What God Has For Me (8 page)

“The Bishop brothers are good men. Too bad
there aren’t more of them. Even though Michael got caught up with
that hussy, the Holy Ghost within him fought that spiritual battle
to get him out of the web of sin before he got in deeper and there
wouldn’t have been a point of return.

“Michael said it was his love for me that
slapped him in the face. Of course, I added to that slap in the
pastor’s office,” Desi snickered. “How embarrassing, but I did
apologize. Anyway, praise Jesus that He pieced our marriage back
together. Now, we’re a united front and each other’s keeper.
Whether customers are women or new hires, I let them know
indirectly or directly that when it comes to my husband, I’m not
their friend. Mickey does the same thing when he thinks men are
trying to hit on me. We know we have a good thing…”

Desi was on a roll. She and Michael had
become like poster children to protect marriages by any extreme
measures necessary. What kind of poster would she be? Halcyon
wanted “Survivor” printed on a T-shirt.

“Well, something else happened today before I
went to work.” She paused, trying to gather all the nuances of that
moment. “God actually spoke to me.”

“What happened?” Desi asked hesitantly.

“Sis, the Lord’s presence was so overwhelming
that I started babbling about how sorry I was and before long, it
seemed like I had repented for everything since I was in diapers up
to my current sins.”

“He loves you,” Desi whispered.

Halcyon frowned at her sister’s train of
thought. “I’m not talking about Zach right now. Stay with me, Desi.
I’m talking about what happened between me and God.”

“That’s who I’m talking about… Jesus. Do you
know how many people don’t get a chance to repent before they die?
Yet, God visited you and gave you a chance to confess your
indiscretions.” Desi started to shout Hallelujahs.

Her praise prompted Halcyon to lift her hands
as tears streamed down her cheeks. Spiritually, she was clueless
about what was going on in her life. But something told her, things
were about to change and she’d better be ready for them.

Halcyon had come to a decision. Why she was nervous
about attending church didn’t make sense. She had already repented,
so it wasn’t as if God was going to beat her up or send lightning
down to strike her. Still, she would be a prodigal daughter, and
Halcyon wasn’t sure how she would be received.

I have loved you with an everlasting
love,
God whispered.
Read Jeremiah 31:3.

Ashanti was beside herself with excitement.
Although her daughter had gone with her mother and Granny Rose to
church before, Halcyon always felt guilty sending her daughter when
she wouldn’t go.

“Can I bring my coloring books, Mommy?”
Ashanti’s expression was so hopeful.

“No, sweetie. There won’t be a table for you
to color on. I guess I need to get you a children’s Bible.”

Grinning, she jumped up and down. “Are we
going to get one now?”

“Not today, but next time, okay?”

Judging from Ashanti’s pout and folded arms,
next time wasn’t okay. As far as Halcyon was concerned, her
daughter better be glad that she had decided to go. Halcyon had
tossed and turned all night, debating whether she could pick up the
pieces and reconnect with God instantly as if she hadn’t
disappointed God.

Once she dressed her children, Ashanti in a
soft pink dress and white sandals and Jonathan in a navy blue
jacket and white shorts, Halcyon scanned the clothes in her closet
again—pathetic. She still had two suits, casual skirts and stretch
jeans. As soon as she could afford it, Halcyon would add to her
collection. One thing she dared not do was complain about a lack of
funds. Her family would harp on her about taking Scott to court for
child support.

Scott.
She and the children surely had
become nothing more than a memory to him. Jonathan didn’t know his
father, but Ashanti did have memories and questions had surfaced
without any prompting from her.

“Mommy, is Daddy coming to visit me today?”
Ashanti had asked repeatedly when she first moved back home.

Of course, it didn’t help that Halcyon would
call Scott and let Ashanti put him on the spot. Their daughter
would chat away. But judging from the one sided conversation, he
never seemed to ask questions, or give Ashanti answers to hers.

Although Halcyon had told Scott she would
never keep him from his children, he hadn’t made an effort. What
had she seen in him, besides the fact that he was charming,
good-looking and had a great job? Now that he was married, she
doubted things would change. His wife already had a child for him
to play daddy to.

