What Might Have Been (5 page)

“I want to make love to you, Macy.”

At the word ‘love’, her brain shut down and her body took over. She’d let herself get too damn close to true emotion. No more. “Fuck me.”

Tanner tore the tunic up over her head and tossed it somewhere out of her line of sight. Her nipples pebbled under his intense azure gaze and heat flooded between her thighs. She tipped her head back to succumb to his kiss. He nibbled along her jaw, his day-old whiskers abrading her cheek. He caressed her backside. “I want to take you everywhere.”

The longer his hands lingered on her ass, the more she wondered what he meant by ‘everywhere’. Something in his voice alluded to deliciously wicked things she’d tried many times, but would never have thought he’d enjoy. She gyrated against him to relieve a hint of the need overwhelming her senses.

His dick, long and hot, jabbed her lower belly. Macy fumbled with the buttons of his shirt and exposed his rippled chest, inch by glorious inch. Her mouth ran dry as she pressed her lips to his taut muscle and kissed the calligraphic
Connolly
tattoo over his heart. The letters swirled and tangled, almost like a web to protect him. She moaned and bit down. A man didn't get a body full of lean strength like this by working out at the gym. No, his kind of muscle came from working outdoors. The scent of his cologne—something woodsy—flowed over her like a lazy river.

“Yes, babe.” His fingers dug into her ass, not that she cared. “Take what you want from me and make me yours.”

She nipped his pec, leaving a love bite. At least he’d have something to remember her by.

“Fuck, that feels good. I need you.” Tanner tugged her into his arms and nestled her against the cool metal of the door. “Can’t wait.”

Before she realised what had happened, the sound of her skirt tearing echoed in the room. Her skirt pooled around her ankles, leaving her in nothing but her bra, cotton panties, and her boots. The remaining buttons from his shirt pinged off the wall and landed on the floor with a series of small thumps. She gasped. Tanner loomed over her like a Greek statue come to life. And he wanted her!

Macy popped the button on his jeans and slid the zipper past his steely length. At least four inches of his cock poked out through the gap in his boxer shorts and a pearl of moisture glistened on the blunt, red tip. She licked her lips. Never in a million years would she have expected them to be this caught up in the moment.

“Oh no, babe, you can taste next time.” Tanner produced a condom from his wallet and threw the billfold to his feet. “Right now, I won’t last. I need you. Now.”

Macy snorted.
If you want something done
… She tore the foil packet and flicked it to the floor. “I’ll do it.” Curling her fingers around his length, she unrolled the latex.

“You’re still pushy. I like it.” He shoved her panties to the side and teased her swollen outer lips with the crown of his penis. “So wet.”

She shuddered and wrapped her arms around his neck. Realisation swept over her in tidal wave proportions. She was about to have sex with the man who embodied her dirtiest fantasies.

Tanner dragged her from her feet and pinned her between his body and the door. For a split second, he stared deep into her eyes, almost as if he saw into her soul—saw the hurt and the depression she tried so hard to hide. Only a faint ring of blue showed around his pupils. What would he look like if he told her he loved her? Would this be what she saw every night?

Every night… She clamped her teeth together. Was it possible to settle down? She’d lived on her own for so long. Coming home to his warm arms and scintillating kisses sounded better than fine. It sounded perfect. She shook her head and grasped his cock. Time to think about less dangerous things—like feeling him move within her.

 
“Tanner.” Macy arched her hips, drawing him towards her body. “Make love to me.”

As he entered her pussy, he stretched her to her limits. Would he fit? She bit down hard on her bottom lip. A bead of sweat slid between her breasts.

Despite the initial pressure, the slow rhythm he built when he pushed into her felt heavenly—like coming home.

She whimpered in his arms, meeting him thrust for thrust. If a girl could lose herself in his power and maleness, then let her be lost for a long, long time. Well, at least until the morning.

“Fuck, yes, Macy.” His fingers bit into her ass as he increased his speed. “You’re so tight.”

Something deep inside her splintered as a warm rush surged through her veins. No turning back now. No changing her mind, not that she wanted to—he felt too damn good.

