What Might Have Been (2 page)
“I think we need to get drinks. Mace looks parched.”
Snapped back to reality, Macy flicked her gaze to Berto. “Cola, please. No ice.”
“Yes, a drink would be great.” Remi winked at Macy before he and Berto strolled away. Tanner toyed with the plastic cup in his hands, running his index finger over the condensation on the side.
Although she fought the good fight, she still lost and allowed her gaze to wander down his body. The last fifteen years had been kind to him, if not downright wonderful. The navy button-down shirt encased his broad chest and smooth muscles like a second skin. Even the faded denim hugged his toned thighs, leaving little to the imagination. If she remembered correctly, he had a tattoo of his football number on his right calf—seventeen.
“Like what you see?”
“I was being impolite.” Macy snorted. Damn, he’d noticed her visual groping. “But yeah, you measure up—mostly.”
“I should be hurt, but I’m not.” Tanner chuckled. His azure eyes flashed and his lips kinked into a broad smile. “I’ll bet you wonder why Remi brought me over here and then took off.”
“No, they like to stir the pot. I expected something like this.” Few men besides Berto and Remi ever paid her much attention. What made Tanner suddenly so interested in her? “Did they sweet-talk you with details of my work or my reputation? In their minds, I’m legendary.”
As Tanner opened his mouth, the song on the stereo system gained volume. He frowned and leant forward. Macy caught the scent of his cologne—or was it his aftershave?—either way, she didn’t care. He smelt of pine and spice. A tremor ran up her spine. His breath warmed her cheek. What would it feel like to have him whisper words of desire and devotion in her ear? Or to have his five o’ clock shadow abrade her thighs? What did he taste like? She rolled her tongue around her dry mouth and forced both thoughts away. Tanner Connolly wouldn’t see her as sexy. She had to get her hormones under control. He probably had a girlfriend, or most likely a wife. Besides, she wasn’t looking to give up her freedom and risk her heart over a possible fling.
“The class officers are allowing us free rein through the halls until eight.” He slid his hand over hers. “Macy, would you like to roam the building with me?”
His question snapped her back to reality. She smoothed her clammy palms over her skirt and, just for a moment, wished she could wish away the extra pounds on her hips. This wasn’t time to hide. She held her hand out. “Sure, I haven’t been through here since we graduated.”
As they edged through the crowd and headed to the short flight of stairs at the west end of the room, someone grabbed Macy’s arm. “I thought you were still here.”
She knew that squeaky voice—Faith. She gritted her teeth. Trust Faith to step in and cause trouble.
Tanner placed his hand on the small of Macy’s back as she stopped. “Hello, Faith. We were headed out for a walk.”
Faith snaked a thin arm around Tanner’s thick biceps. “Good, then you won’t mind if I tag along.”
“I mind very much,” Macy snapped. Who did Faith think she was? Common sense dictated she tamp down her irritation and ignore her. “We were talking and you’re minding the table.” Forget courtesies—high school and her timid attitude had ended fifteen years previously. “Find someone else to annoy. Mike Lawson comes to mind.”
“So you do have claws?” Faith snuggled closer to Tanner. Something akin to jealousy shone in her eyes. “We never really split, you know.”
“Did your baton land on your head the last time you twirled? We haven’t dated for twelve years.” Tanner stepped out of Faith’s grasp. “And I have no intention of taking up where we left off.” He held his hand out to Macy. “Now about that walk? Still interested?”
The words ‘
you’re here to
take a chance’
floated around in Macy’s brain. “I’d like that very much.” A walk was platonic—no hearts involved.
“When you’re done—” Faith notched her chin in the air “—
wasting time
, come find me. I have a surprise for you.” She slid her fingers over Tanner’s cheek before she stalked away.
Fury seeped through Macy’s system. Back in high school, she’d allowed Faith to walk all over her. Apparently Ms Glanville had never quite stepped out of the past. No matter. For now, Macy would let the irritation slide. In three days time, she’d be out of Ohio and away from temptation. Macy reached the top of the stairs and calmed down enough to speak. “She’s still a piece of work.”
“That she is.”