So in the end, it was up to her to provide
answers to Ashanti’s questions. “No, sweetie.” Halcyon didn’t offer
an explanation as her heart sank for her daughter’s loss of being a
“daddy’s little girl.”

Enough
. Halcyon blinked. She rose
early enough to go to church. “I have to move forward, not relive
the past, right?” she asked herself.

Walk upright before Me, and I’ll withhold
nothing good from you,
the Lord answered.
Read My Word in
Psalm 84
.

Evidently God was listening. Before she could
relish in being in the Lord’s presence, Jonathan screamed his
displeasure at his sister. Once Halcyon brokered a peace deal for
them to share a book, she grabbed her suit and got dressed.

The uncertainty about attending faded away as
Halcyon crossed the threshold to the Rapture Ready Church. It had
been her childhood church that she hadn’t set foot in since Desi
married Michael and that had been almost five years ago. What had
held her back was her fear that those who knew her from when she
was a teenager would turn up their noses at her for her lifestyle
choices. But that didn’t happen.

The feeling of unexplainable peace seemed to
engulf her, making her feel like she belonged and had never left.
Although there were many new members, the older saints who she
remembered seemed to recognize her right away. They embraced her
with tight hugs and
ooh
ed and
ahh
ed over her
children.

“I’m so glad to see you, chile. It’s been a
while. You’ve been missed.”

Here it comes, a tongue lashing.
Halcyon groaned inwardly.

“We’re one in the body of Christ. When one
part of our body is injured or severed like a small toe, the whole
body feels the pain, whether it’s physically, emotionally, or
spiritually injured.” She stepped back and squeezed her shoulders.
“But you’re here and on the mend now.”

There is no condemnation of them who walk
with Me and not after the flesh,
God whispered and flashed
Romans 8:1 before her spiritual eyes.

“Thank you.” She sniffed. “Mother Kimble,
you’re going to make me cry.”

“Well, you just go ahead. I’ve got plenty of
tissues in my purse. I just got it off the roll in the
bathroom.”

Halcyon was instantly sober. No telling if
that roll was in the stall or on a counter. “Do you know where the
Bishops are sitting?”

“Sho nuff.” Mother Kimble waved for an usher,
then told her what section to take her. “Don’t stay gone so long,
sugar. See you next week.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Halcyon said and waved
goodbye.

The stunned looks on everybody’s faces at
seeing her there, except Desi’s, were picture worthy. Granny Rose
lifted her hand in the air and mouthed something to God. Zachary’s
surprised look gave way to a smile as he got to his feet and
relieved her arms of a squirming Jonathan. He inched back into the
pew, forcing Michael and the others to scoot down and make
room.

“Hi, Uncle Zach,” Ashanti whispered and
grinned, vying for his attention since he had Jonathan in his arms.
“See my dress?”

He kissed Ashanti’s nose. “I do and you look
as beautiful as your mother.” He playfully tickled her stomach and
made her giggle.

“You and the children look incredible,” he
complimented Halcyon before kissing her cheek.

She blushed despite the fact that she didn’t
have on anything new. Yet his compliments always empowered her.
“You’ve seen me in this before.” She nudged his shoulder.

“You can’t be beautiful unless you’re wearing
different clothes? Recognize your worth, Miss Holland. Your beauty
is more than skin deep.”

“You’re making it real hard for me to fight
your charm,” she whispered as someone walked to the podium and
began to read the announcements.

Zachary shifted Jonathan in his arms, then
kissed the top of her son’s head. Her heart captured the caring
moment and she wanted to cry. Despite the chemistry between her and
Zachary, plus the love he professed, Halcyon needed time to make
sure any romantic feelings she had toward Zachary were genuine and
not on the rebound, because she was desperate for attention and
Zachary was giving her plenty of it. She had to be sure this
time.

“Good morning, church,” Pastor Reed nipped
into Halcyon’s wandering mind. He welcomed visitors and asked them
to stand; Zachary cheered her on. To keep from being further
embarrassed, she got to her feet. When Halcyon took her seat, she
stuck out her tongue. Zachary winked.

