‘What The Hell Was I Thinking?!!’ - Confessions of the World’s Most Controversial Sex Symbol (21 page)

The only downside was Earl had begun to drink again, mainly stemming from his depression over the amount of press I was getting comparative to his, that was really irking him. There was nothing I could do, I’d go to his AA meetings with him, but if I got recognized, it just made him more irritated. I’d even been supportive of his shooting his amateur porn films on his stupid boat. He’d actually gotten some kind of indie deal to shoot x number of films, largely based off his work with me, and as a favor to him I even shot a scene with him for his first film to help him get started. We shot the scene on his boat and it was fucking horrible. Deep down, I didn’t want to have a pornographer boyfriend, but he looked good on my arm and that was that. He didn’t seem to give a fuck what happened to me, but Charlie did, as he was back in my camp 100% and had cut all ties to John T. Bowen. I was happy we were friends again, and he put me right back to work, sending me up to Canada for a club tour at the end of September. My friend Sean came with me, because Earl and I were at a low point and I had asked him not to come. I had a blast in Montreal, they threw a big party for me, and I hooked up with a little fling named Kaleb — this local from Montreal. We started hanging out a lot in between my press and dancing gigs, and finally after a couple of days I was in bed with him having the best sex I’d had the whole year.

Its funny, because saying that probably makes you imagine me in one of my on-screen sex scenes, but to be honest people often ask me: do you have better sex on or off camera, and the honest answer is I don’t remember much about the scenes on camera. All the great sex I’ve had in my life has been off camera, because it’s more personal and I don’t have some director telling me what to do. I’m smiling now thinking back about how amazing it was, and I’ve always wondered what happened to him because he was so handsome, and we had so much in common, and to top it all off, he was definitely the best sex I ever had. It was really therapeutic, because I just really needed someone at that point who treated me as me, and wasn’t going to judge me or treat me like a ‘stupid whore,’ as Earl used to do. When I got back, I was floating on air, and throughout the rest of October, I did some photo shoots for Rob, and though I didn’t have a scene that month, was paid my full $8000 just to hang out with the company. We were a tight-knit family, where at Crème I’d felt like a red-headed stepchild.

As November rolled around, I was preparing for my first wrestling payper-view with ECW, and even prior to that, I’d been asked to host my first ‘New Jersey Metal Fest.’ So back-to-back, I had two dreams come true for me in that professionally I was working in two of my favorite worlds: wrestling and metal. The metal fest gig had come about at the VSDA show that year, when the promoter Jack Koshick approach me and asked me to host. For me, it was a natural fit, and even though I know at first people just saw me as a porn star hosting a metal festival, but in truth, I grew up listening to Carcass, Cannibal Corpse, all the New York death metal. There were thousands of fans at the festival, and their reaction to me was great, which led to my getting a good deal of mainstream rock press, from
Spin Magazine
,
Revolver
,
Metal Maniacs
, etc. It was a fucking blast, I was partying with all the bands at the hotel, and everyone was puking out the windows all night, it was so fucking awesome! The highlight for me was introducing my favorite band of all time: SEPULTURA.

Right on the heels of that, following a scene I shot with Rick Majors for
House of Whores Pt. II
, I left for New York to prepare for the
November to Remember
ECW Pay-Per-View. I flew out for a few days early with the whole Extreme crew: Rob Black, Tom Byron, myself, and a couple others. We took a red-eye flight out, and when I arrived at L.A.X. to leave, I actually ran into Johnny Cochran, who was really nice, and then when I got on the plane, Macaulay Culkin was sitting in first class with us. I thought it would be really funny of one of the Extreme crew went over and gave him a business card, and Tom Byron actually went up to him and did so! Once we got into New York, we actually had dinner at Sparks Steak House, where A Mob Boss Paul Castellano had been gunned down in the mid-80s. After dinner, we went and visited all the porn shops in Times Square asking which of my films they had in stock, and every shop was sold out of all of my titles — every single one. So I really felt on top of the world, even ahead of the Pay-Per-View. We attended a pre-PPV party that ECW sponsored the night before the match, and I met the Dudley boys, who were ECW’s tag-team members, as well Chris Chetti and Danny Doring, among a bunch of other wrestling-related personalities, and I felt like I instantly fit in.