“Come with me, Macy. Tell me you like this.” His actions became jerky and he pistoned in and out of her body. His cock twitched and his voice dropped to a growl. “Tell me you want me.”

“I want you, Tanner.” She gasped and clawed his shoulders as the orgasm tugged her under. Even through the condom, she felt his hot seed fill her. “Yes, Tanner. Yes.”

For one of the few times in her life, her heart and her body met in agreement—blissful, blessed agreement.

Tanner gulped air to catch his breath. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined being in a hotel room, fucking Macy Shibley against the door. He had more restraint than that, didn’t he? His jeans bunched at his ankles and her almost-bare body pressed against the exit. Apparently not. A twinge of embarrassment whirled through his brain. God, she must think he was just a horny man bent on his own satisfaction.

If she didn’t kick him out, he’d spend the rest of the evening, and hell, the next day, making it up to her. Screw the reunion. He’d found what he’d come looking for—her.

Once he’d set her on her feet, he yanked his jeans up over his hips. Macy stood slumped against the door with a glazed look in her eyes. “That was…whoa.”

Tanner scooped her limp body into his arms and kissed her temple. “It was pretty ‘whoa’ for me, too.” He placed her on the bed, careful to treat her like a queen. “Wait here. I want to indulge you and then make love to you again and again.”

He strode into the bathroom and twisted the knob on the spa tub for a long, hot soak. He’d plundered her, now he needed to prove he wanted more from her than a good time. He’d goofed around before and let her go, now he wanted a lifetime. Words he’d never expected to think surfaced in his mind.
I love you.
Was it too soon? Hell, he wasn’t sure of anything other than he needed to be inside her, and complete.

When he ambled back into the main room, he found Macy huddled in the comforter, tugging off her boots. And hell, yes, he loved those fuck-me boots. Once she’d finished, she watched him with rapt attention. Her blue eyes sparkled—in anticipation? Desire? He wasn’t sure.

“Cold?”

“A little.”

“I’ll warm you, sweetheart.” Tanner held out his hand. “What else? I know something’s brewing in that gorgeous head of yours. Why don’t you let me help you work out that stress?”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.” She stood and offered little resistance as he drew her into the bathroom.

“I want to pry, but I’ll let it slide this time.” He unclasped the front of her bra, releasing her breasts. Her rosy nipples hardened in the chilly air. As he worked her panties down past her hips, he planted a kiss on her stomach and rolled his tongue over the barbell in her navel. “And I owe you however many pairs of panties it’ll take to make up for ripping your clothes.” He shoved the mountain of towels aside and kicked out of his jeans, socks, and cowboy boots. “I want you to relax with me.”

Macy swiped a hair clip from the counter and piled her hair on top of her head, out of his grasp. When she stepped into the oversized tub, she sat down and reached for the shower gel. “I don’t think I’ll ever relax. I don’t know how. Ask anyone who knows me well. It’s a running gag. Will hated my inability to loosen up.”

“Enough about him. He’s enough to make anyone tense.” Tanner eased into the steamy water opposite her and took the bottle from her hand. Will be damned. The bastard wasn’t going to ruin any more of Macy’s time. “Let me take care of you, sweetheart.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. His stomach flip-flopped. He yearned to explore every dip and swell of her body, learning his lover inch by inch. From the tiny piercing in her navel, to the dusting of freckles across her collar bone, down to the birthmark on the back of her right knee—good God, she was beautiful.

“And you said I was pushy.” She folded her arms under her breasts, pushing the creamy globes towards him. “Some women don’t want to be told what to do. They’d rather be in charge.”

“I’m only pushy with women I’m attracted to and want to be with for more than a quickie.” He lathered the washcloth and smoothed the bubbles over her chest, pleased when her nipples grew turgid once more. “I can’t get enough of you and if you want to order me around, then I’m game.” He’d had no idea she could be dominating, but hot damn, he liked it.

“Where’d you get that line from?” The corner of her mouth curled into a lazy smile. “It sounds corny.”

“Your book.” He dipped his head to meet her gaze, unsure what she thought about him reading her books. “But I wouldn’t say you sound corny. You’re good.” When she didn’t reply, he continued and parted his legs to draw her to him. “Your books are steamy. And before you give me attitude, yes, I’ve read your stuff.”

