What God Has For Me (9 page)

She had barely gotten settled at her desk
when Paisley strolled in
ooh
ing and
ahh
ing over the
children. Jonathan ate up the attention. Ashanti wanted nothing to
do with the woman and ran to Halcyon’s side.

“Morning, I was hoping we could have lunch
and get to know each other,” Paisley stated as if it wasn’t an
invitation, but a demand.

“I’m sorry, I’m eating peanut butter and
jelly sandwiches with my babies today,” she said, then turned to
get to work.

Zachary wasn’t going to let Halcyon win this battle
as he leaned on the corner of her desk, interrupting her from doing
what he paid her to do. He couldn’t help himself. Halcyon was
already pretty, but since returning to church the previous week,
the woman was glowing. “It’s your birthday, Bridget, and I want to
take you shopping. My treat.”

“You’ve already treated me, Zach. This
position, the flexibility, the benefits… Plus, the best gift I
could ever have is those two sleeping over there.” Halcyon pointed
to the twin cots on the play area side of the room. He had ordered
them online, and they were delivered yesterday.

Halcyon stated that she didn’t need anything,
but he did, and Zachary was staring at her. “Hiring you was
business. This is personal. Haven’t you learned anything about us
Bishop men? We’re determined.”

“Yes, you and Michael are.” Rolling her eyes,
Halcyon finally conceded after they’d been going back and forth for
a while. “All right. Take me to the dollar store.”

Right.
Zachary wasn’t a shopper by any
means. He preferred to drive up to the door of the store, walk
inside and leave less than twenty minutes later with his purchases.
But for Halcyon, he would endure a shopping spree to pamper
her.

On Saturday morning, Zachary bypassed Dollar
General Store, grinning at Halcyon while en route to Taubman
Prestige Outlets, one of West County’s newest outdoor malls. He
parked in the lot and came around and helped Halcyon out first,
then the children in the back seat.

“Let the shopping begin,” he shouted
excitedly, which prompted Ashanti to clap and her brother to mimic.
“They have quite a few stores here. I’m sure we can find something
you like.”

“I’m sure they will have a lot of things I’d
like,” she mumbled as she stared at the entrance to the walkway
that actually divided the shops.

Despite Jonathan’s protest to be set free,
Zachary kept a steady hold on him in his arms. Ashanti latched on
to Halcyon and began to skip ahead, pulling her mother.

“Let’s find a t-o-y store to get them some—”
Halcyon spelled out the word.

“Not today.” Zachary shook his head. “This is
about you, Bridget.”

He knew she liked him calling her by her
middle name whenever she angled her head and smiled like now. “I
was thinking something small they can carry in their hands to
occupy them.”

“Nope.” Zachary was concerned that once he
got the children in there, it would be a disaster trying to get
them out. Plus, Halcyon would be content watching them enjoy
themselves, probably hoping he would forget about her. A double
nope.

Zachary’s compromise was to park the three on
a bench while he went inside. He plucked up a miniature plastic
race car for Jonathan and a mini cloth doll for Ashanti. He
returned and handed them their gifts. “Problem solved. Let’s
go.”

“Smooth. Real smooth, Mr. Bishop.” Halcyon
chuckled, then unexpectedly reached for his hand, linking her
fingers through his.

He couldn’t help but give her a questioning
look, even though he wasn’t complaining. “Is this step one toward
us?” he kept his voice low as they crossed the threshold of bebe’s
clothing store, activating the customer buzzer.

“Maybe.” Halcyon shrugged. “My thoughts are
still being processed, but you’re hard to resist.”

“That’s good to know,” he said with a jolt of
confidence. The sales associate greeted them at the entrance and
asked how she could help. “We’re updating her wardrobe, so any
assistance you can give us, would be great,” Zachary didn’t give
Halcyon time to say a word.

When she squinted and squeeze her lips with
an attitude, he whispered close to her ear, “Don’t even think about
making a scene. This is my birthday gift to you.”

For the next hour or so, Halcyon breezed in
and out the dressing room, modeling everything the sales woman
brought to her. The children clapped enthusiastically when they
were wowed. Zachary kept silent and visually feasted on the colors
that complemented Halcyon’s skin tone and curves. They could do
this, he and Halcyon could make “them” work, and the children
completed the package.

