We Awaken (16 page)

Ashlinn looked doubtful, but I could see some hope seeping through.

“That’s true, but she’s also confused and very misguided.”

“Aren’t we all? Look, you want me to start making good decisions for myself. That’s part of the reason you came to start with. Let me do this, please. I’ve already lost too many people I love.”

She was definitely thinking it over, and I already knew I’d won. Our pull over each other went both ways.

“Fine. Here’s the plan: when you go to sleep, I’ll enter your dream and beckon Semira to us and maybe allow you two to speak. I’ll find out why she’s running rampant with the nightmares and see if we can knock some sense into the woman.” Her tone was pessimistic, and in the time we’d known each other she had never looked so unsure, but I felt beyond victorious.

“Thank you so much,” I squealed, practically rolling on top of her in a botched attempt at a hug. “Now we have the whole day before us too.”

“We shouldn’t let it linger. It will probably be our last together,” she reminded me, and I deflated.

“Don’t speak like that,” I begged, squeezing her.

I draped myself over her shoulders as her arms snaked around my waist. It felt safe in her embrace, and she still smelled like summer nights. This was acceptance, not of her but of myself. Our foreheads were so close we were breathing the same air. Who needs kissing when you can share oxygen?

“You’re the most fantastic thing that has ever happened to me, and I won’t even be able to talk about you to anyone.”

“Nor will I. There’s always Reeves, but I doubt he’d want to be privy to such intimate information about his dear sister.”

I felt vaguely horrified at her telling my brother anything about our romantic life, regardless of its lack of physicality.

“You wouldn’t dare,” I growled, and she laughed, although her heart was obviously not in it. That was a tragedy in itself.

I pulled her in tight as if it were my intention to absorb her—not that it would be a bad idea because then nothing would be able to steal her away—and rubbed circles into her shoulder blades. This could have continued indefinitely if my stomach hadn’t rumbled.

“Sorry, we skipped lunch,” I said as an excuse, and she gave me a half smile and started to pull me toward the kitchen. “Is it bad I could honestly care less about eating right now?” I asked her, although it wasn’t really the truth. “I can eat any day, but who knows how much time I have left with you? I can manage.”

She ignored my protests and began rummaging through the cabinets.

“If you learn one thing from my being here, I hope it’s that there’s little more important than caring for that body of yours. Sacrificing yourself for stupid reasons isn’t okay, not that we’re a stupid reason or anything. Case in point, you need to eat. Besides, you took care of me. It’s about time I return the favor.”

There would be no coercing the girl, so I decided to make the most of it.

“Ramen’s to your left,” I told her before taking a seat to watch.

SHE READ
through the instructions on the back of the package several times before even opening it, and neatly placed the brick of noodles right in the center of a plate rescued from the cabinet. Then she laid the seasoning packet squarely next to it, and the still intact instructions remained in her grasp as she searched for a pot and measuring cups.

I had never actually heard of someone measuring the amount of water to boil for instant noodles, but she did just that, and the measurements were extremely precise judging by how she got eye level with the cup. I almost interrupted her cooking, but it seemed better to allow her to do this however she deemed best.

She slowly poured the water into a small pot and lit the stove beneath it. Her eyes never left the water as she waited for it to boil, and I held back any observations about watched pots. I tried to commit certain details of her physicality to memory, like her stature. This might be my last chance to do so, and even blinking seemed like a waste of time. The way she held herself was an art form. She was doing something with the noodles and a wooden spoon, but I was too busy trying to sear the image of her obsidian curls into my memory to really pay any attention. I hadn’t even realized she finished until the still steaming water was being poured down the drain.

We sat at the round kitchen table with our chairs pulled up as close to one another as we could manage, two forks and a single bowl of ramen being shared between us. Our arms were pressed against each other and I kept laying my head on her shoulder between bites. This wasn’t something I could fathom ever doing with anyone else. No friend had ever been this close. This really was a romantic relationship.

“You know,” I said, barely louder than a whisper, “I don’t think I mind being asexual.”

