Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality (15 page)
Read Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality Online
Authors: Wesley Hill
9.
John Webster, “The Church as Witnessing Community,”
Scottish Bulletin of Evangelical Theology
21 (2003): 22.
10.
Frederick Buechner,
Wishful Thinking: A Seeker’s ABC
(1973; repr., San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1993), 65.
11.
Quoted in Hays,
Moral Vision of the New Testament,
401.
12.
Andrew F. Walls,
The Missionary Movement in Christian History
(Maryknoll, N.Y.: Orbis, 1996), 8.
13.
Hays,
Moral Vision of the New Testament,
391—92.
14.
Stephen Neill,
A History of Christian Missions
(New York: Penguin, 1990),
86.
15.
Quoted in Henri J. M. Nouwen,
Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life
(Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday, 1975), 24.
16.
Quoted in Lane Dennis, ed.,
The Letters of Francis A. Schaeffer
(Westchester, Ill.: Crossway, 1985), 195.
17.
Philip Yancey,
The Jesus I Never Knew
(Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1995), 274.
18.
Wendell Berry,
Jayber Crow: The Life Story of Jayber Crow, Barber, of the Port William Membership, as Written by Himself
(New York: Counterpoint, 2000).
19.
Ibid., 10.
20.
Ibid. 248.
21.
Ibid., 247.
22.
C. S. Lewis,
Mere Christianity (1943;
repr., New York: HarperCollins, 2001), 142.
23.
Karl Barth,
Church Dogmatics
III/2 (Edinburgh: T&T Clark, 1960), 43, italics added.
24.
Walter Moberly, “The Use of Scripture in Contemporary Debate about Homosexuality,”
Theology
103 (2000): 254.
25.
Ibid., 258.
1.
Henri J. M. Nouwen,
The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming
(New York: Doubleday, 1992).
2.
Ibid., 69-70, 71-72.
3.
Michael Ford,
Wounded Prophet: A Portrait of Henri J. M. Nouwen
(New York: Doubleday, 2002), 157.
4.
Ibid., 159; cf. Philip Yancey,
Soul Survivor: How My Faith Survived the Church
(New York: Doubleday, 2001), 314.
5.
Henri J. M. Nouwen,
Adam: God’s Beloved
(London: Darton, Longman and Todd, 1997), 38.
6.
Yancey,
Soul Survivor,
315.
7.
Michael O’Laughlin,
Henri Nouwen: His Life and Vision
(Maryknoll, N.Y.: Orbis, 2005), 85.
8.
Quoted in ibid.
9.
Nouwen,
Return of the Prodigal Son,
73.
10.
See O’Laughlin,
Henri Nouwen,
85.
11.
Yancey,
Soul Survivor,
301.
12.
Ford,
Wounded Prophet,
170.
13.
Yancey,
Soul Survivor,
302, order slightly altered.
14.
Ford,
Wounded Prophet,
73, 92.
15.
Ibid., 140.
16.
Ibid., 142, 143.
17.
Ibid., 73.
18.
Henri Nouwen,
The Wounded Healer
(New York: Random House, 1979), 84.
1.
Rowan Williams, “The Body’s Grace,” in
Theology and Sexuality: Classic and Contemporary Readings,
ed. Eugene F. Rogers Jr. (Oxford: Blackwell, 2002), 313.
2.
Wendell Berry,
Hannah Coulter: A Novel
(Washington, D.C.: Shoemaker & Hoard, 2004), 71.
3.
Ibid., 109.
4.
Ibid., 65.
5.
Denis Haack, movie review of
Garden State, http://www.ransomfellowship.org/ articledetail.asp?AID=114&B=Denis%20Haack&TID=2.
6.
