What a Bear Needs (The Wild Side) (12 page)

“Maddox—”

“Is it just me or was I still speaking? I could’ve sworn I was still speaking.”

She bit the inside of her cheek.

“Right,” he continued in that same calm tone of voice. “There will be no running. No hiding. No unexpected, mystic, ninja-like disappearing acts. Last, but not least, you will not
look at me like you’re waiting for some inevitable reaction. You will not
look at me like I didn’t wrap around you last night without hesitation. And you will
not
question if I’d still maul in your name. Are we understanding one another Ms. Chayton?”

Fuck. She was going to cry. She couldn’t cry.

Maddox jostled her. “Do. We. Understand. One. Another?”

Cree simply nodded. If she spoke things would come pouring out that she wasn’t necessarily ready to unleash. Once she could manage to open her mouth without losing what little dignity she had left, she’d ask him how he managed to stay unscathed and what exactly happened once she’d done as he told her to the night before and let go.

“Your pussy introduced itself to me,” he suddenly stated, lowering her to the ground.

Her head snapped up.

Maddox’s eyes twinkled in the steadily rising light of the sun. His brow inched up slightly. “I meant your
panther
introduced itself to me.”

She frowned.

Cupping her face in his large palms, he stared at her warmly. “Cree, we ran together. We hunted
.
I worried for a second that it would try to use me as a chew toy for its own sordid amusement but it didn’t
.
All it wanted was to run; that was it.
And the very second it was satisfied, done playing, you came back.” He rubbed his thumbs beneath her eyes. “You came back just like I said you would.”

Hands trembling, she took hold of his wrists. “You did
what
?”

“We took down a deer,” he explained. “No problems, no injuries, no risk. We—”

She shook her head, halting his words. “You actually entertained it? Like it was a fucking pet?”

“Cree it wasn’t dangerous.”

“You don’t know that. I told you—”

“And I’m telling
you,”—
he interrupted, irritation clear in his voice—“that I was safe.
You were safe.
I wasn’t going to leave you and try to pick up the pieces later. I stayed because I comprehend that despite what you may think, nothing inside of you is tainted.
Nothing
.”

Believing that would be so easy; putting her stock into those words and deciding to go against years of insecurity and fear. It would be so easy to reject the notion that she couldn’t settle into a life full of love, laughter, comfort and acceptance with the too wide grizzly standing before her. But believing that left her vulnerable.

Who was to say he’d like her next surprise guest as much? Who was to say he’d keep holding her hand, wrapping around her and remaining determined to maul in her name?

You,
a small voice whispered.
You can say it.

Could she?

He brushed his knuckles beneath her chin and lifted her head. “You’re searching for a legitimate reason to doubt me. You can stop. I won’t give you one. Not now; not ever. If I have to earn you, if I have to personally slay every last one of the demons that haunt you, if I have to hold your hand through each transformation and be there when you open your eyes, I. Will
.
But what I
won’t
do is be a coward. I have many flaws that you could catch with the naked eye. Cowardice isn’t one of them. And it most certainly isn’t in me to walk away from you so you decide, love. You choose what happens next.”

 She should’ve ran then but her feet wouldn’t move. No matter how many times she gave the command to leave him behind in the same manner she’d done the morning before, Cree couldn’t make herself do it. Too many individuals struggled with the gaping loneliness she’d experienced the majority of her life and to subject herself to that again, to push away one of the strongest parts of what kept her anchored, would make
her
the coward.

Even if Maddox broke her into pieces when this was all said and done, she could at least stand in the ruins and see the parts that she hadn’t been too afraid to experience. Cree lifted a hand and held it out.

He snatched her to him with a swiftness that caused their chests to collide. His relieved breath over her head wasn’t missed nor was the quietly spoken, “Thank you” that left his lips.

Maddox brushed his mouth just over her brow. “You smell like death, baby. And as much as I adore how frighteningly adorable that is, you and I need to bathe before we find ourselves being chased by raccoons…again.”

Her brows rose.

