West For Love (A Mail Order Romance Novel) (14 page)

“I see you feel better,” he said to
Anna.

Anna touched Thomas’s face and
smiled. “I told you I did. Something little, nothing to worry about. I bet I
could get out in that field with you even.”

Thomas bellowed a laugh. “I’d
rather you stay right here. Anna, I’ve never eaten so well in my life. And I’ve
never felt so loved before.”

When Thomas made comments as such
it left Anna fighting the urge to think about his former wife. Were they really
happy? Were they in love like he and Anna were now? Did she truly care for him?

But Anna knew better than to bring
that kind of stuff up. These were the present moments for she and Thomas. After
Thomas left the kitchen, Anna looked down at her stomach and wondered if their
future had already been claimed.

Thomas Jr. had been really fussy
that day too. Nothing could ease the poor baby and without the ability to speak
his feeling or ailments like a child or adult could, it was difficult to soothe
him. When it came time to feed, he would silently suckle Jo’s breast but then
let out a wail every minute or so. It attracted the attention of both Anna and
Thomas who stood with Jo and Thomas Jr. in Jo’s small room, wondering what
could be causing Thomas Jr. such discomfort. Anna feared the worst, knowing
just how easy it was to lose a life. The world was a beautiful place, with all
of God’s creation but it could sometimes be just as cruel. Thomas knew that and
Anna didn’t need to really think about it at that moment.

Thomas put his arm around Anna and
pulled her close. They stared at Thomas Jr. like mother and father, both caring
and concerned.

“I wonder if I should take him to
town,” Thomas said. “Dr. Hibert will see him right now, no matter the hour I
arrive.”

“I’m sure he would,” Jo said.

Thomas Jr. let out another wail and
Anna stepped forward, almost instinctively.

“May I hold him?” Anna asked.

“Of course,” Jo said.

Anna took the baby and Jo dressed
herself while Thomas watched Anna as she begin to rock the baby gently in her
arms. It was such a beautiful moment for Anna, not just becoming a mother to
Thomas Jr. or feeling like a mother to Thomas Jr., but she felt the love and
need to protect the infant in her arms.

“Is he teething?” Anna asked.

She looked at Thomas and he had a
blank stare on his face. Anna knew the worry Thomas must have felt each time
something happened. It had to be a reminder of... Ann closed her eyes and
thought about what Jo had said earlier.

Pregnant.

She opened her eyes and looked at
Jo, needing more than just an answer to the question she posed.

“That would make sense,” Jo said.
“He’s about the age.”

“Wouldn’t you feel it?” Thomas
asked, his eyes dark and accusing.

“When the teeth break through the
gums, yes,” Jo said. “But right now, he could just be in pain from the teeth
pushing, trying to break through.”

Thomas nodded and Anna turned
towards him, wanting to be as close as possible to Thomas while she held Thomas
Jr.. Thomas touched Thomas Jr.’s head and looked down at his only son.

“Feel better soon,” Thomas
whispered.

The sound of Thomas’s voice had an
amazing effect on Thomas Jr. He quickly smiled and his arms moved, wanting his
father.

“He just needs his father,” Anna
whispered.

“No,” Thomas said. “He needs his
parents.”

Anna smiled and Thomas hugged her
gently as the three of them cuddled Thomas Jr., soothing him from his pain
until he eventually fell asleep. Jo then retired to bed, saying she wanted
extra sleep just in case Thomas Jr. got up a lot during the night if he was in
pain. Anna quickly thanks Jo but explained it wasn’t her duty to do such a
thing.

“I’ll wake you if he’s hungry,”
Anna said. “You enjoy a long night of sleep. Tonight is actually nice and cool,
perfect weather to sleep.”

“Fair enough,” Jo said with a
smile.

That night after the house settled
into its routine slumber, Thomas rolled towards Anna in bed, his hand becoming
so accustomed to touching her breasts, Anna waited for it and let out a soft
moan when he did so. It was like completing the day for her body and mind. But
as Thomas began to kiss her mouth, always offering a sense of passion that made
Anna feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the world, a slight achy
feeling came across her chest. As Anna groaned, Thomas quickly stopped, knowing
it wasn’t the same sound of pleasure that Anna normally offered.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered.

“Oh, nothing,” Anna said. “I love
you, Thomas.”