“Then the time I spent being human means more than I dared hope.”

The noodles were gone, but neither of us moved. We just sat there, lost, using each other for support.

Finally, Ashlinn screwed up her courage and spoke. “Might as well get this over with. Let’s go talk to Semira.”

We went to my room, figuring it would be easier for me to succumb to sleep if I was actually in a bed instead of on the floor. It was a good excuse not to revisit the site of our slumber party; that would surely not have been a pretty sight.

In the bathroom I changed into the pajamas I had been wearing when Ashlinn first appeared in my bed, although there was little reason not to undress in front of her.

She had placed a chair next to the bed in my absence. It might as well have been a guillotine blade.

“No way,” I insisted, glaring at the chair like it was something lethal. “You’re lying down with me.”

I tried to instill every ounce of surety into that one statement. My arms were even crossed to further show my resolve.

“What’s the point?” she asked with her hands clutching the top. “It’s not as if I’m going to be sleeping.”

“Even more reason for you to hold me, dammit. It might be our only chance. If I’m going to go the rest of my life untouched, I need to stock up now.”

That seemed to be enough because she silently pushed the chair to the side with a nod and shut off the lights. Everything was still completely visible in the sunshine coming through the blinds, and she climbed into bed after me, which felt like a reversal of her first night in this world.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep very quickly like this. It’s still early,” I told her, pulling the comforter up over us. There was no pretending I was upset by the extra time I believed we would inevitably have to spend together.

“Don’t worry.”

I wasn’t, but I let her continue.

“I have a plan.”

She spooned up behind me, and I felt the situation should have been a lot more uncomfortable than it truly was. There was a certain level of safety in her arms. With her head nuzzled up behind me, she brought magic into reality.

First she whispered, “I love you and won’t let this be the end.”

Oh God, I should have been the first to say it. I wanted nothing more than to return the sentiment. Someone loved me, and it wasn’t out of obligation. They dug beneath the scars and low IQ. This is what I tried to express with my dancing.

Then before I could even open my mouth to respond like I so desperately wanted to, she began humming a single note. The tone was so low and deep it seemed to relax every muscle in my body. I hadn’t realized how tense I was. My head was getting heavier and sinking deeper into the pillow by the second. It was so plush and welcoming, but I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to revel in those three words. The second that humming met my ears, though, I was teetering on the foggy area between asleep and waking. In no time I was out cold.

Bright bursts tore through the darkness of my mind.

Fireworks.

I was in a stadium of some sort, and fireworks were exploding into a supernova of glitter that rained down like blessings. Much in the way of blessings, they also failed to reach their destination. I heard a deafening bam followed by a worn-out fizzing sound, and it seemed to stick in my ears after the lights faded. Looking around the stadium revealed only empty seats and a vacant field. Dread chilled my skin.

“Ashlinn?”

My stammering voice was swallowed up by silence.

The sky kept lighting up in a sickening display of color, and I spun around on the large concrete stairs, not feeling safe with my back turned anywhere. At the top of the staircase stood a hot dog cart and an abandoned gift shop. They were only visible when the fireworks went off. I continued turning uncomfortably, scanning the seats, until I faced the field again.

I was not alone. And Ashlinn was not the one keeping me company.

An elderly woman was two steps down from me with the unnatural black hair that comes from boxed dye. A murky brown robe covered in different sized, clear buttons hung off her shoulders.

A gun was pointed at me with near translucent skeletal fingers clutched around the trigger. Those fingers belonged to her.

Something was off about the whole situation, apart from the geezer with a gun. The air was sick and every seat seemed distant, like I would never be able to reach them even if I ran. I tried, but my feet felt like cinder blocks and I remained immobile. In a similar manner, my vocal cords forgot their purpose, and all hope of screaming for help was lost. My entire world was the barrel of a gun.

There was another bam like before, except this one was not followed by a fizzing sound. Light did appear, but it was much more focused and erupted only from the point my eyes were locked on. As if in slow motion, I saw the bullet launch and twist in the air toward my heart. The fear culminated in my immobile body as metal tore through bone and the surrounding flesh.