When it came time to choose, that’s when the
battle of wills kicked in. Zachary closed the distance between
them. “Halcyon,” he began, meaning business. “Let me spend my money
as I see fit, which is to treat you like a lady. Fight me on this
and I’ll kiss you like I want to.” Zachary looked at her lips. He
almost wanted her to protest, so he could administer his
punishment.

Stepping back, she held up her free hand in
surrender and placed the garments draped over her arms on the
counter. “Thank you,” she whispered with misty eyes. “I don’t think
you would, but I feel like you’re trying to buy my love. I’m not
use to this treatment.”

“I can’t buy your love, Bridget. I already
have it.” With that, he turned to the cashier, who seemed to be
amused by their tit-for-tat, and whipped out his wallet and handed
the woman his card to proceed. “We’ll take these items.”

Although Halcyon was quiet throughout the
transaction, she blinked when the bill came to
one-hundred-and-ninety-something dollars. Zachary thought three
skirts, four tops, two pair of slacks and one hot dress for them to
go to dinner and dancing, was worth it.

When they strolled out the store, Halcyon
leaned in to him. “You make it hard for a woman not to love you,”
she joked as she scooped up Jonathan in her arms to keep him from
wandering off.

“Then love me.” Zachary said softly and
opened his arms and with no reluctance, she walked into them. He
squeezed her, inhaling the fragrance of her hair. The moment was
too brief as Ashanti patted his leg wanting in on the fun.

Smiling down at the girl, Zachary lifted her
into his arms for an impromptu group hug. It had been a good choice
to take her shopping. It seemed like each minute, she was yielding
to her feelings.

“Let’s grab lunch.” Leading them toward the
food court, which consisted of a handful of vendors, they decided
on Taviani’s Italian food, so the children could enjoy pizza.

Halcyon and the children settled at a table
while Zachary ordered. When he returned with the trays and
dispersed the food, Ashanti begged to say grace.

With her hands folded, and head bowed,
Ashanti prayed, “Jesus, thank You for pizza and my Mommy and Uncle
Zach and my baby brother. Amen.” She grinned, then reached for her
slice.

After a while, the children began to play
with their food, leaving unfinished slices, despite Halcyon’s
warnings to eat. Zachary scooted closer to Halcyon. “So where do we
go from here?”

“Absolutely nowhere.” Halcyon frowned.
“You’ve bought me enough, don’t you think?”

“I wasn’t talking about shopping, Bridget, I
mean us.” Zachary rubbed his mustache as he watched her
expressions. She was beautiful without trying.

“Mommy, why does Uncle Zach always call you,
Bridget?” Ashanti asked with food in her mouth.

“Because she’s special to me,” Zachary cut
in, “just like you and Jonathan. I love you all.”

Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Ashanti
reached for her kiddie cup of juice.

Elbowing Zachary in the side, Halcyon mumbled
under her breath, “Stop trying to butter up my children.”

He grunted. “They know I love them,” then
turned to Jonathan and Ashanti. “Don’t you?” When Zachary got the
response he wanted, he grinned victoriously. “See, told ya.”

They were in no rush to leave as long as the
children didn’t become antsy. Finally, Halcyon suggested they head
out when Jonathan began to nod.

Zachary gathered the trash as Halcyon wiped
sticky mouths and hands. She opted to carry Jonathan while Zachary
picked up the shopping bags. When he noticed Ashanti looked like
she was about to fall asleep too in any minute, he lifted her in
one arm.

Once outside, they strolled down the walkway
that would lead to the parking lot. Suddenly, Ashanti got a second
wind and began chatting away. Zachary listened, but was suddenly
distracted as he zeroed in on one person coming their
way—Scott.

There was no mistaking the man’s proud walk.
He had a woman beside him and a young boy between them, who looked
to be about six years old. This most likely was his new family. It
might not be official yet, but Zachary had his family right
alongside him too.

Evidently, Halcyon hadn’t seen Scott as she
shifted Jonathan to her other shoulder. He knew the exact moment
when she spotted them, because she almost stumbled in her steps,
but Zachary’s steady grip saved her and Jonathan from falling.