For more on the idea of intentional Christian community, see, e.g., Jonathan Wilson-Hargrove,
New Monasticism: What It Has to Say to Today’s Church
(Grand Rapids: Brazos, 2008). For the church’s historic views on celibacy and sexual abstinence, see Peter Brown,
The Body and Society: Men, Women, and Sexual Renunciation in Early Christianity
(20th anniv. ed.; New York: Columbia University Press, 2008). Perhaps this is the best place to mention that many homosexual Christians are likely to find themselves often falling short of these various “options” for Christian faithfulness. In my view, the church should continue to explain the biblical and theological reasons for avoiding same-sex erotic activity and help homosexual Christians live up to that ideal but also continually, repeatedly show grace and understanding toward those who fail.
7.
“A Personal Journey,” the testimony of a gay evangelical Christian,
http://www.courage.org.uk/articles/article.asp?id=145.
8.
Quoted in Misty Irons, “‘Immoral’ and ‘Faggot,’” March 19, 2007 (blog post),
http://moremusingson.blogspot.com/2007/03/immoral-and-faggot.html.
9.
Williams, “Body’s Grace,” 311-12.
10.
J. Louis Martyn,
Galatians: A New Translation with Introduction and Commentary
(Anchor Bible 33A; New York: Doubleday, 1997), 381.
11.
Henri J. M. Nouwen,
Sabbatical Journey: A Diary of His Final Year
(New York: Crossroad, 1998), 25.
12.
Quoted in Agnieszka Tennant, “A Shrink Gets Stretched,”
Christianity Today,
May 2003,
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2003/may/7.52.html.
13.
Richard B. Hays,
The Moral Vision of the New Testament
(San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1996), 402.
14.
Hafiz, “My Eyes So Soft,” in
The Gift: Poems by Hafiz,
trans. Daniel Ladinsky (New York: Penguin, 1999), 277. Copyright © 1999 by Daniel Ladinsky. Used by permission of Daniel Ladinsky.
15.
C. S. Lewis,
The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses
(1949; repr., New York: HarperCollins, 2001), 41-42.
16.
Oliver O’Donovan,
Resurrection and Moral Order: An Outline for Evangelical Ethics
(Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1986), 70.
1.
Frederick Buechner,
Speak What We Feel, Not What We Ought to Say: Reflections on Literature and Faith
(San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2004), 24. For the biographical information that follows, I am indebted to Buechner’s book,
as well as Robert Bernard Martin,
Gerard Manley Hopkins: A Very Private Life
(New York: G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 1991).
2.
Buechner,
Speak What We Feel,
23.
3.
Quoted in ibid., 24.
4.
Ibid.
5.
Gerard Manley Hopkins, “I Wake and Feel”; all poems hereafter are cited by title and are taken from Gerard Manley Hopkins,
Hopkins: Poems and Prose
(New York: Knopf, 1995).
6.
“God’s Grandeur.”
7.
“Spring and Fall: To a Young Child.”
8.
“I Wake and Feel.”
9.
“No Worst.”
10.
“No Worst.”
11.
“To Seem the Stranger.”
12.
Buechner,
Speak What We Feel,
23.
13.
“The Wreck of the Deutschland,” stanza 9.
14.
“Carrion Comfort.”
15.
“In the Valley of the Elwy.”
16.
“The Lantern Out of Doors.”
17.
“That Nature Is a Heraclitean Fire and of the Comfort of the Resurrection.”
1.
Michael O’Laughlin,
Henri Nouwen: His Life and Vision
(Maryknoll, N.Y.: Orbis, 2005), 85.
2.
Dallas Willard,
The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God
(San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997), 165.
3.
Ibid., 164.
4.
Robert W. Jenson,
Systematic Theology,
2 vols. (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1999), 2:141.
5.
For amplification of many of the points in this chapter, see Todd A. Wilson,
Praise from God: The Promise of Glory at the Judgment Seat of Christ
(forthcoming).
6.
C. S. Lewis,
The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses
(1949; repr., New York: HarperCollins, 2001), 34, 36.
7.
Ibid., 38-39.
8.
Ibid., 37, order slightly altered.
9.
Ibid., 37-38.
10.