Thomas loved her back, kissing her,
touching her.

When Thomas took his hand from her
breast, Anna felt a sense of relief but a mild tenderness was still present. It
had nothing to do with Thomas’s touch. He wasn’t a rough man and even if he had
been, this wasn’t the kind of tender pain that came from bruising or such. This
was from... inside. That was the only way Anna could describe it.

Frankly, her breasts were tender.

And when Thomas moved between her
legs, positioning his body and coming forward with that first gentle thrust as
he always did, Anna’s body tightened and she had to place her lips to Thomas’s
shoulder to keep from crying out. Her toes even curled because the pressure
felt so intense. It was like everything inside her body was suddenly tender and
achy.

Anna wanted to believe it was just
coincidence that it was her female areas feeling this way, but she couldn’t
deny it... it started to make a little more sense. Those were the areas given
by God to reproduce and nourish.

She and Thomas enjoyed each other’s
company and Thomas gave Anna one last goodnight kiss and fell asleep. But Anna
remained awake. She touched her right breast and even just placing her hand on
her breast gave her that tender feeling. Her hand moved down to her stomach and
she felt the slight hardness again. She hadn’t eaten in hours so it wasn’t a
full stomach kind of feeling.

It was definitely something else.

Maybe Jo was right...

Anna turned her head and saw the
outline of her sleeping husband.

Tears rushed to her eyes as she
imagined how to say it.

Thomas,
I’m pregnant...

Chapter Fourteen

For the next week, something
different happened in the morning. Instead of vomiting, Anna got an extremely
ill feeling in her stomach and her limbs became loose and she felt as though
she would pass out. When it hit her, she would just lean against something in
the kitchen and breathe her way through it. There wasn’t as much pain as there
was discomfort. Her stomach bile bubbled and tried to work its way up to her
throat, but it was never the same vomiting as before.

This put Thomas’s mind at ease.
When he didn’t see his wife sick anymore, his worries subsided. He ate his
breakfast and went to work as normally planned. But Jo noticed and she tried
her best to secretly help Anna through it. The routine was uncanny, the
feeling, the way Anna’s mind raced, and then it would just go away. Anna would
then eat a large breakfast and she’d have energy for the rest of the day. Each
time Jo touched Anna and consoled her, Anna prayed Jo wouldn’t bring the
subject of pregnancy up. Anna couldn’t handle it when she felt normal, let
alone ready to vomit or pass out.

Another week went by, followed by
another. Time was racing by for Anna. She continued to care for the house, for
her family, and finally, Thomas Jr. had one of his teeth break through. The
night it happened was a horrible night of the poor baby screaming for hours on
end. Anna and Jo stayed up the entire night with him, taking turns walking and
rocking him. It wasn’t until the early morning light of dawn did they see the
tooth.

Jo had laughed and joked, “I guess
my job is going to get a little more painful now!”

And Anna had to laugh at it too.
She needed a good laugh. Never in her life did she feel so conflicted, not even
when she was married to William. Watching Thomas work long hours and make good
money, watching Jo now struggle sometimes to feed Thomas Jr., and now the
changes in her own body. The changes she had to face.

The sickness in the morning slowly
ended, but one morning as Anna cooked breakfast she felt her belly touch the
basin in the kitchen. When it happened, Anna gasped and froze. She looked down,
knowing she was in the same position she always stood. It wasn’t that Anna had
gotten closer to the basin, it was that Anna’s stomach had done so. When nobody
was looking, Anna rushed to the bedroom and lifted her dress to expose her
stomach.

It was smooth but not flat.

Not
flat.

“Not flat,” she whispered as tears
rushed to her eyes.

She wasn’t bulging like a pregnant
woman ready to give birth in minutes, but her stomach had certainly changed.

It was time to talk to Jo.

Then it would be time to talk to
Thomas.

The rest of the morning Anna
touched her stomach, unable to stop. She felt her stomach bump things it never
would have a week ago and as far as her mind was concerned, she was massive now.
She worried Thomas would notice and something bad would happen.

During breakfast, she looked at Jo
and thought of something to say.

“Town,” she said “I... I’d like to
go town today.”

“Do you need supplies?” Thomas
asked.

“No,” Anna said.

“I bet your friend and sister wrote
back by now,” Jo offered, saving Anna.