Of all the shopping areas in St. Louis, why
this one, this day and this time?
Without a test, there is no
testimony
, Zachary remembered the phrase from one of Pastor
Reed’s recent sermons.

He wasn’t anticipating a scene. Scott never
respected Halcyon enough to fight for her. What he was concerned
about was how she felt about seeing her ex. Zachary prayed and
began a countdown of when their paths would cross.

Jesus, help her, please.
Now, Ashanti
was looking straight ahead as well.
Ten, nine, eight
…
Zachary paused, then resumed…
seven, six
….

The expression on Scott’s face when he
recognized Halcyon was priceless—he was stunned. He appeared unsure
of how to react. His wife, on the other hand appeared clueless
about their identities.

They were about to intersect…
three…
two…
Ashanti squirmed in his arms as she pointed to her father.
Zachary braced himself for her to call out, and put them all in an
uncomfortable situation, but the unexpected happened.

Ashanti simply waved as they passed, then
rested her head on his chest. Zachary snuggled her closer as he
heard Scott’s wife say, “What a pretty little girl.” He nodded at
Scott, while Halcyon looked straight ahead.

For a tenth of a second, the tension was as
stiff as Jell-O. “Are you okay?” he whispered as they got closer to
his SUV. He could tell the encounter had shaken Halcyon up a bit,
even though she nodded. Zachary wished they were alone, so he could
wrap her in his arms to soothe, pray for or kiss her. Whatever it
took to comfort her, Zachary was willing.

Once he got behind the wheel and clicked his
seatbelt, Zachary’s heart ached as he watched Halcyon’s head bow.
“Out of sight, out of mind is overrated. I thought I was over him
and I had moved on, but seeing him—happy with a family—made me
flash back to all the hurt I’ve tried to overcome.”

Glancing over his shoulder, Zachary checked
on the children—both were asleep.

When she looked at him, her eyes were glazed
over. Zachary hoped she wouldn’t start crying. “Do you think he’ll
want custody or visitation now that he sees that I’m happy?”

He turned the ignition, but didn’t attempt to
drive off as he stared at Halcyon. “Are you… happy—really?”

“Yes. I was…I mean I am, but that doesn’t
stop me from hurting. The blame is on me. I allowed him to use
me.”
 “Baby,” he reached for her hand and squeezed it. “You could
allow me to abuse you, but I never would. Just because you gave
Scott full access to your emotions, doesn’t give him the right to
play with you. You both shared in what went wrong in that
relationship. Halcyon Bridget Holland, you are one of the strongest
Black women I know. You knew when to get out while some women stay
in unhealthy situations for years. Give yourself some credit—you’re
a renewed creature in Christ. The past is just that. The more you
walk with Jesus, the farther away you’ll be from the hurt.”

“I hear you… I just wish it would stick and
sink in.” She paused. “His wife complimented his own daughter and
Scott didn’t say a word. Does she know about us or not?”

“That’s his drama. Not ours.” He shifted the
gear into drive, checked his rearview mirror, and drove off toward
Halcyon’s house. “Scott can be a part of the children’s lives, only
if he respects you, but he will no longer control your happiness.
That’s when I step in, and I’ll deal with him.”

He loves me, he loves me not
, was the old game
that popped into Halcyon’s mind when she saw Scott. In that short
space of time in the hemisphere, she had a man who loved her and
she did love him back, and the man who never loved her. And thanks
to a “Scott sighting,” her day went downhill from the there.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t expected to see or
hear from him again in her lifetime, but it had been a year. So why
now when she was starting to convince herself it was okay to love
again?
Life wasn’t fair!

Scott hadn’t called to check on the children,
or even sent her a text to say he was getting married, and
therefore moving on. Tracey was the one who saw the announcement in
the
St. Louis American
, a Black weekly newspaper. Halcyon
had cried then and she thought that was the end of it. Profanity
was threatening to escape to release her frustration. She twisted
her lips, trying to contain herself.

You cannot curse and still bless Me,
God whispered.
Read James 3.

The rebellion in her mouth seemed to calm
down, but the urge was still present. She wished she had a Bible
app on her phone, but she kept forgetting to install it. Plus, she
preferred turning pages in her Bible.