When I woke up the next morning on the day of the match, I was so anxious with excitement I actually got a little scared. I sucked it up and headed up to the event, which took place on November 7th at the Asbury Park Convention Center in New Jersey. Upon arriving with Rob, Tom and everyone at the venue, I was escorted backstage to start prepping, and one of the first stars I was I met Spike Dudley, Tommy Dreamer and his girlfriend Francine, who was known in ECW’s circle as the ‘Queen of Extreme.’ She taught me how to take my small bumps in the ring, and it was planned that I would take what was called a ‘Stone Cold Stunner’ from her once we were live in the ring. Basically, it was choreographed that she would put her hand around my neck, pull me down, and I had to do the movement of going down on my knees and falling back, and Spike and Bubba Dudley were helping me practice.

One funny thing I took note of right away about the wrestling culture that differed from that of adult film was the etiquette, such that when you come into a dressing room, you have to say hi to everyone and then excuse yourself. There wasn’t as much socializing, and when you’re through with your match, you thank your opponent back-stage and that’s it. It’s not as personal ‘on-set,’ but much more loyal and normal off-set, unlike porn, where so many of the actors and actresses live that way 24-7. For me personally, I enjoyed and appreciated that different right off the bat, and knew this was definitely the next profession I wanted to seriously pursue.

Once the event actually started, you could hear the crowd thundering with applause from backstage, and when it was my turn to go out to the ring, I got this huge adrenaline rush as soon as I hit the floor. When I stepped into the ring, the plan was for me to announce to the crowd that I was the new ‘Queen of Extreme.’ Essentially challenging Francine for her title, so I gave my rap to the crowd: ‘My name is Jasmin St. Claire and I’m the new Queen of Extreme,’and everyone was cheering and cheering. Then all of a sudden, Francine appeared out of nowhere and gave me the stunner, and then I was carried out of the ring. I’d been told to act like I was injured, which I did, and everything went off without a hitch. I really enjoyed the adrenaline rush that I had as I entered the ring and just the whole atmosphere of the crowd, and enthusiasm and warm welcome I got. I knew that this was for me, and that I wanted OUT of porn altogether.

Dominic Accara:
After Jasmin left John T. Bone and signed on with Rob Black at Extreme Associates, those two fast developed what was very much a love/hate relationship. Jasmin, whether Rob wanted to admit it or not, was the biggest draw in his company — yes, Lizzy Borden was his wife, and did good scenes — but Jasmin was it.

Jasmin:
After the match, I was escorted backstage, and Bubba took down my information, gave me some commemorative T-shirts, and told me they wanted me to come in on a more regular basis. I gave them my contact information privately, because I wasn’t sure what Rob would and wouldn’t have been supportive of at that point. That uncertainty on my part grew in part out of the fact that, as odd as some of the characters were at the PPV that night, the two most suspicious had Rob Black and Tom Byron. After we’d left the match, both of them kept asking me all sorts of strange detail-oriented questions about how things ran backstage, who did what, basically a whole run-down on Paul Heyman/ECW’s operation. I got a bad vibe from the whole thing, but was in the same time appreciative and grateful for their getting my foot in the door to begin with. I tried to be cool about it and said I had been watching the PPV and not paying too much attention. Anyway, when we arrived back to L.A., my suspicions were further confirmed that they were up to something when Rob asked me to come into the Extreme offices to sit down and talk in more detail about how things ran backstage at ECW.

I went in to meet with Rob on a Monday, and the first thing he did to set off flares in my head was to pay me at the top of the week, instead of on Friday, our usual routine. So next he asked me, ‘How did they run things backstage at the PPV?’ And from then on, every suspicion I had that he was up to no good was confirmed. Here I thought Rob had flown me to New York with my interests in mind, when he’d really had his own agenda the whole time.They asked me so many questions too: who was where? What did they do? What was the order of command: who was running what? And again, I told him the same thing about being focused on the PPV and not paying too much attention, and kept my mouth shut. On top of that, when I saw Earl after arriving home, he told me he hadn’t even watched the match because he’d been off shooting his amateur porn videos on his stupid boat. I knew he was never going anywhere in his life, and finally found myself standing outside looking in and shaking my head at the situation, and knowing the end was coming with Earl.

