War Torn Love (66 page)

Twelve:
You are to be in your room every night by nine pm; unless, I had instructed you to do additional duties for me.”

             
You hear me well girl, Break any of these rules, including trying to escape, just once.  You, as well as those girls of yours will be beaten, and then sent to the concentration camp. Well if you try to escape, the guards will shoot you. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

             
I answered her back, looking down towards the ground, in a mousy voice, “Yes Mrs. Hoess!” The exact opposite to what I am. I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming out!

             
Thankfully, for me, I did not need to despair, she was more than satisfied with the answer I had given her, “Very good then, this will do for now I suppose. Here is then what I expect you to make for the lunch menu, now get started! Oh look at what time it is! Before you get started, go get in line up with the rest of the staff in the dining room! They have been standing there for a half hour while you have been wasting my time! We conduct this every morning at 6:30.”

             
We all stood there at attention, as she one by- one looked us
over, including to my surprise
she had us strip naked. If I had not known any better, I would say she rather enjoyed it! She to me was proving to be an odd soul, the way she was touching me.

             
Setting somewhat of an exemplar with me, Mrs. Hoess proceeded to slap me across my face, because she had realized my clothing was still slightly damp. The only reason for that is I only had a chance to wash my clothing last night, I had done my best to ring them out, and hung to dry over night, it was bad enough I had to put on damp clothing, I was a bit cold thanks to that. I think the only thing saving me from completely freezing, is she like the house to be on the warm side.

             
She did not punish me any further, since she had known I had not yet received a second set of clothing. She
immediately made sure that I was supplied with additional clothing. She ordered me to go change at once, and hang my damp clothing up. Then she dismissed us, and then ordered us to get back to work.

             
I went back to the room to change, with only a second to spare, the length of time it took me to change. I checked on the girls,

             
“Girls I have to get back to work now, I will check on you both later. Now be good for me my loves, I love you both so much. I will give you both a bunch of loving when I have finished my work.”

             
I knew I had to hurry since the hag was surely waiting for my presence back in the kitchen.

             
While I began cooking, she was watching me with her eagle eye, not missing a single thing, and her blasted commenting on everything I was going, or her countless questions. It quickly became clear to me that she had no idea how to cook, but wanted her husband to think that she could. That is why she at each meal tried taking much of the credit. I could tell her husband did not believe it for a moment, but chose to just play along. It would seem women like her were actually only good at one thing, and that was not cooking.

             
Mrs. Hoess had been making me so bloody nervous, I was getting frustrated, she watched me very closely, why I was not exactly sure why. I should not be nervous about this, this is something I had done a thousand different times before, and working in the kitchen was just second nature
to me. Suddenly I found I was becoming all flustered, I was so scared. I was thankful the girls were both back up in the room at this point. I could not afford to be distracted even more at this point, now, I needed to perform, and everything was now riding on it.

             
Thankfully, for me, my cooking passed the old hag’s muster!  Though she still terrorized me, not desiring to give me the satisfaction of saying or even demonstrating my food was tasted good to her. I knew I passed the first assessment, because she never threw it away. She then lightened up a smidge.

             
So there I was, my first day when.  I set the table for breakfast in the manner she had not sought, so when she spotted what I had done. She yelled from the dining room for me to come out from the kitchen. Wasting no time, not even given a chance to defend myself, she slapped me across the square of my face, knocking me down to the floor.  Turns out, it was the exact opposite way to place the silverware that I was always taught, how was I suppose to know she had expected it this way, she does not bother telling me such things, she had just assumed I would know this.

             
Mrs. Hoess ordered me to bring out all the food. Once I did, she asked me and other Jewish women who looked to be about ten years older than I to wait. The two of us were met to stand in the corner just in case anyone needed something as the Germans ate - we were to attend to any of their needs. It was incredibly torturous on me, my stomach growled. We were supposed to just stand there as if we had become invisible, or something.

             
Then when I was done at the end of the day, The Commanders wife had me strip off all my clothes once again, so that I was embarrassed I was completely naked, so she could personally check to make sure I was not sneaking food back to me room. She checked every possible cavity, just to make sure I was not hiding anything. I was very uncomfortable the way that she would touch me.

             
It seemed everyday she would put me through some manner of her sick tormenting torture. Just when I had thought I had preformed something the way she wanted, then she would come up with something all new. She even went as far as having soldiers rip apart our room where we were staying, randomly. Just to check, making sure we had not
stolen anything. Not that I
could see we were ever given a chance to.

