What Now? (15 page)

Shari
nodded sympathetically. “Were you able to visit any of the families of the
people who lost their lives?”

“Yes,
a few of us went around and took flowers before we left. It was hard, but I’m
glad we went.”

“So,
has this brought out a new caring side of Nick Badley that we’re not used to
seeing?”

“That
side has always been here. It’s just not one that the media likes to
highlight.”

Shari
knew what he meant.

“OK,
I think that’s enough, Brian. We can use that in one of the segments. Thanks,
Nick. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

“What
about you?” he asked quietly, while Brian packed up. “Are you over the incident
with Tim?”

“Yes,
I’m fine. I guess because it wasn’t a random attack by a stranger I’m not
looking over my shoulder wherever I go, but I hate this whole lifestyle you
guys have with drugs and alcohol,” she added disgustedly. “It can be so
destructive.”

“I
don’t do drugs, Shari. I used to smoke a joint or two before, but I don’t even
do that now. As you say, I’ve seen firsthand how destructive drugs have been to
a lot of people in the industry, including prescription drugs, so I steer clear.”

She
could see that he was serious.

“I’m
glad to hear that,” she smiled. “I guess you’re not beyond redemption after
all.”

He
laughed. “Please feel free to try and redeem me any time. Or are you afraid
that I may corrupt you instead?”

“That’s
exactly what I’m afraid of,” Shari admitted, checking to see that Brian was far
enough away not to hear them. He had taken his equipment inside the cottage.

“Oh,
but what sweet corruption it would be,” he promised. She couldn’t help the twinge
that his promise caused.

“You’re
nothing but trouble, Nick Badley, and I don’t need any trouble in my life.”

“I
just need the right incentive to change. You can be that incentive, Shari.” 
Nick looked serious, but Shari couldn’t discern if he was just saying what he
thought would get her into his bed or if he was in fact serious. The scary
thing was that she was very tempted to believe him.

Shari
sighed with contentment as the warm jets of water massaged her back and shoulders.
This was truly the life. She had felt a little guilty taking the key that Nick
had given her after the interview so that she could use the Jacuzzi when they
went to rehearsal. She really should have gone with them to see how Paul was
fitting in, but Brian said that he would go and take some footage so that eased
her conscience a bit. Had she really fought against this assignment? This was
like a holiday. Surely it was a gift from God.

The
last thing she would have thought to pack was a swimsuit, but she’d thrown one
in her bag at the last minute, just in case, and she was now glad that she had
because she could enjoy this soak in the Jacuzzi. She would never have done it
with Nick around to see her, although her swimsuit was a very modest one piece.
It was so far from being a thong, or whatever the latest thing was, that Nick
would tease her that it would have been fashionable on the Ark or that it was
something his granny would wear, if he ever saw her. That was very unlikely as
she was planning to be gone long before they finished rehearsing. She knew that
they were going to be several hours since Paul would be learning new material
and would no doubt need to go over it several times.

The
slam of a door made her shoot up in the water and she held still, straining her
ears to hear over the almost audible beating of her racing heart. Was someone
in the cottage? It was much too early for the guys to be back. Maybe it was a
maid coming to bring towels or something. She leaned over to peer through the
French doors and the sight of Nick walking through the cottage both relieved
and alarmed her.

He
stopped and leaned casually against the closed half of the French door, looking
way too good in his black T-shirt that said BAD and ripped jeans. She didn’t
need reminding about his nickname. Or maybe she did. He held up one hand to
give her a quick wave.

“Hi.”

“What
are you doing here?” she asked accusingly, sinking further down into the water.
All of her relaxation disappeared as quickly as the steam rising from the tub.

“This
is my cottage,” he answered innocently.

“I meant,
why are you back so soon?”

“The
guys are taking a short break so I thought I would come and check on you; make
sure that you didn’t fall asleep and drown or, worse yet, leave before I could
see you in your swimsuit.”

Shari
sputtered in disbelief. “How could that be worse than drowning?”

“I
don’t know. The thought of seeing you in your swimsuit has obviously got me
talking nonsense.”