As 1998 came to a close, we’d received word from the Brazilian distributor that they wanted me to fly to Brazil for a high-profile appearance. Also, although I didn’t have a movie to shoot that month, I was busy getting ready for the annual CES show in January, but amid all that, I’d had ECW following up with Rob about my doing more work for ECW, and there had been no progress. In the same time, when I overheard Rob at the office one day talking about starting HIS OWN wrestling company, I finally was validated in my suspicions of his actions following the
November to Remember
PPV. He never had had any intention of my wrestling with ECW past that one-off spy trip he’d used me to go on. The whole time, he and Tom had been studying Paul Heyman’s business model with every intention of cloning it in the form of their own outfit, and their big star to get the whole thing launched: yep, you guessed it, yours truly! Once again, those managing my affairs were using my name to make themselves money outside of and in addition to what I’d signed up to be involved with business-wise. It wasn’t right, and it was the very reason I’d fired Charlie and left John T. Bowen and Crème the summer prior, and here it looked like the plan was to do it to me again.

I left the office and immediately called Bubba over at ECW. I told him I was very interested in continuing to work with them, and he replied by telling me A) the feeling was mutual. They even had a regular routine in mind for me and Francine, the ‘Queen of Extreme,’ to carry on our mock rivalry in the ring and B) they had been in touch with Rob to that end with no reply. It looked as though Rob had trapped me contractually into a corner with this ‘Related Projects’ clause in our agreement. When I called my manager Charlie to tell him about it, I found out he was in cahoots on the whole thing. When he replied,‘We’re making more money off the Rob Black stuff; I don’t think we should make a big deal about it, especially if Rob’s going to have his own wrestling outfit.’ When I hung up the phone that night, I felt like I suddenly got an attack of claustrophobia, the same way I had when I’d been at the end with John T. Bowen and knew I needed to leave, but didn’t yet know how. I couldn’t count on Rob or Tom, or my manager Charlie, and to top it off, Earl kicked off the holidays by leaving me out in the cold in the barrio while he was off scoring crystal meth in the ghetto. He made it up to me by taking me up to Montana for the holidays to meet his family, which gave me some sense of temporary faith in our relationship.

I met his father and his grandmother, and they were both really nice people, and Earl was on his best behavior. He didn’t get fucked up, and was a gentleman, so that was a pleasant change for us. It was almost like he was someone else though, not Earl. We went to the Red Mountain Lodge, which was cool, and then I went to New York by myself for Christmas to see my mom. I think by that point, she had begun to have suspicions about what I was doing because my cousins were telling her they’d seen me on TV and heard me on the radio. That pissed me off because I’ve never — to date — really exposed my mother to that aspect of my life, there’s no need to. It was crazy that I couldn’t tell my mom anything about what was going on in my life, and at that point, she was the only person I had left. In my own sick way I think I was hoping that Earl would be another part of my life at some point — outside of adult film — but as each day went on, I realized it never was going to happen. Our best days were usually Sundays, where we’d go to breakfast together, then attend his AA meeting, and then take a bike ride up and down the PCH, and those good times were fading as time went on.

Looking to the new year, wrestling was my life’s passion now, it was something I really wanted to do, but I knew it wasn’t going to come easily to me, and especially not because of Rob Black. It was my turn to get out there to do something for myself. I made it my resolution for 1999 to get out of the business, get rid of Rob, Charlie, and move on from Earl — who left me to walk home from St. Marks at 2:30 in the morning because Earl was too drunk to drive us home. I was astonished by his behavior, but like an idiot, I stayed with him, even as I resolved to progress with my plans to leave porn behind me in the New Year. On another level entirely, I couldn’t live anymore with my mom possibly knowing all this shit was going on, but I knew we could both live with wrestling, and I knew most importantly within that year that it all had to be accomplished.