Then there was nothing.

My body was floating in a gray oblivion. It was edgeless and claustrophobic all at once. My soul spiraled there for what could have been ages when Ashlinn’s voice cut through the emptiness, tethering me to something.

“Stop it, you’re going to make her wake up! Stop this right now, Semira.”

Her voice was muffled, but she was definitely shouting.

Exiting that abyss was like being sucked down a drain that squeezed and stretched as you filtered through, and on the other side was a room as white as my brother’s hospital. Unlike the hospital, though, there was no visible ceiling. Or any patients, for that matter. Just the culmination of every color of the rainbow into one uncomfortably bright, blank canvas.

Ashlinn was standing there, glaring at the old lady who had lost the gun after I failed at losing my life. I desperately wanted to run to my girlfriend and demand an explanation, but my feet still felt heavy, so I merely stared and attempted to puzzle out the situation at hand.

“You’re okay, Victoria. I must assure you I never intended for that to happen,” Ashlinn told me, her eyes never leaving that woman. It reminded me of nature shows where they warn the viewers to not drop their gaze when facing a predator. “We wanted to ask you a favor. I know you are a kind woman but recently things have been getting out of hand. We were hoping a compromise could be made.”

Ashlinn walked over and took my stiff hand.

“Don’t you have anything to say, Victoria?” She was looking at me hopefully, and I tried to organize my sensible thoughts among the still lingering memories of fear.

Why is this important? Right. Ashlinn is going to leave. Nightmares.

Some girl named Semira is giving everyone nightmares.

With a shock I realized the old woman had to be the tormentor in question, haggard appearance and all. I’m not sure what I expected, maybe another teenaged beauty. Instead, the foil to Ashlinn’s powers was someone who looked minutes away from being tossed into a retirement home. She was standing before us, sentinel still with those fragile hands clasped behind her back. I’ll give the woman one thing, for such a feeble-looking lady, her posture was impeccable.

“Well,” I began, partially as a bid for more time, “this is Semira?”

“Of course she is.”

“Of course I am.” Her creaky voice came from every direction. There would be no pinning down its origin if it weren’t for her moving lips. She redirected her attention from me to Ashlinn, allowing her gaze to linger over our linked hands.

“You haven’t been doing your job. I was going to ask why, but I suppose the explanation is standing right in front of me. Funny, I never took you to be the caring type.”

Ashlinn’s hand clenched angrily around mine. “You barely even know me.”

“No, I suppose I don’t, but we are one and the same. Entities who exist solely to do the best for people like her. Or at least, you used to hold their best interests in mind. Tell me, is she worth all the suffering you are causing?”

Ashlinn didn’t answer. She just stared straight ahead. This woman didn’t just toy with her guilt. As if that weren’t bad enough, there was more.

“Wait, I think I’ve figured this out. She’s a freak like you, isn’t she? Scared of sex and not willing to try. A shame, truly. A pretty girl such as yourself would have made many men so very happy. Just imagine the fantasies. Still, no wonder you got attached to this one. Feeling like less of a mistake is obviously more important than the exhausted parents dealing with screaming infants at the witching hour.”

Semira was dancing around as she spewed these words, her movements looking downright improbable. I wanted to shout out that it wasn’t the way she said at all and to please shut up, but instead I distilled my disgust into carefully picked words. That was the reason for this endeavor to begin with and our only chance.

“We love each other so much, and you don’t need to understand the way we show it to know it’s true. Look at us. The idea of never seeing her again makes me feel like I’m drowning. Please just tone it down with the nightmares. There’s no reason for them to continue, and we’re not asking you to stop completely. Just go back to normal. If the world can sleep, we can be together, and you’ll never have to deal with our freakishness again.” The ending I had tacked on with a fair amount of spite, but it seemed justified. Not that Semira noticed. Actually, I had barely gotten out the first sentence when she began laughing with closed lips and twinkling eyes.