“Yes,” Anna said. “Yes.”

“I hope they did,” Thomas said. “I
hope they write back.”

“I’ll go too,” Jo said. “We’ll take
Thomas Jr. with us. He could use the trip. All those teeth coming through now,
poor baby.”

“Just part of life,” Thomas said.
“He’ll be eating his mother’s great cooking soon!”

Jo insisted on helping Anna clean
up from breakfast and Anna welcomed it today, so they could get traveling as
soon as possible. As much as Anna didn’t want to admit it, she needed to be
away from Thomas for the moment to talk to Jo. To sort things out. To come to
terms with whatever waited for her.

Anna held Thomas Jr. and Jo steered
the carriage. They made it no more than a minute before Anna felt herself let
go. She cried almost with the same passion as when William divorced her and her
family started to abandon her.

“Oh, sweet Anna, you don’t need to
weep over this,” Jo said.

“I’m pregnant, Jo!” Anna cried out.
“I get it now.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m no longer very sick in the
morning, but my stomach. I can feel it, Jo.”

“That’s a blessing,” Jo said. “The
miracle of life.”

“That means I have to tell Thomas,”
Anna said.

“You get to tell Thomas something
beautiful. Something that maybe you two thought couldn’t happen. How is that
not a blessing?”

Anna looked at Jo. “I was with
William for a year. Nothing ever happened. Ever.”

It’s God’s way,” Jo said. “He does
miraculous things every day.”

“But this?” Anna asked.

“What’s troubling you about it?”

“Thomas!” Anna cried out. “Don’t
you see it, Jo?”

“See what?”

“I wrote to Thomas and explained my
inability to conceive. I feel as though I’ve cheated him. I’ve lied, without
meaning to do so.”

“And you believe Thomas doesn’t
want a bigger family?”

“At what cost?”

That question seemed to hit home.
Jo suddenly became silent. Thomas Jr. had his eyes open, looking beautiful and
happy with the world. Anna stared down at the baby and took a deep breath.

Thomas Jr. smiled.

“What did Thomas have to give up to
get this beautiful baby?” Anna asked, knowing Jo knew the answer.

“Anna...”

“What if it happens again?”

“Anna!” Jo said. “You can’t do
that.”

“I can, Jo, I can. It’s happened.
Did you see how worried Thomas got when I was sick in the mornings? And how he
worried when Thomas was teething? He’s afraid of it. Of losing more. Of...
death...”

And there it was, the truth.

And that truth lingered for a long
time on the long ride. Anna knew Jo couldn’t say a word to fix it. All her
faith and God’s will was well known, and not for a second did Anna lose faith
or even think about challenging God. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t feel
fear and worry. Not for herself, but for Thomas. When it came down to it, Anna
would give her life for her family. She would trade her life for the life
inside her. To know a baby would grow into a handsome man or beautiful woman.
The same for Thomas Jr..  She’d trade her life for his, if need be. That was
the motherly instinct Anna had began feeling the moment she saw Thomas Jr.. It
occurred to Anna then that maybe her body was allowed to conceive because of
Thomas Jr. and the miracle he was. What he meant. How he helped without knowing
it.

“Jo, what will Thomas think or do?”
Anna asked.

“He’ll be fine,” Jo said. “We’ll
all be together through this. You. Me. Thomas. Thomas Jr. too.”

“He lost his first wife,” Anna
said.

“Everyday men and woman die,” Jo
said. “Every single day. They die in accidents, they die by sicknesses, they
die naturally. Some die giving birth. Some mother’s live and their babies don’t
make it. Does that mean we should give up living? Give up trying? Worry about
death every waking second, Anna?”

“Of course not,” Anna said. “But
when you’re looking at it...”

“You’re not facing death,” Jo said.
“You have life... everywhere. You’re holding life in your arms right now. And
you’re carrying life in your womb. My goodness, Anna, you are truly blessed
right now.”

Anna paused for a minute to think
about it. As she did, she looked around her, admiring the vast land of Kansas.
She thought about being on the train to Kansas. How she knew her life would
never be the same and how she didn’t know exactly what that meant. Of all the
things that could have gone wrong, none of them did. Thomas accepted her with
strong, loving arms. Thomas Jr. accepted her with small arms and big eyes.
Everything was perfect.