I started off January preparing for the forthcoming CES show, my first with Extreme since I’d left Crème, and I guess that first cycle of my life in adult film had come full circle, because I ran into none other than John T. Bowen and his wife at Extreme’s booth. It was the first time we’d seen each other since I’d left the previous summer, and not surprisingly, he was very cold to me, and wouldn’t say anything.Then John’s wife stormed up to Lizzie, Rob Black’s girlfriend and an Extreme executive, and yelled ‘You people stole Jasmin from us, you stole Jasmin!’ She threw a bottle of water at Rob, it was a nasty scene, and in my defense, I kept my mouth shut when I could have told John’s wife, ‘Yeah, well your husband was fucking around on you with Kendra!’ I should have though; I probably would have been doing her a favor. I was happy to find out years later that she’d since left John, got a real estate license, and was doing really well, and have no hard feelings toward her now. At the show though, John’s wife’s anger was really a reflection of how big a star I had become since leaving Crème. Especially after the Pay-Per-View, because in addition to how busy my booth was the whole show, at the awards ceremony, we won ‘Funniest Movie of the Year’ for
The Pornographer
.

Everyone in the press at the show hammered me with questions trying to confirm I had future wrestling plans, and Rob told everyone generically that there definitely would be. Obviously he kept it generic so he wouldn’t let word slip about the wrestling company he and Tom were quietly planning to debut later in the year, with guess who as their main attraction. There was some humorous tension that week among the Extreme camp because I was getting invited to bigger and bigger places and parties that Rob and Tom weren’t. So my friend Sean and I went, along — of course — with Earl, who had to tag along everywhere I went. Earl was

getting more and more work from Rob Black, and it was done as a favor to me, because he was my boyfriend, and he knew by being on my arm, the adult film press would give him substantially more coverage. Looking back on it now, Earl — in the porn world — was at that time a lot like K-FED was to Britney, because I was essentially a pop porn star by that point. It was a designation that only Jenna and I really held, and Earl knew how to ride my coattails. The only party everyone was invited to was the one Extreme threw for me at a ritzy Vegas club, and it was PACKED. It was my second year in a row, and my Billboard was even bigger that year. Professionally, I was just riding a wave that I hoped would eventually carry me to the next level of fame as a wrestler and retired porn star.

On Super Bowl Sunday weekend, I had a competing booking in Miami, which was a $7000 payday, and Rob had inadvertently scheduled me that same weekend for a trip to Brazil to promote for my distributor down there, which I couldn’t afford to make. I had also pre-booked a vacation after the Miami gig to go to Acapulco and I had pre-paid a $1000 airline ticket for. So Rob and Charlie had replaced me with some low-end porn girl for the Brazil trip. The night before she was supposed to leave, I got a call from Rob at 3 in the morning telling me she had conveniently lost her passport and couldn’t get a Brazilian visa. I thought it was bullshit, and that the Brazilian distributor had raised enough of a ruckus about my not coming, they finally caved and promised I’d be there. That is just my hunch, but by that point, everything with Rob was suspect. So sure enough, the next morning I get a knock on my door from one of Rob’s assistants telling me we had to rush over to the Brazilian embassy to get my visa. Anyway, Charlie convinced me that the Brazilian trip was important enough to Rob’s broader distribution structure down in South America that I agreed to bail him out and go. Little did they know I had (and still do have) a Brazilian passport as well, and could have just used that. I really needed a vacation away from everything and some ME time.

Charlie re-scheduled my Miami booking and the girl they got to go in my place made $1000, which was a considerable price cut, which was a huge relief for me. Anyway, everything was rushed getting ready for the flight, from the visa to my packing, and I just made the first flight to Houston, only to find out upon arrival there that my flight to San Paulo had been cancelled due to a pilots’ strike. That news came as no surprise since the entire whole trip had been a debacle from the start. I lucked out with a really sweet airline employee who upgraded me to First Class for the remainder of my flights, rescheduled me out of Dallas to Miami, then to San Paulo. My therapy to deal with the huge mess this entire trip had been thus far to get completely shit-faced on the flight down. I arrived in Brazil on the day of the big promotional party I was the star of, had no prep time to get ready upon touching down, so I actually did my hair and make-up myself in the airplane restroom. I jumped off the plane into the waiting limo, and headed straight to the gig.