Jonathan Edwards, ed.,
The Life and Diary of David Brainerd
(Grand Rapids: Baker, 1989), 372. My thanks to Todd Wilson for drawing my attention to this reference and many others like it in Brainerd’s journals.
11.
Quoted in Philip Yancey,
Soul Survivor: How My Faith Survived the Church
(New York: Doubleday, 2001), 130.
12.
See Miroslav Volf,
Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace
(Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2005), 98, for this analogy. The passage is worth quoting in full, since Volf makes the same point I am trying to make here: “Even if all of us are sinners from head to toe, none of us is a sinner through and through, with nothing good remaining in us. As sinners, we are still God’s good creatures. To illustrate the relationship between being a good creature and being a sinner, Reformation theologians used the analogy of water and ink. Water is the good creation, ink is sin, and the sinner is a glass of water with a few drops of ink. All the water in the glass is tainted, but it’s still mostly water, not ink. Analogously, all our good deeds are marred by sin, but they are still mostly good deeds, not crimes masquerading as merits.”
13.
In 1 Corinthians 15:9, Paul writes: “I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God” (cf. 1 Timothy 1:13, 15: “Formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent.…Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost”). This has led many people to think that Paul had a self-conception similar to that of Brainerd and Tolstoy. However, these texts probably refer to Paul’s
former
manner of life in Judaism, when he violently sought to destroy the nascent faith in Jesus. After his experience with the risen Christ on the Damascus road (see Acts 9:1—19), when he realized his ignorance and error, he became an apostle of Christ and seemed to have a “robust conscience” as a Christian believer from then on, untroubled by guilt feelings or an overwhelming sense of being corrupt and constantly displeasing to God in his thoughts and actions. “I do not even judge myself. I am not aware of anything against myself,” he writes (1 Corinthians 4:3—4). Passages like this could be multiplied. For a helpful statement of this view of Paul, drawing on many different texts, see Gordon Fee,
God’s Empowering Presence: The Holy Spirit in the Letters of Paul
(Peabody, Mass.: Hendrickson, 1994), 420-71, 508-15, 816-22.
When Paul writes in Romans 7, “I am of the flesh, sold under sin” and “I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” and “The evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (vv. 14, 15, 19), he is probably not referring to sinful actions he commits as a Christian. Rather, with these statements Paul seems to be narrating the corporate experience of the people of Israel, their experience of idolatry and disobedience that eventually led to their exile in Assyria and Babylon as recorded in the Old Testament, as well as the presentday experience of those “under the law.” In Romans 6 and 8, he expresses a sharply contrasting view of himself and other Christians in the new era of the Spirit: “Thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become
obedient from the heart…and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness” (6:17—18). “The righteous requirement of the law [is] fulfilled in us” (8:4). “You…are not in the flesh but in the Spirit” (8:9). For engaging commentaries that support this reading of Romans 6—8, see especially Douglas J. Moo,
Romans,
The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2000); Tom Wright,
Paul for Everyone: Romans: Chapters 1—8
(Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 2004); and Anthony A. Hoekema,
The Christian Looks at Himself
(Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1975).
14.
Thomas Hopko,
Christian Faith and Same-Sex Attraction: Eastern Orthodox Reflections
(Ben Lomond, Calif.: Conciliar, 2006), 48. The passage from Paul that Hopko quotes is Romans 12:1.
15.
J. R. R. Tolkien,
The Two Towers,
part 2, The Lord of the Rings (repr., New York: Ballantine, 1965), 362. See also Ralph C. Wood, “Frodo’s Faith, Middle-earth Truths,”
Christian Century
120 (September 6, 2003): 20—25.
16.
Martin Hallett, “Homosexuality: Handicap and Gift,” in
Holiness and Sexuality: Homosexuality in a Biblical Context,
ed. David Peterson (Carlisle, UK: Paternoster, 2004), 121.
17.
Ibid., 122; cf. 131.
18.
Ibid., 123.
19.
Ibid., 144.
20.
Ibid., 140.