Tanner squeezed her fingers, sending heat straight to her core. Lust pooled low in her belly and dampened her panties. Macy scolded herself. Either she needed to get laid or Tanner was still affecting her like a drug, just like he had as the suave athlete he’d been in school. Damn. She couldn’t let him throw her off balance—she’d never be able to hold back and move on with her heart in one piece.
“Want to go down to the art room?” Tanner held open a glass door for her to pass through. “The school board sold off all the fancy desks and supplies, but I’ll bet it still smells like clay down there.”
“That’s where I was headed.” At the bottom of the steps, she passed the mosaic Bengal tiger mascot in the gymnasium foyer. Macy ran her fingers over the smooth tiles. She laughed. “Do you know how many band pictures we took in front of this goofy tiger because we all thought we looked cool?”
“Five that I know of.”
Macy cocked her head, taken aback by his response. “How’d you know? I tended to stay away from the eye of the camera.” When she counted up the images she remembered in her head, three shots of the marching band came to mind, and he wasn’t in any of them.
“I have my ways.” Tanner stopped at the top of the stairs leading down to the art and industrial arts rooms. “And the yearbook. You still stick out like a rose among thorns.”
Rose? Thorns? She shrugged off the compliment. The
Spy
couldn’t tell him everything. Sweet nothings and tokens of gratitude weren’t in her nature—especially coming from Tanner. Long-term relationships just didn’t work for her. She hated the feeling of vulnerability when she offered her heart.
She drew a long breath and let it slip past her lips. If she planned to make it through the reunion without getting hurt, she’d have to give him something to miss. “You have no idea what I can do with those thorns.”
Chapter Two
Wine wasn’t the only thing that got sweeter with time.
Tanner licked his lips as Macy Shibley descended the worn stone stairs. Not that he’d ever thought of her as anything less than adorable, but as he gazed at the woman she’d become, he found he couldn’t look away. The black cotton skirt hugged the gentle swell of her hips and gave any passing male a delicious view of her ass. The more he gawked, the more he cursed his childish stupidity.
Fifteen years ago, she’d asked him for a date. She’d put her dignity on the line and asked him to the prom. He wondered if she remembered—he’d never forgotten. Even in high school, she’d been attractive and full of spark. She might have been quiet, but her reluctance to talk and Faith’s open objection to anything having to do with Macy shouldn’t have kept him from taking her out on a date.
At the time, he’d allowed his friends to dictate his actions and had turned her down. What a fucking idiot!
Macy placed her petite hands on the locked glass door leading to the art room and sighed. He noticed a slow smile creep across her lips in the reflection. “It hardly looks like an art room anymore.”
“You loved it down here, didn’t you?” Before he could stop himself, Tanner stopped a foot behind her and rubbed her back.
“This was the one place I felt like I could be myself. No one ever bothered me when I worked. I could hide from Will and just create.” The words came out in a whisper. Her shoulder edged up in a tiny shrug. “Maybe that’s why the class thought I didn’t exist—they didn’t know where to look for me.”
Oh hell, yes, he had wanted to look for her back then, to show her he cared about her. He inched closer to her until a lock of her honey-coloured hair tickled his cheek. The scent of flowers swirled around her. Will Tuttle hadn’t deserved her. Tanner closed his eyes to savour her perfume. His cock sprang to life beneath his jeans. He imagined running his fingers through her hair as he made sweet love to her mouth. To just her mouth? No, he ached to caress every last part of her and prove his love. At that thought, he swallowed hard.
Love?
Would Macy even want him? He’d read her website and blog—she didn’t stay living in the same town for more than a year. According to the gossips, she rarely stuck with a man for more than an evening—not even Will. Did Tanner really know her? A cursory glance at a webpage and daily reading of a blog didn’t constitute intimacy or even friendship. If he wanted to be the man she spent more than a night with, well, then he had his work cut out for him.
“It’s a pity they have to trash the school,” Macy murmured. “It was a pretty building in its heyday. All the swirly art deco arches and flora.”