When we got to the gig, there was a HUGE line of cheering people waiting outside the club to see me. When I actually got inside, forget about it. The place was packed. I guess Rob had pre-booked Earl to be down there for another part of the company promotional plans, so I just ignored and walked right past him without saying a word. Anyway, I was already drunk and continuing on with that party throughout the night, to the point where I guess they told me later that a bouncer had to take me into a shower in the back of the club to wake me up. Then Earl left with me slung over his shoulder to head back to the hotel. I woke up with a horrible hangover and had a shoot to do for Hustler, which I got through solely based on my professionalism.The rest of my trip consisted of a bunch of similar promotional events, plus a couple of scenes they wanted me to shoot in Brazil, only I refused to work with any of the local male talent, due to the horrible health regulations, etc. Thankfully, Tom Byron was down there, so I agreed to do the shoot with him in Rio, which I left for after a few days in San Paulo. Before we’d left, I’d also done an appearance on the
Jo Suarez Show
AGAIN.

Rio was a big improvement, first because the hotel they booked me into was right on the beach, the Marisol Hotel, and it was beautiful. I went to the beach, and to punish Rob a little for dragging me away from my vacation, I bought a mini-wardrobe on his dime. It was fun too because I was a pretty recognizable star by that point in Brazil, and was treated accordingly by the locals. Every guy I ran into down there was pretty hot, and my scenes with Tom Byron went well, so the only real torpedo that could have slammed into- and ruined- my good time at that point was Earl, and of course, that’s exactly what happened. On one of the last nights we were in Rio, he’d been out drinking and partying at the local whorehouses and showed up drunk at my hotel room door in the middle of the night. He had started throwing shit at me in a drunken rage when I’d rightfully given him trouble for his behavior. I was so scared that I ended up calling Rob’s room in the middle of the night, and he had me stay in the extra bed in Tom’s room.

When we got back to the states, in later February, I shot another movie for Extreme called
Sluts, Butts and Housewives,
which I shot with Earl and Luciano. The most memorable part of making that movie was the continual embarrassment Earl was causing — based this time on the news that had gotten around to everyone — including me — that he was injecting his cock with a liquid form of Viagra to keep it erect during his sex scenes. After his behavior in Brazil, coupled with this revelation, I had a strong feeling that he was going to fuck things up for me professionally if this went on much longer, and so I made a definitive decision that I would end the relationship in the near future.

Throughout the rest of the spring, Extreme released a compilation called
Extremely Yours, Jasmin,
and I took a vacation to Mexico, and then headed to New York for some feature dance gigs. In the course of that trip, I spoke to ECW Wrestling again, and found out they had been trying to contact me about coming back to do another PPV, but that Rob Black had been blocking access to me. I didn’t raise too much ruckus about it at that point because things were still going relatively well with Extreme, and I didn’t want to fuck that up. In April, I shot another new movie called
Acid Sex
, which featured me in 2 scenes with Tom Byron and Earl, who Rob had decided to give a last chance to at my request. I also followed up with Charlie about ECW, and he shot it down with the typical Extreme party line, ‘We’ve got something better planned for you.’ I also had another trip to New York that week, and ran into my old friend ‘Sickie,’ who I’d lost touch with years earlier when I’d first moved to L.A. I had brought Earl with me — for the last time — on a road gig, and of course, he let me down and acted like a total alcoholic loser the whole time, and our relationship was really in its waning days by that point.

Later in May, I shot another movie for Extreme called
Inheritance
that co-starred Ashlyn Gere where I played her younger sister. The plot involved two sisters who conned guys, killed them and then took their money. That was one of a bunch of my movies that got edited down and sold to Playboy and Hustler’s T.V. channels, which had come from my deal with Extreme. One of the many things I hadn’t had with John T. Bone, so I was trying not to rock the boat yet with Rob. Still, by this point he had started becoming more vocal within the company about his plans to start his own wrestling company, starring his porn actresses along with former ECW wrestlers he planned to hire. His basic plan, confirming my suspicion following the ECW PPV the previous year, was to clone ECW’s model of operation and become the west coast equivalent.