             
All this was proving just as difficult on the girls as it was on me - they too were subjected to strip searches conducted sometimes by the soldiers. It was so degrading to all of us, each time this had happened. I wanted to fight back for my darling, for putting their stinking hands on my girls in improper ways. I know they did not like it either. The soldiers in particular were sexually assaulting us, and completely getting away with it. They were coming just short of raping all the women here. They knew we would not dare say a thing, but they did know if they raped us they might get caught, so at least they never did.

             
I still found ways of sneaking small amounts of food even though it could not be a great deal. I studied her every habit for a couple of days. Paying close attention to her habits, and routines, I knew if I had not attempted
retrieved food for my babies, it
could certainly
spell a slow but surely dawdling painful death to the girls, and I. So as I worked away at the kitchen. If the girls were in the kitchen with me, I would had the girls purposely sitting directly below where I was prepping the food. For two reasons, so they were staying out of the way of the hag. The second reason was, whenever
that hag was not observing me
, I quickly slid pieces of food directly over the edge of the counter. Then the girls held their hands out to catch it in so she would not hear something dropping on the floor. I had instructed them to eat it as quickly as possible. I would signal them both each time ahead just before I was preparing to drop, by tapping my foot softly twice on the marble floor. The girls waited with very watchful diligent eyes, in case a piece of food was to drop their way. It was never enough to accomplish much, but it was helping at keeping them alive, and for that, I could be ever grateful.

             
You know before the war had started up. I would had never thought of lying, or stealing. But now this was the only way we could possibly survive under such conditions. I hoped when this was all over, God could forgive my people for the sins we had been forced to commit in order to stay alive. We were all just doing what we could to survive; we should not be faulted for this.

             
A long grueling week had passed by since coming to this awful house, sure, it was the most beautiful house I had ever stayed in, but the presence of evil seems to linger all around like an all-encompassing fog that wrapped tightly around us all, and did not seem to want to let go. This place was proving to be more a penitentiary than a
house. We were given no freedoms to speak of. I think the only thing that kept me going through the week, enduring so much hardship, was the amazing thought of being able to see my darling husband Abram once more. To have him hold me tightly once more, in his powerful arms. If only for five-minutes - still I
could once
again feel it, was all going to be ok? I could ever briefly feel safe. I know it is only for five-minutes of course, but when everything had been taken away from you, those five minutes could seem like everything. It certainly represented some of the only hope I had left in me. I knew I had been planning every single second of those five-minutes out all week in my head. I lay in bed at night, and fantasized about how wonderful it would be, what I would say, I imagined what Abram would say to me, I fantasized about our kiss. Then I planned on being able to get through the next week to come the very same way, baby-steps. I had learned the hard way here, you could only live from day to day, never planning to far out. Because so much horrible unpredictable things keeps coming our way.

             
As the big event of Friday drew near, I overheard the Germans talking of his impending fight over dinner. All the people sitting at the table talked as carefree, and liberal as if we had not even been there in the room with them. It was clear the Germans no longer showed any sort of humanity towards us, thought nothing of us. They said that they were all going to the fight. After they were done with dinner, I tried my best to clean the table and kitchen up as quickly as possible. Therefore, I could get my five minutes when the fight was over. The thought never even crossed
my mind that he would not, win; I had complete faith in him. I knew that he could do it.

             
Then I waited by the sink for my nightly inspection. I stood there for a half hour. She came finally strolled in through the doors, with a huge smirk written on her pert face. She walked over to me, and then what she had said to me, and then what she proceeded to do next, well let us just say shocked the heck out of me. I had felt like I was just slammed in the gut. She showed me her true ruthlessness.

             
“You filthy stinking Jew, I know you thought you would be seeing your husband tonight.” my heart skipped a beat with the thought. Let me let you in on a secret, you were never going to be allowed to see him, it was all just a ploy to get your husband to put his heart into the fight.”

             
Catching me completely off guard, since I was distracted by what she had just said, my thoughts took me elsewhere. Just then, she up and slapped me as hard as she could for no reason. Striking me squarely across my face. Her large diamond ring getting caught up on my left cheek. I flew down to the ground, and now had received a cut across my cheek, as the ring ground into my flesh.

             
“You will be going nowhere tonight; you have to see I do not believe in rewarding a Jew for nothing! The only good Jew is of course a dead Jew. And my handsome husband is doing his best at wiping you off the face of this earth. You are lucky you are even still alive. Therefore, you just put it out of your mind about seeing him; say I will tell you what; you
had been
working hard all week. You could had the rest of the evening off as a small gesture! But I do
not want you taking my kindness for gradient.  Now I have to get going to the fight. Here is your menu for tomorrow! Oh, we will be having ten additional people over for dinner, very important people! I want to make a good impression with these people. So it better be taste simply divine!”