She rested her hands on his chest, splaying her fingers over his pecs, including the calligraphic
Connolly
over his heart. “Last time I checked, you only read books about football and the Marines. What makes my work irresistible to you? Or do you get off on demanding women?”

Tanner rubbed his nose along her temple, breathing in her soft, feminine scent. The words weren’t irresistible. She was. Fifteen years, and frantic sex against the door had done nothing to quell his need for Macy.

After a moment to gather his bearings, Tanner created bubbles on the washcloth. “
Kendall
was a Marine story.” He sluiced water over her stomach and caressed her inner thigh. Her lips parted on a sigh and kicked his desire up another notch.

“It was.” Her eyelids fluttered shut. “I had to do a lot of research for him.”

“And I believe he played football before he left for the service.” He tossed the washcloth aside and turned her around in his arms. Tanner kissed the back of her neck and rubbed the tense muscles of her shoulders.

“God, that feels so good. You got me—” She shivered and rested the back of her head against his chin “—in the palm of your hand.”

When he’d finished working the tension out of her shoulders, she took the discarded cloth from the decking around the tub and added extra gel. Her gaze didn’t quite meet his when she rubbed the terry-cloth fabric over his pecs.

“Do I have you, Mace?”
Because I want you more than anything. I’d give my company and my last dollar to make you mine.
“I want you for more than a few hours.”

“Tanner.” She shrank away from him and retreated to the opposite end of the tub. “You’re asking for a lot in a short period of time.”

“Hear me out, sweetheart.” Tanner scooted across the expanse. “I need to share my story with you so you understand how I feel and why I feel this way.” He placed a finger over her lips and stilled her hands. “Being with you is something I never thought would happen, but I’d never trade our time together. I care for you more than I believed possible and I want a little longer with you.”

He cuddled her close, wrapping her legs around his torso and kissing her pussy with his cock. “All through high school, I casually dated because I thought I didn’t want to be tied down. Play the field, score, and move on before hearts were involved. Then you showed interest and I realised I wanted something more than a one-off date or friendship with you. It just took more than a few hard tackles to figure things out.”

“A few?”

“When you boil me down, I’m really a relationship kind of guy. But my asshole friends convinced me to partner up with Faith instead.” When she snorted, he chuckled. “Yeah, not my best move. Not only did she follow me like a puppy, I found out that all the time she claimed to love me, she also happened to be fucking half the football team behind my back.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was tinged with sadness and her mouth pulled down into a frown.

“No need.” Tanner smoothed her hair off her forehead, taken by the way her breathing hitched as he touched her. “After I blew out my knee in the bowl game versus Northwestern in college, I had a lot of rehab time to think. I mean, Jesus, I was supposed to be the next best thing to hit the NFL, and I’d fucked it up trying to make a play that even God himself couldn’t make. I wanted to curl into a ball for a while and mope, but I didn’t. Want to know why?”

“Sure.” She drew the word out. “Why didn’t you give up?”

Time to unload the true contents of his heart. “Mace, I saw a picture of you on the internet—one of those social network sites. That jerk, Will, never realised what a gem he had and how jealous I was.” Images of her through the past fifteen years overloaded his brain. Each smile had imprinted itself on his permanent memory. She was the type of woman a man kept—the type he wanted to settle down with and love. “All the times I wanted to pick up the phone to ask your mom where you lived so I could… I don’t know, ask you out or try to talk to you. I was an ass, but you moved on with grace.”

“I had no other choice.” She twined her arms around his neck. “I lived my life.”

“Without finding out what might have been if we’d hooked up.” God, it hurt to admit the truth. At the same time, the weight of uncertainty he’d carried melted away. “I started Connolly Incorporated to do something worthy with my life, something permanent I could leave to my children.”

“Your children.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Tanner, how was I to know you cared? Last I knew, you weren’t interested.”

“You couldn’t know, and that’s a mistake I have to live with.” He gulped air, waiting for her response. She could embrace his apology and thinly-veiled suggestion, or tell him to go to hell. He hoped for the former.

She traced his bottom lip with her index finger. A mischievous light sparkled in her eyes. “Then redeem yourself and make love to me.”