'll be perfectly fine, and I'll be back in a few days.

What if they take you prisoner? She was suddenly terrified. Something told her that he shouldn't go to Tobruk this time.

No one wants me except you, old girl.

I'm serious. Her eyes were filled with tears now. And with good reason. It had happened this way once before.

He was gentle but firm with her, and he left late that night while she slept. It was going to be arduous getting there, and harder still sneaking in behind the lines, but he made it and reported on the battle diligently. He had been there for almost four days when he turned his back to hand a wounded man his canteen for a drink of the little water they had left, when he felt a sudden explosion that flattened him to the ground and an excruciating pain that radiated up his back, and the next thing he knew he was flat on his face and people were talking over him. Everything went black after that, and it got very hot and then very cold, and the pain was excruciating as he was bounced along for what felt like days, and he found himself in a tent somewhere behind the lines. Someone had said that there were Bedouins nearby and he wondered if he'd been attacked by one of them, or kidnapped by them, or maybe he was in German hands ' he didn't know anything anymore ' and it seemed years later when he heard someone call his name, and he thought he heard Audrey's voice but he couldn't be sure of it now. He couldn't be sure of anything except the terrible pain in his back and radiating all the way down his legs ' .

Charlie? ' Charlie ' sweetheart ' . It seemed an eternity before he could open his eyes, but when he did she was looking at him and he was in the British Hospital in Cairo. There was a matron standing by in a starched uniform and there were men moaning everywhere and he found that he was one of them. It's all right, sweetheart. You're safe now ' . It was days before he was awake enough for her to explain it to him. He had been hit by shrapnel when he had turned to give the man a drink.

Will I ever walk again? he said to her mournfully as he lay on his face in the hospital bed, and she smiled at him.

Yes ' but you may not sit down ' . And then suddenly he understood where the pain was coming from, but it wasn't funny to him no matter how amusing everyone else seemed to think it was. He'd been hit in the buttocks. At least it won't show at dinner parties. He smiled gamely at her, but he still felt like hell from the wound and the long trip back from the front lines.

How are they doing up there?

Famously. We had a major victory. Rommel was pushed back yesterday. But something even more important had happened in the meantime. Charlie ' She tried to rouse him from the stupor he fell into now and then from the fever and the drugs. The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor yesterday. Her voice sounded as though it were terribly important and he tried to concentrate and look at her at the same time.

Where's that?

In Hawaii. He still wasn't sure what it all meant but she went on to explain rapidly. America's in the war now. Roosevelt declared war on the Japanese. He called it a day of infamy,' and he's right. It was the place where she had been born, and somehow it hit close to home now, just thinking of it, but Charlie was drifting back to sleep again. He was too sick to really understand, and it was a full week before he was up to talking about it with her, as he lay on his side in his hospital bed.

Well, you're in it with us now.

She looked at him with a scowl. I've been in it all along.

You might have been. But your countrymen certainly were not. Remember that damn speech Lindbergh made in Des Moines in September, urging the United States not to get involved? And Roosevelt was certainly in no hurry to enter the war until they dropped a bomb on his back door. We could have used their help years ago.

At least you'll get it now. Or somebody will. She smiled at him. They were going home in a few days, when it was safe to catch a flight out. And when Charlie was well enough to fly. And there was something she still had to tell him. They had already agreed to go down to the country to visit Vi, and spend Christmas with Molly there, if there was room for them. It was the ideal place for Charlie to recuperate, but he complained bitterly when they left nonetheless. He wanted to stay in North Africa until the bitter end. He was adamant about it up until they boarded the plane, and then he seemed to relax. He suddenly began thinking of the pleasures of going home, and seeing Vi and James and Molly, and he turned to Audrey with a smile, and for the first time he noticed how pale she was. She didn't look well at all. She'd been indoors for weeks, tending to him, and her tan had faded, but more than that, he could see that she didn't feel well, and he was consumed with guilt for not noticing it sooner.

How long have you looked like that?

Like what? She feigned innocence, but she realized he was on to her. Finally. She had kept it from him for a long time. She was almost three months pregnant.

You look pale. Do you feel all right?

She smiled. She could tell him. They were going home, and there was no danger of his sending her home without him. I feel fine ' considering ' . She was teasing him now, and he looked confused.

Considering what?

Considering the fact that I'm almost three months pregnant.

You're what? He was stunned as he stared at her. And you didn't tell me! God damn it, you should have been in bed all this time. Neither of them had forgotten the miscarriage of the year before. But she'd gone to the doctor in Cairo, and he had just told her to take it fairly easy. And she had. She'd been careful, but of course she hadn't stayed in bed, and she didn't intend to now. Are you crazy? But the shock and anger in his voice faded to delight as he looked into her eyes tenderly. You rotten little secretive bitch ' . He kissed her. I love you. He put a gentle hand on her tummy and looked at her with happy eyes. Can you feel him yet?

How do you know it's a boy? The first one had been, but it was not something she liked to think of.

Molly needs a brother. They both smiled and held hands as the plane landed. And that night they took the train down to Lord Hawthorne's house, and Vi was waiting for them with sandwiches and hot chocolate, and they peeked in at Molly, as Audrey sat on the corner of the bed, and stroked her hair, with tears rolling slowly down her cheeks. She looked up at Charles with a smile, and he bent down and kissed them both. It was good to be home ' better still now that he knew about the baby.

The reunion with Molly and Vi and the children was too good to interrupt, but as soon as he was able to travel on his own, Charles insisted on taking the train to London.

Why? You don't have anything to do there! It was almost Christmas, and Audrey hated to be away from him, even for a minute, especially now. She seemed to want to cling to him all the time, and they both knew it was because of her condition. They hadn't told Molly yet. They felt it was too soon, and they wanted to be sure that Audrey wouldn't lose the baby, so she wouldn't be disappointed. Where are you going, Charles?

To do some business, that's all. He didn't want to say anything to her until after he talked to Charlotte. In her delicate condition, he didn't want to get her hopes up. Sit on her today, Vi. Don't let her do anything.

I won't. Violet had been through it once before, and she was going to do everything she could to prevent disaster from striking again. She wagged a finger at her friend and Audrey laughed, wondering where Charlie was going. But they kept busy all afternoon, and Charlie sat on the train, thinking of what he would say to her. It was uncomfortable for him traveling on the train, but he would have walked over hot coals to get where he was going.

The train pulled into the station at exactly five minutes to four, and he hobbled outside on his crutches and hailed a taxi. He gave the driver his publisher's address and sat tensely in the backseat. He didn't even feel the pain of his wound, he was so intent on what he was doing, and he thanked the driver and gave him a handsome tip before hurrying inside, as fast as he could with his crutches. He went to the familiar office and stopped at the secretary's desk. He had decided that it would be best not to call ahead for an appointment, but to surprise her. And the girl looked up at him now, she was new and although the face was familiar to her, she didn't know who he was, and she asked for his name when he asked for Charlotte.