21.
Ibid., 143.
22.
Ibid., 122.
23.
Ibid., 124.
24.
Ibid., 139.
25.
Ibid., 143.
Wesley Hill’s work is a combination of profound personal honesty and deep pastoral reflection. His academically gifted mind applied to the careful exegesis of God’s Word has led him to countercultural yet biblical conclusions and applications. Wesley’s passion to glorify Jesus by living faithfully as a Christian man who happens to have a homosexual orientation is an inspiration to every struggling believer who wishes things were different than they are. His insights and biblical reflections will be a substantial help to many fellow agonizers as they live out their faith in a fallen world. This book can provide life-changing encouragement to any believer who yearns to be faithful to the God who has accomplished salvation—a salvation that is already but not yet. For we who are in Christ are all “washed and waiting.”
Tom Steller, academic dean, Bethlehem College and Seminary
Wesley Hill has written a courageous book. His story will resonate with the unique experience of other Christians with same-sex feelings they did not choose. But his theological perspective broadens his message to include all believers who are struggling to live faithfully in a broken world. This book will also challenge churches to be communities of costly love where men and women can be real with each other.
Mardi Keyes, L’Abri Fellowship
Washed and Waiting
is vividly written and deeply reflective. It is also an enormously risky project in that it openly presents Wesley Hill’s struggles to come to terms with his sexuality and his hard-won decision to live a celibate life. Books on this subject may be intelligent
or
theologically responsible
or
honest, but I’ve never seen one that possessed all three virtues—until now. Any Christian who wants to grapple seriously, biblically, and charitably with human sexuality must read this book.
Alan Jacobs, Clyde S. Kilby professor of English, Wheaton College
Like a well-crafted tapestry,
Washed and Waiting
skillfully weaves biblical commentary with personal reflection as it leads the reader inside a Christian life lived amidst the reality of homosexuality. Gently iconoclastic and courageously human in its authenticity and transparency, Wesley Hill instructs and humbles both head and heart as he unpacks the pain, confusion, deep sense of loss, and loneliness of the faithful Christian homosexual person’s walk. There is, however, no hand-wringing here. Few books have left me with as much hope as
Washed and Waiting.
Christopher W. Mitchell, Marion E. Wade professor of Christian Thought, Wheaton College
This is an incredibly important book that moves beyond the usual faceless arguments and Christian rhetoric and instead is someone’s actual story—a story that tells of someone who has maintained the truths of Scripture and fleshes them out in real life. It is a raw, insightful, honest, beautiful, gut-wrenching, gripping story that I pray many people will read. I thank Wesley Hill for the courage to share this message in a culture that desperately needs to hear it.
Dan Kimball, author of
They Like Jesus But Not The Church
Wesley Hill graciously offers himself in
Washed and Waiting.
He holds on to faith and hope while describing his own dark night of the soul as a gay man committed to the church’s long-standing position of abstinence outside of heterosexual marriage. Straight people gain an empathetic understanding of homosexuality, and gay and lesbian Christians committed to celibacy will find a companion who identifies with their pain and loneliness. We are all reminded of the challenges associated with our striving for intimacy, sexual purity, and wholeness. A worthy read.
Lisa Graham McMinn, PhD, professor, George Fox University, and author of
Sexuality and Holy Longing
How do the gospel, holiness, and indwelling sin play out in the life of a Christian struggling with same-sex attraction? And how do brothers and sisters in Christ show love to them? Wesley Hill offers wise counsel that is biblically faithful, theologically serious, and oriented to the life and practice of the church. He accomplishes a number of things in this small book: a capable defense of the Christian tradition’s prohibition of homosexual practice, an illuminating analysis of the isolating effects of struggle with this particular sin, a careful consideration of the present and future aspects of salvation, and a heartfelt call to fight for each other’s faith and repentance as a church body. This is now
the
book regarding a crucial theological issue of our time.
Michael Allen, assistant professor of systematic theology, Knox Theological Seminary