He shook his head. “Long story. I’ll tell you later. At the moment, I’m still too disturbed to talk about it. Let’s just say that sometimes, you really
need to learn to let things go; especially when those things are in the small hands of God’s curse to nature.”

Er...okay.

***

Get her home, get her naked and get her screaming. Maddox had a goal, a plan, and an intent if you will. She’d made the conscious decision to trust him and to take that for granted would be more foolish than thinking he was fast enough to outrun the raccoons that had been harassing them hours ago. Despite her reservations, despite her insecurities and her fear, she was still giving him the benefit of the doubt. He’d open that door of opportunity and use it to his advantage until he had her exactly where he wanted her—wearing his mark and bearing whatever life they created together.

He was without any other options, any other desires; Cree simply did it for him. Whether she was completely ready to accept that, he didn’t know. But he wouldn’t allow her to shove him out. Maddox had finally gotten past that barbed wire fence cloaking her and forced his way in. Short of murder, getting him to leave wouldn’t be possible. The soft stare she kept casting him along with the way she’d slowly melted in his arms upon waking told him that homicide wasn’t in his near future. Unless of course,
he
was committing the act against whoever was stupid enough to interrupt what was about to take place the moment he crossed the threshold of her cabin.

She’d been fearful for him but she had no reason to be. Mr. Cuddles was quite nice after their run. The panther had nudged him into a sitting position and decided that it would allow him to amuse her with affectionate gestures. This was interrupted by the sharp bite Maddox had received in his shoulder from being entirely too close to a raccoon’s nest. He really hadn’t expected that said raccoon had an entire street gang ready to end his existence. Another run had proceeded and they’d had to circle back around to their original resting place after traipsing through a pond to lose the small, vicious creatures. They’d fallen asleep shortly after and before Maddox knew it, he was lying next to Cree rather than her beast. With quick work, he’d grabbed the bag of clothing he’d stashed away and got them both decent.

Smiling now, he recalled how pliant she’d been in his arms, how low her voice was and the way she’d put her nose to his jugular. If he had to destroy an entire battalion of small mammals with opposable thumbs for that privilege, he would; time and time again.

“When it
hunted—”

“
She,”
Maddox corrected in the middle of Cree’s soft question. “It was a she; and she’s apart of you.”

Cree tensed. “It
—”

“Is you
,”
he growled. “
You,
Cree. They aren’t some separate category that you can compartmentalize so that it suddenly means they’re a figment of your imagination. The sooner you accept that, the easier this all will be.”

“Oh and you know so fucking much about them?” she demanded, stopping and trying to snatch her hand out of his grasp.

He refused to release her. “I know that if I denied my bear the freedom to enjoy all the things that I do, he’d become just as anxious, just as angry and frustrated because of my refusal to hear him.”

“I’ve already explained the danger in that, Maddox.”

“You did. But have you ever stopped to question if that’s the very thing driving them to push for control? Have you ever stopped to question what would happen if you let go the same way you did last night? When’s the last time you shifted? When’s the last time you gave into something that
wasn’t
the wolf?”

He could see the wheels turning steadily. She was trying to determine how to answer him. In all the time that he’d been here, he’d seen her shift less than anyone else and even then it was only while doing the traditional pack hunt. Every full moon, Fallon led them all into what was essentially a bonding session between pack mates—he and Ransom included. They’d had only
one
memorable occurrence and that was the death of Fallon’s enemies, rogue members of the neighboring Jericho red wolves. Mason Jericho had spent the majority of his life holding onto a vendetta against the she-wolf due to her owning land that her family had rightfully won years ago. In a desperate attempt to take it back, he’d tried an ambush that ended with Ransom and Mason’s older brother —Brody—wiping him and the rest of his followers from the face of the earth. Every now and again, Brody and the others would trot across territorial lines to join in on the hunt or lend help where it was needed. The Jericho alpha had even become a part of their coveted man time at the small sports bar they frequented.