When the pastor announced the passage for his
Sunday sermon, Halcyon couldn’t believe she had left the Bible she
had been reading at home. Zachary offered to share his, although
she knew he could use the Bible app on his phone.

“Without a trial, there is no testimony,”
Pastor Reed began. “Jesus is our example in John 19. Even though
God was wrapped in the flesh as Jesus, the flesh suffered cancer,
diabetes, stab and gunshot wounds. Whatever diseases and
circumstances that would cause the flesh’s demise, Christ suffered
it all so that we could share in His testimony. Whatever your
trials are now, have been, or will come, it’s in God’s plan that
you will survive so that you can give a testimony…”

Was God speaking directly to her?
she
wondered. When the sermon concluded, the altar call was given to
anyone who had repented to come and receive the baptism of water
and the Holy Ghost in Jesus’ name.

Granny Rose reached over Zachary and
whispered to her, “After the pastor dismisses, we’ll go to his
office where you’ll have his undivided attention and he can pray
for you.”

“I need it,” she admitted. “I know the Lord
reclaimed my life after I confessed my sins, but I don’t totally
feel…” She didn’t how to describe her spiritual state.

Zachary hugged her. “Take one day at a time.
Each day, you’ll find yourself spiritually stronger, if you spend
more time in prayer and get a steady dose of God’s Word.”

Once the baptismal session was over and the
offering taken, Pastor Reed gave the benediction. Family members
pushed Zachary aside to get to her as if she were some type of
celebrity. “There’s still hope. Two down, only one to go,” her
mother said, lifting her hand, referring to Tracey who wasn’t in
attendance. While squeezing her tightly, she whispered, “You’re
going to be all right and my grandbabies too… Zachary will make
sure of that.”

Halcyon tensed. When it came to multi-tasking
for her children, she could do it with her eyes closed. But she
wasn’t equipped emotionally to focus on God and Zachary at the same
time.

“C’mon, baby. Let’s get to Pastor Reed’s
office.” Granny Rose commandeered her arm and steered her out the
sanctuary with more speed than Halcyon knew her petite grandmother
possessed. “I’m happy you came today and brought my
great-grands.”

Inside the church office, Pastor and First
Lady Reed greeted her with open arms. Then her children stole the
show. Ashanti sucked up the attention.

“Sister Holland, God doesn’t intend to lose
one soul He has redeemed, but the choice is ours. You made that
choice when you came today. I don’t know the circumstances between
you and your children’s father, but we are closer to the end than
we were this morning. If you want to continue your relationship
with their father, then he must repent and be baptized in Jesus’
name and pray for Jesus to fill him with the Holy Ghost. Then I’ll
be more than happy to marry you.”

“He’s already married,” Halcyon said in a
soft voice.

First Lady Reed sucked in her breath, but
didn’t say anything. Pastor Reed’s expression didn’t change. Then
Halcyon realized how she phrased that. “Ah, I didn’t fool around
with a married man. Some sins, I just can’t commit, but we did live
together until I got pregnant with Jonathan. I moved out when I
realized he wasn’t going to marry me.” She swallowed. The rejection
still hurt. “I heard he recently got married to another woman, so
there will be no reconciliation between us.”

He nodded. “I see,” he said while his wife
seemingly relaxed in her chair. “And God has a blessing for you
too. You have a strong support system around you. Make sure you’re
faithfully attending church and reading your Bible.”

Pastor Reed’s consultation concluded less
than thirty minutes later, then he offered her prayer. “Oh Father
God, in the mighty name of Jesus, we thank You for our daughter
returning to the fold in the nick of time before Your return. We
thank You for forgiving and forgetting her sins, according to Micah
7:18-19. Lord, help her to press on and stay faithful to You, in
Jesus’ name. Amen.”

Later that evening, Halcyon called Desi. She
was still blown away with how God, others and even church members
easily accepted her return. “I can’t believe salvation is so
simple.”

“I know. We’re the ones who make it
complicated.” They chatted until their children began to whine.
Halcyon went to bed, believing that prayer really did change things
and she was more determined to reacquaint herself with the
Word.

The next morning, Halcyon began her workweek
ready, even with sleeping bags for the children.