“Well,
you can see that I haven’t drowned so you can go back to the rehearsal
satisfied.”

“Oh,
I’m far from satisfied, Shari,” he admitted suggestively.

“I’m
sorry to hear that,” she said unsympathetically, “but I’m sure there are many
women in Miami who would be willing to solve that little problem for you.”

“And
I take it that you’re not one of them?”

“You
take it right. Now I know it’s your cottage, but could you please leave now? I
should probably get out before I turn into a prune all over. Right now it’s
just my fingers.”

“We
can’t have that,” Nick said, approaching the Jacuzzi. Before Shari knew what he
was going to do, he leaned over and pulled her straight out of the hot tub and
against him in one smooth movement.

The
sudden change in temperature, or maybe it was Nick’s hard body pressed against
hers, caused goose bumps to erupt all over her scantily-clad body. Her mouth
dropped open, but surprise robbed her of speech.

Nick
bent his head and gently stroked her lips with his, not wanting to scare her
off. He held her head in both hands, while he dropped kisses along her sealed
lips, coaxing them apart as he applied more pressure with each kiss. Shari’s
lips parted, almost shyly, in response to his coaxing and he delved deeper,
sampling the taste and feel of her mouth. Almost innocently receiving him at
first, she began to facilitate his movements by tilting her head to give him
better access.

Satisfied
that she was with him all the way, he released her head to stroke his hands
down her slick, bare back until they encountered her swimsuit. Shari’s hands
slid down to smooth over his now wet T-shirt, feeling the contours of his
chest, before sliding around his neck and into his short hair. His hands moved
lower, pressing her intimately against him.

Shari
struggled to smother a moan that rose in her throat as feelings she had buried
deep inside her began to rise. The sound set off a matching desire in Nick and
he began to mentally calculate how far it was to his room. Her body shaking
against his stirred his brain to sluggishly start working again. He realized
that her shaking was probably from being cold rather than passion, or it could
be both. He also registered that he was soaked from chest to thighs where he
held Shari against him.

Dragging
his lips reluctantly from hers, he carried her to where her towel was draped
across the back of a chair. Wrapping it around her, he pulled her into his arms
again. His breath came fast, matching the rhythm of hers as she bent her head
and hid her face against his chest.

“That’s
the longest I’ve heard you go without saying a word,” he teased huskily.

That roused
Shari and she turned away blindly, fumbling for her wrap and slippers.

“I am
mortified,” she mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Nick. “I can’t believe I let
you kiss me like that.”

“Why
are you upset? We both enjoyed it.” He sounded satisfied. “You’re cold. Let me
warm you up –”

“Listen,
Nick. I’m sorry I didn’t stop you right away. I’d be lying if I said that I
didn’t enjoy it. It’s been a long time for me so I got carried away, but I
don’t sleep around and I don’t intend to sleep with you. Please don’t take that
as a challenge because I’m not saying that to arouse your interest or anything
like that.”

“Too
late. I’m already aroused,” he admitted, pulling her back to him.

“This
is not funny, Nick.” She pushed him away in a bit of a panic and he let her go
at once, remembering the incident with Tim. “I’m not one of your groupies and,
although I admit that the kiss was nice –”

“Ha!”
he scoffed at her understatement.

“– I don’t
plan to make it a habit. I really meant what I said about mixing business with
pleasure and, anyway, I no longer indulge in that kind of thing.”

“What
do you mean you no longer indulge in that kind of thing? Have you taken a vow
of chastity or something?”

“In a
way, I have. I’ve decided not to sleep with anyone again outside of marriage
and I’m not going to let some oversexed rock star change my mind.”

“Oversexed?”
he sputtered.

Shari
didn’t wait to hear anymore. She shoved her feet into her slippers and flung on
her wrap, giving Nick a wide berth as she headed for the French doors where she
paused.

“I’m
serious, Nick. I’m going to have to ask my boss to get someone to finish this documentary
if you don’t stop.”

“I’m
sorry, Shari. I won’t touch you again. At least while you’re still working on
the documentary.” He held up his hand as she opened her mouth to respond. “I’ve
been out of line. I know that you’re a professional and I should never have
crossed that line.”