The male wolf was pleasant enough; as was his pack. Maddox had to fend off the females on more than one occasion because he refused to fill his bed with someone he’d want gone the moment he came. There was only one woman who’d managed to keep him locked in a never-ending tug of war. At the moment she was staring wide-eyed and appearing a lot more vulnerable than she’d ever been in his presence. So used to her taking swipes at him, the change in her demeanor was astounding. Oh, she still radiated a natural strength that was incomparable, but Maddox could see
her;
all of her. He liked it. He liked that her guards were down.

“Cree, have you ever even explored this?”

She swallowed, shook her head. “It’s too threatening.”

“Is it? Or are you just too afraid?”

“My mother—”

“Can’t be the only experience you draw from,” he gently stated, stopping her. “How many times did you ask for help?”

Her brows lowered.

“You never went to one of the elders? Talked to a shaman?”

She seemed to withdraw momentarily. “I wanted to but I didn’t know what to say; how to explain it without putting myself in the line of fire. When I ran without anyone coming after me that was all I needed to know.”

“Cree,” Maddox whispered. “Your hesitation is understandable but grouping yourself in with something that you aren’t even sure you’ve been genetically predisposed to could be what’s hindering your handling it.” He linked their fingers together and lifted her hand to kiss the back of it. “I meant what I said, I’ll hold your hand each time but you can’t continue putting yourself through this.”

“You’re trying to change almost sixteen years’ worth of self-doubts and misgivings in the span of a day. This
time we were lucky; this
time you didn’t get hurt. But what happens when the next beast isn’t so friendly?”

He rolled his shoulders and deadpanned, “If I fuck you into submission, maybe that’ll translate over. Truly, god-like loving does wonders; bringing man and beast together… along with pelvises…” 

Her lip curled.

“Too soon?” he queried innocently.

When she went to pull away, he tugged his hand until her chest bumped his own and then he tamped down on the growl building in his throat. Even covered in carnage, dirt and leaves, she made his cock harder than a Rubik’s cube in the hands of the colorblind. His Cree was effortlessly beautiful and all his.

Maddox found her mouth and listened to the little sigh of resignation she gave as his lips brushed over hers in a soft, tentative motion. Her shoulders dropped from their former place by her ears and he speared his free hand through her hair as he caught her bottom lip with his teeth and nipped it.

A low sound left her throat. The tone of it skirted across his skin and caused him to tremble as he deepened the kiss. She tasted like every sinfully good thing this world had to offer and he couldn’t allow that to slip through his fingers. His tongue stroked over the roof of her mouth and the moan that freed in response made him swing her up into his arms and take off in a dead run towards her cabin.

Her laughter vibrated against his throat. “What’re you doing?!”

“Getting you someplace where I can fuck you dumb!”

He took a leap over a fallen branch, shot past grazing deer and ignored the bits of rock and wood that he stepped on in his haste to get her to the nearest private room. Maddox had waited too long, had fantasized
too long, to be smooth and romantic about it. He wanted her and he wanted her
now;
finesse be damned.

Catching sight of her cabin, he stepped up his speed, listening to her amused chuckles. The weightless sound of her laughter motivated him to keep moving, to keep his forward momentum.

One…two…three…

He pushed off of the ground and landed on her porch. Twisting the knob, Maddox shoved his way through the door and headed directly towards the back after kicking it closed. He marched to her bedroom and unceremoniously sat her down on the sink of her bathroom once inside. After twisting every handle that he could on the showerheads, he stripped. His sweatpants and boxer briefs were shot-putted out of the door before he reached for Cree and snatched off her tee.

The scent of her arousal mule kicked him in the gut and Maddox had to briefly stop and breathe through his mouth so he wouldn’t lose what little rationality he had left. “Shower. Inside.”

She scooted past him and stepped into the large, glass enclosed section, immediately dipping her head under the water and grabbing hold of the soap. Maddox rummaged through her medicine cabinet until he came across a box of condoms. Checking the date, he ripped one out. Once he felt as though he had some semblance of control, he migrated away from her granite countertop—which he’d been gripping strongly—and towards the siren’s call of her unclothed form. He sat the condom on the caddy hanging nearby. His fingers trailed over her shoulders as he moved in behind her. When she leaned into him, he pulled back and heard her frustrated groan.