At the beginning of June, I had a routine dance gig to do in Connecticut and attended Ozzfest while I was back East, which took an unexpected turn when I met the drummer from Slayer, Paul Bostaph. Things with Earl were finally on their last leg, so I had no problem exchanging numbers with Paul, and he even came to hang out with me at my last dance gig on that week of bookings. I was quite happy about that, and really looking forward to getting to know him better as time went on. As the summer rolled along, I traveled to Brazil in July for the big Sex Expo and they had a booth there I was going to be signing at with Ashlyn Gere. Rob brought his waste-of-space girlfriend Lizzie, along with Tom Byron, Earl, and a couple others, but I my mind was elsewhere the whole flight in, thinking about the scene I was going to shoot with this HOT Brazilian guy Christian I had met briefly on the last trip. I had thought he was really hot, and once I got wind of the fact that Earl was trying to hide his dick injections in another of our party,Tom Conneley’s, hotel fridge, that was my last straw. Apparently it was as well for others at Extreme who had tolerated Earl up to that point, including Tom Byron, who gave him shit for being a drunken embarrassment when we all went out to dinner the first night, as well as Rob and others at our table.

Earl’s answer was to storm out loudly and unapologetically off to a whorehouse near the hotel pissing everyone off and embarrassing everyone at the table. I can safely say — looking back on it now — that my feelings for him at that point had disintegrated entirely into hatred, so I took the moment as an opening to pack his shit, leave it at the front desk, and get my room key switched. I next called Rob and I wanted Earl out of my life entirely, which meant asking Extreme not to give him any more work — especially with me! Rob explained he had no problem with that given I was the SOLE reason they’d hired the douche bag to begin with. Since Rob had given him all of his scenes as a favor to me to begin with, it was an easy excuse for Extreme to dump him now that I had. On top of all that, to really rub his face in shit, the next day I shot that scene with Christian Wave, and it was amazing. I let him fuck Earl entirely out of my mind, body, spirit and soul, and it was exactly what I needed. I enjoyed myself so much that I decided to continue the party and invited him to stay in my room that night, and it was exactly what I needed, and Earl and I weren’t talking at all at this point. They ended up sending Earl home early.

Waking up refreshed the next day, which was also the start of the convention, my ego was really boosted by the number of fans who turned out at my booth signing. I was there for 3 days, and there were several thousand people there to see me, and so I wound up enjoying this Brazil trip A LOT more than the first one, most notably because of Earl’s absence for the balance of the Expo. Having that contrast was the equivalent of an epiphany for me that my love life — and life in general — would be much healthier without Earl. Even though I was working, the trip felt more like a vacation — all on Rob’s dime: I shopped, went clubbing at night, and even started using my Portuguese, my 2nd language. Christian and I had a long goodbye before I left back for the States, and I even told him he could stay with me if he ever decided to visit L.A. I was just so relieved to have gotten rid of Earl, and knew in my heart that our break was a permanent one this time.

That August, I took everyone from Extreme with me to Ozzfest. We all hung out backstage, and it was a lot of fun with the exception of Rob Black’s ego, which was inflating out of control by the day because he’d finally publicly announced his first XPW Wrestling show for later in that month. He had gone so far in copying ECW’s blueprint that he actually hired ex-ECW wrestlers to work for XPW, it was shameless. He would even have these guys imitate ECW characters, and was even trying to hire wrestlers still actively under contract to Paul Heyman at ECW away. It was totally unethical, and at first, I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with it. Thankfully, I was already booked to host the Milwaukee Metal Fest that year, so I had an excuse not to be at the debut show. They has me shoot promos before I left for the next show, and clearly Rob planned for me to be one of his main stars, as with the films, so I knew there was no way around participating in his wrestling venture, even though my heart was with ECW.

I had become friends with an ECW wrestler named Big Dick Dudley, who had been hired for the show, and he even stayed with me while he was in town working — on the couch, I might add, to clear up the rumor going around that we were fucking. He was more like a big brother to me; we had the same mischievous nature, and would pull pranks together on people at the gym all the time. Rob’s ego kept growing further out of control as the fall went on. I was also becoming better friends with Paul Heyman, and keeping him in the loop on this — among others — because the one thing I definitely didn’t want was to have even a remote impression on Paul’s part that I was in co-hoots with Rob. I loved ECW, they had given me my start, and still wanted to work with me, and in hindsight it was a smart move on my part to show where my loyalties lied, because within the year, I would be working for Paul as one of ECW’s wrestlers.