Once
again he managed to reduce Shari to silence. She nodded to indicate that she
accepted his apology and made her way through the cottage to let herself out
the front door.

Nick
looked down at his wet clothes and shook his head. He was surprised that steam
wasn’t rising from them. He couldn’t believe he’d pulled Shari out of the
Jacuzzi and held her dripping, but oh so luscious, body against him, not
thinking about the fact that he had to go back to the rehearsal in a few
minutes. When he started to kiss her, nothing short of Armageddon could have
stopped him. He hadn’t been prepared for the surge of desire that almost
floored him at the taste and feel of her mouth and the way her body fit so well
with his. That little moan that she tried to smother almost put him over the
edge.

For
the first time in his life, he had not thought about his music first. He had
forgotten that he was just taking a short break from their rehearsal. In fact,
when he saw Shari in the Jacuzzi he lost all conscious thought and only wanted
to feel her slick body against his and lose himself in her. He was in deep
trouble, considering that Shari wanted nothing to do with him. Not that he
could blame her. He would probably only end up hurting her like he did Jo.

Shari
turned up the shower and let it beat down on her as if it would wash away the
shame she felt that she had allowed Nick to hold her and kiss her as he had. 
She cringed again and scrubbed vigorously at her traitorous body with the loofa
sponge that the hotel had so conveniently provided. If nothing else, at least
she would have sloughed off some dead cells and have softer, smoother skin for
it.

It
wasn’t that she was innocent. She had given her innocence to Rob, believing
that she was in love with him and thinking that they would be married anyway.
However, that was not to be and just as well because he was really a dog. How
had she not seen it? After he had walked out, her friends had told her that
he’d been unfaithful, saying that they hadn’t known how to tell her before.
Some friends!

There
was no way she was going to fall into Nick Badley’s bed and go against how she
had chosen to live. But she would be lying to herself if she denied that his
kiss had been mind-blowing. She had wanted nothing more than to stay in his
arms which felt so safe and dangerous at the same time, if that made any sense.

Finally
turning off the punishing jets, she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself
in a fluffy white towel. That only caused her to remember how Nick had wrapped
the towel around her when he realized that she was shivering, although she
wasn’t entirely sure that it was from the colder temperature outside of the
Jacuzzi or from the desire that Nick had aroused.

Dressing
in a pair of silky pajamas, she curled up on the couch with her journal. Her
last entry was the one that Nick interrupted in Denver. She had a lot to pour
out tonight.

December 7, 2015

Lord,
I need help! I’m confused about Nick. He’s not what I expected him to be, at
least not totally. He has definitely earned the nickname Nick Bad, but he’s not
all bad. I’ve discovered that he doesn’t do drugs (at least he says not) and
that he believes in marriage (at least he says so) and that, while he can be
arrogant and obnoxious, he can also be generous, gentle and compassionate.

He
was taking me for a drive in a Porsche when we were in Denver and a policeman pulled
us over (him, really) for driving over the speed limit.  This was after he had
slowed down! He was really polite to the policeman, obviously hoping that he
wouldn’t give him a ticket, but I was pleasantly surprised when he said he
would leave a backstage pass for the officer’s wife and actually did it.

Then
he held me and comforted me after his drummer, Tim Benton, tried to assault me.
I still can’t believe it! And the scary thing about it is that he truly
believed that I wanted him. Fame and fortune can distort reality. Or maybe fame
and fortune combined with alcohol and cocaine, which I’m pretty sure Tim is
using. Thank you, Lord, for sending Nick when you did.

He’s
been constantly flirting with me and tonight he kissed me. Confession is good
for the soul so I have to confess that it was amazing. It was very tempting to
just let go and give in to what we both wanted. But I no longer live that kind
of life. It’s just taking my body a little while to remember that.

Anyway,
I told him not to touch me like that again and he agreed. He seemed genuinely
sorry that he had overstepped the boundaries and he promised not to disregard
the fact that I’m here in a professional capacity again. And I am glad. I
really am. So why do I feel so depressed at the thought that it will be only
business between us from now on?