Tanner pushed the lusty thoughts from his mind to focus on her words and come up with a coherent response. “The grand auditorium is falling apart and the plumbing went to pot ten years ago. It’s a wonder the place is still standing.” Suave response. Damn. She sure as hell didn’t want to hear him talk shop.
“What a shame.” Her voice came out breathy and wistful.
“I can’t complain. My construction company got the contract to demolish the building.” He squeezed her shoulder, loving the feel of her body under his hand. “Ryan Myers designed a meditation park to go in its place—kind of a reminder that good things grew here.” Shit, now he sounded sappy and foolish.
“I still say it’s a shame to destroy such an old building, but a park sounds lovely.”
“No, the real disgrace is something else.” He cleared his throat. God, she probably thought he was a freak. Where’d his charm go? He dug deep for the words he’d practiced in the car on the way to the reunion. “I mean, I won’t pussyfoot. It’s embarrassing how we treated you—especially Tuttle—but you were never invisible to me.”
“That’s a tad out of left field.” Macy stepped away from him and toyed with the silver rings on her right hand. Her brows knotted together, as if the rings held some deep secret to decode. She snorted and stared him in the eye. “Be serious. I saw the posters in the cafeteria. You and everyone else forgot I existed until you needed something like pep rally posters or Winter Court advertisements.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice. “We had a strong friendship until you acted like a jock.”
Double damn. She really wasn’t going to make this easy. Then again, he’d expected nothing less. Tanner leaned against the doorframe and crossed his ankles. “You might be right, but do you remember Mr Leighton’s senior English class?”
Every time I wanted to turn around and stare at you because I didn’t have the nerve to tell you how I felt.
“I sat behind you.” She nodded without looking at him. “You wrote a term paper on Walter Payton. For a guy who didn’t find anything interesting about me, you tried in vain to convince me I’d like Pearl Jam and grunge music. I never caught the Eddie Vedder bug. Sorry.”
“True, but do you also remember asking me for a senior picture?” If she’d only remember the times he’d bugged her, the times he’d paired up with her on partner projects. God, he felt needy. How did one woman, a mere five foot three, manage to knock him down so easily?
Because fifteen years ago she’d been more than a friend. This time he wasn’t about to ignore his feelings because it didn’t look right.
“You said you ran out of pictures.” Her words came out flat, adding a swift kick to his ego.
“I didn’t have any left,” he replied and stood at his full height. “But that’s not the end of the story or what I wanted you to remember. Think back to the rest of the conversation.”
“That was it.” She notched her chin in the air. “You turned around and finished talking to Ryan and Stafford about the upcoming game against Tiffin.”
“I recall that part, but I also recall wanting one of you. I said, ‘Hey, Mace, why dontcha sign one of those for me?’ You blushed and looked away before handing me the shot of you in the lavender dress.” There, he’d admitted it, in a half-assed way. He’d wanted her then as much as he wanted her now.
Although she didn’t respond, the set of her jaw and the tight line of Macy’s mouth spoke volumes. She didn’t buy a word he said.
“I fell prey to my ego and kept my mouth shut when I really wanted to get to know you as more than friends.” Tanner shook his head and tapped the door frame with the pads of his fingers. “Jenn Miller told me to ask you out and I didn’t. I should’ve listened to her.”
“Right.” She drew the word out, her eyes widening. She nodded once and turned away. “My ego doesn’t need a boost.”
He turned her around and crooked his finger under her chin, halting her escape. “I went to the musical that year—
Carousel
, I think—just so I could see you dance. I sat in the twenty-second row and fumed that Ken James got to wrap his arms around you. That red dress you wore nearly killed me.”
She edged back a few inches and placed her hands on her curvy hips. “I know the reunion is one gigantic trip down memory lane, but what’s your point?”
The coil of tension in Tanner’s belly unwound a bit. She’d offered an opening, albeit with grumpy undertones. His voice thickened with desire and something more—devotion. “I made mistakes and I’d like to fix them.” Other words, the words he longed to say to her, jumbled in his brain.
To make you see how much I want you. To give you a reason to stick around for a little bit—for me.
Time to unburden himself. “I’m sorry I was such an ass. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”